My aunt and uncle raised all four of my cousins in Wytheville, VA, which is about an hour away from Roanoke on I-81S (at the intersection if 81 and 77). We went down there pretty frequently to visit.
Roanoke has more going on, but it's not much of a happening city. Seems like a good place to raise a family. Lots of nothing out there, beautiful scenery. Lots of parks/forests to explore and other outdoorsy things. The hills in the area do make for some interesting flying, but fun flying. Weather isn't bad. It's high enough MSL that you can get away without having air conditioning (my aunt and uncle don't even have any window units in their house). Winters can get snow/ice, but as I recall you used to live in New England, which had it much worse.
Schools, probably depends on your area. Wytheville didn't have the best school, but they did have a magnet school of some sort for the smarter kids. I'd expect Roanoke to be similar. Where you are now I think has better schools, and I'd take NC over VA.
Given your choices listed thus far, either staying put or else OKC sound better to me.