Teen attacks parents with knives after they take her cell phone

[flyersfan31]

Me neither Nick. No hard feelings at all. I'm glad you love your dad so much. I feel strongly about the subject. Certainly not worth coming to blows over - wouldn't that be ironic?

I really want people to think twice, to try something new. Even the folks on opposite sides of the hitting divide agree on one thing: kids need to be disciplined.

Kids who run amok at the mall? Undisciplined. I bet some get smacked on the bottom, some get platitudes. Whatever, the discipline is not meted out appropriately. If they don't know that it's inappropriate behavior, then it's clear they're not being disciplined properly.

Kids have best friends instead of parents? Undisciplined.

Kids who hear "one more time. i mean it. Just one more. Now, really, one more time. Stop it. One more time and I'll do something." Undisciplined.

Kids sent to time out? Undisciplined. Time out is rarely effective and only if done in a limited and specific way. Most parents just say "time out" and that's it. Ain't no way to discipline a kid.

We, believe it or not, are on the same page in terms of the importance of disciplining children. Misdeeds gone unpunished will continue. Our difference of opinion lies in whether it is necessary to hit a child in order to successfully punish/discipline them. I say no, and, as I've said, I feel strongly about it. I feel like its a cop-out. My reasons are illustrated above. YMMV. I wish people would at least think about what I've said.

 

[dmccormack]

Yes, it's a bad policy. But when the child-beaters defend their decision with sweeping blanket statements about kids who are not 'disciplined' right as a universal rule(e.g. spare the rod, spoil the child), I like to step in and show that it cuts both ways.

...and you wonder why tempers flare?

I've never, ever "beaten" any of my children -- ever.

But they were spanked a couple of times or so each (review my earlier posts about perception).

There *is* a difference, and it's sophomoric hyperbole to label one side "child beaters."

I suppose the non-child beaters are -- what? -- "Enlightened perfect parents"?

 

[flyersfan31]

I suppose the non-child beaters are -- what? -- "Enlightened perfect parents"?

New Age parents, apparently

Sorry, but calling me New Age is just pretty darn funny!

No, incindiery language doesn't help. I'll let Doc address that.

But hitting is hitting. If the point is to inflict pain, for whatever purpose, well, that's not exactly a warm hug is it? It sounds, to me, like you (Dan) are a proponent of a firm, yet presumably painless, whack on the rump. Fair enough, I can see, if the painless part is true, why you don't feel that's so bad. Others have talked about getting switched, and smacked - taking it to another level. I still disagree with any degree of physical force, be it a gentle tap or a punch in the head, being used to discipline a kid. I don't think it is necessary.

You don't have to hit to encourage appropriate behavior. There are other, effective, ways. I've even offered to pay the cost to learn how!

Dan, the following isn't directed at you, I'm pretty clear that you are talking about discipline. I still disagree, but it is what it is.

Others, again, have extrapolated not hitting kids to mean raising bad adults (if that statement was revised to say that not disciplining kids meant raising bad adults, then I would agree), or clueless innocents unschooled in the world of hard-knocks. I find it hard to believe that the best way to teach a kid that it's a tough world out there is to hit/smack/swat/beat/call-it-what-you-may them. I've spent my time in the gritty parts of the big city; I know the score. My parents didn't need to hit me to get me to understand. Maybe I'm just lucky?

 

[Ted]

My kids will be well adjusted adults.

To be fair, Nick, you have no way whatsoever of knowing this to be true. It is pure speculation.

It would be correct to state that you'll use parenting methods that you believe will make sure your kids will be well adjusted adults, but you have no way of predicting the future, certainly not to that degree.

We haven't accomplished anything here but get mad at each other.

Isn't the internet fun?