Stupid warnings and bad instructions thread

Ghery said:
That sign has been around for decades. I had it posted in the control room of a lab I built at my previous employer. A great sign. :D
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For a while now, I've been thinking about this little wonder to add to an aircraft I'll eventually purchase.

Directly in front of the right seat, have a red button below a placard "Attention Passenger! Do not touch this button!"

What the pax doesn't know is that the button is wired to a small box wired into the intercomm. When pressed, the button activates an audio loop. A klaxon sounds then, "WARNING! WARNING! Prepare for passenger ejection sequence!"
 
We don't need no steenking warnings.

We have a term at work called Carpenter Safe.

Carpenter Safe is a relative term and not particularly safe. It means that it's safe enough for us to use and be around because we know what is going on and why and how, however innocent bystanders are likely to get seriously killed, or worse, from it. If it's not declared carpenter safe, it means stop and think or die. And if it's got a sign on it, it means there is some seriously perilous crap involved. (Over the last few weeks, there have been several big signs up...twasn't safe in the least however it's got to get built somehow)
Casper is likely to get hurt in there right now if he's not careful...and Casper is our resident night light that stands 2 feet from an abyss... That area is so hazardous that we leave two additional night lights on for Casper's safety.

I figure even OSHA can't fine us. Any OSHA types that take one look through the door will have a heart attack and die right there on the spot before they could get their pen and paper out.
 
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Dan Thomas said:
I bet the ship was selling lots of Coors on that deck.

Dan
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Found the deck (so there are some girls up there):

abhehU2V.jpg
 
Photoshopped. That age group is at least 15 years too young to be on a cruise. ;)

(Kidding.)
 
denverpilot said:
Photoshopped. That age group is at least 15 years too young to be on a cruise. ;)

(Kidding.)
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Oh no, it's family vacation now. The cruise ship economy here has cleaned up everything to make it a cruisesship port for the Bahamas and Carribean for east of the Rockies and Europe. We've got a lot of big cruise ships, but I only see net loss to the local economy. Hotel rooms, that's it, and there is only a finite number of those. Port fees? Where do they go?
 
jpower said:
YES I love that one! A family friend sent it to us a while back, but I totally forgot about it!
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Funny, yes, although it's a pretty obvious photoshop job.
 
Ok check this one out. Look at warning #1. "Do not exceed your known performance capabilities."

Seriously? Isn't that the whole POINT of weight training, or for that matter any form of exercise program?
 
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flyingron said:
My other favorite was the ATIS pronouncement and it was noted on the airport diagram at Dulles to read back all runway crossing instructions. At the time, there was no taxiways that actually crossed runways. If you drove from a taxiway across a runway to the other side you were rolling around in the weeds.
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Are you sure it was runway crossing instructions, not hold short instructions? Blowing a runway crossing instruction, not crossing when instructed to do so, usually doesn't create much of a problem.
 
I've lived in this dorm for a year and a half and I still haven't figured out this sign taped to our outgoing mailbox. No interplanetary mail, perhaps?

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I bought my wife a propane powered weeder (sort of a flame thrower). The safety tips include:

"Do not apply the flame to propane tank to increase the pressure."

Now until they mentioned that I don't think I would have thought about doing that. Now we're out using the thing on a cold day and the flame starts to peter out and you think...well maybe...
 
Some instructions should just be left to Mr. Darwin.
This is one of them:
 

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jpower said:
I've lived in this dorm for a year and a half and I still haven't figured out this sign taped to our outgoing mailbox. No interplanetary mail, perhaps?
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Most likely no private mail service; i.e., stamped mail for USPO pickup and delivery. Does the campus have any internal mail systems?

-Skip
 
Skip Miller said:
Most likely no private mail service; i.e., stamped mail for USPO pickup and delivery. Does the campus have any internal mail systems?

-Skip
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I think it does in theory, but students don't use it. That's probably what they're referring to, though. Still, I prefer to be reminded not to put mail destined for Mars in the box :).
 
fgcason said:
What is the one plastered all over the inside of new cessna's?

Failure to whatever can result in serious injury or death. If you're in KS, you'll run into mountains before you run out of warning labels telling you that you're absolutely going to die a painful horrible death by even sitting in the seat.
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You mean this one?

 
bflynn said:
A few year back I got a string of Christmas lights.

The tag said "Warning, for indoor or outdoor use only"
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Well, what's implied there is that they are not for internal use.

:D

I'll bet a dollar that somebody has shown up at the ER with a "problem" involving a string of Xmas lights.
 
roncachamp said:
Are you sure it was runway crossing instructions, not hold short instructions? Blowing a runway crossing instruction, not crossing when instructed to do so, usually doesn't create much of a problem.
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They read the warning specifically the way it was printed in the FAA guidance. "Read back all runway crossing and hold short instructions."

It's not so much an issue now as with the addition of the new west runway, you actually can cross 1C/19C, but back when they started that ATIS, no taxiway ever crossed a runway at Dulles.
 
AggieMike88 said:
For a while now, I've been thinking about this little wonder to add to an aircraft I'll eventually purchase.

Directly in front of the right seat, have a red button below a placard "Attention Passenger! Do not touch this button!"

What the pax doesn't know is that the button is wired to a small box wired into the intercomm. When pressed, the button activates an audio loop. A klaxon sounds then, "WARNING! WARNING! Prepare for passenger ejection sequence!"
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it'll need a 337 and field approval and end up costing $22000 . . .
 
denverpilot said:
Photoshopped. That age group is at least 15 years too young to be on a cruise. ;)

(Kidding.)
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nah, it's carnival . . . where its impossible to sleep except between 3a and 7a after the drunks have passed out . . .
 
jpower said:
I've lived in this dorm for a year and a half and I still haven't figured out this sign taped to our outgoing mailbox. No interplanetary mail, perhaps?
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No on campus (i.e., non-postal interdepartmental mail).
 
From the Twinstar POH:

"Do not allow fire, sparks or heat near fuel. Fuel burns violently and can cause injury to persons and damage to the airplane."

I am assuming a lawyer wrote this
 
Okay, I came across this sign (not this exact one, but it has identical verbiage) in the pool area at the gym today. It was just posted because someone apparently turded the pool a few days ago.

Can someone tell me what's wrong with this sign?

NHE-17378_300.gif
 
(Hint: Who is being directed to perform an action, and what action is it?)
 
On bicycles,warning roads are slippery when wet.
 
Anyone remember Burma shave? " we know how much you love that gal.....but use both hands while driving pal!" Burma shave. Many more , on many highways up to the 60s.
 
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Yeah I think I've seen them in reruns of Adam 12.
 
Jimmy cooper said:
Anyone remember Burma shave? " we know how much you love that gal.....but use both hands while driving pal!" Burma shave. Many more , on many highways up to the 60s.
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Those signs were my entertainment on long drives when I was a kid.
 
There was no entertainment on long drives when I was a kid. That's why and how I learned to read maps. "Where are we now?" was answered by handing me a map, with a suggestion to find out myself.

Oh, and long trips were never less than 10 hours. Read, sleep, play games, fight with brother, bother parents, repeat as necessary.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Okay, I came across this sign (not this exact one, but it has identical verbiage) in the pool area at the gym today. It was just posted because someone apparently turded the pool a few days ago.



Can someone tell me what's wrong with this sign?



NHE-17378_300.gif
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We saw these in Key West too. They're becoming popular. I joked with Jay on Favebook that he needs to put them up at his hotel in Port A. LOL.

Ironically similar...

You know all those popular "Tough Mudder" style races the folks who like to run around on weekends for exercise, where they added "obstacles" so they're not bored out of their minds?

Yeah. CDC linked the mud holes in those races to explosive diarrhea.

http://nypost.com/2014/05/03/muddy-fecal-water-is-making-tough-mudders-sick/

ROFLMAO. Maybe a little tougher and a different kind of mud than folks thought? ;)

(Seriously, you don't have to pay to enter a race... I'll let anyone who wants exercise build me a nice fence, or shovel some rocks. You won't even have to pay me!)
 
denverpilot said:
We saw these in Key West too. They're becoming popular. I joked with Jay on Favebook that he needs to put them up at his hotel in Port A. LOL.

Ironically similar...

You know all those popular "Tough Mudder" style races the folks who like to run around on weekends for exercise, where they added "obstacles" so they're not bored out of their minds?

Yeah. CDC linked the mud holes in those races to explosive diarrhea.

http://nypost.com/2014/05/03/muddy-fecal-water-is-making-tough-mudders-sick/

ROFLMAO. Maybe a little tougher and a different kind of mud than folks thought? ;)

(Seriously, you don't have to pay to enter a race... I'll let anyone who wants exercise build me a nice fence, or shovel some rocks. You won't even have to pay me!)
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I could have foreseen that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that masses of people wading through mud are probably barfing and crapping in it too. At a minimum, peeing in it.

Exact reason why I don't go in to the ball pit inside the play maze.
 
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