Splitting the dinner bill

[Let'sgoflying!]

Restaurants do a diservice to there staff and customers when they mandate the tip.

on the other end of the scale we have a state-run restaurant here that has for years forbidden staff to accept any tips!
(we would have to grab their hand and jamb in into their palm)
Some of the staff had to get second jobs in town to pay their bills when this terrific policy came down.

 

[Rudy]

It's interesting reading these!
Me and about 6 of my friends went to eat one time after a football game, one of my friends ordered his whole meal, ate and then when the ticket came in said "one of you is going to have to cover me, i'm broke" we split it up between us, but we gave his so much crap about it hasn't ever happened again! We told him if he does it again he will be washing dishes to pay for it.
I honestly don't mind if someone says before hand "Hey, i am out of money can you cover me", but when he did it like that it was frustrating.

I usually try to make sure no one in the deal gets cheated so if i see someone throwing in the extra money i will stop them and try to refigure.

 

[gismo]

Well, don't forget Nick, many places (every high end place I've ever been too) add a minimum 18% gratuity on parties of 6,8,10 or more. There is a greater front house cost on large parties (more attention needed on one table, more waitstaff needed to deliver food to table, more bussing needed on that table) so they generally add that on. It says it on the menu and, in many cities, on the door as well.

If it was a small (4 or less) I'd agree. Over 6? I'd disagree with you.

I still can't quite see how it takes more overhead to support a large table than three small ones. It seems like it ought to be more efficient rather than less. Sure a table of 12 people takes a lot more effort than one table of 3, but certainly not more than four tables of three. Granted the kitchen staff can be a bit more stressed to coordinate the timely preparation of a larger group, but that seems like a small part of the issue.

Personally, I've always assumed that the main reason for the "standard" gratuity for larger groups is because (as discussed here) large groups often come up short when the bill is shared and the tip usually sufferes the most.

 

[Toby]

I just tuned in to this thread. My biggest, I mean it, biggest pet peeve is going out to eat with a bunch of people who want to divide the check down to the last penny afterwards. It ruins the whole meal for me. When I see that starting to happen, sometimes I'll grab the check, do a quick math problem in my head, and tell everyone their share including tip. Or someone else will do that. It makes me crazy when someone says, well, I didn't have the side salad, so that's $2.99.

Friends share. You eat a little more this time, you eat a little less next time. It all evens out, and you don't ruin a fun time by quibbling over money. If I end up in one of those let's-study-the-check-for-20-minutes situations, I don't go out with them again. I am a mush in most other things, but this really bothers me, probably because my parents did it and it was embarrassing.

 

[Ken Ibold]

I just tuned in to this thread. My biggest, I mean it, biggest pet peeve is going out to eat with a bunch of people who want to divide the check down to the last penny afterwards.

I used to work with a woman who would whip out a calculator and deliver each person's total, to the penny, and then make change for them. Of course, this was also a person who not only alphabetized her hundreds of albums (pre-CD days!), but listened to them in alphabetical order, too, so we are talking personality disorder.

I think a distinction to make is whether you're dining with friends, acquaintenances or business associates. The rules change from situation to situation.

 

[woodstock]

long time ago (prior job) a coworker was NOTORIOUS for being a major cheapskate. in everything. he was a little weird to begin with. (actually a lot weird - zero and I mean zero social skills)

sometimes we'd all go to lunch together and it was hilarious to watch this: if it was dutch, he wouldn't go (or he would go and wait for someone to offer to pay it - it was funny to watch him squirm when the bill came around). if the director went with us, and said "it's my treat" ohhh his eyes would light up and he'd go with us and order everything on the menu. one time it was a big group thing, director went, but didn't offer up front to pay and he went anyway assuming it was a treat. it wasn't, we all ponied up but I think she ended up paying for him anyway. what a loser.

 

[Dave Theisen]

My Grandmother, who was around 93 at the time, would go out to lunch with a group from her community. She told us when the bill came, the "you had two drinks and I only had one" and "I didn't have a salad" arguments would ensue. My Dad asked her, "you are all friends, why don't you just divide it evenly". She responded, "We're not freinds, we're all that's left."

 

[Anthony]

You own a plane. You can afford it.

 

[gibbons]

Of course, this was also a person who not only alphabetized her hundreds of albums (pre-CD days!), but listened to them in alphabetical order

Well, at least I didn't listen to mine in order

 

[Dave Siciliano]

I just tuned in to this thread. My biggest, I mean it, biggest pet peeve is going out to eat with a bunch of people who want to divide the check down to the last penny afterwards. It ruins the whole meal for me. When I see that starting to happen, sometimes I'll grab the check, do a quick math problem in my head, and tell everyone their share including tip. Or someone else will do that. It makes me crazy when someone says, well, I didn't have the side salad, so that's $2.99.
==============================

We all have baggage from the past we deal with; it's one of our challenges as we get more seniority . I certainly agree with you if it's a group of friends. In this case, I didn't know some of these folks and will probably not see them again. Would you still just step up and cover the tab in that case?

Dave

 

[Dave Siciliano]

long time ago (prior job) a coworker was NOTORIOUS for being a major cheapskate. in everything. he was a little weird to begin with. (actually a lot weird - zero and I mean zero social skills)
==================

We had a guy like that where I worked in a previous life. Used to sometimes wait to see him return from lunch. Couple of us would act like we were just about to go and offer to buy!!

This thread is too funny!!

Dave

 

[Lawreston]

long time ago (prior job) a coworker was NOTORIOUS for being a major cheapskate. in everything. he was a little weird to begin with. (actually a lot weird - zero and I mean zero social skills)
==================

We had a guy like that where I worked in a previous life. Used to sometimes wait to see him return from lunch. Couple of us would act like we were just about to go and offer to buy!!

This thread is too funny!!

Almost as bad, when I used to travel and set up new stores in the catalogue showroom industry, was one of our other mchdse. managers who fancied himself the ultimate chef. He constantly reminded us about If I were preparing this I'd add............ or the total embarrassment for us was when he'd send something back to the chef, sometimes twice. The title of this thread wasn't a factor then because we were on expense accounts, but sheesh. We tried to time our dinners to when he was, otherwise, busy.

HR

 

[Greebo]

Dave: You need to include closing [/quote] tags.

 

[TangoWhiskey]

So, in that situation, how would you try to settle the bill without embarrassing anyone and still showing Texas (or other good) manners?

Trust, but verify. If I am going out with friends and we've agreed we're splitting the bill, and the waitress hands it to me, I figure out what each person owes [not down to the penny, but round dollars] and ask them for it... "Bill, you owe $14, Tammy... $22." And then I count it when they hand it to me. No question that way... everybody puts in their fair share. Bill and Tammy can see the bill if they question how I came up with their total, which also includes their share of tax & tip.

If we're splitting it evenly, I add the tip, divide 'x' ways, and tell each person how much to fork over.

Then I hand it all to the waitress/waiter.

Is this rude to my fellow diners? I've never had anyone complain about it or seem "put off".

 

[John J]

ON one dinner occation I was with 8 folks and at the end "captain of the group" pulled out his calculator and yes he did have in his overcoat a one of those old change machines that cabbies use to wear. Yikes it was amazing.

John

 

[Ghery]

I run into this problem at meetings of an international standards group I'm involved with. I've really cut back on my drinking, and my employer has guidelines on meal expenses that my boss gets religeous about. When there are a number of Europeans at the table they go through a lot of wine, and the bill gets split evenly. Really raises hell with my travel budget. I've eaten the difference between the actual cost and what I can get reimbursed for more than once. Oh well, part of the cost of influencing standards, I guess.

 

[Toby]

We all have baggage from the past we deal with; it's one of our challenges as we get more seniority . I certainly agree with you if it's a group of friends. In this case, I didn't know some of these folks and will probably not see them again. Would you still just step up and cover the tab in that case?

Dave

I'm not sure. I think I might first try passing it around again and asking everyone to take another look, that we're $60 short, and see if the peer pressure works. Someone else might pipe up and remind folks that we ordered another bottle of wine or appetizers, whatever. Sometimes you just have to jog their memories (or manners).

We have a birthday lunch group at work that varies in size from four to close to 20, depending on how many can make it that day. We always divide the check equally. Maybe it works in our case because we have two people (me and one of my coworkers) who are in charge of the tab. But we have not had anyone drop out of the group because of it. Most of also have the sense to put in extra when we order extra, or at least we offer to.

And I see that I didn't answer your question. In your situation, if we were still short I think I'd throw in extra and hope that one or two of my other friends would help out, too. The main thing is to avoid an extended bill-paying period with a lot of attention paid to it.

 

[Let'sgoflying!]

Is this rude to my fellow diners?

Sounds fair and reasonable to me Troy, I think a big part of the problem goes back to (a lot of) parents not teaching their children common sense and fair play.... so they have nothing to relate to when in situations such as this, when adults.

 

[wsuffa]

For those who have the (political) comic strip Mallard Fillmore in their papers, today's strip is on-point for tipping.

King Features doesn't make it available online, but it's possible one of the papers does.

 

[Dave Siciliano]

It's fascinating to see the interest of board members on this topic!! Among the many informative, well-researched, newsworthy subjects posted, this got as much or more interest than most..haa. Guess it hits home with everyone.

Dave

 

[woodstock]

It's fascinating to see the interest of board members on this topic!! Among the many informative, well-researched, newsworthy subjects posted, this got as much or more interest than most..haa. Guess it hits home with everyone.

Dave

yup. as I said in my first post, the Washington Post writer who wrote a column about splitting the dinner check said she had never gotten so many emails for any other column. I don't think it means that the writers are stingy people, I think it means that many people likely don't mind picking up tabs if it's THEIR OWN idea but when it's clear someone else is cheating it doesn't go over well. especially if it's a repeat performance.

 

[Dick Madding]

I knew a guy who would whip out a calculator when the bill came. Calculated the amount owed to the penny.

Close, Bill. My wife carries the calculator. Before the waiter comes to take the order, I offer to pay by credit card and everyone pays me, or someone else can pay by card and I'll pay them. Have never dealt with more than one large table or a couple of small ones, 8-10 couples at most. We pay attention when the order is taken, and she calculates while I read off who had what when pay time comes. Needless to say, all our friends are real ones.

For business, if there is any question as to who pays what, I try to get that resolved before we get to the resturant.