Someone **** on the wall today at work.

poadeleted21

poadeleted21

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
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So, I get back from lunch today and have this in my inbox.

The men’s restroom near my desk is closed until further notice due to a biohazard situation that has to be cleaned.

Thank you,
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So, my coworker was the first responder to the crime scene. He said it looked like a fecal matter Jackson Pollock painting. Said it really was a "biohazard" and not just a typical corporate America overreaction to a non issue. Another witness concurred. It appears that the perp had dropped trou and was attempting to install an ass gasket but the geyser erupted before he could get it installed.

Not sure How this happens but, I'm impressed. We have no leads on who done it.
 
Ba ha ha ha

****ty situation
 
This reminds me of a story told to me by a Skywest pilot years ago - some new hire got drunk and proceeded to smear his s*** all over the walls of the hallway at his hotel - a Candlewood Suites in Salt Lake City. Pretty sure he was fired, but his legacy lives on!
 
Was at a summer camp during my teenage years, and we had communal showers. About 36 of them in the bath house. Stall dividers between them and a shower curtain for the opening into the shower stall. People were notorious for closing the curtain even when empty, so the procedure was to look for feet under the curtain.

Well, I was one of the stragglers one morning, and all of the stalls were occupied except one. Sweet, I'm in. Step into the stall, shut the shower curtain, and find out why it's open. There's half a turd on the floor, and unless the person who left it was ten foot tall and had tried to get it out by scraping his ass against the stall walls like a bear getting rid of an itch on a jack pine, they had picked it up and used it as a giant crayon to draw on the walls.

What color would crayola list that as?
 
EdFred said:
Was at a summer camp during my teenage years, and we had communal showers. About 36 of them in the bath house. Stall dividers between them and a shower curtain for the opening into the shower stall. People were notorious for closing the curtain even when empty, so the procedure was to look for feet under the curtain.

Well, I was one of the stragglers one morning, and all of the stalls were occupied except one. Sweet, I'm in. Step into the stall, shut the shower curtain, and find out why it's open. There's half a turd on the floor, and unless the person who left it was ten foot tall and had tried to get it out by scraping his ass against the stall walls like a bear getting rid of an itch on a jack pine, they had picked it up and used it as a giant crayon to draw on the walls.

What color would crayola list that as?
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OMG dude, I totally visualized all that while reading it... I hate you!

P.S. I hate you both and I need to go take a big **** now.
 
My buddies and I do BBQ contests. We usually rent a port-o-potty so we don't have to walk too far. The bad thing about it is sometimes you can't control who finds their way into it at 3am. One year I woke up about 5am, shuffled over, opened the door, and stopped. In some way, it was actually spectacular, I really didn't think what I saw could have come from a human. I closed the door and started hiking to the area where the public johns were set up. For the rest of the morning, I got to see the looks on the faces of other guys when they made the discovery.
 
Archammer said:
OMG dude, I totally visualized all that while reading it... I hate you!

P.S. I hate you both and I need to go take a big **** now.
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I may have a new design to put on a headset for ya.
 
kayoh190 said:
This reminds me of a story told to me by a Skywest pilot years ago - some new hire got drunk and proceeded to smear his s*** all over the walls of the hallway at his hotel - a Candlewood Suites in Salt Lake City. Pretty sure he was fired, but his legacy lives on!
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Ever heard the PSA "Phantom pooper" MEC call? :D
 
bartmc said:
So, I get back from lunch today and have this in my inbox.



So, my coworker was the first responder to the crime scene. He said it looked like a fecal matter Jackson Pollock painting. Said it really was a "biohazard" and not just a typical corporate America overreaction to a non issue. Another witness concurred. It appears that the perp had dropped trou and was attempting to install an ass gasket but the geyser erupted before he could get it installed.

Not sure How this happens but, I'm impressed. We have no leads on who done it.
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Thanks for the Laugh. I really needed one this AM.
 
Strange people....sadly my brother is a member of the poop bandit gang. He just ends up in odd **** situations all the time. About once a quarter he either ****s himself or ends up being very close.

More recently he called me to tell me he had been driving home and almost crapped himself. Realizing he was near an apartment he had moved out of two weeks ago, and he was in an urgent situation, drove to the apartment and tried his old key. It worked and the apartment was still vacant. He took care of business in the toilet and decided at teh same time that he would get some revenge on the landlord decided to grab a rag or something and smear half of the crap all over the bathroom wall. His apartment had already been inspected and cleared so he was off the hook.

Prior to that someone had stolen his ipod at work and he was very positive who it was. The guy suddenly had the same ipod and before he realized his ipod was gone, the thief spread the rumor that he had lost his ipod and was trying to blame it on him. The thief went a 30 days vacation midway through july and left his car parked at work. My brother said he got the door open with a coat hanger, took a poo in the drivers seat and used a rag to smear it all over the interior of the car.

It wasnt discovered until he returned in august. He walked outside one day and the police and biohazard team were surrounding the car.

It goes without saying that when he comes for a visit we always clear the rooms, look in the top water tank of each toilet and follow up behind him, everywhere he goes.
 
Anybody can pi$$ on the floor, be the hero and ***** on the ceiling.
 
We had an issue at the dealership with some one peeing on the floor next to the urinal. I don't mean a little splash or a little dribble, it was very obviously done on purpose. It took a week or so to determine exactly when it was happening, several days it happened after 6 or after 3:30 on Saturday, which would exclude service and parts employees and service customers. We narrowed it down to someone on a certain sales shift, but couldn't prove which guy it was out of 4.
I made an announcement in the sales meeting that if it didn't stop ALL salesmen would be restricted to using the shop bathroom only.:eek: If you've ever seen a mechanics bathroom, you'll understand the threat. It stopped, and a few weeks later the "reverend" that was our number one suspect left the company and we've had no further issues. :D
 
Whodathunk a poop thread could go for two full pages.

It's a good thing my wife isn't a mod here. She'd have deleted it, then Lysoled every thread on the forum.
 
Probably inadvertently installed his scrogard backwards.
 
Happened again today. Same stall, same mess with the ass gaskets. I believe we have a rogue ****ter on our hands.
 
My friend Jason pees on my shoes when he is at the urinal next to me.
 
Matthew said:
Is he facing you or the wall?
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Me
We are idiots and try to "out awkward" one another.

We happened to be in the men's room at the same time and he just faced directly at me and stared at me while he peed. It was awkward. Then I realized he was peeing on my shoes. He won that day.
 
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