As I'm getting older my risk tolerance is declining, particularly with relation to potential engine failures. More and more of my night flights and flights in the middle of nowhere with only forest below are me with an internal monologue of "An engine failure would really, really suck right now"... so much so that this stuff just isn't very fun in a single, and it's removing some of the joy of flying. I'm not sure that I can really afford to own or operate a twin right now, though that would certainly assuage some concerns. I didn't used to be such a scaredy cat, and it seems to be particularly surrounding an engine failure more than anything else.
Seems perfectly normal. I wasn't afraid of heights when I was a kid, and I thought it was kinda weird that my dad was. When we re-sided the house together when I was about 13, he was on the ground with the saw and I was on the scaffolding. Now, while I'm still OK being on a ladder 10 feet off the ground, I dislike anything that would result in a trip to the hospital or worse, and if I so much as look at a picture of certain things it turns my stomach. The more we live, the more we realize how much there is to live for.
Any recommendations on having healthy fear without it ruining it? Should I just STFU and press onward?
Well... Now that I'm working in aviation safety, I have learned that it is not at all the "stay on the ground if you want to be safe" approach that many PoAers think it is.
Basically, it's all about the loop: 1) Identify the risk (and its root causes), 2) Mitigate the risk, 3) Accept the remaining risk, 4) Fly. If the remaining risk in #3 is unacceptable, you go back to step 1 until it is either acceptable or you decide the mission isn't worth doing.
So, in your case, let's look at flying at night in your C180, with the main risk you're looking at here being the possibility of an engine failure leading to an early transition to the unalive.
I'm going to start the root cause analysis from that last bit. Why did you die? Plenty of possibilities, but I'll stick with two main ones:
- Hypothermia or other forms of exposure
- Blunt force trauma
Now... What would lead to one of those outcomes? I'm going to do this in an outline form starting with the above, and continue down the "why did x happen" path for every item. In addition, since none of it would have happened if the engine hadn't failed, let's add that to the mix as well:
- Hypothermia or other forms of exposure
- Insufficient survival gear
- Slow search and rescue response
- ELT or PLB not present or working
- Not on a flight plan
- Not speaking with ATC
- Crashing far from help or in a difficult-to-reach place
- Flew direct over unpopulated or inhospitable area
- Blunt force trauma or other injury
- Too much energy transferred to your body too quickly during the crash sequence
- Lost control of the airplane in the air (vertical energy transfer)
- Came to a sudden stop (horizontal energy transfer)
- Couldn't see well enough to find a large enough clear area to slow down
- Clear area not within glide range
- Engine failure (this is essentially a subitem of every single thing above)
- Fuel Exhaustion
- Induction blockage
- Carb ice
- Mechanical Failure
- Insufficient backup systems (aux fuel pumps, mags, etc)
- Insufficient maintenance
Now, how can we mitigate the above? (Using the same respective outline as above)
- Don't fly in the winter or over inhospitable terrain (* SEE BELOW. I'm not actually saying "Don't do this".)
- Carry relevant survival gear
- **
- Keep up with ELT battery requirements, and carry a PLB with a good battery
- File a flight plan - IFR if you're equipped and rated, VFR otherwise *
- Talk with ATC. This is pretty much a given on that IFR plan, but get flight following if you're VFR.
- Plan your route to stay relatively near airports, highways, or reasonably populated areas
- (Same)
- **
- **
- On a regular basis, get flight instruction in handling this sort of emergency, and practice it even more frequently. Same with stalls and other loss-of-control stuff.
- **
- Get yourself some bad-ass bright landing lights so you have more time to see where you're landing and avoid obstacles
- Cruise at a higher altitude so that you have more options and time.
- **
- Carry lots of extra fuel.
- **
- Ensure carb heat is working, AND either Study conditions along route of flight for susceptibility, AND/OR get an engine monitor with a carb temp probe and preferably an alarm in the danger zone.
- **
- Install backups as available
- Perform not only required regular maintenance but also proactive maintenance.
*
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS. You may recognize that essentially, all of the above are parts of the "accident chain" that we talk about. It's just that the chain isn't linear, it has many paths. As long as you mitigate the risk to the point where you stop each path from happening to the extent that it meets your personal risk tolerance, you're good. So, for example, if you DO want to fly in the cold, be sure to carry/wear sufficient winter survival gear, fly IFR with a PLB, and plan your flight in such a way that you'll be within easy enough reach of search and rescue resources.
** Some of these things are too general to be directly mitigated, or otherwise difficult to mitigate. So, perform mitigations elsewhere on that path in the chain.
Now, evaluate the risk that remains. Do you feel comfortable with the flight now? If not, take the things that you're still uncomfortable with and re-evaluate them. If you can't get to the point that you feel comfortable enough with the flight to make it worthwhile, then don't go.
To some extent, we all do this process intuitively on every flight. I don't sit here and do a risk analysis prior to hopping in my Mooney and blasting into the sky on a sunny VFR day. That's a level of risk that I am very comfortable with accepting.
It's the flights that make you uncomfortable where you've decided that things are too close to your risk tolerance for the day where it's worthwhile to go through this process. You'll either get to the point where you are comfortable with the flight, or you won't... And at that point, the decision is much easier.