Bob, I just re-read 5-7 thru 5-12 and I think you really covered it well! If I were to recommend anything, perhaps a short bit on "Flight Following" vs "Radar Services" vs "Traffic Advisories" to avoid any confusion. I know when I first heard the term "radar services" I did not immediately associate it with flight following or traffic advisories.
What I liked about all of the responses here is that it seems in busy areas the much shortened initial call of: "Approach Bugsmasher 12345 Request" might be mentioned and why. And then show the entire full request after the "Go head".
Regarding specifying type during the request, maybe 1 correct example of the aircraft type if provided. For example I would probably say "C182 slash uniform" because that's what I've been saying on VFR flight plans. However, maybe that should just be "CE182" (no equipment designator) which is what I recently entered into IACRA. Mainly, just provide one specific example since we don't have Air Traffic Control Handbook. Use a 172 or Archer or something really common.
Actually, I finished my PPL and had never used flight following. Maybe a single line indicating to ask your instructor to demonstrate it at least once during training.
I hope you didn't take it wrong, just following your book I would have enough info to make the call and get it right! But I have to admit that hearing the other variations (in this thread) and why does help in understanding the big picture and what other options might work better.