Need help hiding a body

Best way to dispose of a body is have something digest it. Pigs and lobsters/crabs are the champions in their respective environments.
 
Henning said:
Best way to dispose of a body is have something digest it. Pigs and lobsters/crabs are the champions in their respective environments.
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He's going to be in the Ozarks: look for a pig farmer and slip him a couple twenties.
 
Grab three or four of your buds, and go on a stag outing for the weekend. And haul the body around with you.

Nobody will notice, people tend to overlook the obvious.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Grab three or four of your buds, and go on a stag outing for the weekend. And haul the body around with you.

Nobody will notice, people tend to overlook the obvious.
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Matthew said:
He's going to be in the Ozarks: look for a pig farmer and slip him a couple twenties.
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All the farmers in the area in question who raise livestock raise chicken. Tyson country...you can smell it for miles in the heat of the summer.

Lots of unexplored caves in the region however. I can provide directions to a few that have sinkhole entrances. Easy drop off.
 
Have the body run for the republican nomination to be president, while Trump is running, no one will notice.
 
Wait, once u hide body will u seek body?
 
Welded and polished stainless steel box that serves as the base for a glass top coffee table, hide it right out in the open. I would pack a load of salt with the body to both act as the desiccant, and to keep the body from moving when shifted.
 
Not sure whether you're hauling the bo.... err ... cargo with you to the Ozarks or whether you will acquire it there.
But do not forget about home sweet home. Down here in Texas, it is as easy as just handing a few bucks to the local illegal imm..... errr ... undocumented workers and they will dispose of it for you.
Just make absolutely sure that you cook your own food for the next few days. Buying some carnitas or chorizo at a taco truck might not be a wise move.
If you do not speak Espanol, your backup plan would be nearest Panda Express. Their Tangerine Chicken is always top notch. And they make it taste like chicken too!
 
Henning said:
Best way to dispose of a body is have something digest it. Pigs and lobsters/crabs are the champions in their respective environments.
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Yep! I once watched a boar hog devour a rooster that was foolish enough to land in the pig pen. Rooster never touched down. Hog ate everything but the squawk. It was his hot meal for the day.
 
BigBadLou said:
Not sure whether you're hauling the bo.... err ... cargo with you to the Ozarks or whether you will acquire it there.
But do not forget about home sweet home. Down here in Texas, it is as easy as just handing a few bucks to the local illegal imm..... errr ... undocumented workers and they will dispose of it for you.
Just make absolutely sure that you cook your own food for the next few days. Buying some carnitas or chorizo at a taco truck might not be a wise move.
If you do not speak Espanol, your backup plan would be nearest Panda Express. Their Tangerine Chicken is always top notch. And they make it taste like chicken too!
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That is a recipe for prison right there. They'll take your money and the body, put it next to dumpster. Next thing you know the police are swabbing your sperm out of it.

If you can't do a job like this by yourself, it's best not to do it.
 
From the movie "Snatch":

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208092/?ref_=ttqt_qt_tt

(Recommneded for anyone who wants to see Brad Pitt with dialog that not even he can understand.)

>>>

Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a ****head. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Vinny: Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?

<<<
 
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:idea:I know where we can get hydrofluoric and sulfuric acid in large quantities. Does that help? Surely we can concoct something that will dissolve at least most of the Comanche pilot sized "object."
 
colojo said:
A good friend helps you move.

A GREAT friend helps you move a body.
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Always loved the quote.

We have a good neighborhood with some great neighbors. If my neighbor rings my doorbell at 3am and asks for a shovel, I don't just hand it to him. I grab two and help him dig. We have big backyards and live next to a ghetto with a lot of ... umm ... "individuals". Hence the shovel pact. ;)
 
1. Take body bag.
2. Write "Hillary Did It!" on it
3. Deposit anywhere.
4. Media will ignore.

Problem solved.
 
A couple years ago my neighbors were roasting a pig. I had to wander over to hang out and have a beer or three. I axed where they got it, they said they asked around and found a guy that sells them. So that morning they went over to pick it up. What they thought they would do is to pick up the carcass and bring it home. What they really ended up doing was going out to the pen where the guy asked them to point out which one they wanted - they pointed at one, he shot it in the head, and said, "There you go."

They gutted it, somewhere, then brought it home, laid it out on a tarp, and cut it apart with a chainsaw. The bloody chainsaw, bloody tarp, and bloody clothes made me say, "Wow, remind me not to **** you two off."
 
Speculating that the "object" closely fits the general make-up and build of the average American, it's better to use lye or some other caustic as that will dissolve fat much better than any acid.

That, or pigs...pigs work well too.
 
dans2992 said:
Place body in body bag. Fly far out over open water, ensure prevailing currents carry body away from land, engage autopilot, bombs away....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Too much research. tide tables, Offshore currents, prevailing winds...

Bodies decompose, create gas, bag floats.....

find a river. near the coast.

better to use a nylon net, nylon rope

make cement galoshes. :yikes:
 
44Gort said:
Too much research. tide tables, Offshore currents, prevailing winds...

Bodies decompose, create gas, bag floats.....

find a river. near the coast.

better to use a nylon net, nylon rope

make cement galoshes. :yikes:
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Not a chance I'd waste a body offshore, I can bait a dozen traps with someone Ed's size and turn him pound for pound into lobster.
 
How does lime work anyway?
Never understood that
 
Why do they put it on the ground before laying down a road
 
Matthew said:
From the movie "Snatch":


(Recommneded for anyone who wants to see Brad Pitt with dialog that not even he can understand.

<<<
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Excuse me, he was easy to understand especially when he talks about his Ma's dawg .

Love that movie...

He was pretty good at doing the ulster accent in "The Devils Own", almost too perfect.
 
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Take the body down to where they film the walking dead, dump it near the production and people will think it's either a prop or a very dedicated actor.

Or watch the first season of the Sopranos, you might learn something there.
 
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