NA - You have 1 hour to talk to your dog. What's the conversation?

I've been thinking about this a bit - ok, I'm slow.

Do you really understand our words or are you just reacting to the tone of our voice?

I know you can't be expected to hold it forever, but could we work out a clear system for you tell me when you need to go out? You don't have to poop in the dining room.

I love having you close to me, but if we're laying down, I don't want your butt in my face, ok? Just try to consider it.

When you got into that fight with the wolf/shepherd mix down the street, WTF WERE YOU THINKING?! You're like 1/10th his size. Nice job staying alive though.
 
bflynn said:
Do you really understand our words or are you just reacting to the tone of our voice?
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Our dog could pick the word "walk" out of a conversation - along with numerous others, like "treat", "Pupperoni", "mailbox", grankids' names, etc. We started spelling certain words around him.

He figured that out too. You could insert "w - a - l - k" into the middle of a conversation, or "m - a - i - l", and he'd come trotting in from the other room looking at you expectantly.

We could also tell him to go get one of his toys, by name. He knew them all.
 
steingar said:
What physical attributes distinguish one human from another?
What distinguishes a prey animal from a rival from one to be feared? How large does another animal need to be to be feared?
Why is it that your poo tastes so good?
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How do you know that your dog's poo tastes good?
 
When I toss you a pizza crust do you get a little annoyed that I ate the good part?
Do you even know there is a better part?
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Clearly POA is an animal loving bunch. Tonight I asked Eren. If I told you tomorrow for 1 hour, the dogs could understand and speak English, What is the conversation?

For me:
1. Why do you lick me?
2. Can you see in color?
3. Please understand that I love you but when you bite / scratch, All I have is bare skin and it hurts me and that's why I yell the F word.
4. What are your thoughts on the food we feed you?
5. Do you remember your parents and siblings?
6. Why do you seem so surprised when you break wind?

You have 1 hour tomorrow to visit with your dog (Or cat if you are a helicopter pilot). What's the conversation?
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1. Do you have any sense of time?
2. How do you sense someone is an A hole? Can you teach me that?
3. Why do you go nuts in the snow?
4. Why do you take longer to pee when it's raining?
 
Why did you crap on the carpet when the tile floor is 2 feet away?
 
Love it, but I’m going to have to think about this one for a minute. It’s hard not to get all sentimental cuz I love my puppers!
 
Me: Listen, when I tell you “Stay!” or “Come!” 9 times out of 10 it’s for your own safety. Would you please trust me on this?

Him: Uh huh. The last time you pointed to the truck and said “Load up!” you took me to the vet and had my balls cut off. Trust you?!

Me: Yeah, well, ummm,....
 
How did you know my neighbor on the right is a dick before meeting him and the family on the right are the friendliest people you’ll ever meet?

why do you bark and growl to meet people at the cabin or in the backseat of the car but everywhere (Home, walks, Park, doggy daycare, vet, etc) else you’re just a bouncy, smiling, tail wagging happy dog?

Why are you so picky about the exact spot where you drop a deuce?

Can you teach me to speak “dog” so we can have more than an hour and talk **** about all the stupid humans around us?
 
You’re almost 15 years old now, and you lost your sight suddenly 8 years ago. How much do you remember being able to see? Do you still think about it? Do your nose and sense of smell adequately compensate?

And now you are completely deaf and have been for over a year now. I wish you could let us know if that bothers you and how much.

You still seem excited to greet us every morning and when we get home from going out. You still wag your tail and do the whole playful bow thing, although your energy level is much lower than it used to be, and you sleep a lot. How is your quality of life? Do you still enjoy being a dog and being with us? Do you ever think about the old days when you were able to run and play? Do you miss it?

I love that you always seem to be able to find me wherever I am and like to be in the same room with me. It’s great to hear that weird bark you make every now and then. Boy, that sure has changed since you lost your hearing.

What do you really think about the cats? The 17 year old one sure seems to love you. Do you feel the same about her? It’s great to see how you and she spend so much time together. Two old ladies in your golden years.

I know it frustrates the other cat a bit because you can’t hear him asking you to let him in and out through the automatic doggy door like you used to. Did you ever realize that the reason we got that type of doggy door was so that he wouldn’t be able to get out? It was always funny to see you get up from wherever you were and go stand by the door so it would open whenever he would meow. You certainly helped him in his plans to go out catting around.

Do you ever think about our son who grew up with you and has moved to the East Coast for school. Do you wonder where he is? You sure seem excited on his rare visits home.

How did it feel when that skunk sprayed you a few months ago? There you were in the side yard, just doing your business, and wham. I know you didn’t see him or hear him, so I’m sure you missed all of his warning signs. What a smell you brought into the house that night! Not like the time you were a puppy and we were surrounded by three of them on the trail while walking. You were such a good dog then. Sat on command and didn’t bark or lunge. I was so proud of you that we were able to be calm and finally just walk past them.

I hope you know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. I hope you know that we will always take care of you.

b9a22f9c8263c677833f4b1217f0d307.jpg
 
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jimhorner said:
You’re almost 15 years old now, and you lost your sight suddenly 8 years ago. How much do you remember being able to see? Do you still think about it? Do your nose and sense of smell adequately compensate?

And now you are completely deaf and have been for over a year now. I wish you could let us know if that bothers you and how much.

You still seem excited to greet us every morning and when we get home from going out. You still wag your tail and do the whole playful bow thing, although your energy level is much lower than it used to be, and you sleep a lot. How is your quality of life? Do you still enjoy being a dog and being with us? Do you ever think about the old days when you were able to run and play? Do you miss it?

I love that you always seem to be able to find me wherever I am and like to be in the same room with me. It’s great to hear that weird bark you make every now and then. Boy, that sure has changed since you lost your hearing.

What do you really think about the cats? The 17 year old one sure seems to love you. Do you feel the same about her? It’s great to see how you and she spend so much time together. Two old ladies in your golden years.

I know it frustrates the other cat a bit because you can’t hear him asking you to let him in and out through the automatic doggy door like you used to. Did you ever realize that the reason we got that type of doggy door was so that he wouldn’t be able to get out? It was always funny to see you get up from wherever you were and go stand by the door so it would open whenever he would meow. You certainly helped him in his plans to go out catting around.

Do you ever think about our son who grew up with you and has moved to the East Coast for school. Do you wonder where he is? You sure seem excited on his rare visits home.

How did it feel when that skunk sprayed you a few months ago? There you were in the side yard, just doing your business, and wham. I know you didn’t see him or hear him, so you I’m sure you missed all of his warning signs. What a smell you brought into the house that night! Not like the time you were a puppy and we were surrounded by three of them on the trail while walking. You were such a good dog then. Sat on command and didn’t bark or lunge. I was so proud of you that we were able to be calm and finally just walk past them.

I hope you know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. I hope you know that we will always take care of you.

b9a22f9c8263c677833f4b1217f0d307.jpg
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You're killin' me, Nate. That was beautiful.
 
jimhorner said:
You’re almost 15 years old now, and you lost your sight suddenly 8 years ago. How much do you remember being able to see? Do you still think about it? Do your nose and sense of smell adequately compensate?

And now you are completely deaf and have been for over a year now. I wish you could let us know if that bothers you and how much.

You still seem excited to greet us every morning and when we get home from going out. You still wag your tail and do the whole playful bow thing, although your energy level is much lower than it used to be, and you sleep a lot. How is your quality of life? Do you still enjoy being a dog and being with us? Do you ever think about the old days when you were able to run and play? Do you miss it?

I love that you always seem to be able to find me wherever I am and like to be in the same room with me. It’s great to hear that weird bark you make every now and then. Boy, that sure has changed since you lost your hearing.

What do you really think about the cats? The 17 year old one sure seems to love you. Do you feel the same about her? It’s great to see how you and she spend so much time together. Two old ladies in your golden years.

I know it frustrates the other cat a bit because you can’t hear him asking you to let him in and out through the automatic doggy door like you used to. Did you ever realize that the reason we got that type of doggy door was so that he wouldn’t be able to get out? It was always funny to see you get up from wherever you were and go stand by the door so it would open whenever he would meow. You certainly helped him in his plans to go out catting around.

Do you ever think about our son who grew up with you and has moved to the East Coast for school. Do you wonder where he is? You sure seem excited on his rare visits home.

How did it feel when that skunk sprayed you a few months ago? There you were in the side yard, just doing your business, and wham. I know you didn’t see him or hear him, so I’m sure you missed all of his warning signs. What a smell you brought into the house that night! Not like the time you were a puppy and we were surrounded by three of them on the trail while walking. You were such a good dog then. Sat on command and didn’t bark or lunge. I was so proud of you that we were able to be calm and finally just walk past them.

I hope you know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. I hope you know that we will always take care of you.

b9a22f9c8263c677833f4b1217f0d307.jpg
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We have one of those in our house as well. If we weren't a continent apart and that ours is 12 rather than 15 years old, I would think they could be littermates.
HannahOnCouch1.jpg
 
jimhorner said:
You’re almost 15 years old now, and you lost your sight suddenly 8 years ago. How much do you remember being able to see? Do you still think about it? Do your nose and sense of smell adequately compensate?

And now you are completely deaf and have been for over a year now. I wish you could let us know if that bothers you and how much.

You still seem excited to greet us every morning and when we get home from going out. You still wag your tail and do the whole playful bow thing, although your energy level is much lower than it used to be, and you sleep a lot. How is your quality of life? Do you still enjoy being a dog and being with us? Do you ever think about the old days when you were able to run and play? Do you miss it?

I love that you always seem to be able to find me wherever I am and like to be in the same room with me. It’s great to hear that weird bark you make every now and then. Boy, that sure has changed since you lost your hearing.

What do you really think about the cats? The 17 year old one sure seems to love you. Do you feel the same about her? It’s great to see how you and she spend so much time together. Two old ladies in your golden years.

I know it frustrates the other cat a bit because you can’t hear him asking you to let him in and out through the automatic doggy door like you used to. Did you ever realize that the reason we got that type of doggy door was so that he wouldn’t be able to get out? It was always funny to see you get up from wherever you were and go stand by the door so it would open whenever he would meow. You certainly helped him in his plans to go out catting around.

Do you ever think about our son who grew up with you and has moved to the East Coast for school. Do you wonder where he is? You sure seem excited on his rare visits home.

How did it feel when that skunk sprayed you a few months ago? There you were in the side yard, just doing your business, and wham. I know you didn’t see him or hear him, so I’m sure you missed all of his warning signs. What a smell you brought into the house that night! Not like the time you were a puppy and we were surrounded by three of them on the trail while walking. You were such a good dog then. Sat on command and didn’t bark or lunge. I was so proud of you that we were able to be calm and finally just walk past them.

I hope you know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. I hope you know that we will always take care of you.

b9a22f9c8263c677833f4b1217f0d307.jpg
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Yup, exactly what I was talking about! Nicely put!
 
FormerHangie said:
She's getting cataracts and her hearing isn't what it used to be, but she can still see and hear.
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You’re lucky. Ours lost her sight at a relatively young age pretty much in a couple of days. Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome (SARDS). No known treatment. She still does okay getting around, although she bumps into things every now and then. Losing her hearing was tougher. When it was just her eyesight that was gone, she could still hear us. Now that’s gone as well. All she can do is smell, taste, and touch. Makes us sad if we allow ourselves to think about it. She does seem to still enjoy her life, though, and we make sure to give her lots of attention.
 
"Who do you think will win this election?"
 
I have never met a talking dog , but when I was a kid I knew a man who
had a dog that could do simple math.

MAN ... what is 3 plus 2
DOG ... bark bark bark bark bark

MAN ... what is 2 times 2
DOG ... bark bark bark bark

MAN ... what is 8 minus 6
DOG ... bark bark

I was both amazed and skeptical so every time they did a demonstration I watched for body
or hand gestures to figure out the trick. Nothing , the owner stood there like a statue

Then I decided he had maybe pre-trained the dog to do a series of barks that coincided with his questions.
So I blurted out .... what is 57 minus 54

DOG ... bark bark bark

Many years later I was told that the owner (who stood still like a statue) had trained his
dog to bark every time the man blinked

---------------

In a minute I have a true story of our family dog who had ESP
 
Our dog must have had ESP (Extra Sensory Perception)

My young brother Pete had a German Sheppard in the 1970's
Pete was the last kid in the family and when he moved out and got married he left the dog at home with dad

Dad was an old retired farmer and lived in town so the dog was good companionship for him

Dad rented out the farmland , it had a forest and a river and the dog absolutely loved it if someone took him out there for a day.

Trouble is nobody did except for one brother-in-law (Scott) who would take a country trip every couple of weeks or so.

A pattern began to emerge .... dad noticed the normally quiet (mostly sleeping) dog would get all excited and stand at dads front door whining with happy anticipation and a while later Scott would show up to take the dog to the farm.

It was always a topic of conversation among the family , we already knew it was a smart dog , and we attributed it to the keen ears of the dog who could hear Scott's truck coming several blocks away.

BUT NO .... that didn't explain it ... dad lived on a busy street , Scott had a new quiet running truck without any unique sounds or anything to differentiate it from all the other traffic. Besides , the dog would be sitting at the door 15 to 20 minutes before Scott was even on our street .... something else going on here.

So Scott and dad began comparing notes .... Scott lived on the other side of town and most of the time it was a spur of the moment decision to go to the farm .... so he would make note of the exact time ... and dad would make note of the exact time the dog got excited and waited at the door.

Turns out it was at the moment Scott decided to take a trip that dog knew it somehow. This pattern repeated itself for many years and I am a believer that dogs have a sixth sense that we are not aware of.
 
You need to start pulling your weight around here.
What days of the week can I count on you to go to work for me?
 
I have never had a conversation with a dog, but I do have foggy memories of a long time ago pilot party in Alaska. Somehow I ended up on the floor under the kitchen table and was talking to the cat. And the cat was talking back.....

I seem to recall the conversation was about dogs, and some guy named Pavlov whose dog trained him to come whenever the dog rang a bell.....

Like I said, it was a long time ago and that night is foggy to me.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Clearly POA is an animal loving bunch. Tonight I asked Eren. If I told you tomorrow for 1 hour, the dogs could understand and speak English, What is the conversation?

For me:
1. Why do you lick me?
2. Can you see in color?
3. Please understand that I love you but when you bite / scratch, All I have is bare skin and it hurts me and that's why I yell the F word.
4. What are your thoughts on the food we feed you?
5. Do you remember your parents and siblings?
6. Why do you seem so surprised when you break wind?

You have 1 hour tomorrow to visit with your dog (Or cat if you are a helicopter pilot). What's the conversation?
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What type of information do you get when you smell a turd on the sidewalk?
 
How is it that you can pick up a scent on the ground from a critter you haven't seen and be able to tell which direction he went?
 
jimhorner said:
You’re lucky. Ours lost her sight at a relatively young age pretty much in a couple of days. Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome (SARDS). No known treatment. She still does okay getting around, although she bumps into things every now and then. Losing her hearing was tougher. When it was just her eyesight that was gone, she could still hear us. Now that’s gone as well. All she can do is smell, taste, and touch. Makes us sad if we allow ourselves to think about it. She does seem to still enjoy her life, though, and we make sure to give her lots of attention.
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Dogs don't need much to be happy, and they don't seem to care about what they no longer have. As long as they get a comfortable place to sleep, some decent food, and are with their family, that's all they need. We humans could take a lesson from them.

Ours is about 18 inches at the shoulder, and when she was young, she was really good on her back legs. No food was safe if it was within six inches of the edge of the counter. One time while I was eating lunch, my daughter had her outside, and when she came back in, the dog trotted in, got up on her hind legs, and grabbed something off of my plate. Not something that you want to have happen too often, but it was too funny for me to get after her too much. She's always been quite the chowhound, at least when it comes to people food. All of her adult life she weighed 36 or 37 pounds, but at her last vet visit, she was down to 34 pounds. I've started making ground beef and rice for her, I fill her bowl about two thirds with kibble,and the rest with about two thirds of a cup of beef and rice. She eats the entire contents of the bowl now and looks like she's filling out a bit, and she seems more energetic as well.

My sister had a large pit bull that lived to be 15. The last few years of his life he ate mostly raw meat. My sister tells me that he would eat his fill of raw meat and stop, but if you gave him cooked meat he'd eat himself sick.
 
Most store bought dog food is grain based.

Our family has always liked oatmeal porridge for breakfast and whoever gets out of bed first makes a large pot.

The leftover goes to the dog .... they like it just fine but we also mix in leftover roast beef drippings and any trimmed fat from cooked steaks , or leftover scraps of chicken or fish or whatever. Dogs absolutely love it.

Drives me bananas when I see some families throw huge portions of (expensive) leftover meat straight into the garbage and then drive to the store to buy dog food.

.
 
Pilawt said:
A conversation with a dog would be one thing. But I have no interest in a conversation with our cat. I don't have any desire to be talked down to.
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I see a conversation with a cat would be like talking to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. You know you're gonna be judged.
 
"When friends come over and you smell their crotch, what do you learn?"
 
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