My Girlfriend is Ruining My Life

AirDC

AirDC

Pre-takeoff checklist
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
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Washington, DC
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Display name:
Andrew
We were supposed to leave on Saturday from DC for an amazing trip down to the bahamas for 8-10 days in the club 172. It was going to be my first flight longer than 3 hours and my first time island hopping around some really amazing islands. I had put in countless hours of research planning and even though I didn't book hotels yet (so I could stay somewhat flexible), still poured in hundreds of dollars for customs and equipment (albeit the trip would have costed around $4k for just flight time + hotels)

Two evenings ago, on my way back from vail/denver for skiing/work she calls me and tells me that her boss said she wasn't allowed to take off work next week. I don't think she ever officially asked until two weeks ago and had to wait until tuesday to find out for sure. This is the 4th time this has happened this year.

Mother F'er

She has crushed my hopes and dreams of skimming over clear, turquoise waters while the sun washes over my face. Instead, i'll be stuck in gray, cold, boring DC looking for a cure to my temporary depression (alcohol).
 
Dude.

Go without her.

Have a great time.

Seriously, if you had put all this effort into planning this, and she didn't bother to ensure she'd be free, then she's not the one for you.

On the flip side, if you didn't tell her how important this is to you and give her plenty of notice, then it's your fault.

So, I don't know how old you are, but it sure seems that you two aren't yet communicating about what really matters to you.
 
Plenty of women down in the Bahamas....
 
Are you sure she wants to fly with you? Not being a smart*ss, but some people are passive/aggressive with this stuff, and this may be her way of telling you she is either scared, or just not into it.

Especially for non-pilots, flying over open ocean, out of the site of land can be an intimidating thought. Heck, even many pilots would think twice.
 
I think we are both a bit to blame. We came up with the idea several weeks ago but nothing was cemented because we are VFR and didn't want to book hotel rooms for certain dates. I told her it was weather dependant but the plane was booked and we would definately be flying to Florida, and probably the bahamas.

She had to cancel our last two vacations (I went on one alone) because she didn't have enough leave left. When I brought up this idea, she said that she could definately go and would have the leave by then. Apparently, she was on some kind of probation for going into negative leave from our last trip, and wasn't able to put in her leave request until a couple weeks ago. She thought they would have approved it, but apparently there is some dispute and they told her no. It's a complicated situation that I don't really understand but am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, it is also our 1-year anniversary on NYE and I think it would be a d*ck move to go without her or bring someone else.
 
Anthony said:
Are you sure she wants to fly with you? Not being a smart*ss, but some people are passive/aggressive with this stuff, and this may be her way of telling you she is either scared, or just not into it.

Especially for non-pilots, flying over open ocean, out of the site of land can be an intimidating thought. Heck, even many pilots would think twice.
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That is a valid point. She says she loves to fly and wants to go with me at every opportunity, even though she was originally scared over water. We flew to Nantucket a couple months ago and the portion from NJ to Nantucket we were over much more water than we would have been on this trip.
 
My wife pulls the same stunt, usually on the day of departure. She needs
"just another 90 minutes," again & again & again. She has "90-minute'd" departure into late the next day.

Now; if she's not ready within a reasonable period, I simply go without her.
Harsh? Yes.
 
Oh, c'mon. Even a new pilot knows that nobody else's feelings matter!
 
why don't you at least take a weekend and go down to Florida.

have her call in sick on monday. Just don't do it from a phone with a fl area code
 
rainsux said:
My wife pulls the same stunt, usually on the day of departure. She needs
"just another 90 minutes," again & again & again. She has "90-minute'd" departure into late the next day.

Now; if she's not ready within a reasonable period, I simply go without her.
Harsh? Yes.
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Who says 90 minutes? Is that her way of trying to make an hour and a half sound shorter than it really is.
 
Well, you are in the No-Breakup zone (Thanksgiving to Valentine's). Given your additional information, I'd bag the trip, and see if you could do something else fun - like fly up to NY for the holidays, or Nantucket.

Please tell me you didn't take the shark route (V268 or V44) from NJ to ACK in a single....
 
Can you re-schedule AFTER she confirms dates for the time off? Give that a shot, but make it clear that you'll go with a buddy (not another woman!) or alone should she cancel again.
 
AirDC said:
She had to cancel our last two vacations
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In the words of Goldfinger from the James Bond thriller - "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time, it's enemy action."

Go on vacation, and get a new girlfriend.
 
TMetzinger said:
Well, you are in the No-Breakup zone (Thanksgiving to Valentine's).
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Hang on - we just got finished telling the son of a friend of mine that this IS the prime breakup time. Make up after Valentine's, that way you aren't stuck having to buy presents all the time.
 
It is the prime time for breakups if you don't mind being considered a cheap asshat.

Seriously, as crazy and stressful as the holidays seem to be, I try to avoid making serious decisions (like relationships) until Mid January at the earliest.
 
airguy said:
In the words of Goldfinger from the James Bond thriller - "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time, it's enemy action."

Go on vacation, and get a new girlfriend.
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Some of us have very demanding jobs, and when you take ownership of projects, accounts, clients, or whatever, sometimes our personal lives take a back seat. It's just the reality of today's world.

Is your GF military? You talk about "leave". The military can be very strict with this stuff.
 
they never forget

I started seeing a girl in early january and I managed to keep things in the "not really dating" zone until after valentines.

She still ******* at me for that.
 
To further complicate things she 1) works in intelligence at the FBI so she can't really like about where she is 2) she lives on the same floor as me in my apartment building.

Looks like we are just going to find something to do on new years weekend and i'll make her pay for it.

And Tim - didn't quite take the shark route to nantucket b/c i was VFR at 7500/8500 but wasn't too far off.
 
Good to know. I don't mind flying a little off shore in a single but not out of gliding distance for more than a few minutes.

Tell her a former DEA-er snickered when you used "FBI" and "intelligence" in the same sentence.

And I hope you both have a happy holliday!
 
I did actually think about that before I posted...but I don't think she knows about the joys of aviation forums yet. She'll probably find it buried in the archives five years from now and hold it against me.
 
AirDC said:
I did actually think about that before I posted...but I don't think she knows about the joys of aviation forums yet. She'll probably find it buried in the archives five years from now and hold it against me.
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Even Intelligence knows about GOOGLE. And seconds after you post here, it knows about it which means she probably knows too.
In aviation, it is good to remain flexible. I've had trips canceled numerous times because the pax bailed out, sometimes while I was in the air to their local airport. Think about it as a good training experience and next time will be easier.
 
rainsux said:
My wife pulls the same stunt, usually on the day of departure. She needs
"just another 90 minutes," again & again & again. She has "90-minute'd" departure into late the next day.

Now; if she's not ready within a reasonable period, I simply go without her.
Harsh? Yes.
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You're not planning on being married very long then?
 
AirDC said:
My Girlfriend is Ruining My Life
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And that makes you different than all the rest of us, how?

Get used to it, it doesn't get any better. :wink2:

Women, like boats and planes, are far cheaper to rent than to own...and a lot less hassle too!

:goofy:
 
silver-eagle said:
the pax bailed out, sometimes while I was in the air to their local airport.
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If they were in the plane with you, hopefully they had a parachute.

I was remaining flexible - giving myself 2-3 days to get down there and 2-3 day window to get back (for a 7 hour trip). I didn't book hotel rooms yet for this reason, although i did buy the 2011 and 2012 customs decals to allow for flexibility on return date.

The plane is in perfect working order and the weather looks to be great on Saturday, the girlfriend issue caught me blindsided.
 
FBI? Does your GF carry a gun? If so, any recommendations should be made with that in mind. :D
 
Anthony said:
FBI? Does your GF carry a gun? If so, any recommendations should be made with that in mind. :D
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Hmmm..

The FBI probably issues the 10,000$ wizbang 9 MM gold plated handguns to all its agents..:yesnod::yesnod::yesnod:..

Due to budget cuts they could not afford the ammo for it so he is safe.... :)
 
Well, you know who usually wins when a girlfriend or wife tells a pilot to choose between her and an airplane...
 
write-stuff said:
Well, you know who usually wins when a girlfriend or wife tells a pilot to choose between her and an airplane...
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Yup... My EX tried that........ She is long gone and the plane is still in my hangar.:yesnod::yesnod::yesnod::yesnod::):):rolleyes:
 
airguy said:
In the words of Goldfinger from the James Bond thriller - "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time, it's enemy action."
Click to expand...
Texas Aggie version: "The first time, it could be an honest mistake. The second time, it's now a tradition!"
 
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