Lost a buddy today

Matthew

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Apr 18, 2005
Messages
19,106
Location
kojc, kixd, k34
Display Name

Display name:
Matthew
A guy I've worked with for over 20 years died this morning, he was early 50's.

He had a lifetime of medical problems, most of it was not self-inflicted like happens to so many of us. We were talking a few years ago and he said, "I just passed the age where I am now the longest living male member of my family for the last (however many) generations."

He figured, from that day on, that every day was a bonus and he always kept a good attitude because of that.

I don't need any sympathy, mainly because he didn't expect any. I figured I'd pass along one particular guy's version of "live each day like it might be your last." He was a good guy, and I'm glad I knew him.
 
Sorry to hear. I work with a couple of guys who had parents die in their early 50s of natural causes. They both have talked about inheriting the same medical problems. In my job I see patients at a younger than normal age struggling with the same problems. We’d all would like to believe that we’ll live at least to the average lifespan. For some, it’s just not in the cards. All we can do is make the best of what time on the planet that we have. Sounds like your friend did that.
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear. I work with a couple of guys who had parents die in their early 50s of natural causes. They both have talked about inheriting the same medical problems. In my job I see patients at a younger than normal age struggling with the same problems. We’d all would like to believe that we’ll live at least to the average lifespan. For some, it’s just not in the cards. All we can do is make the best of what time on the planet that you have. Sounds like your friend did that.
Yeah, he didn't inherit good genes. But he knew it, knew what to expect, and did the best he could with that knowledge. There's a lot to learn from someone like that.
 
Yeah, he didn't inherit good genes. But he knew it, knew what to expect, and did the best he could with that knowledge. There's a lot to learn from someone like that.
Absolutely. Some things are just unavoidable when folks get dealt a bad hand.

Sorry to hear!
 
Sorry to hear, Matt. It's always hard to lose a friend.

A high school friend died about a month or so ago. He was a genetic trainwreck as I called him - born with heart defects requiring his valves to get replaced multiple times, and then ended up getting cancer in college. It went in remission for a while and came back about the time I moved here. When he left his job in Albuquerque to go home to New York for better cancer treatment, I knew it would be a one way trip. Actually you probably met him, he was at my bonfire last year.

Like your friend he knew his health state and it was no secret that he wasn't likely to live to retirement age. He had a great attitude and tried to pack in as much as he could into the years that he had on this earth including fulfilling his career goals of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. I think he did really well.
 
Sad to hear. It must be hard on the family right now.

My dad and 2 of his brothers died in their 60s of heart related problems. One uncle that smoked and drank all his life lived to 83 and died as a result of injuries suffered in a car crash 6 months earlier. I have several first cousins that have died from heart problems in their 50s and 60s.

One cousin and myself seem to not have inherited the heart disease that runs in the family. My cardiologist keeps telling me I have arteries of a 25 year old.

I am striving to make at least 76, because I promised my lovely wife that I would give her 25 years of marriage.

On the other side my mom is 87 and will probably outlive me at the rate she is going.
 
An hour ago I was going to make a snarky comment on this thread to lighten the mood. Ten minutes ago I got the call that a younger friend, uber healthy by any standard, perfectly fine at our happy hour get together on Friday, had a mini- stroke this weekend. All is well, but Carpe Diem, beyotches!
 
I figured I'd pass along one particular guy's version of "live each day like it might be your last."
I lost 7 friends within my inner circle back in my mid-20s between aircraft, motorcycle, and car wrecks--3 in one year. I quit going to funerals after that unless it was "required." But it did drive deep to live each day as your last. And coming from a family history of heart disease, I, along with my mom and brother, have been blessed with the "good genes" which gave me a bit more luck in life. It also made me get rid of the "what if's" in life--either do it, or quit worrying about it. But most importantly, those losses so many years ago drove me to retire early and enjoy each day thereafter. I commend your buddy's outlook and wish I had known him too. RIP.
 
Sad to hear. It must be hard on the family right now.

My dad and 2 of his brothers died in their 60s of heart related problems. One uncle that smoked and drank all his life lived to 83 and died as a result of injuries suffered in a car crash 6 months earlier. I have several first cousins that have died from heart problems in their 50s and 60s.

One cousin and myself seem to not have inherited the heart disease that runs in the family. My cardiologist keeps telling me I have arteries of a 25 year old.

I am striving to make at least 76, because I promised my lovely wife that I would give her 25 years of marriage.

On the other side my mom is 87 and will probably outlive me at the rate she is going.

Just don't turn your back on her after the anniversary. Make sure she wants 26 or more years of wedded bliss. ;)
 
Sorry to hear, Matt. It's always hard to lose a friend.

A high school friend died about a month or so ago. He was a genetic trainwreck as I called him - born with heart defects requiring his valves to get replaced multiple times, and then ended up getting cancer in college. It went in remission for a while and came back about the time I moved here. When he left his job in Albuquerque to go home to New York for better cancer treatment, I knew it would be a one way trip. Actually you probably met him, he was at my bonfire last year.

Like your friend he knew his health state and it was no secret that he wasn't likely to live to retirement age. He had a great attitude and tried to pack in as much as he could into the years that he had on this earth including fulfilling his career goals of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. I think he did really well.

I do remember him.

I was chatting with our vet one day, asking him how our cat would react after losing the sight in one eye. He said, "Animals aren't like people. They don't sit around and feel sorry for themselves, they just get on with living life."

Not all people sit around and feel sorry for themselves, they get on with living. Like the line from Shawshank Redemption, "You can get busy living, or get busy dying." Both these guys got busy living.
 
don't need any sympathy, mainly because he didn't expect any. I figured I'd pass along one particular guy's version of "live each day like it might be your last." He was a good guy, and I'm glad I knew him.

"live each day like it might be your last."
I believe losing a friend with that kind of mindset is a sad loss, no sympathy as you requested but I hope you accept my condolences.
Tom
 
Both of my parents lived into their mid nineties, so I won't worry about mortality for a while...
 
My father and grandfathers all suffered from heart disease and died too young because of it. I try to get regular exercise and watch my weight. At every y physical my dr tells me I have the blood work of a teenager. At 64 I think I’m doing OK and am keeping my fingers crossed!
 
Sounds like you guys were lucky to know each other.

Guy was 50 and had to spend 20 of them with Matthew. Dude was cursed.

(I say that in the spirit of a story I read yesterday about Robin Williams showing up in Christopher Reeves' hospital room. Suffering from major depression and it was the first time he'd laughed since the accident and later said that he knew if he could laugh then that he could make it.)

All of our days are numbered. One thing I can say is that I enjoy coming here and most days get something positive from you ne'er-do-wells.
 
That is sad. I'm the second oldest male of my generation, but my father [luckily, I hope, for me] lived to be the oldest in many centuries.
 
Guy was 50 and had to spend 20 of them with Matthew. Dude was cursed.

(I say that in the spirit of a story I read yesterday about Robin Williams showing up in Christopher Reeves' hospital room. Suffering from major depression and it was the first time he'd laughed since the accident and later said that he knew if he could laugh then that he could make it.)

All of our days are numbered. One thing I can say is that I enjoy coming here and most days get something positive from you ne'er-do-wells.

Whenever I read a story like that about Robin Williams, it reminds me of how he always took his struggle with depression, empathized with others, and did everything he could to brighten their days.
 
Everyday I wake up and have good health, I am thankful. It is not a given, and many people suffer through the many curveballs that can be thrown at us. It is all about how we approach those curveballs. You can let it take you down, or take it down with you. Sorry about your friend.
 
Back
Top