Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

A woman goes on a long-awaited vacation and leaves her beloved cat with her brother and his family. While on vacation, she calls to say hello and see how the cat is doing.
Her brother says, "She died."
She hung up in shock. Later after she had composed herself she called him back.
What a terrible way to drop that news! You could have eased into it. Like, "The cat's stuck on the roof. We got the Fire Department to get it down, but their were medical complications. We took her to the vet, but nothing could be done." Not just, "She died!"
Her brother acknowledged that he could have been more understanding and was very sorry.
Then she asked,"By the way, how's Mom?"
"Ahhhh... She's stuck on the roof."
 
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It's said that the two best days in a pilots life are when he buys a plane and when he gets a divorce because his wife said "It's either me or the plane."

I’ve always heard that one as “buys a plane, and sells the plane”. LOL
 
Bob Hoover was walking down the beach one day and tripped over something. He picked it off the sand and saw that it was some sort of lamp. He brushed the sand off of it and *poof* a genie appears.
The genie said, "Bob, you get one wish. What wish would you like me to grant you?"
Bob thought real hard and said, "I want the world to be at peace. No more wars. No more prejudice. Peace and love everywhere."
The genie said, "Are you kidding me? That's impossible. Think of something else."
So Bob thought some more and said, "Ok, I would like flying to be affordable for everyone."
The genie quickly said, "Now what was that first wish again?"
 
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