Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Daniel L said:
what's this doing in a joke thread?

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It's making me laugh. Like most well-constructed humor, it starts with a premise, factual or fictitious as it's not important in humor, and then delivers a punchline from an unexpected direction that is amusing and, because the intention is to amuse and not offend, no one takes it seriously. My wife thought it was funny, too.

I'm surprised to read your indignant response, especially after reading your rant about the, in your written words, "stupid young girl pilot." THAT wasn't funny, you were wrong, and it had nothing to do with that thread. THAT needed a "What is this doing in this thread?" comment, not this harmless joke, offensive only to those whose hobby is taking offense.
 
MuseChaser said:
It's making me laugh. Like most well-constructed humor, it starts with a premise, factual or fictitious as it's not important in humor, and then delivers a punchline from an unexpected direction that is amusing and, because the intention is to amuse and not offend, no one takes it seriously. My wife thought it was funny, too.

I'm surprised to read your indignant response, especially after reading your rant about the, in your written words, "stupid young girl pilot." THAT wasn't funny, you were wrong, and it had nothing to do with that thread. THAT needed a "What is this doing in this thread?" comment, not this harmless joke, offensive only to those whose hobby is taking offense.
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I didn't see that as an indignant response but rather a tongue-in-cheek reply that the post doesn't belong in a humor thread since it's a factual statement.
 
deonb said:
I didn't see that as an indignant response but rather a tongue-in-cheek reply that the post doesn't belong in a humor thread since it's a factual statement.
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That's what I thought too, but you just have to know that no matter what you say, someone is going to take it the wrong way.
 
deonb said:
I didn't see that as an indignant response but rather a tongue-in-cheek reply that the post doesn't belong in a humor thread since it's a factual statement.
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If that's the way it was meant, then I truly apologize for taking it the wrong way. I hope you both are right, and that I was wrong.. I'd rather feel sheepish (as I'm used to it) than know that such a harmless joke could bother anyone.
 
Every week, Manny entered the state lottery hoping to win; he never did.
Finally, he prayed vigorously and, hoping for God's message, he walked around the local fairground.
A flash of lightning struck as he was passing by Nadine's carnival stall.
She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties.
He could see the number 7 tattooed on each of her butt cheeks.
He bet on 77, as he thought God had given him a sign.
Sadly, he lost again.
The winning number was 707.
Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of *******s in your life.
 
Years ago, I used to play a gig where I doubled on alto saxophone, violin, and baritone violin. It was out of town so I got home very late each night and the gig ran five nights a week for a month. Fortunately, my wife was OK with it, and I promised not to wake her when I got home.
I'd get in about 3:30am, leave the lights off, and, since I usually stored my instruments in a room off the bedroom, I'd instead just put them on top of the huge console TV we used to have.
Each morning she'd get up before I did. For the first week or so, everything was fine, but during the second week I could here her increasingly bashing pans around in the kitchen, muttering under her breath, and in general really descending into a increasingly foul mood as the days went by. I kept asking her if she wanted me to take a few days off, or send in a sub, or something, but ahe'd just say no, that she was fine.
During the third week, it got so bad I couldn't take it anymore, and cornered her, insisting she tell me what was wrong. She finally broke down and screamed...






"THERE'S TOO MUCH SAX AND VIOLINS ON THE TV!!!"
 
warning-signs-09.jpg
 
Money has been a little tight so I decided to take a temporary job. I sent a resume in to a large company here, and a few days later I was called in for an interview.

I was called into the HR department and waited anxiously as the HR director read my resume.

I was very excited when the HR director looked up and said that this was a exemplary resume. He then told me he had the perfect opening for a person like me.

''Great'' I said excitedly....''What is it.??''

"It's called the door''.....
 
rpadula said:
My wife was looking in the mirror yesterday and she commented "I look fat". I didnt say a word. She said "can't you give me a compliment?". I said "you have excellent eye sight"
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At least you didn't say....''You sure don't sweat much for a fat girl...''
 
Hawker800 said:
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This is funny to me because when I was living in Fairbanks an older 737 showed up in the dead plane storage. The doors were left open. Outside temps were in the -50f. It sat for a month, then was pulled into a hanger and cleaned up. Apparently it had a bug problem.
 
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