Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC , PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS.​

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.​

That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.​
 
Jimmy "Two Shoes" McGuffin was arrested today after he confess to killing a cow in a pasture using two small porcelain figures.

Police spokesmen said that this was the first known case of a knick nack paddy whack.
 
Our top story tonight.... Rudolph the Reindeer is dead at at age 53.

While flying over Barcelona airport, he swerved abruptly to avoid hitting a flock of seagulls and was stuck and killed by an Airbus A380.

Eyewitnesses report that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
 
Rudolph Bolschakova, a well-known communist weather expert in the Eastern Block, was going over some prognostic charts with one of his cute young interns. She opined that a specific occluded front looked like it might be fairly benign, but Rudolph disagreed, firmly telling her in no uncertain terms that there would be heavy precipitation in that area. When she asked him how he could be so certain, he replied,

"Trust me... Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
Not sure if you’re ready for a cat?
Place a box of **** in the corner, throw a handful of cat litter all over the floor, and rub cat hair and saliva all over your best furniture. Knock your favorite glass objects onto the floor and smash them. If you’re good with that, you’re ready for a cat.


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I love cats.

But that was funny!
 
Like the comma, it's amazing how a colon can drastically change the meaning of a sentence. For example...
This weekend I went flying and ate a sandwich for lunch. vs
This weekend I went flying and ate a colon for lunch.
 
1RTK1 said:
If you have a good pair of those you never have to worry or buy any drinks.
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Always reminds me of a conversation with my kid:
Kid: When you buy a pair of socks, how many do you get?
Me: 2
Kid: When you buy a pair of shoes, how many do you get?
Me: 2
Kid: When you buy a pair of pants, how many do you get?
Me: 1
Kid: Why?
Me: I guess because the pants have two legs.
Kid: Then why don't women buy a pair of bras?
 
Crashnburn said:
Some of my favorite political jokes:
AOC, Joe Biden, John McPain, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, AlGore, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, 'Beto' O'Rourke, James Comey, Jerry Nadler, Robert Meuller, Andrew Weismann, Elizabeth Warren. etc., etc., etc!
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Cap'n Jack said:
Combined, they don't come close to providing the same humor as the current joke in the White House.
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Crashnburn said:
You're a few years too late. The real joke was in the White House just before President Trump.
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Remember the previous warning not to use the joke thread for political debate.

Tarheelpilot said:
So tiring.
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True.
 
Yay, @Lycosaurus to the rescue!
Hey if anyone thirsts for more, and often pilot-related - there is a multi-year, 500page thread on Beechtalk called Jokes - Master Thread.
 
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