Keep me from dying

My hazardous attitudes have ended me up in several quite scary situations that somehow I've survived. I know if I keep on going I will end up 6 feet under, but I honestly dont know how to change. It's very hard to do. After all of these situations I think "Wow I should have never been in that situation" and think Ill be more careful next time but it never happens.
Can you give us an example or two? Close calls aren't a foreign topic to any experienced pilot, but if it's self-destructive tendencies driving your thought processes, that's when you should consider getting help.
 
You did not gave details of events or your thought process about why you think of yourself in such way, that would have been helpful.
When I started flight training near Fort Wayne IN in 2002 we had couple of high profile GA accidents in the area and it scared the hell out of me. I almost thought about quitting the training. But I continued and after I got my ticket I started out with extreme caution and I still play big chicken every time there is bad weather. Difference is in the past I did not go but now I launch fully prepared to spend night somewhere other than my destination and always have a way out. Now I refuse to cancel flight jus because there is chance of icing or possibility of TS. But I still have knot in my stomach when I launch. I guess that fear keeps me alive.
One more thing I did when I got really scared of GA was I started reading accident reports on NTSB website especially type of plane I flew, and there are plenty of them. I learned a lot and for some reason it had calming effect on me by knowing what got them into trouble and somehow helped me avoid those situations.
 
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