Keep me from dying

A

Anon

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I have a serious aviation problem and I know I can admit that. The issue is changing it. I know I'm Macho/invulnerable but quite frankly the FAA's suggestions of how to fix that don't do a damn thing. I find myself often dismissing things that could potentially be problems as "oh surely the Wx will clear up" or "Eh the plane's fine, don't worry about it" and I dont know how to stop. I've tried, it's really not as easy as "be more cautious". And for some reason I always feel like I'm in a rush when flying even when I'm not.

My hazardous attitudes have ended me up in several quite scary situations that somehow I've survived. I know if I keep on going I will end up 6 feet under, but I honestly dont know how to change. It's very hard to do. After all of these situations I think "Wow I should have never been in that situation" and think Ill be more careful next time but it never happens.

Help?
 
Changing at that level personally involves three things: Awareness, Acceptance and Action. You've gotten to Awareness. Next is Acceptance. That doesn't mean you're happy about where you are, it means you take it into account. Perhaps that means giving another pilot the keys to your airplane and having to get his or her permission before you go fly. (Just a thought.) Whatever it means for you. As long as you keep doing what you're doing (other than reflecting on it afterward, you have not made it to acceptance. Next is Action. Change, by your own choice, 1 thing that you don't like about how you fly. Based on what you posted maybe the "rushed" part is a good place to start.
 
Do you have the same approach to others things in life? Driving, perhaps?
 
I don't know if you can really prevent hazardous attitudes like yours without a result (accident) of that attitude occurring. I've instructed with many students in the Army that I thought had the machoism trait but there's really nothing I could do except tell them about my own experiences and show crash videos of poor CRM. Professional training helps, but there's no cure all for someone who flys with ignorance to the hazards of flight. You either live and learn, or aviation will have a way of eliminating the problem on it's own.

 
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You have to find a way to change your mindset, thought process, and decision making obviously. I'm not a professional health care person nor trying to give you advice, but perhaps going for counseling would help, I don't know, not my area.

I had one student years ago who greatly concerned me. He was a self made millionaire and didn't always like someone telling him how he should operate. He did pass his PPC check ride, and last I heard, has had 3-4 incidents which resulted in damaged airplanes (a Maule & a Skybolt) and once scaring the crap out of his wife and kids when he ran out of fuel in the Maule. Fortunately he figured out how to switch tanks and the engine got going again. He bought the Maule right after he got his PPC and I started training him in it, 14 hours & not making any progress, and he got po'd one day and I never flew with him again. Wasn't long after that when he ground looped trying to land on one of my friends very short grass runway without permission.

So, good luck man, but you're either going to have to find a way to change your thought process before you kill innocent people and/or yourself, or give up flying. There is no middle ground.

Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect.
 
I'd say wait till you have a close call and that'll probably fix you way of thinking, but if as you say you've already had a few close ones and you still think and act the same way, I really don't know what to say?
 
Regarding driving: I habitually speed but never more than 9mph over. Beyond that no risks and am very cautious in adverse weather.

Age: late 20's

Regarding troll: I feel like you would yell "troll" at your own mother.

I like the idea of taking it one step at a time, maybe slowing down in general would help my decision making process? Maybe that's the root cause that I feel rushed?

In all of these situations I get myself in I dismiss all of the signs that say stop. I need to stop dismissing them but I'm not sure how.
 
If you have a reckless behavior by default and act foolishly, there isn't really anything that somebody here can say to change your ways.

You have to come to the conclusion on your own.
 
This thread reminds me of the guy who asked what he needed to do to be able to get a negative result for cannabis on his drug screen.
 
So, you know (intellectually) when you're doing something questionable, so you're not stupid. It's just that, emotionally, you seem to displike the implication that you're being "chicken."

Try, when you encounter one of these situations, asking yoursel, "If I crashed while doing this, will it look stupid?" Then, in response to the answer, behave accordingly.
 
You can't buy brains. If what you say is true it will be up to the rest of the world to keep you in check. You may never change, and that presents a liability to everyone else. I would like to personally extend my deepest gratitude to anyone that has to deal with you, especially in the air.
 
FORANE said:
This thread reminds me of the guy who asked what he needed to do to be able to get a negative result for cannabis on his drug screen.
Click to expand...

It reminded me of the guy who asked if we thought it was OK to give ATC a fake N number when he filed IFR to fly back and forth between the wife in FL and mistress in NY (or vice versa).
 
Van Johnston said:
It reminded me of the guy who asked if we thought it was OK to give ATC a fake N number when he filed IFR to fly back and forth between the wife in FL and mistress in NY (or vice versa).
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It reminds me of ME; at the table.
I know I shouldn't over-eat. I feel bad after I do. I know it will kill me early if I don't stop. I have lost weight many times, but then It turn around and gain it back.

But this time it will be different. :(
 
Van Johnston said:
It reminded me of the guy who asked if we thought it was OK to give ATC a fake N number when he filed IFR to fly back and forth between the wife in FL and mistress in NY (or vice versa).
Click to expand...

LOL what ever happened to him. Gawd that was a hilarious thread. And we never did a pic of either women.
 
:)
First time I actually laughed reading threads. Though I usually read ones pertaining to flying
 
Hmmm... makes me think of a certain "green" pilot that 6PC and I knew
 
I'm not a psychologist so I can't help you work the problem. I would suggest you don't carry passengers until you get things figured out. No point in killing someone that trusts your judgment and goes for a ride. You know you have a problem. Self grounding is not out of the question. Carrying passengers is negligent.
 
You don't say what you fly. Is part of the problem boredom? Probably blasphemy but flying can be boring. Try spending some time challenging yourself with flying tasks. Land on a spot 10 times out of 10, practice new maneuvers, measure, measure and then measure some more. Try to reach perfection, steep 360 turn isn't good enough until you find your wake every time, etc.
 
People are like leopards, they can't change their spots.
For the most part.

There are two instances where I have seen spots change.

1. An adult who has an adrenal-related incident. An event that is so stressful there is a huge surge of adrenalin such as... a wreck. Hopefully they do not lose body parts or function of limbs during this event, and go on to modify their behavior. (I think the hormone surge during these events makes the brain more impressionable; ie they remember the bad outcome better and change their ways.)

2. Young people.

There are other cases, but mostly minor in frequency.
 
Velocity173 said:
I don't know if you can really prevent hazardous attitudes like yours without a result (accident) of that attitude occurring. I've instructed with many students in the Army that I thought had the machoism trait but there's really nothing I could do except tell them about my own experiences and show crash videos of poor CRM. Professional training helps, but there's no cure all for someone who flys with ignorance to the hazards of flight. You either live and learn, or aviation will have a way of eliminating the problem on it's own.

Click to expand...

Can I get you to sign my 7122 for annual ACT-E refresher since I watched that video? Been a few years since I saw that one!
 
Flymy47 said:
Can I get you to sign my 7122 for annual ACT-E refresher since I watched that video? Been a few years since I saw that one!
Click to expand...

Lol! Sorry, last ACT-E I signed off was over 6 years ago.

I wish they didn't make that series restricted from public release. A lot of those accident vids, the general aviation public could benefit from. Poor decision making can be learned from, no matter what the airframe.
 
I don't understand how you can know that it is a dangerous problem and yet not be able to change.

What happens when you see a problem like weather or issues with the plane and "short-circuit"?
What goes on, internal dialogue? Is it possible you have a death wish?
 
LongRoadBob said:
I don't understand how you can know that it is a dangerous problem and yet not be able to change.

What happens when you see a problem like weather or issues with the plane and "short-circuit"?
What goes on, internal dialogue? Is it possible you have a death wish?
Click to expand...

Based on the limited info given by the OP, I'm not even sure there is a problem. Sometimes, you don't know what you don't know. Without any real experience with close calls from his believed machoism, no way of knowing if it's all in his head, or if he really has a problem.

It's not as simple in telling the OP, "well, just make good decisions and you'll be fine." What is good ADM? Some decisions are blatant violations of of good ADM but others are subjective. It's not universal. Ones decision making might look reckless to some while others look at it as acceptable risk. Only way the OP could know if he's crossing a line, is to develop his own RA matrix. Even then, it won't prevent him from doing something stupid after departure.

To the OP, all I would suggest is keep within the standards of your aircraft POH, the FARs and AIM as they apply to your operation and over time you should be able to decide what is good ADM vs bad ADM. When you deviate from a standard and bordering on high risk behavior, ask yourself "should I really be doing this right now?"
 
When I was younger I was prone to being reckless and impatient in a car, also prone to road rage. I remember a friend being shocked that I was almost halfway out his pickup window on the highway yelling at someone. He told me I was asking to get shot. People who know me now probably don't believe it. I think I was mellowing gradually, but seeing someone killed in a car because he was in too much of a hurry stopped it completely. I had to wait until I was in my 40s, though.
 
You may just have to wait until someone you know dies in a plane crash. One of the CFIs I flew with was killed several months ago in a wake turbulence accident in Reno. I had flown with him in the plane he died in. It really wakes you up. Be careful out there.
 
and here I am thinking I am reasonable for wanting to re do the fuel system in the rental 172 because they had some black specks in the fuel when I sumped.

Op If you are not trolling, you need to change the way you look at thing, then the things you look at will start to change.;)
 
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