Interesting things ATC heard

AggieMike88

AggieMike88

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The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
we have had various threads about what pilots have heard from the controllers.

Now it's the turn of our controller gang to share interesting or funny things you have heard from us pilots
 
I'm both....I've screwed up both ends of the radio. :oops:

But I can remember my tower controller trying to tell a Navy P-3 that his landing light wasn't on a few times and the pilot came back finally and said, "maam, the only light we don't have on is the dome light but I can turn that on if you like."
 
Timbeck2 said:
I'm both....I've screwed up both ends of the radio. :oops:
Click to expand...

Guilty as well. :D

OK. A couple of T38s in the hammerhead (area for maybe 6-8 jets at end of runway). The T38 squadron Supervisor of Flying (SOF) had their own frequency and one of the T38s was calling them and didn't realize he had a hot mike. 2-3 times the pilot calls, still jammed freq. Pilot says something negative about the supervisor, like WTF is he doing, and about this time you can hear (somehow) the other T38 pilot yelling at the stuck mike T38, yelling "stuck mike", and the guy finally realizes he has a stuck mike and says something like "oh hell I'm in hot water now" except it wasn't that clean.

BTW we always had the SOF's freq dialed up on a backup radio so we heard the whole thing.
 
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One of the funniest things I heard was a fam ride that one of the local squadrons was doing for its enlisted personnel. CO decided that all his enlisted troopers would get an F-18 ride while in his squadron.

Well, this particular day they had a dude in the back who instead of pressing the ICS switch, he was transmitting over the freq. I worked him on departure but he really didn't talk much. Basically heard "oh, this is so cool sir. Beautiful up here." I notified the pilot that someone had a hot mic and switched him over to the off shore controlling agency. When they were inbound about an hour later I had moved on over to arrival and was working them inbound. This time the pilot informed me he had a passenger that had a hot mic and appoligized. Didn't matter to me but I relayed it to tower so they were aware. Since they were doing the over head, I keyed up tower's freq to listen how it went.

"Get ready, this is going to be some more Gs here."

(Passenger) "Ok...oh..holy ssshhhhhiiiii!" :D
 
Lot's of hot mike stories.

Had a C-130 at an intersection taxi into position to hold (this was before it was line up and wait...but I digress) in order to let another aircraft exit the runway. We also had a flight of two A-10s LUAW the full length behind the C-130. (Hot mic on the C-130)....."I hate it when tower does that...its not like we have rear view mirrors on this thing.....they're probably just up there eating donuts and not paying attention... (the aircraft the C-130 was waiting on exited the runway but since they had a hot mic, the tower couldn't clear them for take off) ...c'mon tower, what are you waiting on...the damn F-16 is off the runway....holy crap what are they doing up there?.....what?.....I don't know...maybe... (the mic isn't hot anymore) I key up..."Zapper one four, the rear view mirror is on backorder, the donuts were delicious, the wind is calm, runway one two at alpha two, cleared for take off." (sheepish voice) "Zapper one four cleared for take off."
 
Got called a "wanker" once by an Aussie exchange F-18 pilot. Center wouldn't answer the landline for a point out so all I could give was 10,000 ft. After a couple of requests (antsy) for higher, finally I told him to expect 10,000 for a final altitude until in the warning area. He came back and said "you wanker."
 
I ask a pilot his speed and he responds with 7 point 4. I just say roger. About 20 seconds later he comes back to tell me it was point 74. I always wondered what the conversation in the cockpit was. Dude, you better tell him, he might put someone doin Mach 5 up our azz.
 
I was working the mid-shift at Denver Center around 3:00 AM. The controller next to me was working a T-29 that departed Ellsworth AFB heading for ABQ area. The course for the airway his was flying was 179 degrees. He also had a freight dog out of Denver headed to Rapid City on the same airway and because of magnetic deviation, its course was 001 degrees. Both aircraft were at the same altitude, 11000 MSL. The controller was a little late in instructing the T-29 to climb to 12,000 MSL. His issued traffic to both aircraft and told the T-29 to expedite his climb. The T29, after passing the freight dog was descended back to 11,000.


Just a minute or so after the T-29 reported level at 11,000, he requested to turn around and return to Ellsworth. The controller gave him his new clearance to Ellsworth, and started coordinating changes up and down the line (pre computer days)


A pesky fly had been pestering me and the other controller, distracting us at times and we had made several attempts to kill him, but were so far unsuccessful.


The T-29 was rapidly overtaking the freight dog, at the same altitude. Both aircraft were on the same frequency and were most likely aware of the potential conflict.


Meanwhile the controller was busy coordinating issues and also swatting at flies. Once again the controller is late as he issues an altitude change, climbing the T-29 back to 12,000 and telling him to expedite the climb and issuing traffic to the T-29. The T-29 had just acknowledges the clearance when the fly lands on the back side of the controllers horizontal radar scope. As the controller leans across the scope to attempt another killing maneuver, he inadvertently keys his microphone as he yells at the fly, “I going to kill you yet, you S O B.”


As he sets back down from another missed attempt at killing the fly, Both the T-29 and the freight dog announce on frequency that they are canceling IFR and will proceeding VFR.


Just another slow dull mid-shift at Denver Center.
 
I'm not a controller, but the weirdest thing...not necessarily funniest...but weirdest thing I've ever heard a pilot say was...

A few years back I'm on a XC returning to MO from GA. A Mooney was on the same frequency as I was for the latter half of the trip. He was struggling somewhat with his radio skills/calls for the duration.

Then I heard something like: "Memphis Center, Mooney 12345, Dyersburg in sight, request cancel IFR."

Memphis: "ummm...Mooney 12345, I show Poplar Bluff as your destination."

Mooney: "oh yeah, cancel request."

About 20 minutes later: "Memphis Center, Mooney 12345, Poplar Bluff in sight, request cancel IFR."

I still have a hard time understanding how someone forgets where they're going, especially if they're on an instrument plan.
 
AggieMike88 said:
we have had various threads about what pilots have heard from the controllers.

Now it's the turn of our controller gang to share interesting or funny things you have heard from us pilots
Click to expand...


Gulfstream 1234A: "Green Bay Approach, Gulfstream 1234A, 16,500
descending 14,000, request direct 'limbo' for the visual runway 24."

(The FAF for the RNAV RWY 24 approach at KGRB is LMMBO, it's
about three miles northeast of Lambeau Field, the home of the NFL's
flagship franchise.)

Green Bay Approach: "Gulfstream 1234A, Green Bay Approach,
descend at pilot's discretion maintain three thousand, Green Bay
altimeter 29.92. Please examine the other RNAV approaches to
see if you can spot a trend with the naming of the FAFs, then
restate your request."

(The other FAFs are FRZZN, TNDRA, and FAVRE.)

Pause.

Gulfstream 1234A: "Green Bay Approach, Gulfstream 1234A, request
direct 'lambo' for the visual runway 24."

Green Bay Approach: "Gulfstream 34A, proceed direct 'lambo',
report the field in sight."
 
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Made a traffic call once and the traffic was a Mirage. It sounded funny to me as I was saying it and I guess it came through in my voice. Pilot comes back with something like "looking, let me know if it gets bigger or fades away"
 
I heard a controller say "sh**" the other day. I asked the guy flying with me "Did I hear right? Did he say sh**"? "Yup I heard it too".
 
BOS Center: "Airliner xxx cleared direct GIGTY."

"Direct Giggity, Airliner xxx"

BOS Center: "All-riiiiiiiight!"
 
Timbeck2 said:
We need more Fokkers.
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7aff51f8fbbc535830d035edf6360c57ab4e1b8c.jpg
 
kayoh190 said:
BOS Center: "Airliner xxx cleared direct GIGTY."

"Direct Giggity, Airliner xxx"

BOS Center: "All-riiiiiiiight!"
Click to expand...
Made even more poignant since Quagmire is a pilot.
 
mcheathe said:
I was working the mid-shift at Denver Center around 3:00 AM. The controller next to me was working a T-29 that departed Ellsworth AFB heading for ABQ area. The course for the airway his was flying was 179 degrees. He also had a freight dog out of Denver headed to Rapid City on the same airway and because of magnetic deviation, its course was 001 degrees. Both aircraft were at the same altitude, 11000 MSL. The controller was a little late in instructing the T-29 to climb to 12,000 MSL. His issued traffic to both aircraft and told the T-29 to expedite his climb. The T29, after passing the freight dog was descended back to 11,000.


Just a minute or so after the T-29 reported level at 11,000, he requested to turn around and return to Ellsworth. The controller gave him his new clearance to Ellsworth, and started coordinating changes up and down the line (pre computer days)


A pesky fly had been pestering me and the other controller, distracting us at times and we had made several attempts to kill him, but were so far unsuccessful.


The T-29 was rapidly overtaking the freight dog, at the same altitude. Both aircraft were on the same frequency and were most likely aware of the potential conflict.


Meanwhile the controller was busy coordinating issues and also swatting at flies. Once again the controller is late as he issues an altitude change, climbing the T-29 back to 12,000 and telling him to expedite the climb and issuing traffic to the T-29. The T-29 had just acknowledges the clearance when the fly lands on the back side of the controllers horizontal radar scope. As the controller leans across the scope to attempt another killing maneuver, he inadvertently keys his microphone as he yells at the fly, “I going to kill you yet, you S O B.”


As he sets back down from another missed attempt at killing the fly, Both the T-29 and the freight dog announce on frequency that they are canceling IFR and will proceeding VFR.


Just another slow dull mid-shift at Denver Center.
Click to expand...

LOL. We're you sweatin for a few days waiting for a call to the Chiefs office?
 
AggieMike88 said:
Made even more poignant since Quagmire is a pilot.
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Exactly. The fix sits roughly over Providence, where Family Guy takes place. When the ROBUC arrival was still really new, you could always tell who the fans were - everyone else was still pronouncing the fix "GIG-TEE". :)
 
bikert said:
I heard a controller say "sh**" the other day. I asked the guy flying with me "Did I hear right? Did he say sh**"? "Yup I heard it too".
Click to expand...

Guilty. I was in Korea and we were donning our chem suits (for the umpteenth time) for an exercise. As I leaned over to put my over-boots on, my mic (which was attached to my pocket) inadvertently keyed up while I said "this sh** suuuuuuuucks."
 
Timbeck2 said:
Guilty. I was in Korea and we were donning our chem suits (for the umpteenth time) for an exercise. As I leaned over to put my over-boots on, my mic (which was attached to my pocket) inadvertently keyed up while I said "this sh** suuuuuuuucks."
Click to expand...

I've heard it a couple of times from the LGA ground controller over the years. That place turns into bedlam in no time at all, and there's one controller that doesn't handle it as well as the others. She's let "sh**" slip out a couple of times - not that anyone cares. It's LGA. We get it.
 
kayoh190 said:
Exactly. The fix sits roughly over Providence, where Family Guy takes place. When the ROBUC arrival was still really new, you could always tell who the fans were - everyone else was still pronouncing the fix "GIG-TEE". :)
Click to expand...

Is Quohog supposed to be Providence?
 
SkyHog said:
Is Quohog supposed to be Providence?
Click to expand...

According to the FG Wiki: MacFarlane, in an interview with local WNAC Fox 64 News, has stated that the town is modeled after Cranston, Rhode Island.
 
SkyHog said:
Is Quohog supposed to be Providence?
Click to expand...

That's my understanding. I've never been to Providence, but I hear it's the same skyline.
 
Caramon13 said:
According to the FG Wiki: MacFarlane, in an interview with local WNAC Fox 64 News, has stated that the town is modeled after Cranston, Rhode Island.
Click to expand...

Freyda Felcher? From Cranston? Oh Yeah. I mean, what you told me about her.
 
This thread has really got me tripping down memory lane. Here's one where the punchline is what I said, but what a pilot said set it up. Golden West Airways used to fly Short 330's around Southern California. I'm working Tower at Santa Barbara. Golden West is up there with a Short bouncing in the pattern on a training flight. A scheduled Goldie Short is inbound. The other player is an Appolo Aviation HP13 Jetstream, call sign Sonic. Sonic checks in over GVO and I tell him to report downwind for 25. The scheduled Goldie Short is straight in to 25, the training Short is number 2 and is turning final when Sonic reports downwind. I ask one of the Shorts if those airplanes have been washed recently. The pilot actually answers the question like it's a routine transmission and says "I don't think so." Sonic was "number 3, follow a pair of dirty shorts on final"
 
I should go back and grab the liveATC feed, but I was handed off to a different sector at FAT approach, who was having an in depth conversation with the new GippsAero GA8 that the California Highway Patrol just put into service. This went on for the better part of 2-3 minutes, at which point, I finally broke in to check in.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
OK. This is true. It was the week after 9/11 and I flew with this female friend of mine. Now we were friends, sort of like Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld. So ATC said "you will have to depart IFR clearance and there is a 45 minute wait". She pipes in with a few copilot comments and gets our instructions, so ATC knows I have her onboard too. We were to wait until the 310 landed. So after 30 minutes of waiting in the airplane the 310 landed and she says "well the 310 landed so fire up the plane and turn the radios on and get ahold of ATC" (there was an RC0 on the ground). So I call in. And ATC comes back with "are you guys done yet?"
 
Overheard on frequency:
"Approach, Skyhawk 12345 out of Podunk, northbound, climbing through 1,000 for 6,500, requesting FF to XYZ"
"Skyhawk 12345, Approach, squawk 4321, ident".
"4321, ident, Skyhawk 12345"
"Skyhawk 345, radar contact 2 miles north of Podunk, verify altitude 1,500"
"Affirmative, climbing through 1,500, Skyhawk 345"
"Skyhawk 345, traffic 1 mile, 2 o'clock, 2,500, appears to be climbing, altitude unverified"
"Negative contact, looking, Skyhawk 345"
...
"And Approach, if that traffic is the RV that departed in front of us, we ain't gonna catch him, 345"
"Skyhawk 345, roger, traffic no factor, he's now climbing through 8,000"
"345"
:D
 
Jump seating on a very late night...... "From the flight deck, were are just leveling off at our cruise altitude. We are expecting a smooth ride into Houston, where the weather is clear and 78 degrees. We expect to arrive about 10 minutes early. We hope you enjoy the flight and we will keep the chatter down so you can sleep"..... click....click.... "What the f***? Whats wrong with this F***er? F***ing thing is F***ED..." CLICK :oops::eek:

Not a word from the guys up front after that.....:)
 
while cruising along at work the other day I heard an exchange between Atlanta Center and a Delta plane that had my first officer and myself cracking up

so this female center controller tried calling up this delta 3 or 4 times, eventually the delta pilot responded
pilot - "Sorry you sounded like my wife so I tuned you out"
controller - "well I've got some delays for you going into Atlanta, I'll need you to slow down"
pilot - "now you definitely sound like my wife"
controller - "well then I want half of everything"

one of the best exchanges I've ever heard on the radio
 
My personal favorite, probably 1030PM working departure sectors. For reference you can easily figure out certain types of aircraft with noises from the cockpit bleeding into transmissions at certain phases of flight. American was an MD80, which typically stands out on cockpit noise.

AAL: American with ya outta 2 for 5.
Me: American 123 departure radar contact, climb maintain 7,000
AAL: American maintain 7.
Me: American 123 traffic 12 O' Clock, 5 miles B737 leveling 8,000.
AAL: Looking
Me: American 123 traffic no factor climb maintain 15,000
AAL
different voice,obviously not their actual voice): Fifteen thousand.
AAL (even different voice): Verify that was for AMERICAN 123 to 15,000?
Me: Affirmative, American 123 maintain 15,000
AAL: How'd you know it was us?
Me: I've got two on frequency, you and a Pilatus, I didn't hear the prop noise
Me: American 123 proceed direct XYZ
AAL (this time strange bubbling sound in background) Direct XYZ.
some time passes.....

AAL: Hey departure how did you know American 123 took direct XYZ,
Me: well sir, the Pilatus pilot is a woman, can I ask you a question?
AAL: Go ahead
Me: what was that weird noise when I gve you direct XYZ?
AAL: I taught my co pilot a lesson about callsign use and made him make prop noises like a kid when I read it back.
...
...
Coordination...
Me: American 123, proceed direct DFW, you may have to level, center is laughing too hard to breathe.
 
I was working CIC in St. Thomas (Controller-In-Charge. Supervisor-like role when the Front Line Managers are unavailable). My buddy was working ground. American calls for taxi:

AAL123: St Thomas Ground, AAL123 request taxi
STT Gnd: AAL123 STT Ground, runway 10 taxi via Alpha
AAL: Via Alpha for 10 AAL123

a minute or so goes by

AAL" Uhhh, ground, we need to stop out taxi. There seems to be a pelican in the middle of the taxiway
STT Gnd: No big deal. Just honk the horn he'll move.



Shortly after I check out at my current facility, I was working a student pilot with an Australian accent. The ground controller is known to her VERY chatty with the pilots on frequency. I cross the Cessna and switch him to ground. The ground controllers states, "Hey you sound cute" to which the pilot replies "It comes with the accent".
 
JustinD said:
while cruising along at work the other day I heard an exchange between Atlanta Center and a Delta plane that had my first officer and myself cracking up

so this female center controller tried calling up this delta 3 or 4 times, eventually the delta pilot responded
pilot - "Sorry you sounded like my wife so I tuned you out"
controller - "well I've got some delays for you going into Atlanta, I'll need you to slow down"
pilot - "now you definitely sound like my wife"
controller - "well then I want half of everything"

one of the best exchanges I've ever heard on the radio
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Reminds me of one at LA Center years ago. I heard about it second hand. Went something like this.

Girl at Center: Descend and maintain FL240
Pilot: Can we have a pilots discretion descent
Center, with a severe case of attitude: If I wanted you to descend at pilots discretion I would have given you pilots discretion
Pilot: Uh, ok, leaving 350 for 240
a few seconds go by
Pilot: Didn't I used to be married to you
 
Got caught off guard on this one... and the controllers obviously didn't know what to make of it either.
 
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