"I'm not gonna lie..."

"Literally" . . . that's what my kids preface everything with. Literally that's the blah blah blah. That's literally the blah blah blah.

No, it is not "literally" anything.
 
Ya know David, I came >< close to adding that one as well in my OP.
 
The two that get me are...

"I wanna say"... why not just say it if you "wanna?" You're "gonna" say it anyway..
and...
"I feel like..." instead of "I think.." "I feel like a PA28-140 has a Vx of 74mph.." It'd be better to think about stuff rather than feel about it.

Yeah, I need a bigger lawn, too.
 
The one I STILL hate the most is "Not for nothing, but..."

All of which precedes, "Not there there is anything wrong with that."
 
Oh... and... remember when grass on a field was called "turf," and the fake stuff was "artificial turf"... and now "turf" is the fake stuff. Does that make a grass field "virtual turf?"
And..
the usage of "virtual," in and of itself, has become completely corrupted.

This is going to be a long thread. Can't decide if it's going to harsh my mellow or be chill. I wanna say that I feel like it could literally be entertaining, but virtually annoying.
 
Texas version; "I'll tell ya what..."

And that's it...end of sentence leaving us all in suspense. I've heard that one since I was a kid. Since we're on the subject: I work with a lot of 20 somethings with nobody my age to roll my eyes to. I get, "Hey Mr. Becker, do you mind if I use this pencil (or insert request here)" to which I reply, "No." And they walk away all dejected. The other one is, "Mind if I ask you a question?" which doesn't give me much choice.
 
"Mind if I ask you a question?"

Answer, you just did....

While in the hospital a while back, medical folks would come in and ask, ''How are you today.??''

I would answer with, ''I have had better days.'' Which would be followed with... ''You have had better days? What does that mean.??''

In my thoughts.... anyone that has spent time in a hospital will know that the hospital is not a place to get any rest....
 
I tell you what...I just want to say, literally, that I feel like this is sick. Do you mind if I don’t axe what you think?

Anyways...
 
I guess "I'm not gonna lie" replaced "to be honest..."
Which are both usually prefaces to an untruth of some kind...

A couple others that bug me..

Said by a server at a restaurant when describing a dish.. "It's going to be served with a balsamic reduction blah blah blah..." It'll be served with it IF I order it. Yeah, I know it's stupid, it's me, nothing wrong with it... but it still bugs me.

Speaking of which... "waitress" and "waiter" are now somehow derogatory terms... were replaced by "waitron" or simply "trons" at some point in the industry... and now they are simply "servers".. which, personally, I find to be the most derogatory term of all. I don't wish to be served... makes me uncomfortable.

When I take my wife and daughter-in-law out for lunch, and the "server" greets us with, "Hi, guys...." sigh.

When the "server" says, "So, what are we having?" ... didn't realize he'd be dining with us..

"How are we today?" ... I have no idea. I'm aware of my own state of being, but I can't speak for the person asking the question.
 
If ya got to tell others you’re not going to lie...
 
"Would you be able to lend me $20, or is it hard to say?"

Neither. No. Very easy to say.
 
Them: "Can I ask you a question?"
Me: "You just did. You have another one?"

Them: Every sentence starting off with "I mean ..."
Me: "What are you clarifying?"

Them: "Is that 'Greg' with 1 or 2 'G's?"
Me: "2. Because you can't spell 'Greg' with just 1 'G'."

The one that really grates ...
Them: "I'm gonna sale my boat."
Me: "But it's a power boat, not a sail boat."
Them: "Yeah? So?"
Me: "Do you mean sell your boat?"
Them: "Yeah. That's what I said."
Me: :facepalm:

Yeah - get off my lawn.
 
Needless to say...

It goes without saying...
 
I can't even.
 
I usually find that people who say "I'm not gonna lie to you" are the ones predisposed to telling you a lie.
 
Anyone who begins a sentence with "So..." immediately loses my interest and I leave the conversation, knowing worse is coming...
 
Anyone who begins a sentence with "So..." immediately loses my interest and I leave the conversation, knowing worse is coming...
Anyway....
 
"I would just like to take this oppurtunity to say thank you. . .". You would? Then say "Thank you".

"I just want to be. . ." then look up 'just' in OED, then drop it from the sentence.

"At this time we will no longer. . ." got a time machine?

And stop verbing your nouns.
 
Lie down vs lay down also gets me laughing.

I always want to ask them how the sex was. LOL.

Old English version of lay, anyway...
 
I be like conversating with these wimmen at the gym right
 
“I swear on my grandmamas grave” is translated as “everything I just said is 100% false”.....
 
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