flygirl34q
Ejection Handle Pulled
- Joined
- May 8, 2010
- Messages
- 833
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In the interest of moving recreational aviation into the twenty-first century, here is a score sheet for rating your local airport on its attractiveness to females. Pretend you are a woman on her first visit to the flying school/club. You are on a mission to find out if aviation is for you.
1/ Drive into the parking lot. How many spaces are reserved for pregnant women and the handicapped?
Score +5 for each one.
Score -5 for each space in the front row reserved for the manager and/or CFI.
2/ How many cars in the lot display macho personalized licence plates such as "AV8R," "TALDRAGR" or "MILEHIGH"?
Score -1 for each.
Score +1 for every "MOMSTAXI."
3-A/ Open the door to the flying club lounge or flying school office. Everyone in the room turns to see who is walking in. If they know you, do they say "Hi" or some other greeting?
Score +1 for each yes.
Score -1 for every no.
3-B/ Watch the same people when a stranger walks in. They look, then what do they do?
Score +1 for each friendly greeting to the stranger.
Score -1 for every aviator in the room who turns back to what they were doing without saying anything.
3-C/ Now watch if a strange woman comes through the door. Note: You may have to wait awhile.
Score -5 for each man who stares at her without saying anything.
Score +5 for each person who immediately says, "Hi, welcome to the our flying school!"
4/ Look at the bulletin board.
Score -10 for each notice that says:
"Wanted: Woman with airplane. Must like flight planning, navigating and polishing aluminum. Preference given to applicants with aircraft maintenance engineer licence and/or instrument rating. Send picture of airplane."
Score +10 for each notice declaring, "Bondar for Minister of Transport"
5/ How about the magazine table?
Score +1 for each woman’s publication.
Score +5 for each woman’s aviation magazine.
Score -1 for each aviation magazine dated from the last century.
Score -5 for each woman’s wrestling publication.
6/ Now go to the washroom.
Score +1 if there is a separate lady’s washroom.
Score +2 if it is cleaner than the men’s and stocked with toilet paper and paper towels.
Score +3 if the toilet seat is down.
Score -1 if the toilet paper feels like a Trade-a-plane.
Score -2 if the toilet paper is a Trade-a-plane.
Score -3 if there is a peephole in the wall between the men’s and ladies’ washroom.
7/ Who is working behind the flight desk?
Score -5 if the dispatcher is wearing a low-cut, red T-shirt that reads "Remove before flight."
Score -10 if the dispatcher above asks the female stranger if she’s looking for a date.
Score +5 if there is a smiling person behind the desk who is knowledgeable and interested in the strange women’s questions.
Score +10 if the smiling person behind the desk looks like Brad Pitt.
8/ Check out the coffee station.
Score -1 if the coffee looks and smells like asphalt sealer.
Score -2 if the cream isn’t.
Score +1 if there is a cappuccino machine.
Score +2 if the cappuccino is served by Brad Pitt.
9/ Look at the airplanes used for flight training.
Score -5 for each one that smells of dope, exhaust, burning oil and leaking gasoline.
Score +5 for each one that can be flown by someone less than five feet tall wearing a skirt.
10/ Finally.
Score -5 for each father at the airport who left his children at home.
Score +5 if the airport has a free pre-school nursery for aviators.
TOTAL SCORE
0 to +5: Genderizing in progress.
+6 to +10: Welcome to the twenty-first century.
+11 to +20: The club/school manager must be a female.
More than +20: You missed the airport and are in a woman’s health spa.
0 to -5: the manager is male but his mother did a good job enlightening him.
-6 to -10: Welcome back to the 1950s.
-11 to -20: You stumbled into Red Green’s Possum Lodge.
More than -20: Rename the airport after King Henry VIII.
1/ Drive into the parking lot. How many spaces are reserved for pregnant women and the handicapped?
Score +5 for each one.
Score -5 for each space in the front row reserved for the manager and/or CFI.
2/ How many cars in the lot display macho personalized licence plates such as "AV8R," "TALDRAGR" or "MILEHIGH"?
Score -1 for each.
Score +1 for every "MOMSTAXI."
3-A/ Open the door to the flying club lounge or flying school office. Everyone in the room turns to see who is walking in. If they know you, do they say "Hi" or some other greeting?
Score +1 for each yes.
Score -1 for every no.
3-B/ Watch the same people when a stranger walks in. They look, then what do they do?
Score +1 for each friendly greeting to the stranger.
Score -1 for every aviator in the room who turns back to what they were doing without saying anything.
3-C/ Now watch if a strange woman comes through the door. Note: You may have to wait awhile.
Score -5 for each man who stares at her without saying anything.
Score +5 for each person who immediately says, "Hi, welcome to the our flying school!"
4/ Look at the bulletin board.
Score -10 for each notice that says:
"Wanted: Woman with airplane. Must like flight planning, navigating and polishing aluminum. Preference given to applicants with aircraft maintenance engineer licence and/or instrument rating. Send picture of airplane."
Score +10 for each notice declaring, "Bondar for Minister of Transport"
5/ How about the magazine table?
Score +1 for each woman’s publication.
Score +5 for each woman’s aviation magazine.
Score -1 for each aviation magazine dated from the last century.
Score -5 for each woman’s wrestling publication.
6/ Now go to the washroom.
Score +1 if there is a separate lady’s washroom.
Score +2 if it is cleaner than the men’s and stocked with toilet paper and paper towels.
Score +3 if the toilet seat is down.
Score -1 if the toilet paper feels like a Trade-a-plane.
Score -2 if the toilet paper is a Trade-a-plane.
Score -3 if there is a peephole in the wall between the men’s and ladies’ washroom.
7/ Who is working behind the flight desk?
Score -5 if the dispatcher is wearing a low-cut, red T-shirt that reads "Remove before flight."
Score -10 if the dispatcher above asks the female stranger if she’s looking for a date.
Score +5 if there is a smiling person behind the desk who is knowledgeable and interested in the strange women’s questions.
Score +10 if the smiling person behind the desk looks like Brad Pitt.
8/ Check out the coffee station.
Score -1 if the coffee looks and smells like asphalt sealer.
Score -2 if the cream isn’t.
Score +1 if there is a cappuccino machine.
Score +2 if the cappuccino is served by Brad Pitt.
9/ Look at the airplanes used for flight training.
Score -5 for each one that smells of dope, exhaust, burning oil and leaking gasoline.
Score +5 for each one that can be flown by someone less than five feet tall wearing a skirt.
10/ Finally.
Score -5 for each father at the airport who left his children at home.
Score +5 if the airport has a free pre-school nursery for aviators.
TOTAL SCORE
0 to +5: Genderizing in progress.
+6 to +10: Welcome to the twenty-first century.
+11 to +20: The club/school manager must be a female.
More than +20: You missed the airport and are in a woman’s health spa.
0 to -5: the manager is male but his mother did a good job enlightening him.
-6 to -10: Welcome back to the 1950s.
-11 to -20: You stumbled into Red Green’s Possum Lodge.
More than -20: Rename the airport after King Henry VIII.