Not a CFII, not (yet) IR, but...
The advice to start with a CFII and learn it right is spot on. Learn it right and you won't have to re-learn it (as much). Here's what has taken me so long (years) to get where I am (IR check ride is on Wednesday).
1. I've started and stopped the training too many times. Why? A combination of changing instructors, an instructor being unavailable for periods of time (flew helicopters for the Army and they kept sending him to Afghanistan), health problems causing loss of medical a couple times and travel and weather getting in the way (need to earn a living and the weather stinks a good part of the year around here).
2. Changed aircraft. The 172 originally was straight steam gauges. Worked on it for a while. Changed to the 182 when the 172 had the Garmin 430W installed. Wanted to learn on instruments without learning a new box. Then shifted back to the 172 when I realized that the 430W really would be an advantage.
3. Took too long learning the 430W. Fixed that this summer by getting the King Schools DVD class. I can't recommend it highly enough. Earlier this year it was a struggle to keep up with the plane and the 430 at the same time. The 430 is second nature now. I love that box. It's almost like cheating.
I have hardly any time with a safety pilot. Virtually all my instrument time (simulated and, of course, actual) is with a CFII in the right seat. Yes, I pay more that way, but I think I learn more, as well. And that's the whole idea. Learn how to fly by reference to instruments safely and in a way that won't make ATC mad.
Oh, and speaking of ATC, it's amusing to hear the relief in their voice when you say that the next approach will terminate in a landing or cancellation of the instrument clearance and you'll be out of their hair.
I'm sure I heard that today when I told SEA approach that we'd cancel after the NDB 35 into TIW and fly home to OLM VFR.
Of course, he thinks he was relieved. I was even more so. It was downright relaxing to take off the foggles, point the nose home and just fly.