Flying Risk & Your Young Family

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Getting my certificate is something I've wanted to do for my entire life. I'm to the point in my mid 30s where I make a decent living and could afford to start the training. My wife is on-board with it, but she asked me this: If we have a baby by this time next year, would I want to continue to fly?

It's a great question I am struggling with. My dad passed away when I was young, so I know what it's like to grow up without a father. Insurance will take care of their needs, but you can't replace a parent. I also realize you can't eliminate all risk from life.

Curious...what some of you guys with young families have thought on this topic? How do you balance the risk over your passion for aviation?
 
I have an 8yo and 5yo. Its hard for me to imagine being comfortable enough to take them up in the plane without a CFI next to me but I know I'll get there. I know exactly what you and your wife are struggling with. My wife goes from being gung ho to freaking out and wanting to call the whole thing off.
 
Unregistered said:
Getting my certificate is something I've wanted to do for my entire life. I'm to the point in my mid 30s where I make a decent living and could afford to start the training. My wife is on-board with it, but she asked me this: If we have a baby by this time next year, would I want to continue to fly?

It's a great question I am struggling with. My dad passed away when I was young, so I know what it's like to grow up without a father. Insurance will take care of their needs, but you can't replace a parent. I also realize you can't eliminate all risk from life.

Curious...what some of you guys with young families have thought on this topic? How do you balance the risk over your passion for aviation?
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As one without kids - my words are probably completely invalid - but there is absolutely no way I wouldn't fly anymore and the kids would be in airplanes before they could crawl. Just like I was.
 
There will always be 99 things out there that could cause a kid to lose a parent. You can't live in a bubble out of fear, that would be a horrible example to a kid.

There are certain risks you need to take to feel alive. Certain risks aren't worth it.

I love rafting and kayaking, started taking my kids down Class IV rivers at Age 5. Those are risks that are worth living for, and worth teaching kids life lessons.

I won't ride motorcycles on streets anymore. Too dangerous, and, unlike kayaking and rafting, I can't control the risk involved by the general public. I choose not to take 2-wheeled risks.

Get busy living or get busy dying.
 
I have been flying for most of my life in one form or another. Gliders, RC Models, and when I met my wife I had about a dozen RC planes in the basement hangar and flew a lot. Then, twin girls came along. RC planes were sold off, working two jobs. Finally, I got to fly again,... and then she said I could go ahead and fly GA,... WHAT! SURE!,.... I drove to the airport and was on my way as quick as I could. Once I had my ticket, I flew her and the kids as often as time and money would allow and she was comfortable with it. I even took the kids on long XC's or a weekend away.

You know the risk, manage it, and stick to your personal minimums for weather, your health, your stress, everything.

Now, my third daughter came along. Well, needless to say, I can't afford flying anymore with the costs of fuel and rentals. My last PIC was Oct 22, 2011 :nonod:. But, once I can afford to again, I'll be up in one form or another.
 
My son is 3 and he flies with me often. I love sharing the experience and he thoroughly enjoys it. My mom took her first flight at 9 months, I think I was probably 5yrs old or so for mine. We're all still here today and we sure flew more GA than commercial until I started my career.

I'm all about opening my kids to as many experiences as possible, my parents did the same and I can say I have an appreciation for them letting me enjoy the fun too.
 
My dad was a CFI years ago and is no longer around. I would have given anything to have him experience my flying with me now. I'm hoping my boys, or any other family members or friends wanna join in! I'm a two decade motorcyclist and couldn't imagine my life without that in it either.
 
Mitigate as many risks as you can, get life insurance and get on with life.

I departed for a flight home Sat night, in a single, in 300-1 weather, with my wife and 4-year old aboard.

Contrary to what some on these boards would say, we didn't all die instantly in a flaming fireball!
 
Men take risks. Simple as that. Besides she already has your replacement picked out.
 
Yes I think about it. I don't want to leave my toddler without a mother. I've had friends growing up without a father or a mother, and the one who grew up motherless was the most screwed up. I don't want that for my kid.
 
Unregistered said:
Getting my certificate is something I've wanted to do for my entire life. I'm to the point in my mid 30s where I make a decent living and could afford to start the training. My wife is on-board with it, but she asked me this: If we have a baby by this time next year, would I want to continue to fly?

It's a great question I am struggling with. My dad passed away when I was young, so I know what it's like to grow up without a father. Insurance will take care of their needs, but you can't replace a parent. I also realize you can't eliminate all risk from life.

Curious...what some of you guys with young families have thought on this topic? How do you balance the risk over your passion for aviation?
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Get her involved with your training as much as you can. The more she learns the more comfortable she will be. Get her to understand things like weather fronts and how to read charts. This way when you are flying she is of a benefit to you as a pilot and not just a passenger.
This will also give her a little feeling of control and you just never know she might want to try her hand at flying.
Get her involved, I wish my wife would I have tried.
 
As someone getting ready for my PPL checkride, I've struggled a little with the same question. I have 13-year old boy/girl twins who really enjoy flying with me and my CFI. My son wants to be a pilot, and he's had the joy of flying the plane with my CFI right seat on a few different occasions. The kids have already asked me..."dad, when you pass your checkride are you going to take us somewhere?". My answer was "Yes, but not immediately." I haven't picked a random minimum-number of logbook hours out of the sky (no pun intended), but will probably fly a number of hours alone after my checkride just to be sure I'm comfortable taking the two things that matter most in my life up in the plane with me.

Yep, I know that many take their wife or kids immediately after getting their temporary ticket and I applaud that decision. For me, I'll let my experience and confidence build a little more before doing so.
 
Buy several years income worth of term life insurance without aviation exclusion and roll the cost into your flying budget.

Pack a pair of clean undies, socks, a t-shirt, a toothbrush and $300 into ziploc bag at the bpttom of your flight bag. Never push the weather and accept that occasionally you are going to have to abandon the plane and drive to work in a rental car.

I started flying again while my wife was on maternity leave for our second. Make sure to buy a share of a plane before you start having kids.
 
Nothing personal, but the risk of divorce to your kids is far greater than the risk of an aviation accident.
 
I waited til my 3 daughters where through college, now it's my time to play.
 
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JoseCuervo said:
Nothing personal, but the risk of divorce to your kids is far greater than the risk of an aviation accident.
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That is an unfortunate reality.

I have no children but do think very carefully anytime I place another soul in the aircraft with me...

To the OP: I know you are wife ASKED...but how does she see this? That is really important...as you gain experience, perhaps she may be more confident in you and your flying...
 
This photo is about 18 months old, but you get the idea! ;)

Jim
 

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I think you have a responsibility to be here for your family, you should minimize your risks. Make sure the guys that are committing that you need to fly, confirm when they learned, with kids or before. In my opinion the risk goes way down as you become a high hour pilot.
 
I was only allowed to take one child ,out of the two ,up at a time. The wife didn't want to loose the whole family at once. When the kids went to college it was encouraged to fly them home whenever they requested. Walking across the street while texting is more dangerous than flying.
 
tecprotb said:
I think you have a responsibility to be here for your family, you should minimize your risks. Make sure the guys that are committing that you need to fly, confirm when they learned, with kids or before. In my opinion the risk goes way down as you become a high hour pilot.
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What do you consider "high hour"?
 
This is an interesting thread. My girlfriend has two young children, 7 and 10. I've tried to reason this question out, myself. My girlfriend and her kids are excited to go flying with me, but they did say something to me the other day that struck home: we trust you to know what you're doing and to keep us safe. And that's true, of course.

Flying is so new to me that I have trouble even quantifying the risk in relation to things I've actually done in life. So I have trouble convincing myself with certainty why flying is an acceptable risk for the kids.
 
I have adequate insurance so that if I die for any reason my family is OK financially.

As for taking my child flying... I take her driving, and in my opinion the risks are greater in flying than driving, but I'm able to manage the flying risks better than the driving risks, because nearly all likely causes of an aviation accident are under my control. Not so in driving.
 
frfly172 said:
I was only allowed to take one child ,out of the two ,up at a time. The wife didn't want to loose the whole family at once. When the kids went to college it was encouraged to fly them home whenever they requested. Walking across the street while texting is more dangerous than flying.
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My wife and I stopped riding our HD together after my MIL/babysitter passed in 2009. Even before that we worried who would be there if we both were killed. After my PP in Oct 2008 after 60 hrs, we rented an old 172 two weeks later and took a short xc with our 8/5 yr olds. After building our RV(2009-2011), we have put 124+ hrs on it. Other than test flight hours and a handful of solo flights, most have been with my wife and two kids. I have never stopped training. Yes, it burns a $1.00/minute minimum. Yes, I train with the family and baggage aboard. Why train for a load condition that you rarely ever fly? I have found studying weather, flying high on O2, printing my personal limits on my kneeboard planning sheet, sticking to them and flying every 2-3 weeks reduces our risk to an acceptable level. If we ever lose control with no chance of recovering, I am going full throttle.
 
My kids were in an airplane from the time they were a couple weeks old. My wife does not like to fly, but she does not dislike it either. To her it is a transportation tool just like a car is. We hauled the kids all over the place when they were toddlers, elementary school etc.

When I got into sport flying, my wife started worrying, particularly when I bought the Pitts. She never once went up for a flight just for fun. I soon sold the Pitts and got another traveling airplane.

One important consideration is YOUR approach to flying. Let her see how thorough you are with preflights, and how seriously you take recurrent training. That will help. I suspect her question really boils down to the fact that she is not comfortable with you flying and is using the question of kids to deflect the "blame."
 
There's a saying I came across a while back: "Life starts at the edge of your comfort zone and ends at the beginning of recklessness".
 
My first CFI had one of his kids in a car seat in the back of the Skyhawk during my PPL prep. That "kid" now has his CFII and a pile of ratings... far more than I. Yesterday he posted photos of teaching Koreans to fly turboprops. :)
 
I'll answer from two perspectives. I lost my dad when I was 9, so I can relate to wanting to be there for my kids.

I earned my PPL in my mid-20s while still single. A few years later I met my wife whose father turned out to be a pilot and airplane owner. Obviously we had an instant bond.

A few years later I did the toughest thing I've ever had to do. I had to tell my wife her father had been gravely injured in a crash and the dr said to gather the family because he was not expected to make it thru the night.

At the time I had not been flying for about 2 years, but that was self-imposed while in graduate school. After my FIL's crash my wife said she did not mind if I flew again, but I chose not to because I knew anytime I was out flying and the phone rang she would think it was "that call" again.

A few years later we have our first child, a boy we name after the two grandfathers he will never meet. Now nothing is more important to me than being there for him, and a younger brother a few years later.

Fast forward 15 years. With me neither encouraging or discouraging, oldest boy develops an intense interest in aviation on his own (genetic?). We secretly begin laying the groundwork for me to get re-current and him to fly with me. Finally I work up the courage to bring the subject up with my wife. Her response: "That's fine. Just make sure there is plenty of insurance and don't ever ask me to go with you." I took that deal. Got recurrent in 2012 to end a 20 year hiatus, and bought into a partnership earlier this year.

That a long way of saying you should absolutely go for it. Do the prudent things others have advised here, and enjoy life. You only get one.
 
Flying is only one of infinitely many ways to die. Keep fuel in the plane, pay attention to everything going on around you and use good sense when flying. We all die, we don't know when, heck, for all we know it could all be predetermined. Life is for enjoying, take the kid flying, let them enjoy it as well.
 
ClimbnSink said:
Men take risks. Simple as that. Besides she already has your replacement picked out.
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So do women when they fix their makeup while driving that unwieldy SUV down the freeway at 80 with your small football team worth of kids in the back

Look, if you question you ability to fly to the point of questioning if it's safe to bring your kids along... what about my family in the hose you are flying over solo?!

If you don't trust your abilities with your children, don't test them on mine and just take up golf or something.
 
ChitDisturber said:
So do women when they fix their makeup while driving that unwieldy SUV down the freeway at 80 with your small football team worth of kids in the back

Look, if you question you ability to fly to the point of questioning if it's safe to bring your kids along... what about my family in the hose you are flying over solo?!

If you don't trust your abilities with your children, don't test them on mine and just take up golf or something.
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It's not necessarily about trusting your abilities. I might trust my abilities to play chicken with a freight train, but I wouldn't take my kid along. And while I'm not suggesting flying is as dangerous as that, I don't think it's unreasonable that some people, especially those of us who are new to flying, question the level of risk.

What I'd love to understand is how the risk of flying compares with activities I'm familiar with. For example, how does average GA risk compare with driving on I-95 in the Miami area (Henning will know what I mean). This is a great comparison because I can rationalize it thusly: I take the kids down I-95 regularly en route to recreational activities. If I'd voluntarily do this, and if flying is of equal or lesser risk, then I can be comfortable in my decision to have the kids enjoy aviation with me.

But I'm not sure GA risk level is able to be judged in that way.
 
asechrest said:
.

What I'd love to understand is how the risk of flying compares with activities I'm familiar with. For example, how does average GA risk compare with driving on I-95 in the Miami area (Henning will know what I mean). This is a great comparison because I can rationalize it thusly: I take the kids down I-95 regularly en route to recreational activities. If I'd voluntarily do this, and if flying is of equal or lesser risk, then I can be comfortable in my decision to have the kids enjoy aviation with me.

.
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OK

So quick background

I'm in the 18-30 year old male demographic.

Got my driving permit at 15 1/2, licensed C and M1 for a long time and drove on the west coast of the US, did some lite SCCA stuff, not a paid driver but OK driver.

Been flying for a while, ATP/CFI, flew west coast of US, career pilot

On any given month I'd have AT LEAST one or two, holy chit moments while driving (many illegals and iffy drivers around there), almost had people run me off the road while they changed lanes, etc

Same month, I maybe side loaded a little during a x-wind, pucker factor maybe a 2 out of 10.


I worry FAR more driving on the road during a weekend night then flying hard IMC during the night over a small mountain range.
 
Thanks for this perspective. I'm sort of taking it all in.

ChitDisturber said:
OK

So quick background

I'm in the 18-30 year old male demographic.

Got my driving permit at 15 1/2, licensed C and M1 for a long time and drove on the west coast of the US, did some lite SCCA stuff, not a paid driver but OK driver.

Been flying for a while, ATP/CFI, flew west coast of US, career pilot

On any given month I'd have AT LEAST one or two, holy chit moments while driving (many illegals and iffy drivers around there), almost had people run me off the road while they changed lanes, etc

Same month, I maybe side loaded a little during a x-wind, pucker factor maybe a 2 out of 10.


I worry FAR more driving on the road during a weekend night then flying hard IMC during the night over a small mountain range.
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My 10 year old son flies with me whenever he gets a chance and loves it. He has been flying with me since he was about 3. He has flown in my Cessna, Decathlon, Open cockpit Skybolt, Pitts and now my Christen Eagle and he can't get enough. My wife loves him flying with me and she is scared to death to fly with me.
If we all 3 go somewhere I can talk her into going sometimes. She will not fly with me if our son is not with us. She thinks if we are all together and something happens we are all going down together. Now if just me and her fly and something bad happens my son will not have any parents... makes since I guess.
Here are a couple of pics of my son and the airplanes. I could never take this away from him.
 

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Unregistered said:
Getting my certificate is something I've wanted to do for my entire life. I'm to the point in my mid 30s where I make a decent living and could afford to start the training. My wife is on-board with it, but she asked me this: If we have a baby by this time next year, would I want to continue to fly?
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YMMV, but I did. I'm also in my mid 30s. I got my ticket before my son was born. Flying took a back seat for a few months while I adjusted to the new normal, but now I'm flying more, and more regularly, than I did before I became a parent.

Unregistered said:
Curious...what some of you guys with young families have thought on this topic? How do you balance the risk over your passion for aviation?
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Don't run out of gas, don't fly in bad weather, keep improving your skills, don't get complacent, don't do nothin' dumb.

Hobobiker said:
I ... will probably fly a number of hours alone after my checkride just to be sure I'm comfortable taking the two things that matter most in my life up in the plane with me.
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I found that approach to be helpful.
 
jesse said:
As one without kids - my words are probably completely invalid - but there is absolutely no way I wouldn't fly anymore and the kids would be in airplanes before they could crawl. Just like I was.
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Times two
 
I am very comfortable taking my family flying. After all I take them driving on the DC beltway, now that is scary.

It's inconsistent I know, but the one thing I don't do is fly with my wife, and not my kids. Mom can deal with them if I'm gone (again, lots of ways for me to go) but it would be worse if we're both gone. For me it falls at a different place on the risk/benefit tradeoff curve....
 
jbarrass said:
I am very comfortable taking my family flying. After all I take them driving on the DC beltway, now that is scary.

It's inconsistent I know, but the one thing I don't do is fly with my wife, and not my kids. Mom can deal with them if I'm gone (again, lots of ways for me to go) but it would be worse if we're both gone. For me it falls at a different place on the risk/benefit tradeoff curve....
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Same here. I sometimes take one or both children but never just my wife.
 
This dad was very very careful. I reduced exposure to risk in every way possible. I would plan from airport to airport to the point where there would be few plances for the fan to quit which we're reachable to something landable. I even wrote about in Aviation Safety.

When I got the multi, I developed the go/stop and go/kill/continue table for a part 23 aircraft. The older ATC types locally still remember me as the sunday donut guy even as I see them for their mandatory physicals :).

I still fly 200 undergross and would not depart with my family or alone, when V1>V2.

Now that the girls' futures are assured, I'm a little more liberal.....but old habits and discipline don't just go away. I still am looking up V1 for today's situation.

It's up to you. It will be as safe as you make it.
 
I'm hoping to soon graduate from student pilot to private pilot..

I'm married but no kids yet.

Here's the thing about risk... my wife rides horses and works with them all day, we both ride snowmobiles. I go out in the woods and cut down trees with a chainsaw and work with all manner of other potentially dangerous tools and equipment. We drive in all weather, including ice&snow covered road WI weather.

I would say any one of those things is more likely to get one of us than an airplane is and I'd be right.

It still scares me somewhat... but a little fear can be a good motivator to stay safe so I see it as a good thing.
 
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