Flying for 30 years and NOW I have a panic attack????

Lndwarrior

Lndwarrior

Cleared for Takeoff
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
1,284
Display Name
Display name:
Gary
So, I've had a fear of heights all my life. A big, totally irrational, one. Like looking over a two story balcony freaks me out - and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Never, not once, can I ever recall having that same fear in an airplane. Don't know why but I haven't. I've heard other pilots say the same thing.

So last weekend I'm flying over the California central valley with my stepson in the plane. There's an area that has three really tall towers - two of them are just over 2000 feet tall (not msl). So as we're approaching these towers I start to tell him the story of the guy who changes the light bulbs on the top of these type of towers for a living and about he Youtube video of it.

I finish the story and I'm picturing this guy climbing the tower - and BAM! - I get hit with what was probably a full on panic attack (I've never had one in my 60+ years but I'm guessing that's what this was). I'm looking down at the ground from 5500 feet and I'm suddenly terrified of the height!

It felt like sheer, un-mitigated, terror. It scared me so bad and I felt helpless to control it. Never, ever, in my life had I ever felt quite like this. My stepson was talking about the tower and I inconsiderately told him to STFU right now! (Yes, I did apologize later).

Gradually the terror subsided but for the rest of the flight it felt like it was right in back of my mind just waiting to come back.

Two days later we made the return flight home. I made a point of not looking at, or thinking about the damn towers. And I was fine.

I have had two acquaintances over the past few years who have struggled with panic attacks. I now have a new appreciation for what they go through. I hope to hell I never have another one!
 
Interesting how towers exacerbate the feeling of altitude or lack thereof, isn’t it?

I remember taking the hood off once flying with @jesse because he wanted to point out why not getting too far off of a DME arc was a good idea and would add to longevity as a pilot...

He tells me to take it off and look right, and over there a couple of miles (or whatever it was) there’s the tower, lighted, and it’s night time, and I can clearly tell we’re below it.

Eerie.

Same deal with big towers that stick up out of undercasts when IMC. You get this immediate sense of altitude and distance from them.
 
I had something similar happen. I was playing in a glider in some rough air when I suddenly started thinking that he aircraft wasn't all that new, and the spars were held on by a couple of bayonet connectors, and unfortunately chutes weren't mandatory in gliders in the U.S., et voila - a panic attack set in.
 
I have a fear of heights too but the plane is fine.

I have a similar story though, but with scuba diving. Many years ago when I was training for my certificate, you start in a pool. I mean I'm like a fish in water. Throw all the equipment in the deep end, dive down and put it on under water, etc. NO problems at all. Never had any before that in the water at all.

So we go to Pensacola Bay to do our first open water dive. So we're all wading in and and I go to duck under the water and when my regulator hits the water I have a full blown panic attack. Never had one before in my life. I didn't even know it was coming. It's like a you flipped a switch. No nervousness, anything, then full blown panic attack. It was like a trap door opened up deep in my psyche and all this fear came flooding out. The instructor said he had seen it before. I just got my breath and recovered, then slowly started getting used to going under the water and was fine after that. I didn't finish my instruction though. So in Sept. of 2015 I went to Key Largo to get my certification, and I was thinking about this the whole time I was doing the pool work. So my first open water dive wasn't wading into the water, it was jumping off a boat. I was wondering what was going to happen. Jumped in and was fine.
 
Triggering a fear of heights requires a depth perception aide, like the side of the building, or another "connection" to the ground. You don't usually have that in an airplane - a buddy of mine triggered his fear of heights by flying through a car dealer's searchlight one night; I had to fly from the right seat most of the way home, about 40 minutes or so.

If you got a good look at the towers, recognized the perception of depth, then it might have been like "looking over the side" of a building for you.

You can sometimes use operant conditioning to overcome discomfort, by gradual, repeated exposure to the stress - but probably not if it's a true phobia - likely need a pro to help you with it.
 
This is interesting. I’ve said before that if the cause of an accident was a bee in the cockpit, the accident investigators would never be able to figure it out. Same with this phenomenon.

Sorry to hear OP. But maybe knowing now that the onground fear could extend to flying, maybe you can work on overcoming that fear on the ground. No reason to before, just stay away from balconies and such.
 
Never had a panic attack, but I’ve definitely had an irrational tingling feeling when flying near tall 2K’ radio towers when I’m essentially at the same altitude a few miles away. Definitely makes me double-check my position!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Never full blown panic but I can relate how those escalate...back in my rock climbing days about to top out I would occasionally have the thought "man, it would suck if I had an equipment/harness/rope/anchor failure right about now" along with that nervous emotion start to set in as I was literally hanging by a rope well above survivable fall heights...then would have to talk myself down to trust in my equipment and belay man...but for a brief moment I could see how those spiral into full on panic for some.

455 Bravo Uniform said:
This is interesting. I’ve said before that if the cause of an accident was a bee in the cockpit, the accident investigators would never be able to figure it out. Same with this phenomenon.
Click to expand...

I have also wonder that as well...how many aviation accidents are a result of or escalated by pilot mental incapacitation to make rational and correct decisions and deal with the situation at hand
 
Last edited:
Someone must have released a ton of balloons at the wild animal park in Escondido because I flew through a cloud of balloons at 6,500. Very unsettling feeling seeing them just floating there with the strings dangling

Similar feeling swimming next to a very large boat
 
Shawn said:
I have also wonder that as well...how many aviation accidents are a result of or escalated by pilot mental incapacitation to make rational and correct decisions and deal with the situation at hand
Click to expand...

I wonder about that with other things than just aviation too. Like my scuba diving panic attack. What if that 'trap door' opened up in another situation where I couldn't control what was happening as easy as just lifting out of the water? What if it was in a circumstance far more dangerous? I'd probably be dead.
 
Oh wow. I too can’t handle heights ... such as being on a ladder, or a tethered hot air balloon. My first PPL training flight I had a moment of unpleasantness when we hit some bumps on the very first initial climb out but that soon passed and I never had an issue after that while flying. Someone also mentioned diving. I love snorkeling so also took a diving class. All was well until the 40’ end of class test dive. I completely panicked. Never dove again.

But I did do a tandem skydive once and didn’t have any problem with that.

The mind is a weird place. Thanks for sharing. Having your story in the back of my head may help some day.
 
I've read that more than half of pilots are afraid of heights. It's not normally an issue in airplanes, because a fear of heights is more a fear of falling, and being in an airplane seems pretty secure.

I had about a 15-year period when I wouldn't climb more than two rungs on a ladder, but one of the jobs I had during that time was climbing up into a Stearman and occasionally hanging upside down from the seat belts...no problems with that.
 
Put me in the fear of heights list. I cannot get near a ledge or overhang. I even transfer that fear if anyone I care about gets near a ledge. Flying not a problem, even around towers.
 
The closest I came to having a panic attack was last fall when i was flying IMC on a dark moonless flight with cloud cover above and below me and it was the darkest sky I have ever seen. The terrain over that area between state college and Clarion PA is hostile and I started thinking about what if engine fails and what the hell I am doing up here. Then I realized that I was the only one in this airplane and I cannot freak out. It lasted for few minutes and my sanity took back the control
 
I too have had this experience. The fear is real. A tv lesson from long ago helps me manage the fear. Do any of you know the program/teaching?
 

Attachments

  • E0467EBD-CE92-44E6-9F27-7AE64FE489A7.png
    E0467EBD-CE92-44E6-9F27-7AE64FE489A7.png
    632.2 KB · Views: 41
Not heights for me.
Ladders.
Before I got old and chubby I used to climb. Free climbing, rope climbing, trees, sides of buildings, anything. You name it, I would try to climb it.
But put me on a ladder and I break out in a flop sweat.
Lucky for me I never ran into a ladder in a plane.
Until the C-5s arrived in Vietnam. The original plane had a ladder to the flight deck.
I almost lost my stuff.
They lost the ladder and replaced it with stairs on the production models. Whew.
 
Here am I sitting in a tin can, far above the world...
 
Lndwarrior said:
So, I've had a fear of heights all my life. A big, totally irrational, one. Like looking over a two story balcony freaks me out - and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Never, not once, can I ever recall having that same fear in an airplane. Don't know why but I haven't. I've heard other pilots say the same thing.

So last weekend I'm flying over the California central valley with my stepson in the plane. There's an area that has three really tall towers - two of them are just over 2000 feet tall (not msl). So as we're approaching these towers I start to tell him the story of the guy who changes the light bulbs on the top of these type of towers for a living and about he Youtube video of it.

I finish the story and I'm picturing this guy climbing the tower - and BAM! - I get hit with what was probably a full on panic attack (I've never had one in my 60+ years but I'm guessing that's what this was). I'm looking down at the ground from 5500 feet and I'm suddenly terrified of the height!

It felt like sheer, un-mitigated, terror. It scared me so bad and I felt helpless to control it. Never, ever, in my life had I ever felt quite like this. My stepson was talking about the tower and I inconsiderately told him to STFU right now! (Yes, I did apologize later).

Gradually the terror subsided but for the rest of the flight it felt like it was right in back of my mind just waiting to come back.

Two days later we made the return flight home. I made a point of not looking at, or thinking about the damn towers. And I was fine.

I have had two acquaintances over the past few years who have struggled with panic attacks. I now have a new appreciation for what they go through. I hope to hell I never have another one!
Click to expand...
I have the exact same thing with heights...and I've felt that sweaty-palm / tingly stomach while looking at towers while flying past. My remedy? I don't look at the towers as I fly past. Simple as that is, it works for me.
 
tawood said:
I have the exact same thing with heights...and I've felt that sweaty-palm / tingly stomach while looking at towers while flying past. My remedy? I don't look at the towers as I fly past. Simple as that is, it works for me.
Click to expand...
I navigate using towers, so that doesn't work for me. ;)
 
Put me in the same group that is uncomfortable with heights but perfectly okay in an airplane. Though I have to admit, I do a lot of hiking in the Vermont mountains and some of the routes involve navigating narrow ledges with falls of dozens of feet if you slip. I just don't look down until I'm safely past them.

But I have had a panic attack in an airplane - once, as a student pilot, long ago. I was on a solo XC from 76G to KTVC at 8500 feet. It was my first time that high (for sure, first time solo that high) and I was a bit heavier (okay, a lot heavier) than I am today. I became aware that my heart rate was much faster than normal and wondered if something was wrong - I knew it was the altitude but had never noticed the effect before, of course this was higher than I was used to flying. Anxiety fed the tachycardia and things just got worse from there. I wanted to stay at altitude because Minneapolis radar was very limited back then in that part of the state and I wanted to stay on flight following, but before long I was hyperventilating and knew I was getting into the unsafe zone, and so I descended. Around about 5000 the panic attack ended and I was fine, though of course I was on my own.

I've flown that high and higher many times since and never had another attack. I'm still not sure why it hit me that badly that day.
 
I've had some Acrophobic episodes... My similar experience came just after my PPL checkride... I was flying over the Ausable Chasm in Upstate, NY (of all things)... Looking down I got that same gut wrenching fear as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff...
 
Last edited:
I get this sometimes when there's a tower, tall bridge, or even clouds in the right formation close by, or once watching a big mylar float up towards me. Never had a full out panic attack, but increased anxiety, yeah. I have gotten worse about climbing ladders since I started flying though. I used to be able to walk the rafters in my hangar at 16 feet above the ground without a thought, but now I have to have at least one hand in a death grip on a board at all times, and the transition from ladder to beam and back takes all the mental fortitude I've got.

I saw a full on panic attack happen to a friend once though. It was the first time he'd flown over 10,000 which got in his head for some reason. Then we flew near a huge cloud formation that probably went from 4,000 to 14,000 AGL (we were only 10,500 at our max) and he flipped out. I had to fly home and land from right seat. I've flown with him a lot before and since and he's never had that issue.
 
An instructor said something to me a long time ago that I repeat often. “You don’t have to be comfortable, you have to be competent.”

I’m not afraid of heights as much as I’m afraid of falling. When something makes me uncomfortable in an airplane I focus on managing the airplane.
 
Last edited:
Put me down for the fear of heights. I hate ladders or being up on roofs.

I have that sense of dread or whatever you would call it while flying. Especially when it creeps into your mind that here I am, flying a 60 year old airplane in solid IMC. Sure hope the mechanics are doing their job and the wings don't fall off. :eek:
 
I find my lack of imagination helps; that and fatalism. From Air Force physilogical training - we're born with a fear of falling (the physical sensation) and loud noises. The rest is pretty much acquired, and fear of heights and falling aren't necessarily connected.

You can overlay your intellect on top of the panic, with practice; focus on the most important single survival factor: if you're not IR and punch into the clouds at night, hyper focus on the AH - eff the altimeter, the DG, etc. When you settle a bit, expand your scan a little.

Your subconcious can get real ****ed at you for putting it at risk - like flying in a light aircraft, with almost no redundancy, in IMC, over water, etc.

I was flying 70 miles out over the Atlantic, in a 172, acting as a intercept target for F-16s, at night. I didn't panic, wasn't highly afraid, but was very aware it was a bad idea and not at all comfortable. I just focused real tight on the job at hand. . .didn't realize how tight I was till the enourmous sigh I let out when I got feet dry. Didn't really think about being close to TBO, or the marginal VMC, or the mid-air possibilities.
 
MauleSkinner said:
I've read that more than half of pilots are afraid of heights. It's not normally an issue in airplanes, because a fear of heights is more a fear of falling, and being in an airplane seems pretty secure.
Click to expand...

As a flight instructor I had a psychologist for a student. Very interesting person to talk with. I told him about when I am in a tall building and stand next to the window how it feels like an invisible hand is wanting to pull me out. He told me it is simply a fear of falling, not heights. Also why it doesn't bother me in a plane is because in a plane I have control and I trust the airplane. I don't trust the window.

I told him being on the roof of a single story house or at the top of a ladder doesn't bother me. He asked me if I had fallen or jumped from those heights. Yes. Did it hurt? No. Well, there you go, you have no need to fear falling from those heights.

For fun I would look up weird and obscure diseases. He would come in and I would say, "Doc, you gotta help me, I think I am suffering from Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease."

He would laugh, and I would ask him what Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease is. And without hesitation he would tell me. I never did ever stump him.

With apologies to anyone who may be suffering from Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease. No offense intended.
 
Zeldman said:
For fun I would look up weird and obscure diseases. He would come in and I would say, "Doc, you gotta help me, I think I am suffering from Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease."

He would laugh, and I would ask him what Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease is. And without hesitation he would tell me. I never did ever stump him.
Click to expand...
Do you have a lot of pain when you go "Oui, Oui"?
 
A good friend had a scaffold collapse a couple of days ago. 55 fractures. My fear is validated!
 
Not really a fear of heights ... call it "ladder transition". We live in a 2 story house with 10 foot ceilings. We used to have evaporate coolers (desert AC) which require bringing the winter shields down during spring. Was holding one (about 4ft x 4ft) and had a gust of wind nearly take me off the roof. Even without tools or equipment, I have trouble butt scooching to the ladder, and rotating to get ON the ladder near the edge because of that event. Christmas lights, no problem, as I'm ON the ladder and not transitioning to the roof ... how goofy is that?
 
As the man said to me one day,you don’t have a fear of heights,you have a respect of heights.
 
FWIW, don't ever NEVER EVER disclose this to an AME or another doctor if you want to keep flying. This could get you grounded with prejudice.

Glad you recovered. How did feel during approach and landing? Relief? Trepidation? Mixed?
 
I just paid someone else to paint my house. I grew up climbing power line poles. Never liked it, but tolerated it. I hate ladders, scaffolds, fire escapes, that DAMN glass porthole in the floor of the REI store downtown... to the point that I don't put up outside christmas lights any more.
 
So I'm guessing none of you all want to go cliff jumping (50' or so) this summer.

Man that's a blast. Wear something with soles though, hurts your feet when you hit the water.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top