Fist Fight at 38,000’ Over Farting Passenger

I once had the displeasure of sitting near to someone who smelled like Satan's anus. I looked around and never confirmed who exactly it was, but I did see others looking around as well to spot the offender. It was a long flight.
 
So where was the gaseous one from? They mentioned where the four removed passengers were from but not where Mr. Stinkybutt was from.
 
Years ago I was on a flight, and I had unrelenting meat farts burbling their way inexorably through my innards. I couldn't hold'em, and they stank something awful. It was sticky gas, the kind that's thick, heavy, and hangs around instead of dissipating. Each time I'd cut loose, I'd make a face and look around for the culprit. That's all I could do. Luckily it wasn't a long flight.
 
ETres said:
Years ago I was on a flight, and I had unrelenting meat farts burbling their way inexorably through my innards. I couldn't hold'em, and they stank something awful. It was sticky gas, the kind that's thick, heavy, and hangs around instead of dissipating. Each time I'd cut loose, I'd make a face and look around for the culprit. That's all I could do. Luckily it wasn't a long flight.
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That was you?
 
The heart medication I am currently taking has turned me into something that can only be similar to deflating the Goodyear Blimp....

I mean even the dog left the room the other day.
 
Zeldman said:
The heart medication I am currently taking has turned me into something that can only be similar to deflating the Goodyear Blimp....

I mean even the dog left the room the other day.
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Which leads to: outside a dog a book is mans best friend.
 
Zeldman said:
My wife is still with me. She spent most of her life in the Philippines and is used to sleeping with her head covered by the blanket to keep the mosquitoes away, but for some reason she has stopped that.....
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Must be that the mosquito spraying ops have been effective...
 
I taught this class at Aramco in Saudi Arabia some years ago.

There was this guy who had a very perculiar way of using the bathroom. Now for a number 2... on a western toilet you would sit. On a middle eastern toilet you would squat. This guy did neither ... he stood proudly upright, rolled up his robe and let it... uh... rip?

Well as you can imagine... a number 2 done upright does not lead to the most pleasant of smells after. It was all over his legs and feet - and he could not care less.

Now don’t get me wrong... this is neither common Arab culture nor common Muslim culture - in fact I believe it’s actually a banned practice in the Quran. But the guy did not seem to care about any of that.

So I just tried to stay 50ft away from him, but it was tough in the confines of the classroom. When you got close to him it literally took your breath away.

Fun times.
 
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deonb said:
I tought this class once at Aramco in Saudi Arabia.

Now there was this guy who... very obviously had a very perculiar way of using the bathroom. Now for a number 2... on a western toilet you would sit. On a middle eastern toilet you would squat. This guy did neither ... he stood proudly upright, rolled up his robe and let it... uh... rip?

Well as you can imagine... a number 2 done upright does not lead to the most pleasant of smells after. It was all over his legs and feet - and he could not care less.

Now don’t get me wrong... this is neither common Arab culture nor common Muslim cultate - in fact I believe it’s actually a banned practice in the Quran. But the guy did not seem to care about any of that.

So I just tried to stay 50ft away from him, but it was tough in the confines of the classroom. When you get close to him it literally takes your breath away.

Fun times.
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I’ve heard similar stories from others who have worked over there so while it might not be their common culture, it doesn’t seem to be all that rare either.
 
What do a Dutch Oven and a Dutch Airline have in common?

I guess The Flying Dutchman got grounded for failing the IMSAFE checklist.
 
I once emerged from a week in the Canadian Rockies just in time to catch my flight home. I was as rank as could be and felt horrible for those around me. It was a full flight, too.
 
steingar said:
I once emerged from a week in the Canadian Rockies just in time to catch my flight home. I was as rank as could be and felt horrible for those around me. It was a full flight, too.
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You were probably one of many. Picking up the natives that have just spent a month in fish camp that have been eating dried fish and seal oil every day, then right after comes the fisherman from the lower 48, then it is the hunters....

Hard to believe a person could get used to that, but I did every year. But the planes never lost the smell.
 
They guys who went to the Moon stank up the capsules something fierce. Never noticed until they went back a few days after the end of the mission to retrieve their stuff.
 
Lachlan said:
There’s a reason astronauts wear diapers.
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