END CRASHES! A permenant Solution to GA fatalities.

SixPapaCharlie

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So there is a major buzz on the FAA chat thing about GA safety.

Now they (Damn the man) want all GA aircraft to not only have BRS but also the Dynamic Inflatable Cushioned Kevlar System or "DICKS"

Shown here:
figD.large.gif


Once all planes have DICKS on board GA accidents will be reduced near 0 with exception to the in-flight fire or post DICKS deployment into a flock of birds.

As long as DICKS are used within the parameters survivability should be guaranteed.

It is currently in the testing phases and the biggest concern at this point is premature deployment of the DICKS which can lead to issues as prolonged usage of DICKS can cause fatigue in the system.

Due to the pressures required to use the system, it is only good for a few minutes and there is a period of time post deployment where it has to reset before it can be used again. Currently most of the test pilots are falling asleep during this period of testing. They are not sure why just yet.

Current thinking is that pilots will have to gauge how long until impact and make sure not to pull the DICKS too soon and also not too late.

The system is a joint effort by a committee formed from Cirrus and NASA currently called Ballistic Aviation Landing Lifeline Systems or "BALLS" for short.

It is a problem that BALLS has been itching to get their hands on for quite some time and now with breakthroughs in technology with regards to lighter stronger materials, BALLS has the answer. And the Answer seems to be DICKS.

"DICKS BALLS is the end all solution to aviation fatalities" said one engineer. He also noted as you would expect "Bigger planes will have bigger DICKS and nobody should be surprised by this"

When asked if older planes could be retrofitted with DICKS the response was simple "I don't know but Also I don't work here, I am just visiting my son in college and thought I would take this tour. I was right in front of you in line for the tickets."

We don't really know what to make of that but we suspect that is science talk for "Hell yes".

Once DICKS is on your plane, there are some things to consider.
DICKS must be serviced frequently and there is a fee for that.

DICKS requires a lot of maintenance as there are a lot of chemicals in the system and any sort of spillage of these substances cause major problems especially if it gets in your hair or eyes.

Service is needed when indicated when the system status light turns blue.

BALLS has thought of everything it seems.

Some of the modules on the DICKS can be ruptured after landing to help search and rescue. One of the modules if filled with bright red smoke for easy location.
The rest are filled with confetti because if you are using DICKS it means you are in a hairy situation. Studies have shown that popping a balloon full of confetti raises serotonin levels and even if it is just for a few brief moments, then it is worth spewing confetti all over a hillside.

I personally am glad to see this level of safety being brought to the GA community.

Note: Currently it is undecided if DICKS will be mandatory.
Only time will tell.
 
Are these going to be installed on rotorcraft or limited to fixed wing?
 
Are these going to be installed on rotorcraft or limited to fixed wing?

Rotorcraft is a major issue for BALLS.

They are in beta testing for the deployment add-on called Bidirectional rotating activation system or "BRAS"

"Rotorcraft pilots need BRAS." Said a fixed wing test pilot somewhere.
 
Look, we all know that DICKS, BALLS, and BRAS will only mitigate the effects of crashes, not eliminate them.

We must eliminate crashes by banning all aviation activities outside of government mandated flights! It's painful to consider but it's the only way.
 
An oversight committee will need to be formed. How about the "Syndicated National Association of the Technical Consulting Heirarchy"
 
Nothing new here. They stole the idea from the military. We had Balloon Ordnance Outer Barrier System on our helicopters in theater. They doubled as a crash attenuating device but also it could be jettisoned with marginal results against the enemy. Because it was Kevlar, after a crash scenario, you could take cover behind the two bags with protection up to 7.62 mm. In my opinion, the drag penalty involved wasn't worth the added protection.
 
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An oversight committee will need to be formed. How about the "Syndicated National Association of the Technical Consulting Heirarchy"

Sounds like a predominantly women led organization or will men be probing the issues too?
 
:) Awesome!!

This is great, however the "Committee for Low Impact and Trajectory" must be incorporated to analyze the outcome of such deployments.
 
They've had this in the experimental space for a while, known as the Soft And Cushy System, or SACs.
 
Nothing new here. They stole the idea from the military. We had Balloon Ordnance Outer Barrier System on our helicopters in theater. They doubled as a crash attenuating device but also it could be jettisoned with marginal results against the enemy. Because it was Kevlar, after a crash scenario, you could take cover behind the two bags with protection up to 7.62 mm. In my opinion, the drag penalty involved wasn't worth the added protection.


Especially since most folks "we" tend to get in firefights with, have AKs chambered in 7.62... Haha. ;)

Deflated saggy BOOBS aren't very fun. :)
 
On long flights where DICKS may get wet you might want the Protective Underwater Survival System Y model. The Continental Online Nautical Demarcation Observation Marker may also be helpful to prevent issues from Stragegic Tramsmission Drop.
 
sad part about it is if your DICKS fails you'll most likely leave a gaping hole. and with the material it's most likely to be a stinky hole at that. if this happens and you're high enough, you just might bounce and leave two stinkin holes right next to each other. but that would be a shocker.
 
With use of the Continental Online Nautical Demarcation Observation Marker system, it reduces the possibilities of getting the Coordinated Layover Associated Placement...

On long flights where DICKS may get wet you might want the Protective Underwater Survival System Y model. The Continental Online Nautical Demarcation Observation Marker may also be helpful to prevent issues from Stragegic Tramsmission Drop.
 
sad part about it is if your DICKS fails you'll most likely leave a gaping hole. and with the material it's most likely to be a stinky hole at that. if this happens and you're high enough, you just might bounce and leave two stinkin holes right next to each other. but that would be a shocker.

Well, and that is actually a good point which is why they are looking into a temporary aeronautical inflatable nylon tarp or "TAINT" which can be deployed at the same time to prevent any unwanted entry into said holes.

They really are on their A game at BALLS.
 
Well, and that is actually a good point which is why they are looking into a temporary aeronautical inflatable nylon tarp or "TAINT" which can be deployed at the same time to prevent any unwanted entry into said holes.

They really are on their A game at BALLS.

If you read carefully, TAINT just covers the exposure between the holes....
 
There be genius among us.
 
If you read carefully, TAINT just covers the exposure between the holes....

I wondered about that and I am starting to secretly suspect this committee is really backed by the "Association of New Aeronautical Limitations".

Something just stinks about this on the whole.
 
just make sure to abide by the placard that states "Exit Only"
 
I wondered about that and I am starting to secretly suspect this committee is really backed by the "Association of New Aeronautical Limitations".

Something just stinks about this on the whole.

It can be a tight situation...
 
What about that model released for those that like to fly on humid days.

Severe Weather Expandable and Absorbent Trackable Yarn Ballistic Aviation Landing Lifeline Systems
 
:) Awesome!!

This is great, however the "Committee for Low Impact and Trajectory" must be incorporated to analyze the outcome of such deployments.

No pilot has ever been able to find that particular committee.
 
Santa is all about safety on the sled, too. Did you guys see the article about how he combines his Crashworthy Heavy Occupant Crew Obstruction Lateral Abort Tipover Education course, with the newly installed Safety Annunciator Lateral Tipover Yawmeter as well as BALLS, for safe departures from house roofs that don't provide a level runway?

Very cool stuff.
 
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