Donut Etiquette

My dad did the same thing (except he was a Navy officer.) Going in to some branch of the military just seemed like a given since it was literally about the only life I knew. Because of my eyesight at the time (I got Lasik later), I could never have became a military pilot. I enlisted in the Army because at the time, they had a program where you could go in with two years of college, get a commission, and make the last two years up later. I didn't follow up on the commission, but I did do my four years and left as an E5, with a nice fat college fund.
I actually liked the Navy. I was in helicopter squadron. I worked a lot on the flight deck and I loved being out to sea. I also liked all the places I went to. I too left as a an E5. I was an ADJ2. I used my GI bill for college as well. It ended up being good for me and overall it was not a bad experience. I just hated the BS. If they had treated me like a human being I certainly would have liked it better. It is just that I don't like being lorded over. I don't mind having a boss, I've had a boss my entire working life, I just don't like having to pay homage to my boss and everyone else's boss at every corner. I would do anything to avoid saluting an officer.
 
I actually liked the Navy. I was in helicopter squadron. I worked a lot on the flight deck and I loved being out to sea. I also liked all the places I went to. I too left as a an E5. I was an ADJ2. I used my GI bill for college as well. It ended up being good for me and overall it was not a bad experience. I just hated the BS. If they had treated me like a human being I certainly would have liked it better. It is just that I don't like being lorded over. I don't mind having a boss, I've had a boss my entire working life, I just don't like having to pay homage to my boss and everyone else's boss at every corner. I would do anything to avoid saluting an officer.

Yeah the Navy would have been cool, but I was a younger, stupider person influenced by the prospect of getting towed on a surfboard by a Huey down a Southeast Asian river like in the movie Apocalypse Now. I know it's kind of stupid as we speak, but back then that movie inspired me to go Army Infantry. I was in the First Cavalry, the unit depicted in that movie. I was an 11B, except after going to the Cav I became an 11M, Bradley mech infantry. I' don't regret it for a second. I worked S2 and S3 as an ops sergeant, and had a f*** blast.
 
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speaking of donuts, that's what I got in my logbook for the month of March.....a big fat donut. 0 hours in March, wtf. just went to get checked out in that overpriced cherokee and winds were gusting pretty hard so we rescheduled for Sunday. stinking donut.

What do you get when you divide a zero by zero? :)

Seems like an invaluable skill when it comes to the future defence of the nation and all that...:rolleyes:

Oh, I suppose if you're down to the last box of ammo, it might help keep chances even... Haha.

Yeah the Navy would have been cool, but I was a younger, stupider person influenced by the prospect of getting towed on a surfboard by a Huey down a Southeast Asian river like in the movie Apocalypse Now. I know it's kind of stupid as we speak, but back then that movie inspired me to go Army Infantry. I was in the First Cavalry, the unit depicted in that movie. I was an 11B, except after going to the Cav I became an 11M, Bradley mech infantry. I' don't regret it for a second. I worked S2 and S3 as an ops sergeant, and had a f*** blast.

Heh, if you'd have been with my dad's task force(s), maybe they could have figured out a way for you to ride on a minesweeping sled. Hahaha. Boom. Not that they actually found many mines with them, mostly PR. Especially after leaving VN and heading to the Suez. Just Carter making folks feel better about whether or not they were there or not. They mostly weren't. But a surfboard might have been cheaper than the sleds or the later magnetic pipe thing.
 
Oh, I suppose if you're down to the last box of ammo, it might help keep chances even... Haha.

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Hahahaha. I had that conversation one time. It came up in a training exercise when I was a police officer. I told them that if they shot up all their ammo and didn't hit whoever it was they were shooting at, they weren't getting any of mine to waste.
 
Yeah the Navy would have been cool, but I was a younger, stupider person influenced by the prospect of getting towed on a surfboard by a Huey down a Southeast Asian river like in the movie Apocalypse Now. I know it's kind of stupid as we speak, but back then that movie inspired me to go Army Infantry. I was in the First Cavalry, the unit depicted in that movie. I was an 11B, except after going to the Cav I became an 11M, Bradley mech infantry. I' don't regret it for a second. I worked S2 and S3 as an ops sergeant, and had a f*** blast.

So did you ever get to Vung Tau?
I spent some of the best time I can't remember in Vung Tau.
 
So did you ever get to Vung Tau?
I spent some of the best time I can't remember in Vung Tau.

Just for clarification, I am not a Vietnam vet (although I am a vet.) I'm not nearly old enough to be one. I have however been to Vietnam and yes I love Vung Tau.
 
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Do you know I probably actually would have eaten the apple fritter and/or the cherry Danish except I DON'T WANT A ******N LEFTOVER HALF-DONUT!!!

If I sound angry it's because I am.
 
I appears as if this problem would solve itself if knives were removed from the breakroom.
 
We have a whole counter drawer filled entirely with knives. Mostly on the large size. Besides if we eliminated the knives then the scissors would get all sticky.
 
I'm not sure what the story is there, other than the lady appears to be engaged in a bowel movement.

He means 40% of each pastry is gone, except that donut, that looks like 100% there to me.
 
I agree with your coworkers on one thing: coconut has not place on a donut.
 
Here's an experiment - keep bringing in smaller and smaller donuts until you find the size where they don't get cut in half. But you might find someone that cuts off a quarter, then tales the 3/4. Dunno. Around my parts we don't dismember pastries, go big or go home.
 
Here's an experiment - keep bringing in smaller and smaller donuts until you find the size where they don't get cut in half. But you might find someone that cuts off a quarter, then tales the 3/4. Dunno. Around my parts we don't dismember pastries, go big or go home.

I've seen these fools cut cookies in to quarters.
 
WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?

If I can roll all the way back to the original message.

We don't like other people's cast offs. We are pre-dispositioned to not share germs by reusing someone else's nest, their shoes, loin cloth or eating food after them. Perhaps it's a genetic adaptation which helped our ancestors not get sick as often. Maybe it's cultural.

After all, if you don't eat that half doughnut*, it's just going to get thrown away. So eat up, it's just my trash!

*Note the proper spelling of the word as used by the Krispy Kreme organization. Any other spelling or mutilation of the word doughnut is not proper English. There can be only one doughnut and it's made with grease, sugar and air and best eaten within 60 seconds of coming out of the fryer.
 
If I can roll all the way back to the original message.

We don't like other people's cast offs. We are pre-dispositioned to not share germs by reusing someone else's nest, their shoes, loin cloth or eating food after them. Perhaps it's a genetic adaptation which helped our ancestors not get sick as often. Maybe it's cultural.

After all, if you don't eat that half doughnut*, it's just going to get thrown away. So eat up, it's just my trash!

*Note the proper spelling of the word as used by the Krispy Kreme organization. Any other spelling or mutilation of the word doughnut is not proper English. There can be only one doughnut and it's made with grease, sugar and air and best eaten within 60 seconds of coming out of the fryer.

Sorry, can't go there. Putting the "ugh" in "donut" is akin to spelling ketchup "catsup."
 
Sorry, can't go there. Putting the "ugh" in "donut" is akin to spelling ketchup "catsup."

Funny - I can't go with eating the ones not made out of dough. If I wanted nuts, I'd go buy a jar of Planter's.
 
Well they're not dough unless they are undercooked, right?
 
[snip of anthropological explanation]
After all, if you don't eat that half doughnut*, it's just going to get thrown away. So eat up, it's just my trash!
[snip of the etymological explanation]


And as trash, it has no calories. Win-win.
 
We have a whole counter drawer filled entirely with knives. Mostly on the large size. Besides if we eliminated the knives then the scissors would get all sticky.
No, I would simply break off a piece. :biggrin:
 
Just get there first and take a big bite of every one!
 
What kind of monster mutilates a donought* like that? Either eat the whole donut, or GTFO of the break room.

*because putting the ugh in the wrong place amuses me
 
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Okay so I get this email flash across my computer, "Donuts are in the breakroom, regards, Admin" and I immediately bolt from my desk. This is what I found. The only item, the ONLY ITEM I even have the slightest bit of interest in has already been molested! The apple fritter!
 
That looks like when mama duck gets run over and the baby ducks are milling around wondering what to do.
 
Well see the powdered one in the corner? It was some jelly filled thing. There is a quarter of it remaining and the damn thing looks like it's bleeding to death.
 
I tried to preempt this activity in my office by purchasing two dozen donut holes. That way folks don't have to cut the freaking donuts and leave random chunks of deep fried goodness laying around. No such luck. The donut holes were left untouched, and the donuts continued to be mutiliated. All day long, I thought of another word that has "holes" in it.
 
Well see the powdered one in the corner? It was some jelly filled thing. There is a quarter of it remaining and the damn thing looks like it's bleeding to death.
I think I saw a Japanese horror movie like that.
 
Now we are down to the maple bar, and... you got it, one half each of both sprinkled donuts. Nobody seems to want the maple bar.
 
I like doughnuts. I'll even eat a stale one now and then -but - dang, these will be 5 years old on the 21'st of the month.
 
Now we are down to the maple bar, and... you got it, one half each of both sprinkled donuts. Nobody seems to want the maple bar.

I'll take the maple bar. As long as it's not a cake donut. Those things are for communists.
 
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