Donut Etiquette

Have you considered just throwing the whole box of donuts into the garbage when someone cuts into one? You have to take a stand. This tyranny has got to stop.
When Chris takes control of our country, cutting a donut in half is punishable by six months hard labor in a federal pound me in the ass prison. Cutting a bite out of a donut would be a minimum twelve months hard labor in a federal pound me in the ass prison.
 
Matthew said:
That pink-icing thing will be there for a while. ISIS hates pink-icing things.
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Hey. That's cherry and they're actually pretty good if someone already molested the chocolate cake ones.

But y'all missed the important part. That donut box needs a safety pin so the pink one and the rainbow sprinkles one knows the breakroom is a safe space.

Well until one of the psycho staff comes after them with a knife anyway... ;)
 
I seem to have missed the reason why cutting donuts with a knife is a bad thing. Is it better to take the whole thing and toss the part you don't eat in the trash?
 
Everskyward said:
I seem to have missed the reason why cutting donuts with a knife is a bad thing. Is it better to take the whole thing and toss the part you don't eat in the trash?
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You are kidding, right? Sharing a donut is a very personal choice and is not to be made lightly. It's best to just consume the entire donut and not risk the exposure possible with anonymous donut sharing.
 
Clark1961 said:
You are kidding, right? Sharing a donut is a very personal choice and is not to be made lightly. It's best to just consume the entire donut and not risk the exposure possible with anonymous donut sharing.
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Hmmm. So sharing a donut is like making a personal commitment to the sharer, and some don't want to share with an anonymous person? Do I have that right?
 
Everskyward said:
I seem to have missed the reason why cutting donuts with a knife is a bad thing. Is it better to take the whole thing and toss the part you don't eat in the trash?
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I think you need to give yourself a timeout and consider this.


If I pulled out your can of Pepsi, drank half of it then put it back would that be okay?
 
Everskyward said:
Hmmm. So sharing a donut is like making a personal commitment to the sharer, and some don't want to share with an anonymous person? Do I have that right?
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I'm not a moral authority or anything but I do draw the line a anonymous donut sharing. Who knows what that could lead to but I see possible newspaper headlines, 60 minutes segments, even interpol investigations into shared donut trafficking. Just say no to the partial hole! Let's make 'murica grate again!
 
Acrodustertoo said:
I think you need to give yourself a timeout and consider this.


If I pulled out your can of Pepsi, drank half of it then put it back would that be okay?
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That example would be like taking a bite of a donut and putting it back. Cutting a donut with a knife is more like opening a can of Pepsi and pouring half of it into a cup, only its harder with a can to see how it was divided. I would hesitate if I saw lip prints.
 
Everskyward said:
That example would be like taking a bite of a donut and putting it back. Cutting a donut with a knife is more like opening a can of Pepsi and pouring half of it into a cup, only its harder with a can to see how it was divided. I would hesitate if I saw lip prints.
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It makes no difference if the donut was cut with a knife or placed inside a sealed chamber where skilled surgeons sliced it in half.

Leave the damn donuts alone!! If you cannot eat a whole then move along and have a couple grapes.
 
A donut requires a certain amount of personal commitment. If you can't be in a monogamous relationship with that donut, it deserves to be free to find fulfilling happiness elsewhere, lovingly wrapped in someone else's paper towel half and not be casually used and tossed aside as if it meant nothing.
 
mscard88 said:
I think that Sac wouldn't even mentioned this at all if the donuts were individually lettuce wrapped. ;)
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I'm surprised Sac would eat a donut, or a half a donut, even if it was lettuce-wrapped...
 
Matthew said:
A donut requires a certain amount of personal commitment. If you can't be in a monogamous relationship with that donut, it deserves to be free to find fulfilling happiness elsewhere, lovingly wrapped in someone else's paper towel half and not be casually used and tossed aside as if it meant nothing.
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I think Matthew comes closest to getting the real point here. Once you've cut a donut, you've compromised it. You've claimed it. You've marked it. You have metaphorically peed on it to claim it. It is now damaged goods for anyone else that may have wanted it. You've diminished the eating experience for whomever would have otherwise wanted to eat it.

And that even applies to the other donut cutters too. I've seen it. I have photographic evidence of it. You will find two halves of an identical donut cut from two separate donuts sitting in the same box. The donut cutter would rather DEFILE AN IDENTICAL DONUT rather than simply EAT THE SECOND HALF OF THE SAME.
 
Matthew said:
A donut requires a certain amount of personal commitment. If you can't be in a monogamous relationship with that donut, it deserves to be free to find fulfilling happiness elsewhere, lovingly wrapped in someone else's paper towel half and not be casually used and tossed aside as if it meant nothing.
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You are OK with cutting paper towels in half but not donuts?
 
Everskyward said:
You are OK with cutting paper towels in half but not donuts?
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Believe it or not, we have actually addressed this problem. We buy paper towels in rolls that tear in to half the width of the standard paper towel sheet. No need to cut the paper towels. I'm not saying that they wouldn't get cut, I'm just saying there is no need to.
 
Sac Arrow said:
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Believe it or not, we have actually addressed this problem. We buy paper towels in rolls that tear in to half the width of the standard paper towel sheet. No need to cut the paper towels. I'm not saying that they wouldn't get cut, I'm just saying there is no need to.
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If the towels are perforated to tear in that width they are not a half a paper towel. :biggrin:
 
Sac Arrow said:
. The donut cutter would rather DEFILE AN IDENTICAL DONUT rather than simply EAT THE SECOND HALF OF THE SAME.
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Just in case someone metaphorically peed on it.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Believe it or not, we have actually addressed this problem. We buy paper towels in rolls that tear in to half the width of the standard paper towel sheet. No need to cut the paper towels. I'm not saying that they wouldn't get cut, I'm just saying there is no need to.
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I buy those too. I seldom need a full-size one. And a roll lasts twice as long.
 
Who, me? No, there was a box of donuts yesterday but it succumbed to the masses before the donuts could crumb from together by knife.
 
Rut row Rastro.... a new donut shop opened near me.

As for the problem of leaving part of the donut, you simply need a knife that leave the cut part looking like someone bit it off. The last half will not get eaten and the conservation police will go after the perp for wasting resources.
 
tlglenn said:
Buy donut holes. I don't recall ever seeing half a hole left behind.
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That's the amazing thing. I've tried and have bought donut holes. They remain untouched, yet the donuts continue to be molested.

This last go-around, someone actually TOUCHED several of the donuts and ripped them. Yes, embeded thumb prints into the remaining donuts left in the box. While this is already unsettling, the fact that many of the eaters of the donuts are from a group that regularly do not wash their hands after using the restroom.
 
Yikes! Watch out for the "chocolate sprinkles"! o_O


rtk11 said:
This last go-around, someone actually TOUCHED several of the donuts and ripped them. Yes, embeded thumb prints into the remaining donuts left in the box. While this is already unsettling, the fact that many of the eaters of the donuts are from a group that regularly do not wash their hands after using the restroom.
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If I could be assured that the doughnut cutter touched only the part THEY were going to eat, and didn't breathe heavily whilst standing over the container, I might consider the other half.

I would have to witness the cutting myself.

I agree though; who eats half a doughnut?!?!? That's what doughnuts EAT!!! You're not a doughnut!!! You eat a whole one like a reasonable human being, or find a willing "doughnut buddy" who actually wants to go halvsies.

If calories are an issue, go back to your grapefruit and leave the fatty stuff to us experts.
 
It's the one subject I'm anal about.
 
I cut donuts all the time, nothing like a plain donut, cut perpendicular to the donut hole center, then popped in the toaster. Add a little butter, I can't think of a better breakfast meal.
 
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