What is it with eating while driving? Is it the ultimate form of laziness? Are people in that much of a hurry? Do they really need food that badly? I just don't get it.
I can't tell you why I did it, but long ago in a galaxy far far away...
A friend of mine likes to recount that I'm the only person he's ever seen who simultaneously drove my old Ford pickup truck with my knees, stick shift, in traffic, shifting, while eating a burger and fries, drinking a drink, talking on the ham radio, and finishing it all off with a smoke while sipping the last of the large Diet Coke. LOL.
I don't do stupid chit like that anymore. But I must have scared and/or impressed him with the multitasking that day. LOL. Funny thing is, I don't even remember doing it. I suspect I was picking him up from home to give him a ride to the office during lunch break.
It was the days when we were both at the startup and I'm surprised a cell phone call (in the days before Bluetooth or anything hands-free) didn't come in also, since that was a common battery-busting occurrence back then, too. Maybe one did. Hahaha.
For a "modern" sorry, the other night I felt like a burger and Karen was out of town, so I stopped ata McDs and went for drive thru since I had the doggies with me in the truck. I parked in the strip mall parking lot and tuned on something dumb, don't remember if it was talk radio or a podcast, and proceeded to eat. Poked some posts into PoA with my phone. Answered a call from a friend on the hands free when it came in. And sent a couple of work Slack messages to answer a couple of questions that dinged.
All of a sudden there's an old beater Toyota 4Runner pulling up next to me and a heavily tatted and pierced young dude walking toward my window motioning me to open it. Hmm. Okay. I partially open the window and he starts without prompting... meanwhile I know where the um, protection device is and know it can be drawn if needed, but not particularly worried about this kid. Just aware he's kinda agitated. Fidgety.
"Do you know the owner of that car!?" He points forward of my truck in the general direction of a POS white Geo Tracker that's seen better days parked on the edge of the parking lot.
"Nope! Why? Is it abandoned or something, or do you need it moved?"
"No man." He pauses seemingly lost for words but he keeps his distance to my truck... "See, you've been sitting here for an hour and well, I saw you here when I drove by an hour ago and... well that's my girlfriends car and ... well... you've been sitting here for an hour."
"Yeah, well... sorry, don't know her." I've been admiring his all bright green studs and ear hole things. The kid knows how to color coordinate with his hair highlights. Even has a green belt buckle to match all his hardware. He looks like a modern leprechaun and I'm suppressing the urge to laugh at that a little bit.
"Yeah but I drove by an hour ago and you're still sitting here!"
"Don't know what to tell ya son, I ate a burger and gave a bite to my dogs and was doing some work here on my phone when you drove up."
He's kinda stunned. Unsure what to say now, he's stuck on a loop.
"Okay well I drove by about an hour ago going that way, and that's my girlfriend's car and you're still here..."
I shrugged and smiled, "Yeah, going to head home soon. My wife is out of town so just grabbing some dinner." At this point the rescue doggy girl who is loud and obnoxious about defending her space but a complete chicken about actually doing it has started growling and barking at leprechaun boy. Normally I'd tell her to knock it off but a) She doesn't really listen when she's in "my truck" mode anyway, and b) Letting her growl and bark at him at this point is fine by me.
He runs out of words and I can see he's relaxing and thinking about leaving. I help him mentally along...
"Hey it's nice of you to check. I'm sure she would appreciate it. Have a nice evening!" And I hit the window up button while pretending to turn my attention back to my phone. I'm really just watching him with my peripheral vision to make sure he doesn't decide to go all "I'm the boyfriend" on me or the truck. Haha.
He walks to his 4Runner and drives across the parking lot. Probably thought I would think he was leaving. He parks and then probably calls the girlfriend inside the storefronts somewhere there in the strip mall. I'm chuckling now. I think for a minute about moving my truck to park somewhere right behind him and see if he notices. LOL. But I'm not that much of a dick. Haha.
Anyway, I stuff all the wrappers from the dash into the fast food bag and head on home. Green Stud, gets the "Real American Paranoid Boyfriend Hero" Bud Light award for the evening. Hahaha.
So... that shows a typical fast food stop for me. I probably should have just gone home and made a sandwich. Hahahhahah. But he was more entertaining than TV.