I wish that I had the capability to go back and re-read your very first post. You are a different woman now.
Bob Gardner
Found it but that site ain't easy, it took forever.
Hitting a wall in your flight training (long)
Hello,
I realize a negative / frustrated post might not be the best thing to put here for my first time visiting the site but I don't have many pilot friends (yet), especially female ones, and I got really upset on my last flight lesson.... thinking of quitting. I was hoping that when my flight instructor told me "this happens to 95% of pilots" he wasn't joking.... have any of you ever felt overwhelmed or upset with yourself, especially pre-solo? I mean, I want to succeed . . . perhaps this is actually hurting and not helping my progress.
Some background:
(I don't have my log book in front of me so this is approximated) - At one non-towered airport, in mostly one plane, with only one instructor, roughly 1-4 lessons per week, I have about 25 hours, with roughly 30 - 50 landings (only recently did I do a few with the controls all by myself so he may be conservative compared to other teachers) and as far as I know I have done all of the pre-solo lessons such as ground ref maneuvers, stalls, steep turns, slow flight, emergencies, different kinds of landings and takeoffs, different airports, class D airspace, all sorts of interesting stuff. I have had at least 10 - 20 lessons, each lasting 0.5 - 2.0 hours. My instructor even joked he "almost got out of the plane" when I had the softest landing on Sunday and he's talking about a "pre-solo quiz" which I studied for based on what I think it may cover: FARs, my airplane (limitations, v-speeds, systems), emergency procedures, what I can and cannot do as a solo pilot etc.... I think I got so worked up about "making it" that I totally screwed up my last 10 landings and even some takeoffs! He started helping with the controls again and I got really down on myself for this thinking: WTF?
Here were some of my thoughts on Sunday written down out of pure frustration:
I am sorry if you think this is about you stepping out of the plane, or about only landings landings landings - it is not. It is about me getting better on every maneuver. No one wants to spend weeks or months still losing or gaining altitude in the traffic pattern or "out there", still not coordinated in turns, still forgetting to pull up the flaps after taking off, still stumbling on the radio for the right words or forgetting to announce at all on half the legs or even on takeoff.... not having time or ability to change a radio frequency in coordinated slow flight or even pick up a checklist while spiraling to the ground with plenty of time...takeoffs that are still far from keeping the centerline, forgetting runway numbers or responses from ATC radio, not turning crosswind / downwind / base at the right time or doing anything abeam the numbers, not understanding (at all) wind / wind directions / wind corrections and how wind affects speed/ distance / headings, I could go on for days.
Absolutely unacceptable. Going backwards just doesn't make sense or feel good - there is no way that anyone would want to travel back in time. Maybe I just don't really have what it takes. And don't tell me "anyone can fly" - maybe some people cannot. Maybe I am one of them. I don't want to continue if this is hopeless.... I'm sometimes lost in the cockpit, I can't find anything on the ground (like the airport!), I don't hear / understand what is being said on the radio or retain it, I can't even tell you after a flight what we did the hour before or I confuse one event with another. And no pen and paper allowed? How can I remember anything? Maybe I have some kind of learning disability - you tell me what we are going to do, before and after we do it and while we are doing it too.... so by now it should be instinct. I have never felt so useless, honestly maybe I shouldn't fly since it is only going to get harder (Math, planning, weight and balance, maps and flight time calculations, IFR and foggles etc). I don't know what to do and I've spent god knows how many thousands of dollars already on flight lessons, and the courses and the equipment and the books and the memberships and everything and I'm not even 1/3 done.
Somtimes I think I might not show up again. But - who would? Who would show up to fly more airport patterns and make more mistakes? On stuff that should be simple by now? At airports the god damned pilot can't even see right under the plane's wing (example, shouldn't I have looked at runway numbers and then figured out that if I pointed my plane that way, towards that exact heading, I would be lined up with the runway? Why didn't I think?)
It was said to ATC were were south / southeast of STS and the compass was not pointing... let's just say I couldn't figure out what that meant and leave it at that. Doing the compass calculations to figure out where we are in relation to things affects airports, wind corrections on landing / takeoff/ general flight, everything. Multi-tasking in the cockpit, often can't do that either. So, no vision in air, no sight of traffic or airports, no compass understanding, no wind understanding, not able to listen and retain instructions, etc etc etc.
I'm pretty sure this pilot thing just isn't a skill I can handle... has any CFI ever told students to take up piano or golf instead? With their experience, CFI's should know who can fly and who can't. So it would be nice to know if I'm a piano player.
Is it too early to decide? My instructor says this close to solo it would be a waste to stop now, I've come so far, I'm at one of those "don't turn back now" points in time.
I re-read this post and it makes me sound like I have no confidence. In normal life, I have tons of it. Not so sure why I don't when airborne.
Thank you all in advance for any insights.
Kimberly Anne
