colon cancer let the jokes go.

saracelica

saracelica

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saracelica
OK so my father in law diagnosed with colon cancer that progressed to his lymph nodes. He's on chemo to help reduce but that's all it. can the cancer is evidentially progressive one. Anyway I don't have many outlets for this so I turn to you gals and guys. I need jokes relating to it. As benign as "it sure is a pain in the ass" to whatever. I have a thick skin so think them up and type it out. I know Ben, sacarrow won't let me down.
 
Well, if you must....

Sorry to hear about that though. At this point all you can do is help him enjoy the rest of the time he has left as much as possible I guess.
 
Sorry to hear about Dad.

I'd go with Frozen myself. As you said in the title. Let it go... let it go,..
 
I'm sorry man, there is nothing funny about cancer. Colon cancer is not a fun way to die.

If you are trying to improve his mood or lighten the situation a little may I suggest you have a conversation with him about taking good care of his daughter, and your mother in law? He will bring the jokes to the table if appropriate.

I understand you are dealing with this also, but IMHO you could have announced the purpose of the thread a little different, to each his own.

End of life issues are not a good topic for a stand up comedy skit. ;)
 
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Um, really? Jokes about colon cancer? Did I miss something?
 
Honestly, I love the attitude, but I lost my Dad to that bastard, so I can't really come up with anything to help.

There's gotta be some black humor regarding colostomy bags somewhere though. Would definitely cut down on the TSA pat downs...
 
Silver lining: maybe when he dies he'll leave you an assload of money?

These are all going to be sihtty jokes.
 
I regularly go into for Cameron Diaz (Camera in de Ass) to screen for colon cancer.
 
If they have to remove part of his intestines then I guess he will just have a semicolon
 
Take him on one last fight if you think he has the guts to go up with you
 
I would have gotten to the hospital sooner but my flight got cancer I mean cancelled cancelled.
Anyway, what brings you here?
 
When my stepfather was diagnosed with colon cancer, he joked (?) that while he was planning his bucket list, he learned that he was going to kick the bucket first.
 
"Bottom" line: Get a colonoscopy and don't wait until 50 to do it. My wife had colon cancer at 52. And another good friend's wife died from it at about the same age.
 
A year before my uncle died of Bladder Cancer, he roped me into going to Family Reunion Committee meetings. He said, just come and sit in, you won't have to do anything but listen. It was nice, the food was good.

Next thing I know, I'm being nominated as Vice President. I tried to refuse. He said, don't worry about it, I'm the President, you won't have to do anything. Reluctantly I said Okay.

I visited him in the hospital about 2 days before he passed. Last time we spoke, he asked me to keep the Family Reunion going and I said that I would. Then he went back to sleep from the pain meds. He died as sitting President. I got "promoted" by the Committee.

I've now sponsored 2 reunions with the committee's help while sitting as President. Thanks for the job, Uncle.
 
write-stuff said:
"Bottom" line: Get a colonoscopy and don't wait until 50 to do it. My wife had colon cancer at 52. And another good friend's wife died from it at about the same age.
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Yeah, that! Times 50.

I put off my colonoscopy for about 12 years. When I finally had it last year they found a couple of pre-cancerous polyps and removed them. They said if I waited much longer it would have been worse.
 
saracelica said:
OK so my father in law diagnosed with colon cancer that progressed to his lymph nodes. He's on chemo to help reduce but that's all it. can the cancer is evidentially progressive one. Anyway I don't have many outlets for this so I turn to you gals and guys. I need jokes relating to it. As benign as "it sure is a pain in the ass" to whatever. I have a thick skin so think them up and type it out. I know Ben, sacarrow won't let me down.
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So sorry to hear about your Dad. Prayers sent.
 
saracelica said:
OK so my father in law diagnosed with colon cancer that progressed to his lymph nodes. He's on chemo to help reduce but that's all it. can the cancer is evidentially progressive one. Anyway I don't have many outlets for this so I turn to you gals and guys. I need jokes relating to it. As benign as "it sure is a pain in the ass" to whatever. I have a thick skin so think them up and type it out. I know Ben, sacarrow won't let me down.
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Sara...... keeping him is good spirits will buy him more time.. Let him sit /lay there and dwell on it and the mind will make him sicker....

Joke.... If he gets a digital exam.. Is that called a data dump ???;)
 
No good jokes, sorry. The old man now has his ticket to ride. Everyone dies of something, he's going to die of cancer. The sucker metastasized and that's the end of it. Unfortunately, those colonoscopies are a damn fine idea. Unfortunately only because they don't agree at all with yours truly. You guys (and ladies) should all get them on a schedule suggested by your pet MD.

Sorry about your FIL. Sux, but like I said. Gotta die of something.
 
Thanks for prayers and whatnot. I function better with jokes I know some of you don't think this is a good post... But if it brings awareness to your health then I did good. Colonrectal surgeons song post sins so far.
 
My dad died of colon cancer. At least for him it wasn't a painful passing. Still, no jokes here.

Maybe the best thing you can do for your spouse is to promise to begin regular colonoscopies, to avoid a somewhat preventable cancer.
 
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write-stuff said:
"Bottom" line: Get a colonoscopy and don't wait until 50 to do it. My wife had colon cancer at 52. And another good friend's wife died from it at about the same age.
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Yes.

To put a finer point on it, colon cancer tends to run in the family. If 1 or more of your relatives had/have it, get checked before 50 and repeat more often. And spread the word to the rest of your family.

My wife's Dad died from it. Her first scope found a score of precancerous things. Easily handled and not expected to impact her life at all except for more frequent exams. Several of her siblings are finding the same. Me, not so much.

Prostate massages all around and happy holidays.
 
This thread is starting to make me feel guilty..... I am hitting 60 next year and have not had ANY kind of check up /test ...( other then the 3rd class medical ) in 30 years......

I guess I need to schedule something one day....:rolleyes:
 
N801BH said:
I guess I need to schedule something one day....:rolleyes:
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Yup, ya really should. The prep is a bother but the procedure is painless...and ya git cool pictures of the inside!
 
Clark1961 said:
Yup, ya really should. The prep is a bother but the procedure is painless...and ya git cool pictures of the inside!
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I consider anything between the head and waist to be the "gizzards""...

So I get kool pics of some of my gizzards huh ??:dunno:...

Do I get to send the bill to Obamacare?:dunno:
 
N801BH said:
Do I get to send the bill to Obamacare?:dunno:
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Most of the bill goes to insurance...it's preventative care right up until they snip a polyp but if they code it right it's all covered.
 
N801BH said:
I consider anything between the head and waist to be the "gizzards""...

So I get kool pics of some of my gizzards huh ??:dunno:...

Do I get to send the bill to Obamacare?:dunno:
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Mine cost about $20. The prep cost $50. Insurance picked up the rest of it.
 
steingar said:
No good jokes, sorry. The old man now has his ticket to ride. Everyone dies of something, he's going to die of cancer. The sucker metastasized and that's the end of it. Unfortunately, those colonoscopies are a damn fine idea. Unfortunately only because they don't agree at all with yours truly. You guys (and ladies) should all get them on a schedule suggested by your pet MD.

Sorry about your FIL. Sux, but like I said. Gotta die of something.
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He doesn't have to die of cancer. Robbing a bank a-la Swordfish may be on his bucket list, you don't know.

If anyone has seen Full Metal Jacket:
"If I'm going to die for a word, my word's Poontang".

Ah....non-sequitar...connect the dots later
 
JOhnH said:
Mine cost about $20. The prep cost $50. Insurance picked up the rest of it.
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I am coming to Fla.... my neighbor just had one done this fall here in Jackson... Bill was over 10 grand. :hairraise:...:eek:....:yikes:... I don't know yet how much insurance paid though. I will ask him at one of the christmas parties..
 
Sorry about your Dad ,go out there and help him fulfill his bucket list ,as long as he's able.
 
I think most decent insurance plans cover it at a very high %, I think I paid a co-pay, maybe $100.00. My uncle on my mom's side died of colon cancer in his early 50's, my sister had it and had surgery. She's doing fine after 5 years. I had my first exam about a year ago, piece of cake! The prep isn't a lot of fun, but the drugs they knock you out with are amazing! I can't spell it, but is prophafal (?) same stuff that Michael Jackson used,:nono: it's a very good hours sleep!! :yes:
N801BH said:
I am coming to Fla.... my neighbor just had one done this fall here in Jackson... Bill was over 10 grand. :hairraise:...:eek:....:yikes:... I don't know yet how much insurance paid though. I will ask him at one of the christmas parties..
Click to expand...
 
N747JB said:
I think most decent insurance plans cover it at a very high %, I think I paid a co-pay, maybe $100.00. My uncle on my mom's side died of colon cancer in his early 50's, my sister had it and had surgery. She's doing fine after 5 years. I had my first exam about a year ago, piece of cake! The prep isn't a lot of fun, but the drugs they knock you out with are amazing! I can't spell it, but is prophafal (?) same stuff that Michael Jackson used,:nono: it's a very good hours sleep!! :yes:
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Well. as a small business owner, I lost my great policy and I was forced into Obamacare and the exchange.. I have NO idea what it does and does not cover..:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:
 
I have a hard time finding anything funny about cancer. My dad died of Pancreatic cancer. Mom is a survivor. I am a survivor. I'm really sorry to hear about this.
 
I had the wonderful "opportunity" to have a colonoscopy at 17 years old...Really, it wasn't that bad...the prep was the ****s (Pun intended..)..but it really IS important folks...
 
Hi saracelica and everyone.
Colon Cancer is Not an imminent death sentence. Find a good Oncologist, best are at teaching hospitals. Stay with the program even if you feel like you may not be able to handle it, and chances are very good that it can be beaten.
Enjoy life and keep a positive attitude, it can be beaten and it's being done every day by thousands. TV
 
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