Bullying

Corpsmaide

Corpsmaide

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Corpsmaide
Seems like there have been more and more reports of teens committing suicide due to bullying. Do you think the bullying is worse these days? Or do you feel the bullying is the same but children are weaker?

Bullying used to take place in school, and maybe at the after school hangouts. At home you were "safe" unless you had a sibling who was a bully or other issues in the home. I feel like since so many teens are immersed in social media they are never able to feel safe from bullying even at home. Seems like it more cyber than physical. It used to be more physical back in the day.

The only bullying I have encountered growing up involved teasing. Just something I was thinking about recently. What are your thoughts? I heard in one case in Florida they are considering charges on the teens who bullied another teen to death. I don't think any charges would stick, kinda hard to prosecute, but they are working on something.
 
Not sure but I'll tell you this, Bullying is dealt with a lot more than it was 35 years ago.
 
Corpsmaide said:
Seems like there have been more and more reports of teens committing suicide due to bullying. Do you think the bullying is worse these days? Or do you feel the bullying is the same but children are weaker?

Bullying used to take place in school, and maybe at the after school hangouts. At home you were "safe" unless you had a sibling who was a bully or other issues in the home. I feel like since so many teens are immersed in social media they are never able to feel safe from bullying even at home. Seems like it more cyber than physical. It used to be more physical back in the day.

The only bullying I have encountered growing up involved teasing. Just something I was thinking about recently. What are your thoughts? I heard in one case in Florida they are considering charges on the teens who bullied another teen to death. I don't think any charges would stick, kinda hard to prosecute, but they are working on something.
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When I was in school back in 400 B.C. there were bullies. Usually some kid held back for poor grades. I got my share of bullying just like most everyone did from one huge kid when I was in middle school. When I decided I'd had enough I punched him in the face. I'd love to say I won, but he was much bigger and stronger and beat me up pretty good. Next day I punched him the face again and got beat up again. This continued for 3-4 days until he decided I wasn't as much fun to pick on as everyone else and he moved on.

Bullies are a great test for life, if we just look at the positive side and encourage kids to deal with it in some way shape or form vs. being a victim.
 
Alexb2000 said:
When I decided I'd had enough I punched him in the face. ...
Bullies are a great test for life, if we just look at the positive side and encourage kids to deal with it in some way shape or form vs. being a victim.
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Nowadays, bullies and victims are treated the same. If you punch the bully, you're suspended as well (because "violence never solved anything....")
We raise kids to be unable to deal with bullies. They can't deal with the problem kids, and the schools won't. So what does the kid do then?

I think it's a combination of us raising softer kids, together with social media and smartphones. Something embarrassing happens (or worse, it caught on a cameraphone), and everyone knows it instantly.
 
I got picked on as one of the nerds (wouldn't say bullied so much, but definitely routinely made fun of). We're talking pretty much 1990-1998 time frame. A few kids got it worse than I did, and the school never did anything about it. One day I had a story similar to Alex's, which ended up getting me suspended. It did end up working to some extent, though, so that was fine by me. Then they realized that being smart and good with computers could be to their advantage, which gave me a good opportunity to get back at them.

I think there's probably something to the social media/phones allowing for too much communication and an inability to get away from the bullies/jerks at school. I was on the beginning end of it, having my AOL account that we got in 1995. I also knew how to block incoming messages and did so whenever someone was annoying me.

Biggest problem with bullies... they don't get their asses kicked enough.
 
PilotAlan said:
Nowadays, bullies and victims are treated the same. If you punch the bully, you're suspended as well (because "violence never solved anything....")
We raise kids to be unable to deal with bullies. They can't deal with the problem kids, and the schools won't. So what does the kid do then?
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I just took the suspension, and if my kid got suspended for defending himself I'd tell him outright the school was wrong. John Wayne said something about don't go looking for a fight, but if you end up in one, make damn sure you win. I like that philosophy.
 
Kids today are all winners. There are no losers. Everyone gets a ****ing pizza party after the game. The pussification of today's youth. My 10 year old had a bully last year that picked on him and I told my boy that if the kid hurt him to whip his ass, to defend himself. I got a call that my child was involved in an altercation. I said great, he defended himself. No more issues with the other kid.

We used to settle our differences on the playground, had to run bleachers when we lost games, were disciplined when we f'd up at home. That was a different time but I'm tryin to raise my boys to be men and feminist society is not helping.
 
PilotAlan said:
Nowadays, bullies and victims are treated the same. If you punch the bully, you're suspended as well (because "violence never solved anything....")
We raise kids to be unable to deal with bullies. They can't deal with the problem kids, and the schools won't. So what does the kid do then?

I think it's a combination of us raising softer kids, together with social media and smartphones. Something embarrassing happens (or worse, it caught on a cameraphone), and everyone knows it instantly.
Click to expand...

If my kid was suspended for defending themselves from a bully (not instigating or being a bully themselves) I would take them on vacation as a reward and tell them to do the very same thing until the other guys gets tired of dealing with it. Having the courage to stand up and take an ass whipping is no easy thing to do, but it builds character. The basic laws of life cannot be circumvented by social media, nanny state schools, laws, or anything else.

Be the honey badger!:)
 
Corpsmaide said:
Seems like there have been more and more reports of teens committing suicide due to bullying. Do you think the bullying is worse these days? Or do you feel the bullying is the same but children are weaker?
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Now that kids are being taught to be offended by everything, they are ripe for bullying.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me." served me well growing up.
 
With children taught to fear everything from the losers in the educational system, strength of character is being stamped out.

Hell, if a kid defends himself these days, the idiot contingent wants to criminalize him, instantly. Between abject fear of guns, to dribbling educators trying to instill a sense of worth that says, "there are no winners in life, only those who took from others to get rich," you have a generation afraid to think for themselves, who wouldn't know how, if they were given a chance.

When half the political spectrum wants you to believe that you are a "victim" it becomes really easy to become one, and then even easier for others to treat you like one.
 
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In Jr Hi if Tommy Hogan was your friend you had no reason to worry about anybody else picking on you.
 
Henning said:
Every kid should be given a gun in 6th grade.
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Yea, that would be nice.

A school here was locked down last year because a 5th grader had a Cabela's catalog and was looking at the guns. A teacher got scared and called the cops.
 
What amazes me is everyone here believes bullies are only kids. I know more adults that are bullies then kids, just whom do you think taught the kids.
 
After school fights occured on a regular basis. I went to school when teasing was the norm. The popular kids teased the unpopular kids, the big kids teased the little kids, and fights were broken up by teacher occasionally. Suspension occurred but rarely. I was the shortest kid in the class, and was so skinny a light breeze would push me over. I learned two things, 1.if I did not stand up for myself, no one else would,
2. words do hurt, fists hurt more, but at the end of the day if I did not follow #1 the bullying would never end.

What I think is different now is that 1. bullying does not end at the end of the school day. With social media it can be 24/7. It is also much more difficult therefore to fight back.
2. Fighting back, and standing up for yourself is not encouraged. In today's zero tolerance, and everyone is great world, the things we were encouraged to do when I was a kid are frowned upon now.
3. The police state in schools todays promotes bullying, because typically the bullies never cared if they got into trouble, and would pick on kids where getting in trouble meant something. Typically the bullied kid would be told to stand up for himself, and the bullying would eventually stop. Now both kids get into trouble, and the bully wins two fold.
4. I have very few friends who do not know someone who committed suicide at a young age. I think that the numbers today(percentage wise) are probably no different than they were when I grew up, but with 24 hr news and the internet, the reporting of them is faster and more complete.(I could be wrong here)
5. The gentle, kinder world that is promoted today, increases the number of sheeps(bullied) and increases the effectiveness of the wolves(bullies). Unfortunately, from my perspective the world today is no more gentler or kinder than it was 30 years ago, and the kids today are pampered in such a way that many have no backbone. If I misbehaved in school, I was terrified to go home, because I was going to get it ten times worse than anything the school could do to me. Today, half the time a kid gets into trouble at school for misbehaving or worse, the parents are threatening the school, because their Johnny could do not wrong. What my parents did to me when I grew up, would get them a free visit from child welfare, a free stay in prison for child abuse, and my sisters and I foster parents today.
 
Henning said:
Every kid should be given a gun in 6th grade.
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When I went to school we had "race wars". We all carried pocket knifes, and you no what no one ever got stabbed, and after we "fought" the race wars we all sat together and had a good laugh.

Where my wife went to school, the guys, and some gals brought their shotguns to class. After school they all went hunting.
 
I bought a Mossberg bolt-action shotgun with money from picking cotton in sixth grade. Horrible gun, hated it from day one but no refunds on firearms from Wards or Sears or wherever I bought it.
douglas393 said:
When I went to school we had "race wars". We all carried pocket knifes, and you no what no one ever got stabbed, and after we "fought" the race wars we all sat together and had a good laugh.

Where my wife went to school, the guys, and some gals brought their shotguns to class. After school they all went hunting.
Click to expand...
 
When I was in grade school several of us boys carried pocket knives. If the teacher wanted a letter opened or a box opened she would call on one of us and we got to use our knives to help her. No, I'm not kidding, try that today. :dunno:

Never in a million years would we have even dreamed of hurting someone with them. They were tools, not weapons.
 
Alexb2000 said:
If my kid was suspended for defending themselves from a bully (not instigating or being a bully themselves) I would take them on vacation as a reward and tell them to do the very same thing until the other guys gets tired of dealing with it. Having the courage to stand up and take an ass whipping is no easy thing to do, but it builds character. The basic laws of life cannot be circumvented by social media, nanny state schools, laws, or anything else.
Click to expand...

I would completely back up my kids if they were defending themselves. There were several times when my parents backed me up with "the authoritae" when I was a kid, and they knew I was in the right.

My 4 year old has already demonstrated the ability to defend himself. I pretty much told the school that "he doesn't get mad, but he does get even". So far, my 6 year old has been smart enough to just walk away from it and refuses to engage, so would-be bullies don't get any satisfaction out of him. For those without kids - yes, these problems do really start that young.

The problem with social media bullying is that, unlike physical bullying, if the bullied kid responds in kind, or attempts a physical response, they'll likely be seen as just as guilty as the bully. I'm just trying to raise my kids to not care much about what others think (except for *the parents*, of course), so they'll hopefully be more immune to all the idiots out there.
 
PilotAlan said:
Nowadays, bullies and victims are treated the same. If you punch the bully, you're suspended as well (because "violence never solved anything....")
We raise kids to be unable to deal with bullies. They can't deal with the problem kids, and the schools won't. So what does the kid do then?

I think it's a combination of us raising softer kids, together with social media and smartphones. Something embarrassing happens (or worse, it caught on a cameraphone), and everyone knows it instantly.
Click to expand...

What he said.
 
It's the support system nowadays- totally gone.

How many parents or teachers will tell their kids to defend themselves verbally & physically if needed? How many will teach them how to effectively fight back and back them up?

How many adults will stick their necks out for something they should believe in? How many people will work for their "how do you like me now" moment?

I'm seeing a lot fewer than there used to be.

All these feel good initiatives are worthless. You want to stop bullying? Start up an after-school club, teach kids something they can learn and be proud of, instill good verbal skills, and have the local dojo number on the fridge marked "in case of need". See how fast "bullying" stops then.
 
Geico266 said:
When I was in grade school several of us boys carried pocket knives. If the teacher wanted a letter opened or a box opened she would call on one of us and we got to use our knives to help her. No, I'm not kidding, try that today. :dunno:

Never in a million years would we have even dreamed of hurting someone with them. They were tools, not weapons.
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I don't remember many who didn't carry their scout knife.
 
Seems like most of the bullying they talk about these days is electronic, not physical. I don't think kids are that different or adults either. It's just that instead of being bullied by 5 people it can easily be 50, or 500.

When I went to high school in the dark ages, like others here, I remember a girl who supposedly had a "nervous breakdown" because of being bullied. She never returned to school again. I just realized you never hear it called a nervous breakdown any more. I don't know what the term is now.
 
Everskyward said:
Seems like most of the bullying they talk about these days is electronic, not physical. I don't think kids are that different or adults either. It's just that instead of being bullied by 5 people it can easily be 50, or 500.

When I went to high school in the dark ages, like others here, I remember a girl who supposedly had a "nervous breakdown" because of being bullied. She never returned to school again. I just realized you never hear it called a nervous breakdown any more. I don't know what the term is now.
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It's called "Went psycho".
 
wabower said:
In Jr Hi if Tommy Hogan was your friend you had no reason to worry about anybody else picking on you.
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That was about how my high school went, except my friend had a more Russian name (from Siberia). He was the size of a house, a member of Fight Club, and nobody messed with him. Fortunately (for me), he and I were good friends.

1600vw said:
What amazes me is everyone here believes bullies are only kids. I know more adults that are bullies then kids, just whom do you think taught the kids.
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Agreed, but the nice part is that I got jobs where such people aren't tolerated.
 
Maybe a more important question is how do we stop bullying? :dunno:

Getting kids to realize they have be proactive in stopping it rather than joining the wolf pack?

Never understood kids that picked on weaker kids. A good punch in the nose usually cured that, but today you would be arrested for assault. What ever happened to street justice?
 
Internet/cyber adds a whole new 7x24 dimension. i.e. It seems much tougher
to withdraw to a safe(r) haven.

Also; the topic has become "fashionable" for the media. Ergo; more reporting
drives more awareness.
 
Henning said:
I never got bullied, but I was known for blowing things up.
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:rofl:


A couple of guys tried to bully me. Just never gave in, or stopped me from fighting back. They found an easier target. ;)

I liked the ol' trick..."What's that!?" And move my eyes to their right. You could see my right coming from a mile away, but not if they are not looking. ;)

'nil carborundum illegitimi'
 
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rainsux said:
Internet/cyber adds a whole new 7x24 dimension. i.e. It seems much tougher
to withdraw to a safe(r) haven.

Also; the topic has become "fashionable" for the media. Ergo; more reporting
drives more awareness.
Click to expand...

Off switch
 
I thought everybody carried a knife until I started spending time with city kids. To this day the only time I haven't carried one is when commercial travel is required.

Geico266 said:
When I was in grade school several of us boys carried pocket knives. If the teacher wanted a letter opened or a box opened she would call on one of us and we got to use our knives to help her. No, I'm not kidding, try that today. :dunno:

Never in a million years would we have even dreamed of hurting someone with them. They were tools, not weapons.
Click to expand...
 
I was bullied mercilessly as a youth being the smallest. I think it's where I developed my rapier wit (such as it is) and boundless enthusiasm to use it. No one likes being made fun of in front of others, especially when the one doing the making is doing is cleverly.

Suicide has been the major killer of teenagers for decades. There were kids that offed themselves in my school, knew one of them. The incredible connectedness we have these days with social media has probably intensified the effect, though.
 
Geico266 said:
:rofl:


A couple of guys tried to bully me. Just never gave in, or stopped me from fighting back. They found an easier target. ;)

I liked the ol' trick..."What's that!?" And move my eyes to their right. You could see my right coming from a mile away, but not if they are not looking. ;)

'nil carborundum illegitimi'
Click to expand...

One kid was going to try to beat me up, I REALLY didn't feel like getting in a fight that day. But, I knew it was about to happen. He had a sweatshirt on, he was all puffed up and started taking his shirt off, about the time he had both arms in the air and the shirt over his face, I beat the holy hell out of him. Broken nose, two black eyes. He was 3 years older, a foot taller and twice my size. Never had an issue again.
 
The one good thing that came out of being picked on when I was a kid was a healthy paranoia about keep track of my "stuff". It's harder for people to rip you off if you are careful. Oh, and my high school days were in the late 1960s.

I found the best way in junior high to get away from someone picking on me was to go to the library and read. The librarian was good about not tolerating that nonsense in her domain. :yes:

I recall one kid my brother's age who killed himself. I don't know why, it was decades ago. But, this is not a new thing. It just gets publicized more.

And the nonsense in schools about guns today? There was a kid just suspended for the year because he was playing with an air soft pistol IN HIS YARD at home while waiting for the school bus. Do that to one of my kids and there'd be a civil rights lawsuit that would bankrupt the school district. And my wife, who is a school teacher, is in full agreement.

Just got a great custom ballpoint pen from a friend that would never be allowed in schools today (TSA would probably have a fit, too). Shaped like a 30.06 round. The tip comes out of a nice copper "bullet", the other end has a good 30.06 head stamp and you run a bolt handle to extend the tip to write with it. The barrel of the pen is wood. Mine is a camo pattern. It's a ballpoint pen, for crying out loud, but the ninnies running the asylum would have a screaming fit. I want my country back!
 
There was one bully in 7th grade that one day kept swearing at our gym teacher. The teacher slammed him up against a locker. That shut him up. If that happened today, i bet the parents would be suing everyone in the school system.
 
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