At some point a parent has just got to let them fail I guess

Timbeck2 said:
It is actually McAllen Texas. The "starts with a C" thing was second hand information. And she is overnighting in McAllen tonight. I just got off the phone with her and she hates it. This "working 16 hours a day and only 3 flight hours for only $48 is bull**it." Her words, not mine. Mine were "give it a chance before you decide to hate it. Meet new people, fly different routes, etc." And I did tell her that I told her so about leaving Nashville so late, getting into Dallas at 1 am and getting up early for a flight isn't the smartest thing to do. She admitted she made a mistake and that her day tomorrow starts at 5am and she ends up in Dallas tomorrow night.
Click to expand...
In all honesty, she should have been aware of pay and schedule before day 1 on the job.
That said, if she was on duty and flew only 16 hours I’m guessing there was a mechanical or weather delay of some sort. Aircraft don’t usually sit idle for that long.
 
First trip, boyfriend almost made her late, daddy issues, low pay, stuck in Texas...

Hahaha.

Just kidding Tim, but it sounds like a train wreck if you list it out that way...

Or at least the beginnings of a good country song. :)
 
cowman said:
My wife and I are often musing on our very loving, intelligent, well meaning parents and the oh so unhelpful advice they would bombard us with in our early adulthood. I think because they raised us they still looked at us like children they had to sheppard through every little thing out of fear we'd mess everything up somehow. What often ended up happening is they'd pick and pick at us driving us nuts about some trivial thing while we were trying to focus on what we actually needed to get taken care of. I solved it within a month or two of moving out of the house- this was still before everyone had a cell phone so I just quit answering the daily phone calls. I'd call back eventually when I wasn't busy so he wouldn't call the police to check on me. I'd say I was busy and leave it there. After a couple months of this something changed, my father started treating me like an adult and our relationship got a lot better. I actually wanted to talk to him again. I think he just had to realize I was capable of taking care of myself without his constant input. My wife still has the issue with her mother, fortunately they live hours away and have other kids to bother.
Click to expand...

My daughters are the exact opposite of you as a young adult and all that implies. ;)
 
Kritchlow said:
In all honesty, she should have been aware of pay and schedule before day 1 on the job.
That said, if she was on duty and flew only 16 hours I’m guessing there was a mechanical or weather delay of some sort. Aircraft don’t usually sit idle for that long.
Click to expand...

See above and I'm sure that she was aware of it. I'm also sure that someone..okay me, warned her that her fantasy of being a flight attendant and seeing the world is something that may happen only after seeing the inside of a hotel room at night until she gets seniority.
 
I'd have to get into a Nate length explanation of why this is so, so this forum isn't really conducive to it.

But BL, women and men have a "different spanks for different ranks" styled difference in social outcomes when it comes to vocational flippancy; different impacts in pursuing temp and low paid work on one's future financial solvency, and the role hypergamy plays in these outcome differentials.
 
hindsight2020 said:
I'd have to get into a Nate length explanation of why this is so, so this forum isn't really conducive to it.

But BL, women and men have a "different spanks for different ranks" styled difference in social outcomes when it comes to vocational flippancy; different impacts in pursuing temp and low paid work on one's future financial solvency, and the role hypergamy plays in these outcome differentials.
Click to expand...


Dafuq?

You tryin' ta send it bro?
 
Dr. O said:
Eventually seniority will improve the paycheck - eventually - unless starvation sets in first.
Click to expand...

So, you're saying there's a reason young flight attendants are skinny while the older ones tend to put on some pounds?
 
jesse said:
First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.
Click to expand...
Personally I expect candidates to know the difference between precision and accuracy ;)

Nauga,
measured
 
hindsight2020 said:
I'd have to get into a Nate length explanation of why this is so, so this forum isn't really conducive to it.

But BL, women and men have a "different spanks for different ranks" styled difference in social outcomes when it comes to vocational flippancy; different impacts in pursuing temp and low paid work on one's future financial solvency, and the role hypergamy plays in these outcome differentials.
Click to expand...

Timbeck2 said:
Dafuq?

You tryin' ta send it bro?
Click to expand...

LOL... I have no damn idea what @hindsight2020 was trying to say either, @Timbeck2 ... FWIW... :)
 
I always thought hindsight had a graduate degree in English writing or something :p
 
hindsight2020 said:
Funny you mention that. PM sent so as to not derail the thread.
Click to expand...

Really? Most of us are over in the corner with dictionaries and thesauruses. Everybody, I found hypergamous. It means "marrying a person of a superior caste or class." Did anyone get MGTOW jargon?
 
Timbeck2 said:
Really? Most of us are over in the corner with dictionaries and thesauruses. Everybody, I found hypergamous. It means "marrying a person of a superior caste or class." Did anyone get MGTOW jargon?
Click to expand...

I just highlighted "hypergamy," and clicked on Search Web for the same results.

As for the other, didn't someone mention weight? Max Gross Take Off Weight popped into my mind.
 
Sorry, @hindsight2020, you need tomget outside more. And fly!

Despite PoA being an "online community," the bulk of us won't understand what you just wrote . . .

I'd go fly myself, just to clear my head after reading your last post, but it's bedtime here in Lower Alabama.
 
Mike Smith said:
In my opinion, if you are still trying to parent someone in their 20’s, It’s too late. It has been my experience that I’m done with the hard parenting somewhere late adolescence or early teens. Past that you just try to be the fence that keeps them from running off the cliff because they are already who they are going to be. I think your daughter is going to be fine. I think you have done a good job. Yes, let her succeed or fail on her on, your job as “parent” is done, just be dad now.
Click to expand...

Absolutely spot on here. By the time the children reach adulthood, parenting is pretty much giving advice _when asked_. One may not agree with the adult child’s decisions or choices, but once the child is an adult, they are pretty much who they are going to be. Beyond something like cutting off funding for college, you don’t really have any say in the matter anyway.

And after all, isn’t the goal to raise functioning adults? Does one really want to still control their children’s actions into adulthood? Do the best job one can while they are young, transition more into advice giving mode in their late teens, and then be a resource for them to use as they get into their twenties. Legally, you have no control anyway, and trying to be a controling parent of an adult child runs the serious risk that they will pretty much cut you out of their lives. I’ve seen it happen.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
Last edited:
jimhorner said:
Beyond something like cutting off funding for college, you don’t really have any say in the matter anyway.
Click to expand...
I think my very first post on this forum was about my dad doing that and the future.

I think he felt like I was making all of the wrong decisions. He made a promise when I first started that as long as I made great grades he would pay for it (which saved my ass). Grades stayed high, he said he wouldn't pay anymore.
 
nauga said:
Personally I expect candidates to know the difference between precision and accuracy ;)

Nauga,
measured
Click to expand...
“precision” has multiple definitions in the English language. The technical definition you’re referring to is definitely not the most common use of the word.
 
jesse said:
“precision” has multiple definitions in the English language.
Click to expand...

An accurate, if imprecise, statement.

jesse said:
The technical definition you’re referring to is definitely not the most common use of the word.
Click to expand...
I’m far more concerned about a job candidate’s understanding of the differences in the terms than I am about whether they arrived more than 30 seconds early for the interview.

Nauga,
and the technical interview.
 
overdrive148 said:
I think my very first post on this forum was about my dad doing that and the future.

I think he felt like I was making all of the wrong decisions. He made a promise when I first started that as long as I made great grades he would pay for it (which saved my ass). Grades stayed high, he said he wouldn't pay anymore.
Click to expand...

I am taking a different approach with my Daughter. I suggested that I might pay off her student loans if things work out, i.e. graduate, get a job or go on to grad school. But I am planning to buy her a gift card for the local coffee shop when she starts in August .
 
Morgan3820 said:
I am taking a different approach with my Daughter. I suggested that I might pay off her student loans if things work out, i.e. graduate, get a job or go on to grad school. But I am planning to buy her a gift card for the local coffee shop when she starts in August .
Click to expand...

That'd work too. I obviously preferred the way mine was arranged! He did eventually come around after a while, fortunately for me. And I did pay my own way for a few semesters towards the end.
 
She is a wonderful person, very motivated with a good head, much better than I was at her age. But university has many distractions and I want her to stay focused. Debt will do that.

I hope that things worked out with you and your Dad.
 
Morgan3820 said:
She is a wonderful person, very motivated with a good head, much better than I was at her age. But university has many distractions and I want her to stay focused. Debt will do that.

I hope that things worked out with you and your Dad.
Click to expand...

It was a bit touchy for a while but I think we were both just stressed. Everything turned out just fine fortunately. Dad instilled the fear of debt into me early on and then got me a credit card. I'm responsible with what I buy and when I can afford it with cash. Recently broke into the Excellent credit score range which is pretty nice. Not really used it yet but when I find out where we want to live it'll help out with a house at least.
 
overdrive148 said:
Not really used it yet but when I find out where we want to live it'll help out with a house at least.
Click to expand...

It’ll maybe mean a point on the mortgage rate and that they offer you WAY too big of a loan and tempt both of you to buy more house than can be easily afforded.

Silly lenders are sending me ads telling me to go buy a $1.2M house for the two of us and two dogs. Utterly stupid. Guess how I got the good credit score and out of all debt? Not by buying a million dollar house, that’s for damn sure! LOL.

Keep that mortgage on the human box to 25% of your household income or less and no more than a 15 year fixed term, and it’ll mean money in the bank later.
 
The max DTI they consider is around 41%, but that's pre-tax income. That's way more than anyone should pay for a house.
 
mtuomi said:
The max DTI they consider is around 41%, but that's pre-tax income. That's way more than anyone should pay for a house.
Click to expand...

Yeah I see those DTI numbers and just gag. Great way to put yourself in long term fiscal distress. No wiggle room.
 
From experience, and now years of proving the theory correct ...

After they are 18, but absolutely after college and first job, do not criticize. Do not give advice. Do not utter what you think is oblique reproach, no matter how mild you think you are being. Give advice only when asked, but consider carefully before speaking that what you are about to say may be construed as criticism. Praise the good stuff.

They are adults and actually prefer to make their own mistakes. Do not bail them out of the consequences of their choices. If true misfortune strikes, be there. Consider them dear friends, not someone yo are still raising. That is done.

This has been our key to having great relationships with the offspring, now 34 and 36.
 
I'm all for it Becky but there is another family member that needs to be convinced. I've been sharpening the apron string cutting scissors since they were in high school.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top