Anxious: I even cancelled my flight lesson yesterday

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XcaliburGirl

Filing Flight Plan
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XcaliburGirl
There have been similar threads to this already. Believe me, I've read them all several times. I still feel like I need to get my thoughts out.

I cancelled my flight lesson yesterday. I've got 25 hours (all dual), now flying weekly but I started with twice a week. I've been feeling distractedly anxious the day before every single flight and worse the morning of the flight. I've considered quitting, but then I read some encouraging examples of others online and push through it.

My anxiety seems to be from two main things.
1. Perfectionism and frustration at making the same mistakes repeatedly, plus not soloing yet.
2. Trepidation at being PIC, making mistakes, putting others in danger. I'm doing this for fun and because I love being in the air, and the responsibility seems to suck all the joy out of flying. I'm afraid if/when I get my private, I will avoid taking others up and eventually stop flying due to this pressure.

Yesterday, I got up early to do my flight plan for my second dual cross country. We are doing them to take a break from the pattern until I can get crosswind landings figured out.

I made a stupid mistake, like using my first true course as my wind correction angle, and had to redo several things. At this point I started my mind started wandering to the what-ifs, as in "what if this happened and my CFI wasn't there to catch it". I felt a little panicky and it broke my concentration. It was almost time to leave and my flight plan was only half done, I didn't have my weather briefing yet. All that, coupled with the doubts I've had for weeks just started overwhelming me.

Anyway, I ended up in tears and feeling so stressed that I called my CFI and cancelled. He seemed surprised, said I was a good student and not a slow learner. He pointed out that I already passed my FAA written and all my part 141 stage quizzes, so I've got the knowledge part down. He thought I was being too hard on myself, especially about the landings. We kept my next flight in two weeks on the schedule and left it at that.

I knew this was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how stressed out I would feel. When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
 
Sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself. The idea is to fly safely not perfectly. I have yet to complete a flight without thinking about things I could have done better. You will make mistakes and that is just part of the learning process.
 
Sounds like you could use a good mentor at this point.

At this point you're going to make mistakes, happens to everyone. You're learning now how to identify and correct mistakes. You need to accept that every flight will not be 100% perfect and focus on make sure every flight is as safe as possible.

So what if you started your XC flying the wrong heading...what techniques did you use to correct it? That's not exactly the same as say, pulling the mixture on a go-around.
 
Sounds like you are stressed out because you are not a 100 hour pilot at 25 hours.
Just keep flying and all of that stuff will gradually work itself out.

I recall wanting some magic switch to flip and things to suddenly make sense.
It all happens so gradually. There is no switch. Over time you will realize you are not stressing about these things because they have become a part of your abilities.

Just keep flying.
 
I have thousands of hours and many years of flying, yet I am still apprehensive before every flight. What I do to combat that is to channel my apprehension into going through all my "what if's", reviewing the course, weather, destination and alternates in great detail over and over and over. As I am sure many will tell you, flying is not an exact science, we keep making mistakes all the time, some pretty ugly and embarrassing, but the mark of a good and safe pilot is to identify each mistake and correct it before it becomes a huge safety issue. Being apprehensive is vastly better than being confident and therefore complacent.
 
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XcaliburGirl said:
There have been similar threads to this already. Believe me, I've read them all several times. I still feel like I need to get my thoughts out.

I cancelled my flight lesson yesterday. I've got 25 hours (all dual), now flying weekly but I started with twice a week. I've been feeling distractedly anxious the day before every single flight and worse the morning of the flight. I've considered quitting, but then I read some encouraging examples of others online and push through it.

My anxiety seems to be from two main things.
1. Perfectionism and frustration at making the same mistakes repeatedly, plus not soloing yet.
2. Trepidation at being PIC, making mistakes, putting others in danger. I'm doing this for fun and because I love being in the air, and the responsibility seems to suck all the joy out of flying. I'm afraid if/when I get my private, I will avoid taking others up and eventually stop flying due to this pressure.

Yesterday, I got up early to do my flight plan for my second dual cross country. We are doing them to take a break from the pattern until I can get crosswind landings figured out.

I made a stupid mistake, like using my first true course as my wind correction angle, and had to redo several things. At this point I started my mind started wandering to the what-ifs, as in "what if this happened and my CFI wasn't there to catch it". I felt a little panicky and it broke my concentration. It was almost time to leave and my flight plan was only half done, I didn't have my weather briefing yet. All that, coupled with the doubts I've had for weeks just started overwhelming me.

Anyway, I ended up in tears and feeling so stressed that I called my CFI and cancelled. He seemed surprised, said I was a good student and not a slow learner. He pointed out that I already passed my FAA written and all my part 141 stage quizzes, so I've got the knowledge part down. He thought I was being too hard on myself, especially about the landings. We kept my next flight in two weeks on the schedule and left it at that.

I knew this was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how stressed out I would feel. When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
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25hrs and no solo...

The biggest thing right off is solo, written and administrative stuff is nice, but right off the batt it's the solo.

Maybe try another CFI, but if you're feeling stressed to this extent, I'd fly with a EXPERIENCED CFI (like ATP/Gold seal experienced / recommended by higher time folks) and see what that does for ya, otherwise perhaps it's time to rethink this whole thing.
 
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While its good to be somewhat cautious and not overconfident, don't beat yourself up too much. We all will make mistakes but the sign of a good pilot is to learn from them. 25 hours is nothing. I probably have 425 or so and I still get nervous at times about certain, mainly weather, situations. And it's not a race to the finish, so take your time, be methodical and don't push too hard. Enjoy the moment. There is no prize for finishing in minimal hours. Try to take at least one thing away from every flight. Ever considered using a go pro to film your sessions? You sound like an intelligent person who studies hard. Maybe studying the results of each lesson via a recording will help. Anyway that's my 2 cents. Just keep your chin up and don't lose faith.
 
Hi, XCaliburGirl!

I have good news. As a female learning to fly, I think we are often subject to more anxiety than the men. We are naturally wired to do well, take care of others, etc etc, and I went through many of the same emotions on my journey to my PPL.

I took 20+ hours to solo, as well-- I had a hard time getting the timing right with ALL landings, not just x-wind. I stuck with it, though, and when I did solo, it was a huge weight off my mind. After that, things went better and I felt more confident.

The thing about mistakes, though, is universal to all pilots. I certainly made some during my training... and then after my training... and I continue to now, as I pursue my instrument rating. There is no such thing as perfect.

What I strive for is just to be as prepared as I can be, given the experience I have and the knowledge I've gained from that experience. You will find that time and practice are your best allies... even when you feel defeated and ready to give up.

Sticking with my training, even when I was discouraged, was the best thing I ever did. I am so proud of the accomplishment of getting my ticket at 57 years old-- it was hard, I worked for every little success, and no one did it but me.

So. I know you can do it. Please try to relax, give yourself permission to be a student (!) and the rest will come.

go fly,

Allison
 
At 25 hours this all sounds kind of normal. During training you'll hit a bunch of low points, followed by awesome high points as you get past your roadblocks. I came pretty close to quitting just before solo but gosh dangit, PoA talked me out of it, then I solo'd like a week later lol. Lows and highs, when u eventually look back you'll realize how much fun it was. Keep at it!!
 
XcaliburGirl said:
There have been similar threads to this already. Believe me, I've read them all several times. I still feel like I need to get my thoughts out.

I cancelled my flight lesson yesterday. I've got 25 hours (all dual), now flying weekly but I started with twice a week. I've been feeling distractedly anxious the day before every single flight and worse the morning of the flight. I've considered quitting, but then I read some encouraging examples of others online and push through it.

My anxiety seems to be from two main things.
1. Perfectionism and frustration at making the same mistakes repeatedly, plus not soloing yet.
2. Trepidation at being PIC, making mistakes, putting others in danger. I'm doing this for fun and because I love being in the air, and the responsibility seems to suck all the joy out of flying. I'm afraid if/when I get my private, I will avoid taking others up and eventually stop flying due to this pressure.

Yesterday, I got up early to do my flight plan for my second dual cross country. We are doing them to take a break from the pattern until I can get crosswind landings figured out.

I made a stupid mistake, like using my first true course as my wind correction angle, and had to redo several things. At this point I started my mind started wandering to the what-ifs, as in "what if this happened and my CFI wasn't there to catch it". I felt a little panicky and it broke my concentration. It was almost time to leave and my flight plan was only half done, I didn't have my weather briefing yet. All that, coupled with the doubts I've had for weeks just started overwhelming me.

Anyway, I ended up in tears and feeling so stressed that I called my CFI and cancelled. He seemed surprised, said I was a good student and not a slow learner. He pointed out that I already passed my FAA written and all my part 141 stage quizzes, so I've got the knowledge part down. He thought I was being too hard on myself, especially about the landings. We kept my next flight in two weeks on the schedule and left it at that.

I knew this was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how stressed out I would feel. When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
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I think everyone who flies responsibly has felt this way. If you're not taking it seriously enough to be apprehensive you should be worried. Crosswind landings - and landings in general - are hard to get right. I remember my "now I get it moment" with crosswind landings was when I was sitting on the taxiway waiting to take off with my CFI and watching a 727 land in a crosswind. Seeing that huge airplane with one wing up into the wind and touching down on one set of main wheels somehow gave me the right mental picture - and if that huge thing could do it safely so could I.

I also found that not all student-CFI combinations are right and if you're struggling with your instructor it may be time to find a new CFI. As far as drifting away from headings and such goes, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Get a visual picture of where you want to go and use that to adjust your heading before you worry too much about the DG/Compass heading and the math - once you get the "feel" the corrections will make sense.

You will get through this!
 
I would suggest a fee things:
1). Stick with it. At the end of your training you'll have a huge accomplishment under your belt and you'll realize that this is just the beginning of your learning experience as a pilot
2) If life and finances allow, fly more frequently - like 2-3 times per week. The more frequently you can fly the more efficiently you will progress. There will be less getting the rust out from one lesson to the next.
3) Don't sweat the small stuff. If you are realizing areas for improvement that's great. Learn, move forward, and find something else to learn. I am currently a 500-hour (and I consider myself a relative noobie) pilot and I can say for sure that I have never had a perfect flight and I can always find something to improve on during each flight.
3) you don't necessarily need to ditch your instructor if you really work well with them, but definitely fly with someone new. I would personally find an old dog of some sort who has more than 3 student solos under their belt, etc. The apprehensions of your instructor may be feeding into the anxiety that you are feeling about learning to fly. Having someone who has had all sorts of different student learning styles and has successfully trained them is invaluable in your situation. If you can find and old dog female instructor who can serve as a mentor for you, even better.
3) Purchase and use a simulator for your home computer. Fly the sim frequently between lessons. Work out the bugs from your last lesson on the sim essentially for free so you don't have to use flight time to do the same thing over and over. Use the sim to pre-fly and pre-brief your next lesson. Plan your cross country, fly it in the sim and then debrief your flight. That way you'll be as prepared as possible for your next flight. When it comes time for learning ATC, busy airspace and radio work, use the internet based platforms to practice your comma prior to flying for real. It will help shallow your learning curve immensely and your flying will become more efficient. The limitation is that the computer does not behave perfectly, so don't expect to learn crosswind technique- but use it for what you can get out of it.
4) Get your solo done. If you're competent to do it (as determined by old dog instructor), just do it. Having competed those first landings will help so much in improving your remaining learning goals during PPL training. You'll realize you can do this and you are much closer than you think.

Good luck !

Brad


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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XcaliburGirl said:
...I love being in the air, and the responsibility seems to suck all the joy out of flying.

When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
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You love being a passenger, not the pilot. A pilot loves thinking about the things that make you anxious and how to perfect them.

dtuuri
 
Everything you're experiencing is perfectly normal, and everyone goes through it to some degree or another. If you can figure out a way to reduce your anxiety (preferably NOT pharmacological) you will engender for yourself a more positive experience. Whatever you do don't quit. You'll never forgive yourself, ever.

Ohh, and welcome to POA.
 
All the best. I'd keep at it. If possible fly some in a casual environment, like a fellow experienced pilot nearby.
 
Stingray Don said:
Sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself. The idea is to fly safely not perfectly. I have yet to complete a flight without thinking about things I could have done better. You will make mistakes and that is just part of the learning process.
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This is spot on.

Understand that you'll make mistakes as a student and once you get your license. Learn from them and move on.

Good luck and welcome to POA,

Sam
 
I use to get nervous before every flight thinking about all sorts of things. The second I sat in the plane and hit the starter, it all disappeared. That hasn't happened for a while now. If you didn't have it, your instructor would tell you. It sounds like he believes in you and that is a good sign.

Don't get discouraged by people that soloed in 6 hours. That is the exception, not the rule. Learn at your own pace. You love it and are doing it for fun, don't feel the need to rush it at all.
 
I think most people hit a spot where they aren't sure they can do it. It passes. Flew with a girl yesterday who was around 150 hrs. She was still little unsure or uncomfortable but did fine. Myself, when I haven't flown for awhile will try to go to airport day before and fly a little to brush off cobwebs before taking passengers on long trip and to preflight the plane partially. Still check next day before leaving.
 
As everyone else has said you can never be perfect! Humans aren't born with the ability to fly airplanes, heck it's only been around for ~113 years. With time you will learn. We don't even drive a car perfectly every time. Flying isn't about being perfect it's about being diligent enough to realize when you make an error and have the ability to promptly and safely correct it!

Another thing I've always said to everyone I know and I live by it as well. Never be nervous. Being nervous never helped anyone. People often wonder why in high stress environments or with a big check coming up my attitude doesn't seem to change. It's because of that, being nervous will never help you! Just go forth and learn!
 
XcaliburGirl said:
There have been similar threads to this already. Believe me, I've read them all several times. I still feel like I need to get my thoughts out.

...

I knew this was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how stressed out I would feel. When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
Click to expand...

One thing to keep in mind, there is a psychological phenomena where competent people tend to overestimate the competence of others, and less than competent people tend to overestimate their own competence. This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect, and is (in my opinion) a very important thing to understand about life.

It's possible (but I do not know) is that your competence is causing you to be aware of your mistakes where as more blissfully ignorant folks are just thrilled about their relative awesomeness. Again it's impossible for me to know, but sometimes, knowing what you're not doing well, isn't a sign that you aren't doing well, but is a sign that you are competent to the point of being aware of your own weaknesses.
 
XcaliburGirl said:
There have been similar threads to this already. Believe me, I've read them all several times. I still feel like I need to get my thoughts out.

I cancelled my flight lesson yesterday. I've got 25 hours (all dual), now flying weekly but I started with twice a week. I've been feeling distractedly anxious the day before every single flight and worse the morning of the flight. I've considered quitting, but then I read some encouraging examples of others online and push through it.

My anxiety seems to be from two main things.
1. Perfectionism and frustration at making the same mistakes repeatedly, plus not soloing yet.
2. Trepidation at being PIC, making mistakes, putting others in danger. I'm doing this for fun and because I love being in the air, and the responsibility seems to suck all the joy out of flying. I'm afraid if/when I get my private, I will avoid taking others up and eventually stop flying due to this pressure.

Yesterday, I got up early to do my flight plan for my second dual cross country. We are doing them to take a break from the pattern until I can get crosswind landings figured out.

I made a stupid mistake, like using my first true course as my wind correction angle, and had to redo several things. At this point I started my mind started wandering to the what-ifs, as in "what if this happened and my CFI wasn't there to catch it". I felt a little panicky and it broke my concentration. It was almost time to leave and my flight plan was only half done, I didn't have my weather briefing yet. All that, coupled with the doubts I've had for weeks just started overwhelming me.

Anyway, I ended up in tears and feeling so stressed that I called my CFI and cancelled. He seemed surprised, said I was a good student and not a slow learner. He pointed out that I already passed my FAA written and all my part 141 stage quizzes, so I've got the knowledge part down. He thought I was being too hard on myself, especially about the landings. We kept my next flight in two weeks on the schedule and left it at that.

I knew this was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how stressed out I would feel. When I'm in the air, I do enjoy it until I have to land, or I'm drifting away from my heading, or I can't understand ATC, etc. This was supposed to be for fun, but I'm anxious about it to the point of avoiding thinking about flying during the week.
Click to expand...

Flight log anxiety is wholly unnecessary. You fill out a flight log for one basic reason: To determine if, with the winds as forecast, you have enough fuel to make it to your destination (with some left over). It is not a matter of getting lost. When it comes to following the headings on the flight log, forget them!! You are a VFR pilot, navigating by ground reference, whether there is a CFI in the right seat or not. As soon as you see that the lake/railroad/stadium/golf course/etc that you were supposed to pass on the right is on the wrong side of the airplane you wake up and make a course adjustment...who cares what it says on a piece of paper.

Bob Gardner
 
Drifting away from your heading? Is this a combined IFR/VFR course? While dead reckoning can work nicely, it's not generally the first line of defense for a VFR pilot.

The way to avoid "drifting" VFR is to pick a distant landmark and fly to it.

If you're worried about getting lost, the trick is to plan at least two methods to get there. Like, follow a VOR radial and plot landmarks. As a student pilot, I ended up memorizing most of the local airspace. Not on purpose, but it did give me the confidence I could get home even if thoroughly lost.

But, honestly, get to solo first. Adding extra stuff on top isn't helping.

Above all, never let the perfect be the enemy of the good enough. Precision is very useful, but not when it interferes with getting it done at all.

Certain people on this board immediately blame the flight instructor for everything up to and including the weather. I don't see any glaring issues, but flying with someone else for one flight can help much more than you might expect, just due to the different perspective. But in a 141 program, you'll get some of that anyway.
 
Keep going,you can work through it. You may not have soloed due to your lack of confidence in your skills. Have a heart to heart with your instructor. Remember flying is supposed to be fun.
 
Also don't stress not soloing at 25 hrs, some CFIs won't let you solo until you can fly the whole PTS well, and while it's arguably not the best approach, I've seen it happen! Also don't rush, enjoy the experience! Don't give up! My 2c.
 
MAKG1 said:
Certain people on this board immediately blame the flight instructor for everything up to and including the weather. I don't see any glaring issues, but flying with someone else for one flight can help much more than you might expect, just due to the different perspective. But in a 141 program, you'll get some of that anyway.
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Going back to my earlier comments I don't think its a matter of "blame" - my experience is that some instructors are a better fit for some students. It's really (IMHO) a matter of teaching and learning styles and how they match up. I had one instrument instructor who I quickly dropped because his style of teaching just didn't match my style of learning. And sometimes a new perspective helps get you past a plateau - if only for a lesson or two as others have suggested.
 
I don't know if others will agree with me or not here, but here is my take. I had some of those same feelings early on. Mine came after solo though because I was afraid, as you are that my instructor wouldn't catch my mistake and I would surely die. What I finally figured out is, there are really only a handful of thing that will kill you. If I make sure I don't, get too slow, run out of gas, fly into IMC, run into another airplane, I will in all likelihood survive. I try to learn and improve every flight, but I make sure I don't do the few things that will kill me.
 
What I'd suggest is just a couple of no pressure fun flights. If you have a friend with an airplane maybe you could offer to split the gas and fly out for a $100 burger somewhere.

Maybe ask your CFI to just give a very low pressure lesson, perhaps go out and do a little sightseeing, do some 360's over the lake, go land at a new airport. No touch and gos, no stalls, no steep turns, etc.

I think one or two low pressure rides would really help you rediscover why you wanted to fly in the first place.
 
Stick with it. Precision takes time. Don't be overly hard on yourself. Try going up and instead of a "lesson" per say, just tell your CFI you want to fly around, maybe grab a burger at another airport. The pressure of learning and getting it "right" can get heavy sometimes. Take a break and have some fun in the airplane, and I bet you still learn something. Just my .02 from one student to another.
 
JimNtexas said:
What I'd suggest is just a couple of no pressure fun flights. If you have a friend with an airplane maybe you could offer to split the gas and fly out for a $100 burger somewhere.

Maybe ask your CFI to just give a very low pressure lesson, perhaps go out and do a little sightseeing, do some 360's over the lake, go land at a new airport. No touch and gos, no stalls, no steep turns, etc.

I think one or two low pressure rides would really help you rediscover why you wanted to fly in the first place.
Click to expand...

Jim posted this while I was typing my response. I couldn't agree more.
 
JimNtexas said:
What I'd suggest is just a couple of no pressure fun flights. If you have a friend with an airplane maybe you could offer to split the gas and fly out for a $100 burger somewhere.

Maybe ask your CFI to just give a very low pressure lesson, perhaps go out and do a little sightseeing, do some 360's over the lake, go land at a new airport. No touch and gos, no stalls, no steep turns, etc.

I think one or two low pressure rides would really help you rediscover why you wanted to fly in the first place.
Click to expand...

Great advice - get back to why you started down this path! And navigate along the way purely by visual reference. Focus on the picture out the window....
 
JimNtexas said:
What I'd suggest is just a couple of no pressure fun flights. If you have a friend with an airplane maybe you could offer to split the gas and fly out for a $100 burger somewhere.

Maybe ask your CFI to just give a very low pressure lesson, perhaps go out and do a little sightseeing, do some 360's over the lake, go land at a new airport. No touch and gos, no stalls, no steep turns, etc.

I think one or two low pressure rides would really help you rediscover why you wanted to fly in the first place.
Click to expand...
Yep. That is what I was going to say.

A low pressure flight like that will remind you what you like about flying and that you really can fly the airplane without worrying about the CFI pushing you to do the next step and then judging you on it.

Even things like understanding ATC will get easier with practice. They have very limited lingo which once you understand it you will almost know what they are going to say before they say it and you can concentrate on details like frequencies and such.
 
gov98 said:
One thing to keep in mind, there is a psychological phenomena where competent people tend to overestimate the competence of others, and less than competent people tend to overestimate their own competence. This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect, and is (in my opinion) a very important thing to understand about life.

It's possible (but I do not know) is that your competence is causing you to be aware of your mistakes where as more blissfully ignorant folks are just thrilled about their relative awesomeness. Again it's impossible for me to know, but sometimes, knowing what you're not doing well, isn't a sign that you aren't doing well, but is a sign that you are competent to the point of being aware of your own weaknesses.
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Disagree.

Anxiety before a flight, especially for a student, is one thing, having that little nag in the back of your head is fine, but there are different degrees on anxiety, and straight canceling flights and not wanting to think about flying during the week, that ain't a sign of competence, that's a sign that something is WRONG.

There's a decent chance her CFI is inexperienced, or not every good and is causing some of this fear and anxiety, this type of thing occurs often, especially in stall training. And.......then there is another possibility and that's what detuuri said,

You love being a passenger, not the pilot. A pilot loves thinking about the things that make you anxious and how to perfect them.

dtuuri
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This is also a distinct possibility.


If you're this fearful how will you react on a first solo? First engine out?

Not everyone can be "whatever you want to be", some folks just ain't cut out of be PIC, no shame in it, just the way the cookie crumbles.

She needs to cover the CFI possibility, and go from there.
 
To the OP: I hope you do not give up if it is something that you really want to do. Don't get discouraged!!

I however question your CFI having you working on your second dual XC prior to having gotten the first solo completed.

JMHO,

Mike
 
I went through the same thing. As a machinist I was so frustrated at trying to do everything perfectly till I read something that helped me out. "Don't let perfection be the enemy of good enough." Good luck and stick to it.

Pat
 
Scotty78 said:
Stick with it. Precision takes time. Don't be overly hard on yourself. Try going up and instead of a "lesson" per say, just tell your CFI you want to fly around, maybe grab a burger at another airport. The pressure of learning and getting it "right" can get heavy sometimes. Take a break and have some fun in the airplane, and I bet you still learn something. Just my .02 from one student to another.
Click to expand...

Yup. When I got to a similar point in training, I went with my CFI and my wife to a few different airports and just flew around, then stopped for lunch at an airport restaurant. No pressure and no real plan... Just out having fun flying. I remember that flight more that the countless flights doing stalls and soft field landings.
 
I can relate to this post. Flight training can be very intense and task-focused to the point of becoming frustrating, mundane, and no joy. You don't realize that the nature of your missions will change and the task saturation will fade away after getting your ticket. I have been infatuated with aviation my entire life, yet I found myself really questioning if GA was for me at around 30 hours into my training, and for basically the same reasons you posted.

In my opinion, perfection is not the skill that you will find most valuable in aviation. You can only control so much--you can't control the weather, other pilots, ATC, or the airport. You could be doing everything right while everything else is going wrong and what you want to be able to do is stay calm and adapt to the situation you're presented with, not the one you planned for. You may get lost on a cross-country flight, your destination airport may be temporarily closed when you arrive, the tower might close for the day while you're in the pattern, a gust of wind might come out of nowhere and toss up your landing, etc. You will be a competent and cool-headed pilot and these things will not endanger your passengers.

Others have given really good advice and encouragement and I think you should press on and get your license. You've done all this hard work so why not achieve the goal and then decide if you want to keep it up.

Compared to my training days, now I find navigating to a new-to-me airport or maintaining my night currency on a moonlit crystal-clear evening to be a cathartic experience. I start to go stir-crazy if I don't get some hours in every month.

To everyone who reaches this point: Just know that training is challenging, dumber people than you have made it (so you will too), your ticket is a license to learn (and it will get easier with time), and flying your own missions is a much more enjoyable experience than flying training missions under the scrutiny of an instructor.
 
BTDT.

My advice- schedule a "fun" flight. Have the instructor do all the prep work and responsible stuff, then just show up and FLY. No worrying about gauges, logs, or if the flying is good enough- just remember the joy of flying and do whatever you want!:yes:
 
Lots of really good posts above, and it's great to see people offering encouragement and sharing their own experiences. I'll chime in with my experience as well.

It took me 30+ hours to solo. My instructor wanted to see 3 landings back to back that were dead center on the center line, no floating, etc before he would let me solo. When I finally solo'd it was no big deal with the confidence built in. I did get nervous any time I went out there as a student without my CFI to practice maneuvers - especially stalls. I still get nervous about various things, including flight planning but I think it's a healthy nervousness that forces me to consider the various safety factors in a successful flight. Keep at it!
 
Wow, I didn't expect to get so many responses in such a short time. Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. It's really helpful, both just the encouragement and also some good points in the other direction.

It helps to hear that others have felt anxious and it's lessened with experience. I've also always like that "Don't let perfection be the enemy of good enough." quote thanks for the reminder.

Regarding my CFI, I do get along well with him and feel comfortable. I tend to be quiet though so I think he doesn't always know what's going on in my head. The stage 1 check will get me a flight with another instructor, but if things drag on before that, I will bring up trying a lesson with someone else to get some perspective.

We started on the cross countries because I felt pretty comfortable with making a flight log (at least in a ground school setting) and the constant pattern work on landings was getting tiring. Plus, it seemed more efficient to be moving forward instead of being stuck on landing. It was less intense on the XC than doing an hour of touch-and-go. But, there was new stuff to learn to manage the charts and flight log in the cockpit, so maybe it was a bit of information overload. Honestly, I think my overwhelmed feeling yesterday while doing the flight log planning was less about what I was doing and more about being generally nervous and not leaving enough time to get it done before I had to leave.

I also have considered maybe I just like riding in airplanes and not being in command, that maybe my personality isn't really conducive to being a pilot. One option would be to just do some one-off lesson/sight-seeing flights in interesting aircraft rather than trying to go for the certificate. I've always wanted to fly a warbird, or at least a WWII-era trainer.

That said, it seems silly to quit right now when the only thing that's really holding me back is myself. I keep thinking about quitting, but then I start thinking about soloing, night flights, finally getting to actually feel like a pilot, and I want to keep going.

I think I'm going to ask that we do a low pressure flight on the next one, like several of you suggested. Then maybe get back to concentrating on getting to that solo, not adding new stuff. Take it one flight at a time and enjoying it rather than trying to make it in the fewest hours. Maybe I'll take a break from the oral exam guide for a while and read some pilot memoirs for fun like I used to do. At this point, I just want to get my inspiration back and gain some confidence.
 
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