A Candid Question About Flying

P

PC4CAB

Filing Flight Plan
Joined
Jul 24, 2017
Messages
9
Display Name
Display name:
PC4CAB
Folks,

I apologize if this is either the wrong forum, or comes across as odd to many of you seasoned aviators, but I wanted to share some honest feelings and emotions, and see if perhaps I’m either the only one, or not that has felt this way.

So, a quick introduction…. For as long as I remember, I have loved airplanes. As a kid, I would spend endless days and nights watching the planes make their way to Philly International Airport. My bedroom was decorated with every manner of aviation related pictures, posters, etc. I used to think that I thought like a pilot, always trying to weigh options and have a plan for everything I did. Heck, I even dressed how I thought a pilot would, with a leather bomber jacket and the occasional Raybans. It would seem that I’ve been in love with airplanes for almost the 45 years I’ve been alive, and want to be a pilot as much as I want that next promotion, big deal, or even that next grasp of air. I’ve got it bad…

But, that love hides a strange fear – I’m actually prone to being scared to fly. I have the good fortune of having met a wonderful woman, who among having many of the wonderful traits any man would want, happens to be an airline pilot and CFI/CFII. We fell in love, and she has just started to train me, and while I look forward to our lessons together, I find myself nervous at times. Some days, the fear is marginal, other times it’s much worse. Every bump, odd sound , or radio call seems to frighten me at times. I’m overwhelmed by all the things I need to know, from working the radio, to simply keeping the plane straight and level. I keep thinking, what if something serious happens, and we have to make a sharp, emergency turn, or we encounter wake turbulence, and the plane rolls hard to the right or left. I’m afraid I would scream and grab my seat. I’ve shared my fears with her, and she just smiles and says in time I will get use to it, and not be so overwhelmed and scared. Oddly, once we land, I miss it all, yet while in the air, I’m a bit of a nervous wreck.

I think of a solo flight, and then a solo cross country, and it literally gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. Both scared and excited at the same time, but more scared, to be candid. The idea of practicing stalls slightly terrifies me, and if the plane entered a spin, I know panic would ensue. Yet there are moments I am in love with flying, and hate myself for being so scared. I can’t stand the fact that some days I’m too afraid to learn, as I desperately want to learn, and someday get my private and maybe instrument.

Is this normal? Did any of you feel this way at first? Did training and flying eventually resolve the conflict and most of the fear? I know I want to learn, but feel like I should be more relaxed and less scared. I think my feelings make me a bad potential pilot, but I don’t know if how I feel is normal, or semi normal.

I’m grateful for any insight.
 
Flying is not a natural thing to do. Some apprehension is OK. It can actually be beneficial. Out right fear is a different thing. If you're so scared that you're not willing to manipulate the controls and do what you need to do you do effect then you shouldn't fly by yourself
 
To some extent, it's normal to be fearful early on. Especially in turbulence and during climbout/short final. It's just a different experience than anything you get looking out an airliner window.

But whether you'll get over it is up to you. When I first started, I would get nervous as well. I think most do. You have to decide that it doesn't matter what happens, you are going to fly the airplane. You'll gradually get more comfortable, usually once you gain the knowledge to know what's actually dangerous and what isn't.

Fear is fine and can be worked through. Fear that stops you from flying the plane isn't.
 
Morgan3820 said:
Flying is not a natural thing to do. Some apprehension is OK. It can actually be beneficial. Out right fear is a different thing. If you're so scared that you're not willing to manipulate the controls and do what you need to do you do effect then you shouldn't fly by yourself
Click to expand...

Thankfully, not that level of scared! I can fly - takeoff, straight and level, climb, turns, haven't landed yet, just approach and then she lands, but getting close. Still, the whole thing brings both a huge smile across my face, and loads of apprehension too
 
Friend of mine loves airplanes, loves space stuff, aviation "nut".

Found out the hard way that he REALLY doesn't like flying. Like, irrational anxiety, panic response, etc. He's tried a few times to get "used to it", but it ain't happening. Just flying commercial is a real problem for him. Small planes? No way. And he -wants- to fly. But something happens when he gets in the plane.

I mention this, because you may not get over it. And if you don't, well, don't feel bad. It's not a personal failing. It's a firmware bug, and you may not be able to fix it. My friend desperately wants to fly, but can't.
 
Normal (I HOPE!) :)

I'm in training now. First bunch of flights I would ask my CFI "are we ok?" "is this normal?" things like that...

And every little bit of turbulence (mostly thermals here) would have me grabbing the glare shield in fear that we were going down.

Now, it's pretty rare that I get rattled in the thermals, although they can get rough here in the high desert as the day warms up.

You'll get over it, I have no doubt.
 
abqtj said:
Normal (I HOPE!) :)

I'm in training now. First bunch of flights I would ask my CFI "are we ok?" "is this normal?" things like that...

And every little bit of turbulence (mostly thermals here) would have me grabbing the glare shield in fear that we were going down.

Now, it's pretty rare that I get rattled in the thermals, although they can get rough here in the high desert as the day warms up.

You'll get over it, I have no doubt.
Click to expand...

Thanks, awesome to hear you moved past it!
 
When I started flying I spent a lot of time studying accidents so I could convince myself that wouldn’t happen to me.

I was in the dark about what was dangerous and what was normal.

As I gained experience and knowledge the dark turned to light and now my nemesis is overconfidence.

I still occasionally feel a little trepidation when something doesn’t feel right but it is manageable.

I have found joy and value beyond my wildest fantasies.

I wish you all the best on your aviation adventure.
 
It's not for everybody. You need to fly more and see if your anxiety subsides. If not, then come to terms with that.
 
This sounds pretty normal. I don't hear fear...I hear you reflecting apprehension, which leads to anxiety. Any time we do something that is naturally dangerous, this is supposed to kick in. As you get more experience in the aspects of flying, it will fade. It will show up again when you do something that is new to you.

Apprehension and anxiety are normal and recoverable. You performance goes down when those kick in, but they also help keep you out of places you shouldn't be. It's just a matter of having enough judgement to recognize when you'll face these emotions, realize they'll affect your performance, and leave yourself enough reserve to still deal with the situation. For now, those situations include almost all aspects of flying, including the totally normal ones. Later, it will only be the unusual situations that allow the anxiety to creep up.

Panic is also normal, but generally unrecoverable. So, that's the bar I set for myself: What are the odds I will panic? Panic results in untenable performance. I cannot afford to panic in a plane. That's the plan: match my risk tolerance to my panic likelihood. If I have plenty of margin between the two, and all else also lines up, it's a go. If there isn't much margin or none at all, that flight is not happening.
 
PC4CAB said:
Folks,


I think of a solo flight, and then a solo cross country, and it literally gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. Both scared and excited at the same time, but more scared, to be candid. The idea of practicing stalls slightly terrifies me, and if the plane entered a spin, I know panic would ensue. Yet there are moments I am in love with flying, and hate myself for being so scared. I can’t stand the fact that some days I’m too afraid to learn, as I desperately want to learn, and someday get my private and maybe instrument.

Is this normal? Did any of you feel this way at first? Did training and flying eventually resolve the conflict and most of the fear? I know I want to learn, but feel like I should be more relaxed and less scared. I think my feelings make me a bad potential pilot, but I don’t know if how I feel is normal, or semi normal.

I’m grateful for any insight.
Click to expand...
I feel butterflies in my stomach every time I get in a plane to go flying. It's a combination of "THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!" and "GOD, please don't let me screw up!" At first it was more "skeered" than excited. Now it's the other way around.

The 152 I learned in LOVED to try to spin. I was shocked to learn that the recovery was instinctive. After the first one, I didn't even give a thought. I just moved the controls and the plane recovered.

My solo was a non-event. I had a few seconds of "Well, you've don it now. You have to land this thing by yerself." quickly followed by "DANG! this thing flies GREAT with only one butt in it!".

Cross Countries, were also a mostly non-event. I only got lost because it snowed, and everything was the same color. Try not to use an unplowed runway as a waypoint and you'll have fewer problems than I did.

Just relax, enjoy, and fly the plane. And look out the windows - the view is worth all the butterflies.
 
Vance Breese said:
When I started flying I spent a lot of time studying accidents so I could convince myself that wouldn’t happen to me.

I was in the dark about what was dangerous and what was normal.

As I gained experience and knowledge the dark turned to light and now my nemesis is overconfidence.

I still occasionally feel a little trepidation when something doesn’t feel right but it is manageable.

I have found joy and value beyond my wildest fantasies.

I wish you all the best on your aviation adventure.
Click to expand...

Thank you!
 
arnoha said:
This sounds pretty normal. I don't hear fear...I hear you reflecting apprehension, which leads to anxiety. Any time we do something that is naturally dangerous, this is supposed to kick in. As you get more experience in the aspects of flying, it will fade. It will show up again when you do something that is new to you.

Apprehension and anxiety are normal and recoverable. You performance goes down when those kick in, but they also help keep you out of places you shouldn't be. It's just a matter of having enough judgement to recognize when you'll face these emotions, realize they'll affect your performance, and leave yourself enough reserve to still deal with the situation. For now, those situations include almost all aspects of flying, including the totally normal ones. Later, it will only be the unusual situations that allow the anxiety to creep up.

Panic is also normal, but generally unrecoverable. So, that's the bar I set for myself: What are the odds I will panic? Panic results in untenable performance. I cannot afford to panic in a plane. That's the plan: match my risk tolerance to my panic likelihood. If I have plenty of margin between the two, and all else also lines up, it's a go. If there isn't much margin or none at all, that flight is not happening.
Click to expand...

Thanks, this helps me put things in perspective!
 
I'm at 100 hours, and still have some apprehension before flying, but it usually goes away once I'm sitting in the plane. When I was first soloing, I would get pretty nervous about going up. My strategy was to simply take it step by step, and give myself permission to stop at any point. For example, I would preflight the plane, and if I felt ok, I would get in the plane and buckle up. If I still felt ok, I would start the engine, and then so on through the taxi out, run up, and takeoff. Then I would find myself in the air still feeling pretty good. That's pretty much what I'm still doing!

It helps when you start developing your own rhythm for things, and basic muscle/sensory memory for being in the airplane and flying it. A great deal of your attention is probably being taken up right now by the unfamiliar environment. Your brain will learn to tune out the unimportant things, and you will begin to be able to devote a lot more of your attention to situational awareness than to the physical act of manipulating the controls, which will become more or less second nature. That's when I started to really enjoy flying.

Also, I suspect that many people with the inclination to be a pilot experience more anxiety in the cockpit of a plane than others do. My non-pilot friends who have ridden along as my passengers seem to have very little anxiety about it, especially compared to how I felt when first starting out. You, as a pilot by inclination, are probably subconsciously taking more responsibility for the situation than would a pure non-pilot passenger.
 
Both in flying and riding motorcycles, I've always said that when/if I lose the entirely rational fear associated with both marginally dangerous activities that is the time I should stop participating in either.
 
Never had a fear of flying, but a crazy fear of heights. Weird, huh? I did have the usual apprehension when taking the controls the first time and the solo flights. I figure anyone who doesn't have some degree of anxiety isn't normal. For me, I got more comfortable as I flew, and I think you will see the same change.
 
Couple things
1. Early on anything that startles you will be amplified. That goes away with more time in the cockpit. If I go a month or 2 without flying, a couple thermals can give me the heebeejeebees briefly and then I settle back into things.

2. You mentioned the thought of flying scaring you. This is weird and I can't explain it. When I am lying in bed at night thinking about flying scares me. I feel like it isn't safe and I should not be doing it and surely I am going to have a mid air or some other terrible thing. Never do I have these same concerns once I am in the aircraft. I am not sure why the thought of flying bothers me more than actually flying but it does. It is not crippling with fear or anything, but just makes me uncomfortable to think about.

Never have I let that stop me from flying and I've never been scared of flying while actually flying (post training anyway)
 
rbridges said:
Never had a fear of flying, but a crazy fear of heights. Weird, huh? I did have the usual apprehension when taking the controls the first time and the solo flights. I figure anyone who doesn't have some degree of anxiety isn't normal. For me, I got more comfortable as I flew, and I think you will see the same change.
Click to expand...
My grandpa was a pilot in the air-force and can't stand being high up in buildings, same with me, but we both have no problem in a plane(oh irony)! When I first got hooked, my first two lessons on take off I got pretty nervous and contemplated not pursuing flying anymore. After that, and studying how planes fly, I began to feel very comfortable through all phases of flight. Studying and understanding how something works can greatly ease nervousness IMO.
 
Similar to what Bryan said, I have more anxiety on the ground than in the air. I relive every mistake and follow it to its worst outcome, I think that is a positive and a negative. When I fly almost all my concern evaporates at about 1000' AGL.
 
I was nervous at my lack of knowledge at first, but never scared, and I certainly never thought that I'd freeze. If I thought for a second that any scenario would make me stop flying the plane I'd walk away immediately. When crap hits the fan people react differently. My instructor pounded that into my head if something goes wrong, "fly the f'ing plane."

Try to work through your apprehension, but realize it's not for everyone. Being nervous or scared is fine. It's how you deal with it. I have the same experience as 6PC. I'm much more nervous while not flying. Once I hit the throttle I'm focused and calm.
 
On my first solo, I sat at the end of the runway, staring at the empty seat, certain I was about to kill myself. But I wasn't going to not fly, so after what seemed like thirty minutes, I convinced myself that dying on my first solo was preferable to taxing back and never sitting in an airplane again.

When I learned to fly gliders, my instructor said I wasn't allowed to carry any passengers until I stopped saying, "Whoa!" with every bump or jostle.

I've only got a few hundred hours now, and I still get nervous when mounting a new plane. I just bought my first, and when I went up with my instructor, she had me do steep turns, power off and accelerated stalls, etc. I was as tense as if it was my first lesson.

All that to say, that I think (hope) that a certain amount of nerves, depending on the situation, is normal and healthy.
 
I was scared, not terrified when I first went up in a 172. In my situation I love flying more than I was scared. So it depends on what emotion is stronger in you because everyone is different. Get in a flight simulator and practice emergency landings. Visualize yourself flying by yourself and work through every scenario, you will know what to do if/when danger strikes.
 
My roommate in college had a custom tshirt made that ripped off the "no fear" slogan. His said "Some fear. If you aren't a little scared, you aren't pushing hard enough."
 
After over 40 years and a bunch of hours, I have no conscious fear of flying.

And yet...

I routinely find both my legs tensed up and both pushing on the rudder pedals after takeoff, and have to force myself to relax. So maybe something else subconscious is still going on.
 
Mike Smith said:
I have more anxiety on the ground than in the air. I relive every mistake and follow it to its worst outcome, I think that is a positive and a negative. When I fly almost all my concern evaporates at about 1000' AGL.
Click to expand...
This.
 
Mistake Not... said:
Just flying commercial is a real problem for him. Small planes? No way. And he -wants- to fly. But something happens when he gets in the plane.
Click to expand...

Has he actually tried flying in a small plane? The fear of commercial flying can be a different thing that won't necessarily exist in a small plane. Commercial flying fears for me is (severe) claustrophobia, fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control. That doesn't exist on a small plane.

I'm not saying there isn't real small plane fears, there obviously are - just that the one doesn't necessarily imply the other.
 
Folks,

Really appreciate all the replies, this means a lot to me, and I appreciate everyone's time in replying!
 
Late to the party but you aren't the first to ask the question on this forum and you won't be the last. I myself asked a similar question when I first joined which for me, was about 150 flying hours ago. One day, you will see someone else ask the same question and probably will be in a position to share your experience. This forum is FULL of experienced and helpful folks and is the reason I'm still around. Your fears will subside in time but a little fear and/or apprehension is always healthy.
 
Give it time and it becomes the new normal. Look at the initial threads I had posted. I was terrified of banking the plane and then terrified of turbulence when I started. Kept doing it, now I don't even think about it. 60 degree banks are fun, light turbulence with medium chops is annoyance, but that's about it. O by the way, Sean D. Tucker was terrified of stalls. If u don't know him, look him up

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
 
We have something in common, we are both learning to fly and our wives are airline pilots. In my cas my wife moved on from the airlines and is not a CFI. So my question is: did you do several hours of flying for fun first? When we purchased the old Skyland we did several "just flying" flights. No steep turns or stalls or excessive pattern work. That worked out to be a great time to be introduced bit by bit to flying, how the plane works and all the peripheral stuff. If you are still apprenhensive, take a short/long trip together to a destination and get your mind off all the dire, emergency stuff. Everyone is right, you'll will get used to the different sensations and they will no longer make you so anxious.
 
Buddy, the first landing after my first solo had my legs shaking so hard on the brakes I didn't think I could steer. I went around again for another one.

Even after these severalish years, I still find myself at 10,000 ft in the clouds asking what the hell I'm doing. When it comes down to it and I have to perform, I perform, and love the freedom it gives me.

Even during my first solo cross country I was pretty much wondering if I was nuts and if I was going to make it.

Your fear will mute and change over time. Inform that fear with experience and it will become a trusted ally.
 
I think a little fear keeps you on your toes. I am always on high alert when I fly.
 
Sinistar said:
We have something in common, we are both learning to fly and our wives are airline pilots. In my cas my wife moved on from the airlines and is not a CFI. So my question is: did you do several hours of flying for fun first? When we purchased the old Skyland we did several "just flying" flights. No steep turns or stalls or excessive pattern work. That worked out to be a great time to be introduced bit by bit to flying, how the plane works and all the peripheral stuff. If you are still apprenhensive, take a short/long trip together to a destination and get your mind off all the dire, emergency stuff. Everyone is right, you'll will get used to the different sensations and they will no longer make you so anxious.
Click to expand...

We did, she owns a small Grumman Trainer, and we flew a few times in that, before she really started to instruct me. Recently, we have been flying a 172 for instruction.
 
If even the thought of flying solo frightens you, you should take up other hobbies. There are already too many pilots sharing the airspace who can, for instance, afford more airplane than they can handle, even when they don't experience fear of flying.
The hills are littered with the results.
If you need a wake-up call, buy some dual with a rotary wing IP.
I never worried about my abilities, only was apprehensive about the pilots I shared the sky with.
On the other hand, I knew a young man who threw up when he first got rides in airplanes, but went on to become an airline pilot. Moving on from fright to boredom, I suppose.
 
ChrisK said:
Buddy, the first landing after my first solo had my legs shaking so hard on the brakes I didn't think I could steer. I went around again for another one.

Even after these severalish years, I still find myself at 10,000 ft in the clouds asking what the hell I'm doing. When it comes down to it and I have to perform, I perform, and love the freedom it gives me.

Even during my first solo cross country I was pretty much wondering if I was nuts and if I was going to make it.

Your fear will mute and change over time. Inform that fear with experience and it will become a trusted ally.
Click to expand...

Wow! Long time no see.
Welcome back.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top