SixPapaCharlie
May the force be with you
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- Aug 8, 2013
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Sixer
First, there was NO slaw of any sort, NO passenger briefing, and you can bet I was wearing a pair of GD sandals.
A spur of the moment trip that had been twice planned and cancelled had become a reality.
A handful of texts and now this trip had momentum. Too late to stop it now.
I stepped out of my mid-size SUV, entered the FBO and there before me stood one Jon "JCranford" Cranford. A tall man who despite clearly being a creature that works out tirelessly showed fear and intimidation at the sight of my feet adorned with a ratty pair of sandals.
On the surface He wasn't going to let me see his trepidation but it was there. I could see it in his pants.
We shook hands, exchanged pleasantries and got in the plane.
"You want Burgers in Dallas or Pizza in Oklahoma?" I asked.
JCranford: "I haven't had a good burger in some time, let's go south"
Me: "Ok, sounds good"
Me: "Ground, I am going to need flight following to Olka Effing Homa"
He sat there silently knowing I was the HPIC on this trip.
First time in my life I ever saw a tear start to emerge from a man's face and him actually suck it back into his tear duct. It was pathetic and beautiful.
We flew a bit quietly chatting about the weather and other nonsense.
JCranford: "I like to jump out of planes for fun"
Me: "Sometimes it may not be for fun"
JCranford: "What???"
Me: "Sorry Autocorrect. I meant you skydive?"
JCranford: "Yup. 3400 jumps so far"
Me: "About to be 34 hundred and 1"
JCranford: "Excuse Me?!?! What was that you said?"
Me: "That wasn't me. That Was “Ciri”, the Cirrus version of Siri she thought you had a math question."
Me: "You've got the flight controls."
JCranford: "I've got the flight controls."
Me: "Not you, I was talking to the VAA, open parenthesis Voice activated auto-pilot close parenthesis."
JCranford: "I don't think that is even a thing."
Me: "Okay, I will give you that one"
Me: "GustaveWhitehead Tower, Sandals 1248PapaMikeNathan Landing two one"
It was a perfect...No, THE perfect landing. It was so beautiful Mr. Cranford was unable to suck this tear back up.
We walk in the FBO, get the keys to the loaner car.
Hop in and turn the key. crickets!
JCranford: "This car is dead man"
Me: "Things die. You'll see"
"To the FBO!" I shouted.
I bounded and he pranced and together we managed to extract a pair of jumper cables from a young transsexual sitting behind the counter at the FBO.
I hooked the cables up to a running car and as I handed Mr. Cranford the live ends I thought "This is my opportunity. This is my Tango and Cash moment" but no there was no way to make it look like an accident since I had said the Tango and Cash thing out loud and not in my head.
We jumped the car and drove toward a known mob hideaway disguised as a pizza place ironically called hideaway.
A storm was building to the north (This will be important information later. So remember it.)
On the way back, the storm which had been building earlier (remember?) was in full effect as they used to say.
He knew we would have to wait it out but I explained that I have getthere-itis and as such, there would be no waiting.
The pedal was on the floor of the barely living Ford Focus.
"Turn Left!" he shouted.
I did but just as we turned, a train came speeding by. The gate closed in front of us.
It was then I had the thought "I need to get this car stalled on the tracks somehow"
I threw it into reverse and took my first right and drove that little crap car for all it was worth.
With every cross street, I could see the train. I finally got ahead of it.
Hard left to try to get in front of the train with hopes of leaping out at the last second.
Damned if the left I made wasn't the only street that goes under the train bridge.
"DAMMIT!" I yelled
He asks "What? That is a good thing we don't have to wait for it."
I explain that was a "Dammit" of joy.
We got to the airport and gave the jumper cables to Pam Bob at the FBO and He/She asked if we wanted fuel. We were almost out but we didn't have time. The storm was here pressing against the base leg for 21
In my frantic rush, I had a brief moment of clarity where I realized how much the chocks looked like nun chucks. I chuckled in my head as I mentally labeled them Nun chocks but either way no chance of making that look like an accident especially since once again I had just said aloud "I bet you could kill a guy with nun chocks like these"
"Dammit!" I thought to myself (not a joy dammit this time)
Ole JC was looking pale. He started having doubts. It was too late he was in the plane and I was taxiing.
He pleaded for me to stop, at one point threatening to pull the chute to thwart the flight home.
I put him in his place "Oh such a skydiver has to use the chute. Can't land without it right? A real man falls until the last part stops moving." Playing the chute hater card seemed to have worked with him but the tower was not amused.
"And where do you think you are going VFR Sandals?" the tower chimed in.
Me: "Am I being detained?"
Me: "I'm a free inhabitant!!!"
I screamed it onto the mic a few more times.
Nothing more from the tower as we headed back.
Lightning strikes flirted with the plane as we ascended, tickling the tail of the plane continuously like a transsexual with jumper cables until we were at altitude.
Out of energy, I decided this wasn't the right day to take out Dr. Cranford.
A simple quiet flight home with another perfect landing confirmed for me this was to be nothing more than just another dinner flight for the log book. Next Time Mr. Dr. Cranford!!!!!
^ So like 12% of that is true. You can decide which parts.
I did get a chance to meet and fly with JCranford yesterday. Super nice guy that has me 80% convinced to go sky diving but I am so scared of the thought of it that I dunno. We grabbed a pizza from hideaway and I brought one home for Mrs. 6PC (Her favorite pizza place) I got home at 10: 30 and she actually got out of bed and threw a slice in the oven cursing me the whole time "I already brushed my teeth grumble grumble but I can't not have a slice"
Good flight, Good food and a little adventure along the way.
Nice to meet you sir!
A spur of the moment trip that had been twice planned and cancelled had become a reality.
A handful of texts and now this trip had momentum. Too late to stop it now.
I stepped out of my mid-size SUV, entered the FBO and there before me stood one Jon "JCranford" Cranford. A tall man who despite clearly being a creature that works out tirelessly showed fear and intimidation at the sight of my feet adorned with a ratty pair of sandals.
On the surface He wasn't going to let me see his trepidation but it was there. I could see it in his pants.
We shook hands, exchanged pleasantries and got in the plane.
"You want Burgers in Dallas or Pizza in Oklahoma?" I asked.
JCranford: "I haven't had a good burger in some time, let's go south"
Me: "Ok, sounds good"
Me: "Ground, I am going to need flight following to Olka Effing Homa"
He sat there silently knowing I was the HPIC on this trip.
First time in my life I ever saw a tear start to emerge from a man's face and him actually suck it back into his tear duct. It was pathetic and beautiful.
We flew a bit quietly chatting about the weather and other nonsense.
JCranford: "I like to jump out of planes for fun"
Me: "Sometimes it may not be for fun"
JCranford: "What???"
Me: "Sorry Autocorrect. I meant you skydive?"
JCranford: "Yup. 3400 jumps so far"
Me: "About to be 34 hundred and 1"
JCranford: "Excuse Me?!?! What was that you said?"
Me: "That wasn't me. That Was “Ciri”, the Cirrus version of Siri she thought you had a math question."
Me: "You've got the flight controls."
JCranford: "I've got the flight controls."
Me: "Not you, I was talking to the VAA, open parenthesis Voice activated auto-pilot close parenthesis."
JCranford: "I don't think that is even a thing."
Me: "Okay, I will give you that one"
Me: "GustaveWhitehead Tower, Sandals 1248PapaMikeNathan Landing two one"
It was a perfect...No, THE perfect landing. It was so beautiful Mr. Cranford was unable to suck this tear back up.
We walk in the FBO, get the keys to the loaner car.
Hop in and turn the key. crickets!
JCranford: "This car is dead man"
Me: "Things die. You'll see"
"To the FBO!" I shouted.
I bounded and he pranced and together we managed to extract a pair of jumper cables from a young transsexual sitting behind the counter at the FBO.
I hooked the cables up to a running car and as I handed Mr. Cranford the live ends I thought "This is my opportunity. This is my Tango and Cash moment" but no there was no way to make it look like an accident since I had said the Tango and Cash thing out loud and not in my head.
We jumped the car and drove toward a known mob hideaway disguised as a pizza place ironically called hideaway.
A storm was building to the north (This will be important information later. So remember it.)
On the way back, the storm which had been building earlier (remember?) was in full effect as they used to say.
He knew we would have to wait it out but I explained that I have getthere-itis and as such, there would be no waiting.
The pedal was on the floor of the barely living Ford Focus.
"Turn Left!" he shouted.
I did but just as we turned, a train came speeding by. The gate closed in front of us.
It was then I had the thought "I need to get this car stalled on the tracks somehow"
I threw it into reverse and took my first right and drove that little crap car for all it was worth.
With every cross street, I could see the train. I finally got ahead of it.
Hard left to try to get in front of the train with hopes of leaping out at the last second.
Damned if the left I made wasn't the only street that goes under the train bridge.
"DAMMIT!" I yelled
He asks "What? That is a good thing we don't have to wait for it."
I explain that was a "Dammit" of joy.
We got to the airport and gave the jumper cables to Pam Bob at the FBO and He/She asked if we wanted fuel. We were almost out but we didn't have time. The storm was here pressing against the base leg for 21
In my frantic rush, I had a brief moment of clarity where I realized how much the chocks looked like nun chucks. I chuckled in my head as I mentally labeled them Nun chocks but either way no chance of making that look like an accident especially since once again I had just said aloud "I bet you could kill a guy with nun chocks like these"
"Dammit!" I thought to myself (not a joy dammit this time)
Ole JC was looking pale. He started having doubts. It was too late he was in the plane and I was taxiing.
He pleaded for me to stop, at one point threatening to pull the chute to thwart the flight home.
I put him in his place "Oh such a skydiver has to use the chute. Can't land without it right? A real man falls until the last part stops moving." Playing the chute hater card seemed to have worked with him but the tower was not amused.
"And where do you think you are going VFR Sandals?" the tower chimed in.
Me: "Am I being detained?"
Me: "I'm a free inhabitant!!!"
I screamed it onto the mic a few more times.
Nothing more from the tower as we headed back.
Lightning strikes flirted with the plane as we ascended, tickling the tail of the plane continuously like a transsexual with jumper cables until we were at altitude.
Out of energy, I decided this wasn't the right day to take out Dr. Cranford.
A simple quiet flight home with another perfect landing confirmed for me this was to be nothing more than just another dinner flight for the log book. Next Time Mr. Dr. Cranford!!!!!
^ So like 12% of that is true. You can decide which parts.
I did get a chance to meet and fly with JCranford yesterday. Super nice guy that has me 80% convinced to go sky diving but I am so scared of the thought of it that I dunno. We grabbed a pizza from hideaway and I brought one home for Mrs. 6PC (Her favorite pizza place) I got home at 10: 30 and she actually got out of bed and threw a slice in the oven cursing me the whole time "I already brushed my teeth grumble grumble but I can't not have a slice"
Good flight, Good food and a little adventure along the way.
Nice to meet you sir!
Holy crap that was funny 
