Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

From the archives: How many yuppies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Yuppies don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
 
Once upon a time, there was a little country boy who lived in a home without indoor plumbing. The little boy hated their outhouse because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and smelled gross all year long.
One boring day, after a huge spring rain made the creek rise nearly to the outhouse, he decided to push the evil thing into the creek. He pushed and pushed until he got it rocking back and forth and finally it toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night, his dad confronted him. "Someone pushed our outhouse into the creek today. Tell the truth, son. It was you, wasn't it?" "Yes, dad, it was." "Then tonight, after dinner, you and I are heading for the woodshed." "But, dad," argued the boy, "in school we learned that when George Washington was little, he chopped down a cherry tree and he didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
His dad replied, "Well, son, that may be, but George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree!"
 
I guess that I need to add Mahneuvers to my list of older pilots, but need a better indication of actual age first. :) PM if you wish to inform me.

My list has 10 over 80. Bobmrg was the only one older than I am, but he flew west....
 
geezer said:
I guess that I need to add Mahneuvers to my list of older pilots...
Click to expand...
I'm still 22 years from being able to apply for UFO membership.

Two years ago during a triathlon, a spectator stepped forward to hi-five me saying, "hooray for the old guys"! He of course meant well, but, that was the first time I can remember of being publicly called out as a member of team old. :)
 
Happy to learn you are very young.

Being identified as an "Old Guy by strangers is interesting, I was sailing single handed down the Potomac river, the wind died, and I started the outboard, but it lit the low oil light. I had no oil with me, and hailed a bass boat, and asked for an ounce of oil, he provided, and I offered to pay.

"That is OK, I always look out for old folks".

That evening, I pulled into the Quantico Marina for the night, and in the morning, walked to the restaurant next to the rail station for breakfast, and walking back, met the harbormaster in his golf cart, he stopped and asked if I would like a ride with him? OK, and climbed in, he did a U turn, and took me to my slip. I was surprised, and asked why.

"We make sure we look out for the old folks here".

Wow, twice in 24 hours.. do I really look that old?

In spite of my apparent age and potential infirmity, I continued down to Point Lookout Park, 2 more days of relaxed sailing. The wind and waves on the Chesapeake bay were too robust for my skills and strength, I called a buddy, he brought my trailer, and the part of the trip to Baltimore was canceled.

Old brings with it experience. Those who learn from experience, and stay within their abilities fare well in life. 90 years of experience, judgement said sell the sailboat last year, but life is still active and interesting. Last PIC was 2 years ago.:)


EDITED to add "And this is in the Joke thread? Weird how conversations drift due to other peoples thoughts.
 
geezer said:
...the Chesapeake bay...
Click to expand...
We've covered the same ground. My parents kept a Columbia 28 on the Severn in the late 60s then a Cape Dory 33 on the Rappahannock initially before moving it to the Chester renting it while they lived on the South.
 
Well, it seems the worldwide economic turmoil continues. I just read an article about the crisis going on in the Japanese banking industry. Last week it was announced that Origami Bank was folding, and now we're hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank is cutting back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is now up for sale and most insiders say it will go for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have gone into a nose dive, and about 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank have been given the chop. While details aren't known yet, auditors suspect there's something fishy at Sushi Bank and employees are anticipating a raw deal.
 
During an interview to become an AME, one of the bureaudocs from OKC asked the physician applicant, "Doctor, have you ever made a serious mistake while treating a patient?" The AME wannabe replied, "Yes, I'm afraid that I once cured a mulitmillionaire in only three visits."

I understand he's now a HIMS AME.
 
Half Fast said:
During an interview to become an AME, one of the bureaudocs from OKC asked the physician applicant, "Doctor, have you ever made a serious mistake while treating a patient?" The AME wannabe replied, "Yes, I'm afraid that I once cured a mulitmillionaire in only three visits."

I understand he's now a HIMS AME.
Click to expand...
Likely failed to do a wallet biopsy.
 
Half Fast said:
...something fishy at Sushi Bank and employees are anticipating a raw deal.
Click to expand...
Buoy, at first I thought you were trolling but the jig is up -- it's a reel problem. There's a shoal lot going on that we don't know spawning a lot of fear, but, they clearly fell for a bait and switch scam. Shore, it's a small fry bank up to their gills in debt. The CEO and auditor are chums and can tackle this. The tide is turning in their favor as naysayers cast barbs, angling to take them down. Cod all this be true? We'll sea.
 
Mahneuvers said:
Buoy, at first I thought you were trolling but the jig is up -- it's a reel problem. There's a shoal lot going on that we don't know spawning a lot of fear, but, they clearly fell for a bait and switch scam. Shore, it's a small fry bank up to their gills in debt. The CEO and auditor are chums and can tackle this. The tide is turning in their favor as naysayers cast barbs, angling to take them down. Cod all this be true? We'll sea.
Click to expand...
Are you shore it's a real problem? They could be just channeling some sort of inner fear of failure. You know, afraid if all the sharks in the market. I'd say it's a whale of a problem but it's worth caution to not be catfished.
 
Half Fast said:
Personally, I think they’re going to flounder, but I’ll follow the story just for the halibut.
Click to expand...
You can always tell a lefteye flounder from the others 'cause bothidae eyes on the left side of they head.

Nauga,
racing to the bottom
 
Y’all are drowning us with these puns. It’s making me crabby.
 
Interviewer: "If someone were to break into your house with the intent to harm your family what are you going to do?"

Me: "I'm calling 811."

Interviewer: "Pardon, don't you mean to say 911?"

Me: "Nope. Too late for that, I need to know where I can dig a hole."

1737760929246.png
 
Half Fast said:
Well, it seems the worldwide economic turmoil continues. I just read an article about the crisis going on in the Japanese banking industry. Last week it was announced that Origami Bank was folding, and now we're hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank is cutting back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is now up for sale and most insiders say it will go for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have gone into a nose dive, and about 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank have been given the chop. While details aren't known yet, auditors suspect there's something fishy at Sushi Bank and employees are anticipating a raw deal.
Click to expand...


I think I'll take a stab at the Hara-Kiri Bank.
 
FORANE said:
When the temperature drops below your age it is time to move South.
Click to expand...
The only trouble is that I think you have end up in Equador or something before you get to that equilibrium.

It's cold here right now.
 
Crazy stuff. Last week we struggled to get above zero. This weekend I'll very likely tap the maple trees in the back yard (below freezing at night, above freezing during the day).
 
Last edited:
Domenick said:
Looks like a European power outlet. UK?
Click to expand...

Half Fast said:
I think UK would have the bottom slots aligned horizontally. Might be Australia. It's obviously some place that uses a facsimile of English.
Click to expand...

AV8R_87 said:
It's ok, it has a power switch. They can turn it off before attempting to remove your hands.


'stralia, mate! (or their Kiwi neighbors)
Click to expand...
It's either India (type D plug) or South Africa (type M plug). Australia, New Zealand, and China uses type I plugs with blades, not round connections.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top