[rant]Why I hate Christmas[rant]

[Sac Arrow]

I don't know, where do I start.

1. Gift giving

I'm not a cheap bastige. But I really hate buying obligatory gifts that are not really very useful or desired. I am very particular on my 'stuff.' The Other Person is very particular on her 'stuff.' Thank you for the bike jerseys but I really wanted... (bad example. I really do like those jerseys.) I spend hours trying to decide on something that is needed, and nothing is, and each year that goes by, less is needed, so it all becomes super fluous. I WOULD BE PERFECTLY HAPPY with a gift card or money. But in this household that is irrelevant. That means nothing. It all comes out of the same till. Maybe for outside of family members that is a good choice but for example, my own folks and I have agreed to just trade cards. I'm super happy with that. I'd be happy to eliminate the cards.

2. It's cold

I hate the cold. Sorry, but I do. I have had hypothermia in the past and I'm sorry, I can't put on enough stuff to make the pain go away when it's cold. I should move to California or something. Oh, right, I already live here. Maybe Florida. Um... no.

3. Commercialization

When I was a kid I loved the flashy lights and all of these things. As I grew older, I gradually started to lose my patience with all of this Hallmark stuff and the movies are especially vile. Not vile exactly but just stupid toned down mild melodrama. I'd rather watch a Lava Lamp for hours. Go out and buy stuff. That is the message of the season.

4. It's about religion, but not really

I'm not that religious. At least not in a Christian sense. I believe in God. I do not believe any single faith is a singular exclusive pathway to God. I do not want to get in to a religious debate. That is not the purpose of this thread. I respect all faiths. The point I am making is that Christmas, particularly, is not a Christian holiday. Santa, the yule log, the tree, are all the Catholic churches concessions to the Pagans to get them to come over. Jesus wasn't born in a snow drift. Maybe the shifting sands looked a lot like snow.

5. I hate Christmas music

I like music, don't get me wrong. But Christmas music, to me, embodies all things 1 through 4 and then 5 too, recumbently. I hate chestnuts roasting over an open fire. I hate chestnuts roasting in my oven, because when I tried it they all exploded and it looked as if there were a hundred exploded squirrel brains inside. When I hear 'Let it snow" I think of Bruce Willis tackling bad guys in an iconic action movie. When I hear Frank Sinatra I think of mob bosses gunning innocent people down with Chicago typewriters.

6. Expectations

I don't like hanging out at other people's houses. Five minutes is cool. Five hours is not. I hate company parties. I don't need a company party as an excuse to drink. Or eat. I am very happy about ten months out of the year. Then starting about Thanksgiving things go downhill and I want to fast forward to March.

7. It's dark all the time

I get up and go to work in the dark. I drive home in the dark. I like the dark for sleeping. I don't like the dark for driving, riding my bicycle, going for walks, working on my suntan, or swimming at the beach. Especially when it is cold.

8. The ladies are all overdressed

That's right. Fur coats. Leather coats. Scarves. Hats. No halter tops. No vented leggings. I'm a warm weather animal, not a cold weather animal. But I am an animal. I have animal needs. Animal desires. I like my kitty treats promptly every day at 4.00 pm.

9. 5-0 is on a mission

That's right. If you drive don't drink, if you drink don't drive. Tis the season to peak a huge industry fed by draconian fines that employs manufacturers of vehicular interlocks societal re educational programs, and scores of affiliated 'services.' That's a whole new topic in itself. Back when I learned to drive the cops would stop me and tell me to get my drunk a## home. Nowadays, capital murder would be a downgraded charge.

10. Christmas spinoffs

For f*ks sake. Why do we need Kwanzaa? Why do we need Festivus? Why do we need the plethora of alternate holidays some people feel the need to celebrate in a Christmas fashion but they can't because they feel alienated by Christians? Or it it something else that is going on?

 

[eman1200]

I’ll shut up now.

 

[Half Fast]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Matthew]

Merry Christmas!

 

[455 Bravo Uniform]

2 & 7 get really old. 7 will start to swing the other way in about 10 days, but 2 is going to last a while. If you move closer to the equator, 2 & 7 go away, and 8 as well. If you move outside of the US, a few of the others might go away too. Send pics please for the rest of us.

 

[wanttaja]

5. I hate Christmas music

I like music, don't get me wrong. But Christmas music, to me, embodies all things 1 through 4 and then 5 too, recumbently. I hate chestnuts roasting over an open fire. I hate chestnuts roasting in my oven, because when I tried it they all exploded and it looked as if there were a hundred exploded squirrel brains inside. When I hear 'Let it snow" I think of Bruce Willis tackling bad guys in an iconic action movie. When I hear Frank Sinatra I think of mob bosses gunning innocent people down with Chicago typewriters.

Shoot, me too. I get around it with, ummm, "non-traditional" Christmas music. I used to hand out CDs of what I called my "Angry Santa" collection:

Christmas songs to cheer you up:

"Christmastime in Hell" by South Park ("Let's dance in blood and pretend it's snow")

"Patrick Swayze Christmas," by the MST3K crew. ("We'll decorate the barstool, and stand around and sing...")

"Oh, Lutefisk!" by Stanley Boreson ("How fragrant your aroma....you put me in a coma.")

"The Elves Save Christmas Day" by Fry, Leela, and Bender (Futurama) ("We are free and fairly sober, with so many toys to build. The machines are kinda tricky, probably someone will be killed...")

"Nuttin' for Christmas" by Spike Jones ("I put a tack in teacher's chair...")

"Oh Little Town of Bethlehem," Bob Rivers' version (the traditional lyrics to the music of "House of the Rising Sun.")

Ron Wanttaja

 

[frfly172]

HO HO HO

 

[Half Fast]

Maybe Florida. Um... no.

Good decision. Thank you.

 

[wanttaja]

Oh, and if you want to have fun, when someone wishes you "Merry Christmas", come back with "Happy Hogmanay." It's the Scottish New Year's holiday.

The fun thing is, it isn't a modern invention like Festivus. It actually predates Christmas in Scotland as an official holiday for hundreds of years.

Ron "Waiting for a dark foot" Wanttaja

 

[Tools]

You didn’t mention Christmas movies…

Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Elf, Grinch, Top Gun…. NEVER get old!

Just sayin…

 

[Dana]

"Oh Little Town of Bethlehem," Bob Rivers' version (the traditional lyrics to the music of "House of the Rising Sun.")

Oh... wow...

 

[Brad W]

someone needs a visit from three ghosts tonight....

 

[Racerx]

Some Christmas music deserves a listen...

 

[hindsight2020]

Your location says NC, not CA. At any rate, heard of snowbirds? You're not alone on the aversion to cold thing. I grew up in a place where Xmas is not associated with cold. I'm not gonna suggest places, since I don't want ya overpriced housing equity-refugees go and eff up my future geoarbitrage escape pod plans.

The part that does create friction in my life is the economic angle. It's got very expensive to go through this month. First time this year I'm unable to go see my family after decades of paying waaay too much, Jerome Powell finally served me a headshot in 2020. I'm even contemplating taking up a meh job in a couple years just for CASS/EZ20. Taking a jerb for the employee discount...That's how on my arse I am right now wrt holiday travel. So much for xmas charity... ho ho ho. Digressing.

Merry Holidays!

 

[luvflyin]

I don't know, where do I start.

1. Gift giving

I'm not a cheap bastige. But I really hate buying obligatory gifts that are not really very useful or desired. I am very particular on my 'stuff.' The Other Person is very particular on her 'stuff.' Thank you for the bike jerseys but I really wanted... (bad example. I really do like those jerseys.) I spend hours trying to decide on something that is needed, and nothing is, and each year that goes by, less is needed, so it all becomes super fluous. I WOULD BE PERFECTLY HAPPY with a gift card or money. But in this household that is irrelevant. That means nothing. It all comes out of the same till. Maybe for outside of family members that is a good choice but for example, my own folks and I have agreed to just trade cards. I'm super happy with that. I'd be happy to eliminate the cards.

2. It's cold

I hate the cold. Sorry, but I do. I have had hypothermia in the past and I'm sorry, I can't put on enough stuff to make the pain go away when it's cold. I should move to California or something. Oh, right, I already live here. Maybe Florida. Um... no.

3. Commercialization

When I was a kid I loved the flashy lights and all of these things. As I grew older, I gradually started to lose my patience with all of this Hallmark stuff and the movies are especially vile. Not vile exactly but just stupid toned down mild melodrama. I'd rather watch a Lava Lamp for hours. Go out and buy stuff. That is the message of the season.

4. It's about religion, but not really

I'm not that religious. At least not in a Christian sense. I believe in God. I do not believe any single faith is a singular exclusive pathway to God. I do not want to get in to a religious debate. That is not the purpose of this thread. I respect all faiths. The point I am making is that Christmas, particularly, is not a Christian holiday. Santa, the yule log, the tree, are all the Catholic churches concessions to the Pagans to get them to come over. Jesus wasn't born in a snow drift. Maybe the shifting sands looked a lot like snow.

5. I hate Christmas music

I like music, don't get me wrong. But Christmas music, to me, embodies all things 1 through 4 and then 5 too, recumbently. I hate chestnuts roasting over an open fire. I hate chestnuts roasting in my oven, because when I tried it they all exploded and it looked as if there were a hundred exploded squirrel brains inside. When I hear 'Let it snow" I think of Bruce Willis tackling bad guys in an iconic action movie. When I hear Frank Sinatra I think of mob bosses gunning innocent people down with Chicago typewriters.

6. Expectations

I don't like hanging out at other people's houses. Five minutes is cool. Five hours is not. I hate company parties. I don't need a company party as an excuse to drink. Or eat. I am very happy about ten months out of the year. Then starting about Thanksgiving things go downhill and I want to fast forward to March.

7. It's dark all the time

I get up and go to work in the dark. I drive home in the dark. I like the dark for sleeping. I don't like the dark for driving, riding my bicycle, going for walks, working on my suntan, or swimming at the beach. Especially when it is cold.

8. The ladies are all overdressed

That's right. Fur coats. Leather coats. Scarves. Hats. No halter tops. No vented leggings. I'm a warm weather animal, not a cold weather animal. But I am an animal. I have animal needs. Animal desires. I like my kitty treats promptly every day at 4.00 pm.

9. 5-0 is on a mission

That's right. If you drive don't drink, if you drink don't drive. Tis the season to peak a huge industry fed by draconian fines that employs manufacturers of vehicular interlocks societal re educational programs, and scores of affiliated 'services.' That's a whole new topic in itself. Back when I learned to drive the cops would stop me and tell me to get my drunk a## home. Nowadays, capital murder would be a downgraded charge.

10. Christmas spinoffs

For f*ks sake. Why do we need Kwanzaa? Why do we need Festivus? Why do we need the plethora of alternate holidays some people feel the need to celebrate in a Christmas fashion but they can't because they feel alienated by Christians? Or it it something else that is going on?

 

[AV8R_87]

1. Gift giving

We gift ourselves a nice vacation in a warm place, where we can be outdoors in broad daylight for most of the day. Australia or New Zealand are great at this time of the year.

2. It's cold

See #1.

3. Commercialization

It's easy to ignore.

4. It's about religion, but not really

True, see #3.

5. I hate Christmas music

I give you the Vince Guaraldi's "A Charlie Brown Christmas". You can't hate that.

6. Expectation

See #1. Go to the other hemisphere for the winter.

7. It's dark all the time

Back to #1.

8. The ladies are all overdressed

#1 solves that as well.

9. 5-0 is on a mission

See #1, stay in a warm place, enjoy your margarita and don't drive.

10. Christmas spinoffs

Happy St Nicholas, the original Santa.

 

[TCABM]

I don’t hat Christmas per se, it’s just another day on the calendar.

I do hate that people pretty much stop being productive the Friday before Thanksgiving and don’t really get back into the swing of things until after sportsball ends in February.

 

[Iflydogs]

Why I love Christmas

1. Gift giving

Granted economically not efficient. And lots of stuff I buy and get is not essential. But every once in a while you give something that elicits joy, or get something you love but woukd never buy fir yourself.

2. It's cold

I love the cold. Went to the North Pole, loved it. Spent alot of time in Svalbard and Mongolia sub -30s. Love it.

3. Commercialization

Ever been to a near-deserted theme park? It’s then you realize the crowds make the fun there. Same with a mall. It’s just fun, all the people so excited.

4. It's about religion, but not just that

At my church we fill these shoeboxes and send them to kids in Africa. So much fun, walking through a Dollar General and shopping for a kid, thinking about how they’ll like it.

5. I love Christmas music

Completely cheesy and overplayed but what they lack in quality they make up in ephermality.

6. Expectations

You see people you don’t see that often.

7. It's dark all the time

Winter is a time for the body to hunker down and sit next to a warm coal fire and read and text with misanthropes.

8. The ladies are all overdressed

Way back when I bought some sun dresses for my daughter; wife and daughter were gobsmacked that I’d picked out really nice ones. How did you do that? “I’ve been noticing how girls dressed since I was 8 years old!” Love the way women dress up. Men don’t bother anymore but women still do.

9. 5-0 is on a mission

Restaurants sell food at cost and make their margin on booze; if you drink water and wait to drink til you are home you save a ton of money and don’t have to worry about the cops.

10. Christmas spinoffs

Am sure the pagans considered Christmas a spinoff; to each his own.

 

[Flatiowa]

It used to bother me the stores started putting Christmas stuff out a day or two before thanksgiving, this year I saw an area Menards had a full chistmas display section out the second week of October

I’m just waiting now for the marketing department geniuses to start celebrating “half Christmas” in June so they can just alternate between the two.

 

[Van Johnston]

What does Christmas have to do with 2 and 7?

 

[Half Fast]

At my church we fill these shoeboxes and send them to kids in Africa. So much fun, walking through a Dollar General and shopping for a kid, thinking about how they’ll like it.

My family and a few friends and I just returned from Charlotte where we spent a couple of days at the Samaritan’s Purse processing center sorting and packing those shoeboxes into shipping cartons. Thanks for packing boxes!

 

[Iflydogs]

My family and a few friends and I just returned from Charlotte where we spent a couple of days at the Samaritan’s Purse processing center sorting and packing those shoeboxes into shipping cartons. Thanks for packing boxes!

Yeah that’s the one! I did not realize how big they are! I filled mine for a 10-14 yo girl and put all this counterintuitive stuff in like a siccer ball and geometry drawing instruments. No dolls.

 

[Half Fast]

Yeah that’s the one! I did not realize how big they are! I filled mine for a 10-14 yo girl and put all this counterintuitive stuff in like a siccer ball and geometry drawing instruments. No dolls.

On Thursday I worked a mid shift and halfway through the day the facility had already packed up 80,000 shoeboxes for that day. They said that they were headed for Ecuador and Peru. It’s an amazing organization.

 

[asicer]

I’m just waiting now for the marketing department geniuses to start celebrating “half Christmas” in June so they can just alternate between the two.

The wait is over.

Christmas in July - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Jim K]

You didn’t mention Christmas movies…

Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Elf, Grinch, Top Gun…. NEVER get old!

Just sayin…

You misspelled "Die Hard"

 

[luvflyin]

We gift ourselves a nice vacation in a warm place, where we can be outdoors in broad daylight for most of the day. Australia or New Zealand are great at this time of the year.

See #1.

It's easy to ignore.

True, see #3.

I give you the Vince Guaraldi's "A Charlie Brown Christmas". You can't hate that.

See #1. Go to the other hemisphere for the winter.

Back to #1.

#1 solves that as well.

See #1, stay in a warm place, enjoy your margarita and don't drive.

Happy St Nicholas, the original Santa.

This needs a Flow Chart

 

[SixPapaCharlie]

I LOVE Thanksgiving and Christmas to me is just the Thanksgiving sequel.
Same food, house smells like coffee, pine, cinnamon, Cowboys are on TV, losing to whomever they are playing.
A little too much wine.

I also don't care for the music or associated services. We have the megachurches here that are all putting on multimillion dollar spectacles which is gross (IMO).

I love the cold (Byproduct of the stupid summers here)

The adults don't buy gifts for one another but we do buy for the kids and that is a bit of magic.
Having all my family in one place feels precious and fleeting. Every couple years, there are fewer of us.

I dig it for the experience that it is in my family not what the hallmark channel or Prestonwood Baptist Church says it is. (Seriously, google their xmas extravaganza. I understand Its highly profitable)

 

[midwestpa24]

Although I tend to agree with most of your points. Does that make me old?

 

[asicer]

I LOVE Thanksgiving and Christmas to me is just the Thanksgiving sequel.
Same food, house smells like coffee, pine, cinnamon, Cowboys are on TV, losing to whomever they are playing.
A little too much wine.

Christmas is an upgrade from Thanksgiving to me.

Turkey -> Prime Rib
Pumpkin Pie -> Creme Brulee
Pumpkin Spice whatever -> Peppermint whatever

 

[SixPapaCharlie]

Christmas is an upgrade from Thanksgiving to me.

Turkey -> Prime Rib
Pumpkin Pie -> Creme Brulee
Pumpkin Spice whatever -> Peppermint whatever

That's a good point.
Most of the sides are the same as TG but our main meal tends to be a pork loin. My mom is a great cook.

 

[GaryM]

You misspelled "Die Hard"

And left off White Christmas, a Charlie Brown Christmas, and Miracle on 34th Street. The original, there was no need for the remake.

 

[asicer]

Most of the sides are the same as TG but our main meal tends to be a pork loin. My mom is a great cook.

That's cool. Everyone here wants whole turkey because carving it looks better on social media.

 

[flyingcheesehead]

I have a love-hate relationship with it...

1. Gift giving

I'm not a cheap bastige. But I really hate buying obligatory gifts that are not really very useful or desired. I am very particular on my 'stuff.' The Other Person is very particular on her 'stuff.'

I'm very particular on my stuff too... I don't want someone else to buy me an item I'm considering buying unless they buy the particular version of it I want. Of course, I've usually bought it for myself already. And in my side of the family it's always "What do you want for Christmas?" and then buy the thing. No creativity or surprise at all, really.

Then, there's my wife's side of the family. My mother-in-law is the best gift-giver I know, and my wife is a close second. I think I have everything, but I swear my MIL can go to the dollar store and find me something I didn't even know I needed. I have at least three gifts from her that I use literally every day, and they aren't the super fancy electronic kinds of things I usually want to buy for myself, they're just small but super useful things. I really wish I could learn that skill! Alas, it seems I was born without that part of the brain, so I just let my wife do all the Christmas shopping for everyone, and then I try really hard to figure out something good for her (and usually fail miserably).

2. It's cold

I hate the cold. Sorry, but I do. I have had hypothermia in the past and I'm sorry, I can't put on enough stuff to make the pain go away when it's cold. I should move to California or something. Oh, right, I already live here. Maybe Florida. Um... no.

Maybe you should move to *southern* California.

But this is what I always use to remind myself why I live in a cold spot:

3. Commercialization

When I was a kid I loved the flashy lights and all of these things. As I grew older, I gradually started to lose my patience with all of this Hallmark stuff and the movies are especially vile. Not vile exactly but just stupid toned down mild melodrama. I'd rather watch a Lava Lamp for hours. Go out and buy stuff. That is the message of the season.

Go buy the stuff you needed anyway when it's on sale. That may be before or after Christmas. Or it may be some other time... But if you pay attention there are good deals to be had.

4. It's about religion, but not really

I'm not that religious. At least not in a Christian sense. I believe in God. I do not believe any single faith is a singular exclusive pathway to God. I do not want to get in to a religious debate. That is not the purpose of this thread. I respect all faiths. The point I am making is that Christmas, particularly, is not a Christian holiday. Santa, the yule log, the tree, are all the Catholic churches concessions to the Pagans to get them to come over. Jesus wasn't born in a snow drift. Maybe the shifting sands looked a lot like snow.

There's nothing more American than celebrating the birth of your lord and savior by engaging in excessive purchasing and demonstration of wealth.

5. I hate Christmas music

I like music, don't get me wrong. But Christmas music, to me, embodies all things 1 through 4 and then 5 too, recumbently. I hate chestnuts roasting over an open fire. I hate chestnuts roasting in my oven, because when I tried it they all exploded and it looked as if there were a hundred exploded squirrel brains inside. When I hear 'Let it snow" I think of Bruce Willis tackling bad guys in an iconic action movie. When I hear Frank Sinatra I think of mob bosses gunning innocent people down with Chicago typewriters.

This is because the same 2% of Christmas music gets played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

This is where "Whamageddon" came from. (Yes, I already lost this year.)

This year, I'm fighting back: I have created a playlist on my phone called "Christmas music that doesn't suck." It's partially thanks to a friend who is very musically oriented and used to work in the music industry, he's posting the name of a Christmas song every day and having people (including himself) reply with the best version they know, and there's been some really good ones... Even if the songs are the same, a different artist often makes it much better. Sleigh Ride? Harry Connick, Jr. The Christmas Song (aka "chestnuts roasting on an open fire")? Diana Krall (she's got several other really good ones too). See also Michael Buble and Pentatonix.

I also have a good chunk of The Nutcracker on the playlist, and some other less-played instrumental stuff.

6. Expectations

I don't like hanging out at other people's houses. Five minutes is cool. Five hours is not.

What I'm hearing is that you're hosting this year. I like egg nog and hot buttered rum (not in in the same mug tho).

I hate company parties. I don't need a company party as an excuse to drink. Or eat.

I've been to really good ones and really bad ones. You usually don't know which you're going to get until you're there, though. At least the food and drinks are paid for. (If not, don't go unless they're paying you...)

10. Christmas spinoffs

For f*ks sake. Why do we need Kwanzaa? Why do we need Festivus? Why do we need the plethora of alternate holidays some people feel the need to celebrate in a Christmas fashion but they can't because they feel alienated by Christians? Or it it something else that is going on?

Nope, you nailed it.

The part that does create friction in my life is the economic angle. It's got very expensive to go through this month. First time this year I'm unable to go see my family after decades of paying waaay too much, Jerome Powell finally served me a headshot in 2020. I'm even contemplating taking up a meh job in a couple years just for CASS/EZ20. Taking a jerb for the employee discount...That's how on my arse I am right now wrt holiday travel.

So you're going to take a job with travel benefits so you can get home for Christmas, but you're going to have to work on Christmas for the first dozen years or so?

 

[Bill]

1.) @Sac Arrow , dude, you need a Snickers. And, rant quality 6.3, not your best work.

2.) @AV8R_87 , his version of "What Child is This" is beautiful and mezmerizing, one of my Christmas favorites. It's also not Christmas without these guys:

3.) @TCABM , vacations as well. My rule was people were useless for half of vacation time preceding the vacation and half of vacation time after vacation, meaning the total vacation productivity hit is 2V.

4.) @Half Fast , I need to join you all in Charlotte one of these years, that's a great cause!

5.) Christmas movies: I'm still a sucker for "It's a Wonderful Life"

 

[Half Fast]

4.) @Half Fast , I need to join you all in Charlotte one of these years, that's a great cause!

Want me to sign you up for next year?

 

[Bill]

PM coming your way.

 

[mcdewey]

Here you go.

 

[Let'sgoflying!]

Another “Christmas gift” totaling thousands, to employees from a tiny company… resulting in minimal gratitude.
To add to your list.

 

[Matthew]

 

[ateamer]

I like putting up some lights outdoors and a few decorations inside, and traditional Christmas movies - Die Hard, A Christmas Story, Elf, Bad Santa, Die Hard 2, and Christmas cookies. I can’t stand Christmas music, and it really gores my ox that I pay XM for specific channels and they go and change one of my favorites (Prime Country) to bland Christmas dreck for a whole month. Bad enough to have to hear a bunch of has-beens playing DJ and mumble through their dentures about some concert in 1973 - I pay to not hear them talk.

But I digest. Christmas is pretty fun, as long as there’s no Christmas music. Except Bob Rivers. He’s brilliant, plus he’s a pilot. (Redundant, I know.)