Did you do any actual in training? If so, on the first day with reasonable actual (say, 500-1000 OVC), go fly. If you didn't do any actual during training, still go fly, but with a CFII. (Nothing says you can't keep using an instructor after you have the rating...) And keep doing that, until going on a short XC in actual makes you literally bored.
Go use it. Now. Early and often.
My first actual after the checkride was not a "situation that made me use it" - Quite the opposite, and on purpose. I went somewhere I didn't need to be, for no reason at all, to avoid any get-there-itis. I picked a good actual day, filed, flew KMSN-KSTE, shot an approach, landed, canceled, got my clearance outbound, and came back. No pressure at all. I highly recommend you do that a few times before there's a situation that "makes you use it" so that when you start flying missions where you do need to be at the destination on somewhat of a schedule, you're not in a situation where you're both in a rush AND somewhat green.
Nobody ever said it was too much to handle, or that they couldn't confidently hand fly an airplane in actual...
It *should* be relied upon as a primary means of flying the airplane en route, not just "during times of high cockpit workload", to keep you as fresh as possible for the approach at the end. I agree that it should not compensate for lack of instrument proficiency, but nobody in this thread said anything insinuating that they were using it that way and then you jumped down their throat and called them stupid.
I would suggest that you meet some other PoAers in person. Aviation is a small community, and we shouldn't be treating each other like that. Plus, it's fun to meet people and not just be SGOTI.