WHY AIRPLANES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

E

evapilotaz

En-Route
Joined
Feb 13, 2012
Messages
2,623
Location
Gilbert AZ. VFR All Year Baby
Display Name
Display name:
Drone airspace abuser
WHY AIRPLANES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN​
You can predict an airplane.​
If you respect an airplane it will be good to you.​
Airplane skin doesn't wrinkle as badly.​
An airplane won't criticize your performance.​
An airplane doesn't care where you were last night.​
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have​
flown before.​
Airplanes don't cost as much money.​
Airplanes don't take forever to warm up.​
Airplanes don't spend hours in front of a mirror.​
Airplanes won't keep you waiting.​
Airplanes don't cry when you break up with them.​
Airplanes don't talk back.​
Airplanes don't get headaches.​
Airplanes don't take half of everything (well, maybe they do).​
Airplanes never stand you up.​
An airplane is cheaper to maintain.​
You can keep an airplane from stalling.​
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.​
An airplane won't slap you for being a "bush pilot".​
You can easily leave an airplane before sunrise.​
Airplanes lose weight faster.​
An airplane does not get mad if you "touch and go".​
An airplane will not get mad if you “fly” someone else's airplane.​
You can calculate the peak performance of an airplane.​
You don't have to sweet-talk an airplane.​
An airplane moves when you tell it to.​
An airplane goes anywhere you direct it to.​
An airplane will kill you quick...a woman takes her time.​
An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.​
You can change the looks of an airplane.​
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.​
Airplanes don't scream.​
Women have more drag than lift.​
An airplane's payload can be calculated.​
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.​
Sometimes you can ride airplanes for free​
It's easier to understand what an airplane needs.​
Airplanes don't come with in-laws.​
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong​
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes, or if you buy​
airplane magazines​
It's always OK to use tie downs on your airplane​
However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women,​
it's a bad thing
 
Wow dude...sounds like you need to get a divorce and try to have sex with your aircraft...see how far you get with that...
 
Guess we know where your priorities lie.
 
Oh boy, a guy tries to post some humor and the bashing starts in the very next post.
I thought this place was better than the infamous red board. Are we trying to compete??
 
Airplanes always go faster and fly further when they get high.
Airplanes have a predictable response to inputs.
Airplanes require skilled mechanics to fix broken things. Wait, no difference here.

Cheers
 
Props. (heh)

Let's try it the other way, just to be all Politically Correct, Diverse and Inclusive.

Why Women are Better than Airplanes

* I don't have to spend $$$ on one just because Lycoming's / Cessna's / Mooney's / Piper's lawyers got nervous about something they might do, sometime, to someone.
* I can buy an unapproved accessory and have them wear it without a lengthy approval process.
* I can wash an entire woman in much less time than an entire airplane.
* I can live in the hangar I keep my woman in.
* No medical certification required.
* No currency requirements.
* For some lower end models, alcohol consumption before use is actually encouraged.
 
CTLSi said:
Wow dude...sounds like you need to get a divorce and try to have sex with your aircraft...see how far you get with that...
Click to expand...

You don't need an airplane or a woman for sex. Just an old sock filled with macaroni and cheese. Toss it in the microwave for about a minute....oh yeah.
 
DavidWhite said:
You don't need an airplane or a woman for sex. Just an old sock filled with macaroni and cheese. Toss it in the microwave for about a minute....oh yeah.
Click to expand...

There's Alaska living for ya....:rofl:
 
Tourist to Alaskan:

"whata y'all do up here?"

Alaskan:

"We hunt and we fvck."

Tourist:

"what do you hunt?"

Alaskan:

"something to fvck."

:D
 
Mistake Not... said:
Props. (heh)

Let's try it the other way, just to be all Politically Correct, Diverse and Inclusive.

Why Women are Better than Airplanes

* I don't have to spend $$$ on one just because Lycoming's / Cessna's / Mooney's / Piper's lawyers got nervous about something they might do, sometime, to someone.
* I can buy an unapproved accessory and have them wear it without a lengthy approval process.
* I can wash an entire woman in much less time than an entire airplane.
* I can live in the hangar I keep my woman in.
* No medical certification required.
* No currency requirements.
* For some lower end models, alcohol consumption before use is actually encouraged.
Click to expand...

In the A.I.D.S. age? I beg to differ.
 
Mistake Not... said:
Props. (heh)

Let's try it the other way, just to be all Politically Correct, Diverse and Inclusive.

Why Women are Better than Airplanes

* I don't have to spend $$$ on one just because Lycoming's / Cessna's / Mooney's / Piper's lawyers got nervous about something they might do, sometime, to someone.
* I can buy an unapproved accessory and have them wear it without a lengthy approval process.
* I can wash an entire woman in much less time than an entire airplane.
* I can live in the hangar I keep my woman in.
* No medical certification required.
* No currency requirements.
* For some lower end models, alcohol consumption before use is actually encouraged.
Click to expand...

How far behind you was your SO when you wrote that?

:yes:
 
If I had to pick something to be in from the 1940's...
 
BigBadLou said:
Oh boy, a guy tries to post some humor and the bashing starts in the very next post.

I thought this place was better than the infamous red board. Are we trying to compete??
Click to expand...


yga2a5eq.jpg


When you shut a turbine engine down, it quits whining.
 
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
 
DavidWhite said:
You don't need an airplane or a woman for sex. Just an old sock filled with macaroni and cheese. Toss it in the microwave for about a minute....oh yeah.
Click to expand...

Wow, you guys need to get out more, I mean a LOT more...
 
evapilotaz said:
To all the women on POA. These are jokes! Please don't call me a Pig :)
Click to expand...

That's right; keep us in our place...


PS - if you have to explain that it's a joke, it's probably not very funny
 
Last edited:
So Adam goes to God, decrying about his loneliness and lack of help in the Garden.

God turns to Adam: "Son, I can provide you with all the help and company you will ever need or desire. BUT, for this, you would have to offer one arm and one leg in exchange."

Adam: ".....ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?"

:D:D
 
Jeff Oslick said:
How far behind you was your SO when you wrote that?

:yes:
Click to expand...

Don't currently have an SO. What I do have is an airplane and a keen understanding of the costs involved. Airplanes are NOT "better" than women. Women are NOT better than airplanes. At best, it's a case of "which one is annoying me less" at a given time.

This is why it's important to make two lists. :)
 
BigBadLou said:
Oh boy, a guy tries to post some humor and the bashing starts in the very next post.
I thought this place was better than the infamous red board. Are we trying to compete??
Click to expand...

We have a humor thread.
 
:rofl:
hindsight2020 said:
So Adam goes to God, decrying about his loneliness and lack of help in the Garden.

God turns to Adam: "Son, I can provide you with all the help and company you will ever need or desire. BUT, for this, you would have to offer one arm and one leg in exchange."

Adam: ".....ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?"

:D:D
Click to expand...

LOL :rofl:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top