When it Rains, It Pours

bstratt

bstratt

Cleared for Takeoff
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Feb 23, 2005
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Early August I wrote about my Mom dying:
http://www.pilotsofamerica.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30461

Well she hung on and hung on, fighting every scrap of the way, until Sunday night, Oct 18th, we got the call from the Doctors to gather. My wife and I left Chicago on Monday morning and arrived Monday evening at 7:00pm. She died Tuesday morning at 9:15am.

It was a horrible death! I only hope the "legally maximum" doses of morphine the doctors were giving her kept her unaware of her sufferring.

Memorial service on Friday (during which I read 4 eulogies), followed by internment on Saturday at a private family affair.

We were staying with my Dad that week for moral support and spent most of Saturday night talking. Went to bed with the alarm set for 5:00am to get up and drive to Chicago. At 2:00am my Dad is knocking on the door saying he's sick - pains across the chest, grey faced, sweating and light headed. We were out of bed in a flash and walking into Emergency at 2:35am. Heart rate 150-160 and very irregular. Atrial fibrillation. Meds and IV got it down relatively quickly, but still irregular.

Two weeks before this he had been disgnosed with a 5.9 abdominal aortic aneurysm (Triple A) but had delayed getting it seen to until after Mom's funeral. He was scheduled to go in this Thursday.

I phoned my siblings at 7:00am, who quickly joined me. By 8:00am it looked like he might be released so my wife and I left to drive home after a little over 2 hours sleep.

They kept him in. Over night his blood pressure crashed but they got it back up again. They now tell me the order of things is to:
1. Correct the irregular heart beat
2. Determine if a previously minor heart artery blockage is a concern and possibly do a stent or bypass
3. Only after all the above is now okay, attack the AAA.

My Dad has very bad asthma and is more concerned about the anesthetic than the surgery.

Just don't know how much more I can take!
 
Barry, sorry to hear all that.

I suspect the stress of losing a spouse pushed your dad to where he is now. It's not uncommon - it was less than a week between the time my grandmother and her closest aunt died.

Keeping good thoughts for you and your family.
 
Tough few months for you Barry. Our thoughts are with you. make sure you take a bit of time for yourself otherwise you won't be able to help anyone.
 
Barry,

I know what you're going through. We all were called to beat feet to Pullman in early April as my dad had been given 72 hours at best. He lasted another month and his service was May 29. Mom is still hanging in there. Thoughts and prayers for you.
 
Oh, man...

Hang in there, just take it one thing at a time - focus on the job you are doing at the moment and let the big picture take care of itself.

Got you in my prayers.


And, btw morphine is good stuff. It really works.
 
Auwe.

Barry, may I suggest you talk to a trained professional. Clergy, counselor, or even a best friend. It's a rough time you're going through. Don't kid yourself that you can handle it on your own. People are relying on you and you wonder how much more you can take. Your strength is being tested.

I'll pray for you and your family.
 
You and your family will be in my prayers, as well.

-Rich
 
Another thing... about your dad. Patients are naturally afraid – of their disease, of what might happen to them, of pain, of being treated impersonally, of their doctor. While the clinician can be of great help here, so can the family.

This is a time for you and your siblings to talk to dad. Let him know you are there for him. It may prove to be cathartic for you too.

This is a time to be as human as you (we) were ever meant to be.
 
Barry...I am so sorry to hear about your mother passing and your fathers sickness. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Barry,

Like the others, I'm saddened to hear about your mother's passing and your father's illness. As Richard said, professional counsel can be invaluable. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Love and condolences to you. Wishing you the strength you need now and the rest you will need later.
 
Holy smokes!!! Hang in there, brother!

:fcross:
 
Hey Barry - prayers for peace and comfort from our family to yours.
 
Sorry to hear what your family is going through, please accept my condolences and hopes your Dad hangs in there.
A number of years ago we had 9 family members and very close friends die in a 13 month span. You think it could'nt get worse ,but it can.
My Dad, my wife's Dad ,my grandmother were especially hard. I found with my Dad it was two or three months later that it really hit me. It takes awhile, the anquish never goes away, but it does get better.
There has been some good advice given in the previous posts. Talking with others helps,----really helps!!!
These experiences start to make one think of their own mortality.
My thoughts on it now are that every day you live you are one day closer to death, I don't dwell on it, but try and do something that might make a positive difference in the world, it's the only thing left behind when it's your time to go.
Remember your Mom,celebrate her past life not her death, enjoy the time you have with your Dad he needs you , and go forward as your parent's would want you to.
It's never important when you died or how you died, it's how well you lived.
Us pilot's are luckier than most we already fly with the angel's:yesnod:
 
Good job getting your father to where he could get some help. This is a tough time for him, but for you too as well. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
 
Wow, Barry, this is a tough past few months for you. You're in my thoughts... thanks for sharing with your "family" here at POA.
 
Update on my Dad - the drugs have lowered the heart rate to the 85-95 range but have not eliminated the atrial fibrillation. My sister informed me that they will put him under some time today and try to shock the heart back into sinus rythym. Have to get that under control before moving to the next step.

Good news is the echocardiagram showed no clots.

Thanks for all the good wishes.
 
Prayers and thoughts for you and your family Barry.
 
Barry,

Hang in there.....So sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. We all wonder at times how much do we have to be tested. Know that your friends and family have you in their thoughts and prayers. Hope all goes well for your dad.
 
They put him under yesterday and shocked the heart. Sinus rhythm and a heart beat of 70-75. Great news.

Today the doppler watchamacallit on the aneurysm, angiogram to check the blockages, then a followup with the vascular surgeon on next steps.
 
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