What you don't want to find at 11,500'

A retired USAF T-38 instructor sent this along:

When I flew the T-38 I was in the back seat on an instructional flight in Spokane. Canopies go down, onto runway, HUGE hornet in my back cockpit as we released brakes. Flew behind the ejection seat as the burners lit.

On climbout, began buzzing around in front of me. Took a few checklist swipes… now the hornet was mad.

We leveled at FL 230. Ahhh a plan. Told the guy in the front seat to hit the ramp dump switch when I told him too… hornet in front of me… NOW… hornets wings began buzzing as fast as they could… to no avail. The service ceiling of a hornet (not Navy Hornet) is way below FL 230.

When it hit the deck, my flight boot took care of the rest. Repressurize and on with the mission.

Not a checklist item but that’s how to improvise.​
 
Pilawt said:
I'm grateful that my airplane has large, openable windows on both sides. :eek:
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Nothing to do with flying, but one time I was talking to a guy at an outdoor event - who was casually sipping on a soda from a can. All of a sudden he spit it out violently.
It seems that a yellow jacket had crawled in the can - and he didn't notice. It stung him on the tongue. That must have hurt....

As for aviation, once I and a companion were just boarding our plane when I noticed the air full of flying insects all around. Having seen that before, I said to her:
Quick! get in and shut the door!. She did, and the bees moved on. A narrow miss.

Dave
 
The worst was the cockpit full of mosquitoes in Iowa City at dusk and so many of them swarming around the airplane that you could see waves of them in the landing lights.

They showed up right as preflight was being completed and we dove into the airplane and my co-owner started the mass killing while I quickly taxiied to GTFO of there as we slammed all the vents closed.
 
eman1200 said:
bees. why'd it have to be bees.
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My CFI 10 years ago spotted one in the cockpit (he deathly allergic) while doing TNG's. His response was, "I want you to do a power off 180, short field, and you better not missed the first taxiway." As soon as I turned off he was out the door. I got him out and we continued the lesson. Seemed to be the Lemon Pledge used to clean the windows attracted them.
 
cessna182b said:
Nothing to do with flying, but one time I was talking to a guy at an outdoor event - who was casually sipping on a soda from a can. All of a sudden he spit it out violently.
It seems that a yellow jacket had crawled in the can - and he didn't notice. It stung him on the tongue. That must have hurt....
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Decades ago, I was out working the course at a time trial on what was left of Riverside Raceway. I set my Gatorade down on the dirt, and when I picked it up and took a swig, I got a mouthful of red ants.

I swallowed at least a few before geysering out the rest in a fine mist. Shoulda put the Gatorade cap back on...
 
denverpilot said:
The worst was the cockpit full of mosquitoes in Iowa City at dusk and so many of them swarming around the airplane that you could see waves of them in the landing lights.

They showed up right as preflight was being completed and we dove into the airplane and my co-owner started the mass killing while I quickly taxiied to GTFO of there as we slammed all the vents closed.
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My worst was a right seat full of ADHD CAP cadet, who couldn't keep his $*#@% feet off the rudder pedals. Oh, you meant worst insect....

That kid asked for another orientation ride this weekend. Umm, no. At least, not in the front seat.
 
We were working on the plane and the A&P asked what kind of wasp that was that just landed. "That is an arsehole wasp... all wasps are arsehole wasps"
 
Earlier this summer, I was riding my dirt bike following a friend. It felt like he kicked up something sharp that hit me in the neck/top of my chest. It felt like a little shard of glass or something sharp. Owch, whatever, disregard, keep riding.

Then it hit me further down my chest. And again. And again. And AGAIN! Freakin' YEOWCH! A wasp had just so happened to fly down my jersey/body armor, got trapped, freaked out, and started stinging.

I pulled over, and pushed the thing against my (admittedly not too rock hard) body. It didn't like getting smushed into my pudgeyness, and it stung again and again. I smushed and re-smushed, nothing doing, it just made it madder.

I had to take off my helmet, lose my Leatt neck brace, and open the top of my jersey and body armor, and the little bugger flew out.

I usually get stung once or twice a year at most. This took care of a few years worth of stings.
 
I was driving around (I had a convertible back then with very bright yellow/black seats and that thing attracted wasps like crazy). One memorable time was when 3 or 4 them were crawling around the backrest when I sat in the car. They had the perfect camouflage. Got 6 or 7 stings at one go. Highly enjoyable.
 
mtuomi said:
I was driving around (I had a convertible back then with very bright yellow/black seats and that thing attracted wasps like crazy). One memorable time was when 3 or 4 them were crawling around the backrest when I sat in the car. They had the perfect camouflage. Got 6 or 7 stings at one go. Highly enjoyable.
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That is the s!ht of nightmares for me! Now I have the heebies and the jeebies.
 
I had a male mouse spider crawl out from behind my autopilot controls the other day.
 
At 11,500 feet turn off the heat, open the vents and get it cold in there, he won't move once it gets cold enough. Or just jump out and let him land it!!
 
WASP in the cockpit?

Here a much more attractive one:

300px-NARA-542191-WASP-pilot.jpg
 
mtuomi said:
I was driving around (I had a convertible back then with very bright yellow/black seats and that thing attracted wasps like crazy). One memorable time was when 3 or 4 them were crawling around the backrest when I sat in the car. They had the perfect camouflage. Got 6 or 7 stings at one go. Highly enjoyable.
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With seats that ugly you needed a sting or two....!
 
Matthew said:
Another fun thing is to preflight, see one of those suckers buzzing around, try to swat it away ftom the open door, and watch it fly in and crawl under the seat where you can't reach it to get rid of it. Then you get to wonder, during your whole flight, when it's going to reappear.
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One afternoon I saw my student walk back into the FBO, hand the keys back and kept walking to the front door. The dude never said a word. I started to get up to ask the guy "WTF" when another student ran in breathless. He said when that guy opened the door to his plane he disturbed a hornet nest being built....... :eek::eek::eek:
 
Wasp nesting season and bird nesting season are interesting. Neither of those two critters will give up easily once they decide to build a nest. They are persistent. I watched a bird trying to build a nest on top of the vertical stab of some turboprop one afternoon. It kept sliding down the leading edge with a twig in its mouth. A couple of rampers and I watched and laughed for nearly 20 minutes before it finally gave up. Once in a while we get wasps trying to build nests inside our garage. If I get a chance to close the door when the wasp leaves, it will bang against the garage door for hours trying to get back inside.
 
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