What kind of wife should I get?

Friday humor email from a vendor....


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous


The great question, which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Dumas


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud


'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous



'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison


'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra


Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra




The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash



You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous



My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield




A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous



First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous
 
Siamese twins joined at the wallet...
 
I have never met anything that is so confusing, so complex, and so irrational. AND I always do the wrong thing. It is like gambling, and I am not a gambler. X input never gives Y output. You get Z. I'd rather have the compression conversation with my mechanic.
 
Anthony said:
I have never met anything that is so confusing, so complex, and so irrational. AND I always do the wrong thing. It is like gambling, and I am not a gambler. X input never gives Y output. You get Z. I'd rather have the compression conversation with my mechanic.
Click to expand...
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
Aint that the truth!
 
German guy said:
Now, what about one from Florida? Most of them are pretty vintage and often had long term prior owners, who however eventually passed away.
I heard that even though such models spent many years outside in the sun and the harsh humid climate, many of them offer great financial benefits if you are willing to take proper care of them... :confused: :dunno: :rolleyes: :D
Click to expand...
heh - a couple years ago the local morning sports radio guys were playing the "Ginger or Mary Ann" game. Two of the guys took their pick, then asked the third. Without a pause, he said, "Mrs. Howell". There was that dead-air radio pause, then he added, "Why not? She's old, she'll die soon, and she's RICH! Then I can get Ginger AND Mary Ann!"
 
Anthony said:
I have never met anything that is so confusing, so complex, and so irrational. AND I always do the wrong thing. It is like gambling, and I am not a gambler. X input never gives Y output. You get Z. I'd rather have the compression conversation with my mechanic.
Click to expand...

And then they get to menopause. :(

Seen on a t-shirt worn by a middle aged woman:

"I have hotflashes and a handgun, any questions?"

No, Ma'am. :sad:
 
Also should I get one with single door entry, two door entry, or open cockpit?
 
Bill Jennings said:
And then they get to menopause. :(

Seen on a t-shirt worn by a middle aged woman:

"I have hotflashes and a handgun, any questions?"

No, Ma'am. :sad:
Click to expand...

I like the t shirt: "51 percent sweetie and 49 percent "witch" Don't push me!!
 
EdFred said:
Also should I get one with single door entry, two door entry, or open cockpit?
Click to expand...

Depending on future considerations, you may want a cargo door and two other entry points. Safety first!
 
Well, considering what has happened this past year, I figured it was time for a necrobump on this thread.

How do you think I did? :rofl:
 
The Ess-eating grin on your face betrays your success. And hampers your editing skills (your NOTE on post 1 says 2002 currently).
 
Pics or it didn’t happen.
 
From what I observed at Rough River this year, All appears well. Not to mention you weren’t shot after the epic relocation journey from Florida.

Cheers
 
The age of the thread is the only excuse for this not being "Thinking about a wife..." thread.
 
Make sure she’s a radial. Some of those horizontally opposed wives can be very hard to start post wedding.
 
Bill said:
Make sure she’s a radial. Some of those horizontally opposed wives can be very hard to start post wedding.
Click to expand...
But you have to manipulate them thoroughly prior to starting them up.
 
Just make sure she can support you in the fashion to which you've become accustomed. Me ... I'm a trophy husband!
 
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