What I learned in church today....

[cgrab]

I read Exodus 40:36-37. It basically says the Israelites were VFR sojourners

 

[Half Fast]

IBTL.....

 

[Zeldman]

In Psalm 38, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "Pursue your enemies with your Tempest and glorify them with your Storm."

IBTL

 

[Ravioli]

Before the lock. I see the beginning of a preacher's show every Sunday because it is in the over-tape of a show I do watch.

He "likes to start with something funny" <- some may know who I mean from that

Today was:
A burglar breaks into a house. He keeps hearing “Jesus is watching you, Jesus is watching you”

He looks around and sees a parrot, that says again “Jesus is watching you”

He says, what is your name? Parrot says “My name is Moses, My name is Moses”

He says, who is Jesus? Parrot says, “Jesus is the Rottweiler, Jesus is the Rottwieler”

 

[Half Fast]

In Psalm 38, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "Pursue your enemies with your Tempest and glorify them with your Storm."

IBTL

The car make of choice for the early church seems to have been the Honda. Acts 2:1 says the disciples were all in one Accord.

 

[Zeldman]

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. They cite John 12:49-50 as proof, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Others say Untrue! Jesus drove a Ford. How do we know this?

Because he walked everywhere he went.

 

[Rushie]

IBTL

 

[murphey]

My favorite prayer at Christmas dinner:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace.
Notre Dame's in second place.

Then there was the bumper sticker on the truck that passed me...

Jesus Saves
Gretzky takes the handoff and scores!

 

[FormerHangie]

My favorite prayer at Christmas dinner:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace.
Notre Dame's in second place.

If someone asks me to say grace, they get this:
Rub a dub dub
Thanks for the grub
Yaaaaaay God!

On that last line, you should add some sort of cheerleader move, I recommend raising one arm and waving it in a circle.

 

[Hank S]

In Psalm 38, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "Pursue your enemies with your Tempest and glorify them with your Storm."

IBTL

Don't forget David's exhaust trouble--the sound of his Triumph was heard throughout the land!

 

[Checkout_my_Six]

Jesus....forgive them....for they have all sinned.

 

[GRG55]

Then there was the bumper sticker on the truck that passed me...

Jesus Saves
Gretzky takes the handoff and scores!

The original version of that was "Jesus Saves, Esposito scores on the rebound."
Yes, I know that dates me...

 

[Ghery]

If someone asks me to say grace, they get this:
Rub a dub dub
Thanks for the grub
Yaaaaaay God!

I learned that one in Boy Scouts. I think it was one of the Scoutmaster's sons. And they were members of our church. (and the Scoutmaster was later my major advisor in college )

 

[eman1200]

He who fart in church sit in own pew.

 

[luvflyin]

I read Exodus 40:36-37. It basically says the Israelites were VFR sojourners

Coulda been scud runners.

 

[Stingray Don]

He who fart in church sit in own pew.

Sounds like you speak from experience

 

[Ravioli]

Probably the best lesson ever: Do unto others, who you can outrun!

 

[Rushie]

If someone asks me to say grace, they get this:
Rub a dub dub
Thanks for the grub
Yaaaaaay God!

On that last line, you should add some sort of cheerleader move, I recommend raising one arm and waving it in a circle.

My past cleaning lady who speaks no English taught me grace in Spanish:

"Gracias Padre."

Short and sweet.

 

[asicer]

Coulda been scud runners.

Maybe, but apparently Moses got their briefing and filled a flight plan. I think they were also on flight following.

 

[Half Fast]

Maybe, but apparently Moses got their briefing and filled a flight plan. I think they were also on flight following.

Well, I seem to recall there were Egyptians following their flight, but apparently the Egyptians weren't amphibious....