Vietnam is still with us

[Dave Siciliano]

Since I seem to be posting to Dear Abby and Ms. Manners, I thought I'd share something else with y'all.

Most of you know I was in the Army and served in RVN. Try not to talk about it much, but it's still a part of me.

After years of putting this behind me and not talking or thinking much about it (it still stirred emotions I didn't want to deal with), I began posting on some RVN boards and making contact with some former comrades. One such board is the Virtual Wall which lists those killed and someone posts a commemoration to them. I found several folks I served with that had nothing posted by their name; so, I posted something appropriate. As a result, several folks that knew these former colleagues have contacted me over the years. For many, it was the first time they communicated with someone that was actually there when their relative or loved one died. They had a lot of questions; some still thought it might have been a mistake and their loved one could return.

Well, today, a lady contacted me who is the daughter of one of my best friends--he died in 1969. She was seven at the time. She never really knew here dad. Never could reach anyone that knew him. Wasn't sure what actually happened to him. In one of war's ironies, Ken (her dad) was taking some of the men from his infantry company on rest and recuperation (R&R) for a few days to what was a safe area-resort. They got into a helicopter and were flying to that area when the bird came apart in the air and all were lost. So, after being in the jungle, in the war zone and fighting Charlie for months without being hurt, it was an accident that killed him and around 20 brave soles from his company with him.

So, I'm trying to tell this young lady what her dad was like via e-mail. Being the male of the species, my written communications skills aren't what they need to be for this, but I'm trying. For some, there are still open issues regarding this historical conflict. For some, they are still trying to understand what happened to their loved one, asking why, and trying to find closure. I'm grossly inadequate at dealing with the emotional side of this, but I keep trying.

Best,

Dave

 

[wsuffa]

Dave,

What can I say... except good for you. It has to be emotional, even after all this time. There are a lot of open wounds out there. Even more so because a lot of Americans never understood what we were doing there.

best,

bill

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Bill:

I don't know that I understand what we were doing there either. Far away place where we left a lot of brave soles. As a patriotic young man, I didn't feel it was my place to question. Even if I did, I wouldn't have known what to ask.

Thank the lord for our brave young (and not so young) military folks today that serve without question or with doubts, but still serve. It was my duty as a young man to serve just as it's my duty today to do all I can to have our leaders keep those military folks out of harm's way unless it's absolutely necessary.

Thanks, Bill. It's really difficult to know what to say to these folks sometime.

Dave

 

[Alan]

Dave,

I've told you before that my lottery # was 3; then the draft was stopped. I always wondered how I would have acted? Would I have done my duty? Would I have made a difference? Now, it doesn't matter. I didn't go and that is that... You did and you made a difference. It is important to this young lady that you do your best in telling her about her dad, not that you be perfect. Tell her what you know. Tell her what you recall. If he was one of your best friends, then he was a good guy. She wants to know that. You are still making a difference.

And then know you have once again done more than your part (kinda like picking up the tab after dinner ).

 

[John J]

Dave;

A wonderful note. I really appreaciate it.

I am a VN vet who was on the ground. My best friend who was a VN vet who could not get his head out of the war, lived with me for 11 months.I tried to fix him with the VA and all the so called help at the time. I was flying nights in a BE 18 as a copilot and he stayed in my apartment. I would sweat ever time I came home in the early dawn to make sure he was still here. I quit my flying job to make sure I was there for him at night. He was so down and it was so hard to keep him safe. The VA was awful at the time. For years I had so much guilt for I was not there for him when he killed himself. I rememember so well when his mother just let go and I had no ideal what to do. I was not ready to deal with all the emotions. For a long time I never had contact with her or his dad. About 8 years ago they found me and it has been quite a time catching up. The Best part is that all 3 of us now have a great relationship. We are still dealing with a war that is 40 years old. By bits and peaces I guess this is part of the healing process

I am so glad for your post It says and means so much.




John J

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Dave,

I've told you before that my lottery # was 3; then the draft was stopped. I always wondered how I would have acted? Would I have done my duty? Would I have made a difference? Now, it doesn't matter. I didn't go and that is that... You did and you made a difference. It is important to this young lady that you do your best in telling her about her dad, not that you be perfect. Tell her what you know. Tell her what you recall. If he was one of your best friends, then he was a good guy. She wants to know that. You are still making a difference.

And then know you have once again done more than your part (kinda like picking up the tab after dinner ).

====================

Thanks for the kind words Alan.

Little doubt in my mind you would have done well. You seem to do that to anything to which you set your mind.

Dave

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Dave;

A wonderful note. I really appreaciate it.

I am a VN vet who was on the ground. My best friend who was a VN vet who could not get his head out of the war, lived with me for 11 months.I tried to fix him with the VA and all the so called help at the time. I was flying nights in a BE 18 as a copilot and he stayed in my apartment. I would sweat ever time I came home in the early dawn to make sure he was still here. I quit my flying job to make sure I was there for him at night. He was so down and it was so hard to keep him safe. The VA was awful at the time. For years I had so much guilt for I was not there for him when he killed himself. I rememember so well when his mother just let go and I had no ideal what to do. I was not ready to deal with all the emotions. For a long time I never had contact with her or his dad. About 8 years ago they found me and it has been quite a time catching up. The Best part is that all 3 of us now have a great relationship. We are still dealing with a war that is 40 years old. By bits and peaces I guess this is part of the healing process

I am so glad for your post It says and means so much.




John J

John:

I remember you discussing being a vet and some background; didn't remember this. Amazing how we can feel guilty for not helping others enough, ain't it? Spend a lot of time feeling guilty for coming back alive, then for not being hurt worse than one was, for not performing better under fire than one did--impossibel standards for human beings.

Glad you're dealing with it well John. At some point we have to go on or life passes us by.

At the Special Ops reunion the end of this month, there are folks I will thoroughly enjoy seeing; and, there will be those that just haven't achieved anything else in life and can't leave this behind.

Wish you the best with this relationship.

Best,

Dave

 

[John J]

Dave;

You say it so well. I wish you the best at the reunion. I will be there in spirit for you. I go each day. "left foot right foot-----"

Gosh I hope we can meet at this place everyone talks about Gastons I have never been nor heard of it.

I cannot thank you enough for your kind words.

John

 

[gkainz]

Good on 'ya, Dave, and best wishes for the trail you've chosen to head down. There may be some tough spots to navigate, but take it carefully and it's all gonna be good. Don't feel like you have to give this young lady everything all at once - I'm pretty sure as the communications progress that it will naturally go where it needs to go.
Best wishes for fair winds and following seas for you.
Greg

 

[AdamZ]

Dave, Good on you! and Thanks!!

 

[Mike Schneider]

Dave, there are a lot of folks (more than you will ever know) that are proud of you and those that served with you. And I am one of those folks. Thank you, thank you, thank you. -- Mike

 

[sere]

Since I seem to be posting to Dear Abby and Ms. Manners, I thought I'd share something else with y'all.

Most of you know I was in the Army and served in RVN. Try not to talk about it much, but it's still a part of me.

After years of putting this behind me and not talking or thinking much about it (it still stirred emotions I didn't want to deal with), I began posting on some RVN boards and making contact with some former comrades. One such board is the Virtual Wall which lists those killed and someone posts a commemoration to them. I found several folks I served with that had nothing posted by their name; so, I posted something appropriate. As a result, several folks that knew these former colleagues have contacted me over the years. For many, it was the first time they communicated with someone that was actually there when their relative or loved one died. They had a lot of questions; some still thought it might have been a mistake and their loved one could return.

Well, today, a lady contacted me who is the daughter of one of my best friends--he died in 1969. She was seven at the time. She never really knew here dad. Never could reach anyone that knew him. Wasn't sure what actually happened to him. In one of war's ironies, Ken (her dad) was taking some of the men from his infantry company on rest and recuperation (R&R) for a few days to what was a safe area-resort. They got into a helicopter and were flying to that area when the bird came apart in the air and all were lost. So, after being in the jungle, in the war zone and fighting Charlie for months without being hurt, it was an accident that killed him and around 20 brave soles from his company with him.

So, I'm trying to tell this young lady what her dad was like via e-mail. Being the male of the species, my written communications skills aren't what they need to be for this, but I'm trying. For some, there are still open issues regarding this historical conflict. For some, they are still trying to understand what happened to their loved one, asking why, and trying to find closure. I'm grossly inadequate at dealing with the emotional side of this, but I keep trying.

Best,

Dave

Yes Dave it is very hard to express how you feel in e-mails or letters. I have found it better to talk on the phone if not able to set face to face with family members who wanted to know what happened to there loved ones. Good luck and I feel for you.

Larry

 

[Dave Siciliano]

I received this return e-mail from a friend of Ken's daughter that first got us in contact.


"Dave,
What a great day for Joan and her brothers! I'm honored to have been a part of it."

Sounds like the initial communication went well. She hasn't responded to my initial my e-mail yet except for a short note that she was really touched and would write later.

Really heartwarming!!

Dave

 

[Lawreston]

It's amazing what one VN veteran will do to say, Thanks, to a buddy. A good friend of the family is buried in Thomaston, ME, next to the grave of Major Sayward Hall, whose family was also well-known to us. The widow of the friend is now my aunt, via her 2nd marriage. She was visiting the grave of her 1st husband and noted a large spray of flowers on Major Hall's monument. Observing it, she read the card: Thanks, Major; it was a pleasure serving under you. No signature, but the flower shop was prominent in the area. So, Ginny went to the florist and asked who had the large spray sent to Major Hall's monument in Thomaston. The response was that a man had come to the shop, knew what he wanted, and to whom and where it was to be delivered.
"What was his name? If he paid by check we could tell the Major's elderly parents of the kind gesture?"
"No; he paid in cash, said Thank you, and left the shop." We know of no other soldier from Maine who was in Sayward's company; so, the party had to be from far away.

Were any of you familiar with Camp Holloway? It was the night-time attack on Holloway which blew Pres. Johnson's cork, and after which time the escalation was ordered.
http://www.geocities.com/Pentagon/Quarters/1534/sayward.hall.html
or http://www.flyarmy.org/K10819.HTM
Thanks, Sayward. You're the finest helicopter pilot I ever knew, and we won't forget.

HR (or, to you, Major, just Lawreston)

 

[John J]

It's amazing what one VN veteran will do to say, Thanks, to a buddy. A good friend of the family is buried in Thomaston, ME, next to the grave of Major Sayward Hall, whose family was also well-known to us. The widow of the friend is now my aunt, via her 2nd marriage. She was was visiting the grave of her 1st husband and noted a large spray of flowers on Major Hall's monument. Observing it, she read the card: Thanks, Major; it was a pleasure serving under you. No signature, but the flower shop was prominent in the area. So, Ginny went to the florist and asked who had the large spray sent to Major Hall's monument in Thomaston. The response was that a man had come to the shop, knew what he wanted, and to whom and where it was to be delivered.
"What was his name? If he paid by check we could tell the Major's elderly parents of the kind gesture?"
"No; he paid in cash, said Thank you, and left the shop." We know of no other soldier from Maine who was in Sayward's company; so, the party had to be from far away.

Were any of you familiar with Camp Holloway? It was the night-time attack on Holloway which blew Pres. Johnson's cork, and after which time the escalation was ordered.
http://www.geocities.com/Pentagon/Quarters/1534/sayward.hall.html
or http://www.flyarmy.org/K10819.HTM
Thanks, Sayward. You're the finest helicopter pilot I ever knew, and we won't forget.

HR (or, to you, Major, just Lawreston)

Harley;

Thanks for the post. I do remember in a foggy way as 40 years ago is so full of fluid memories. I did here about it. I was in training when it happened.

Thanks for sharing

John

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Just in the way of an update; this young lady has caused me to do some digging and I have found a couple old comrades from the First Cav Division. Chatted on the phone with one this evening. We're going to try to link up soon.

He's going to contact the young lady trying to learn about here dad. I think we're beginning to really get the door open to the past. It's bringing back a lot of memories.

Best,

Dave

 

[John J]

Just in the way of an update; this young lady has caused me to do some digging and I have found a couple old comrades from the First Cav Division. Chatted on the phone with one this evening. We're going to try to link up soon.

He's going to contact the young lady trying to learn about here dad. I think we're beginning to really get the door open to the past. It's bringing back a lot of memories.

Best,

Dave

Dave;

My thoughts and heart go out to you.

John

 

[Dakota Duce]

Dave..

"Welcome home, Brother.. Welcome home."

(From one who was there.)

Dakota Duce

"May All Your Flights Be Of Good Weather!"

 

[kevin47881]

An open response to Mr. Dave and the all the others brave souls who have served us:
As one who could not join the military due to medical problems, I cannot share your experiences. However, I have the utmost respect and admiration for all of you who have kept us safe for over 225 years. My thanks and prayers are with all of you every night.
God bless.

 

[Sayward]

My name is Sayward Hall IV, MAJ. Hall's grandson. I never met my grandfather but through stories and conversations I've gotten an idea of the type of man he was. Sites such as this give me a further insight and I'd just like to say I appreciate it.

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Welcome aboard Sayward!!

As a follow up, I've located several folks that were with the 1st Cav (Co. D, 2/8th) that were there when Joan's dad was taken. He was on a schnook that came apart in the air. An entire infantry platoon was lost in that incident.

Joan is starting to get some responses as to what her dad was like. She seems just a bit overwhelmed right now. Think she tried for a long time and didn't get anywhere. Now, some doors to the past are beginning to open for her.

I've attached a pic of the wonderful living quarters provided to me courtesy of Uncle Sam. Couple of the battalion officers in front of a Cav sign--don't know how to delete the expletive. And yours truly as a young pup.

Best,

Dave

 

[kellyo]

I come a family with alot of U.S. military service. My father did 2 1/2 tours in Vietnam 69-72. I have a few pictures we salvaged from a fire that destroyed everything we owned. One is a picture of my dad in Vietnam and another of his unit patches and medals earned. I don't know how to embed them into the thread, do I need a host to embed them like Dave just did?

 

[Ghery]

I don't know how to embed them into the thread, do I need a host to embed them like Dave just did?

Nope. Just scroll down a touch to "Manage Attachments". Click on that and you'll get a second window to upload up to 4 pictures.

 

[kellyo]

Thank you. Here it goes.

One came through the other is too big...i'll try and crop it and repost. Like I said, my father had over 100+ pictures from Vietnam. I remember a few of them. Only 2 left after the fire. Anyway here's his medal pic.

 

[Diana]

Like I said, my father had over 100+ pictures from Vietnam. I remember a few of them. Only 2 left after the fire. Anyway here's his medal pic.

Wow, I don't know what any of those medals mean, but it's impressive. Thanks for sharing that.

 

[kellyo]

Wow, I don't know what any of those medals mean, but it's impressive. Thanks for sharing that.

The fire also destroyed his medals, or as my 3 year old nieces says, "metals".
The ones in the picture he acquired as presents. The purple heart came from a WWII vet that bequifed (ugh spelling) it to my dad, they were VFW buddies.

Alot of the purple hearts issued in Vietnam were actually made during WWII, in anticipation of a ground attack on mainland Japan. They were expecting something like 500,000 casualties. But because of the A-bomb many of the medals went into storage to be used during Korea and Vietnam.

The unit patches were all the units my dad served in during his tours. There are a few units he served that aren't pictured, prolly S.F.

 

[Richard]

Thank you. Here it goes.

One came through the other is too big...i'll try and crop it and repost. Like I said, my father had over 100+ pictures from Vietnam. I remember a few of them. Only 2 left after the fire. Anyway here's his medal pic.

You still have his service ribbons? Lost ribbons or medals are replaceable through, I think, the respective branch of the military. I don't have the link, I'm sure someone here does. Remaining pictures are best archived on CD with copies sent to family members. Also, paper copies as good as the orginal pictures can be had by color copiers at Kinkos. The orginals are archived.

 

[kellyo]

You still have his service ribbons? Lost ribbons or medals are replaceable through, I think, the respective branch of the military. I don't have the link, I'm sure someone here does. Remaining pictures are best archived on CD with copies sent to family members. Also, paper copies as good as the orginal pictures can be had by color copiers at Kinkos. The orginals are archived.

The fire occured in 1982. Long before PCs in the home were considered normal. My dad is a network guy, so all pics and vids we have now and archived and disc have been distributed to most our family. Great suggestion.

 

[Dave Siciliano]

I can give you a few off the top of my head:

Medals Bronze Star on the bottom left
Purple Heart
Army Commendation medal
Vietnamese Service Medal is yellow and red
Good conduct medal on right.

Patches.

Top left:
I'm gonna mix this up with number four--perhaps someone could correct me
One is 173 Regimental Combat Team; the other I'm not sure.
Two is MACV
25th Infantry Division next.
Then the one I'd mix up with one
1st Cav on the top right (yellow and back with horses head)
101st Airborne Div.
4th Div
Special Forces is the arrow head with lightning flashes.

Your dad has a lot to be proud of.

The 101st has a proud history; jumped three times in WWII; held fast at Bastone during the battle of the bulge.
The 1st Cav traces its history back to Custer and horse cavalry.
One can look up some of these unit histories.

Best,

Dave

 

[Carol]

.....

I've attached a pic of the wonderful living quarters provided to me courtesy of Uncle Sam. Couple of the battalion officers in front of a Cav sign--don't know how to delete the expletive. And yours truly as a young pup.

Best,

Dave

I'm late to this thread. I just want to add my thanks to you and all who served and serve. I'm not so sure I could do it much less relive parts of it.

As an aside, I can remember wearing my hair like the girl in the picture on the left on your "nightstand."

 

[John J]

Dave;

Thanks for sharing your pictures. The living quarters bring back memories. Some times it was just a hole in the ground.

Thank you again

John

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Dave;

Thanks for sharing your pictures. The living quarters bring back memories. Some times it was just a hole in the ground.

Thank you again

John

Yes John! These were my upgrades quarters in the rear area. Began in a 1/2 culvert on sandbags; ended in airconditioned quarters of an aviation unit as we pulled troops out or RVN. Each time a unit left, we'd scounge what we could and upgrade our quarters and clubs. Then Arvin or locals would come in and carry off the rest--tin from roofs, wood, tile, etc. In the Cav, I started in the quarters shown and wound up in the CGs quarters after he left--pool and all. Interesting time!!

We don't need to talk about the first tour; just a matter of how hard the ground was or whether I used a hammock (if there were trees) when out of camp.

Best,

Dave

 

[sere]

Wow, I don't know what any of those medals mean, but it's impressive. Thanks for sharing that.

What they are is as follows left to right:

Bronze Star Medal

Purple Heart Medal

Army Commendation Medal

Republic of Viet Nam Service Medal

Republic of Viet Nam Gallantry Medal

National Defense Medal