There should be a federal law...

[EdFred]

...requiring all phone systems at companies to let you speak with a living breathing person during that copmany's business hours, even if it menas being on hold. I've just spent 90 minutes trying to get hold of a customer by calling 3 "main" numbers for them, and I get the following responses:

Number #1: We are not accepting phone calls for inquiries anymore, please e-mail...yeah, I don't have his e-mail.

Number #2: If you know your party's extension please press 1. If you wish to dial by last name press 2. I press two. Please dial the person's last name. Three characters in, it interrupts me, says please listen, and gives me a message that someone who I am not trying to reach and whose name does not match the corresponding numbers is no longer at this facility and then sends me back to the press 1, press 2 option.

Number #3. Similar to #2, without the interruption. But dialing by first name - there is no person found. Dialing by last name there is no person found. But I did get this:
"If you wish to speak to an operator, press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."
Press 0.
"You have reached the general mailbox, if you wish to speak to an operator press 0."

Violent pounding of the pounding of various combinations of the 0, pound and star key did not help either. Trying to pick random extension numbers to get to ANY breathing person resulted in "that is not a valid extension."

Whoever designs these systems with no way out should be dragged naked across the entire length of the country behind a 12HP lawnmower via freshly chlorided gravel roads. Whoever purchase these systems should receive the same treatment, but with the rope tied around their neck instead of their feet like the designer.

 

[Clark1961]

I suggest the decaf for the rest of the day...

 

[EdFred]

I suggest the decaf for the rest of the day...

I don't even drink coffee during the week!

 

[ScottM]

...requiring all phone systems at companies to let you speak with a living breathing person during that copmany's business hours, even if it menas being on hold. I've just spent 90 minutes trying to get hold of a customer by calling 3 "main" numbers for them, and I get the following responses:

I think it should be left to each business to decide how best to implement their customer support systems. Those that treat customers badly will go out of business and those that do actually support their customers will do well. There is no need to implement a government solution

 

[EdFred]

I think it should be left to each business to decide how best to implement their customer support systems. Those that treat customers badly will go out of business and those that do actually support their customers will do well. There is no need to implement a government solution

Except this is one of my customers. And if I can't get hold of him, I shut their lines down and incur line shutdown charges. I can't get hold of ANYbody!

 

[ScottM]

Except this is one of my customers. And if I can't get hold of him, I shut their lines down and incur line shutdown charges. I can't get hold of ANYbody!

You used their system and did you best, maybe even going beyond the call of duty. if they cannot be located is that really your fault?

 

[EdFred]

You used their system and did you best, maybe even going beyond the call of duty. if they cannot be located is that really your fault?

Ha, good luck with that one in court.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Ha, good luck with that one in court.

I hear you...but still, document the actions you take to get back in contact with them.

 

[jesse]

You have an airplane. Fly out there, knock on their door.

 

[Clark1961]

I don't even drink coffee during the week!

Maybe it's time for meditation?

 

[bigred177]

Every time I get recordings asking me to do 50 things before I get a person I can't understand I just start pushing 0 until it says "let me transfer you to someone who can help"

 

[brcase]

I think it should be left to each business to decide how best to implement their customer support systems. Those that treat customers badly will go out of business and those that do actually support their customers will do well. There is no need to implement a government solution

Now they call that industry standards, and the goal is not to treat customers well, but to not treat them as badly as the other guy.

Just pressing zero until you get a live person, gets you to a low paid indian (The india kind) that is paid by how many calls he answers. And all he does is transfer you to someone, anyone. He doesn't care if it the right one.

 

[SkyHog]

Every time I get recordings asking me to do 50 things before I get a person I can't understand I just start pushing 0 until it says "let me transfer you to someone who can help"

*shudders*

Don't do that. Or if you do, please stop pressing buttons before the rep answers. When I worked at Comcast, if you were still pressing buttons when I answered, you'd be calling back again wondering why your call dropped.

 

[shywon]

*shudders*

Don't do that. Or if you do, please stop pressing buttons before the rep answers. When I worked at Comcast, if you were still pressing buttons when I answered, you'd be calling back again wondering why your call dropped.

That was You?

 

[bigred177]

*shudders*

Don't do that. Or if you do, please stop pressing buttons before the rep answers. When I worked at Comcast, if you were still pressing buttons when I answered, you'd be calling back again wondering why your call dropped.

Well, there would be a bit of a delay. Push 0, see what it says, push 0, see what it says, I was done puching buttons when someone came on.

I would rather push buttons than those dang "tell me what you're looking for" voice recognition things.

 

[SkyHog]

Well, there would be a bit of a delay. Push 0, see what it says, push 0, see what it says, I was done puching buttons when someone came on.

I would rather push buttons than those dang "tell me what you're looking for" voice recognition things.

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.

And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.

Everyone loses when you skip the IVR.

 

[Geico266]

What bugs me about those automated systems is entering all of your data, account numbers, date of birth, etc. Then they when you finally get to a real person they have to ask for all that info all over again.

 

[bigred177]

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.

And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.

Everyone loses when you skip the IVR.

I see your point. And those two lines should be two different thoughts. I left a word out on it. It should read "I would rather push buttons than those dang "tell me what you're looking for" voice recognition things though."

So I would be more willing to push buttons for what the machine wants me to do instead of it asking me, me telling it, it repeating what I said, and me telling it yes.

 

[bigred177]

It does seem like, though, the live person does always ask you the same thing the compuer asked when you get to them.

 

[Let'sgoflying!]

Maybe it's time for meditation?

medication is what I use. Faster, more long-lasting results!


What are the possible situations?

I want to buy something. Oh well, I will buy it elsewhere or go without.
I want to get info. Oh well, there is probably another source.
I want to give them something or do something for them. Oh well, they don't deserve it if I can't even get aholt of them.
They owe me (money/service/product). Oh well, they probably weren't going to come up with it anyway.
I want to fill their ear. Oh well, they weren't going to listen anyway!

 

[Clark1961]

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.

And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.

Everyone loses when you skip the IVR.

Okay, fine, would ya mind 'splainin' ta me 'zactly why everyone shouldn't lose when I'm destined to lose by the dang system design an' specification?

Had to call the state department of revenue today over a tax bill error on their part. Guess what? They didn't have a "If we screwed up a tax bill press 999 for help now" option. After going down a couple likely sounding branches I gave in and pressed "0" until a real live voice came on. Next time I'm just going for the real live voice.

If it is logical to the average caller and is relatively simple to navigate, fine. If it is in a local dialect (accountants really do speak in tongues, sorta like engineers I suppose) and has 50 option long branches, fergit it!

Oh yeah, the tax bill error was solved within a few minutes of actually talking to a live person. Who'da thunk?! Of course I have to wait to see if the promised letter noting the error on their part really does arrive by Friday. I'ma not holdin' my breath.

 

[fgcason]

Just wait until you go through just a few simple push buttons that can't take you anywhere other than where you're going, wait half an hour on hold then finally get a human. THEN they say you need to talk to someone else at xxx-xxx-xxxx and that person will solve your problem in minutes guaranteed no problems. The only problem being, the number the human gave you is the same exact phone number you called to get hold of the person you're talking to. Then after they say no it's not, just do it and all will be peachy, you hang up, dial the number and guess who answers the phone..again...

Nowadays when I dial and a human answers, I'm completely caught completely off guard.
I have an excel sheet with phone numbers on it. One place I order motorcycle gear from is listed as companyname, phone number, and under notes it says "don't forget why you are calling because a HUMAN will answer the phone on the very first ring...or sooner."

 

[SCCutler]

Be careful what you wish for, Ed!

---

We have a reasonably capable call-handling system, but my policy is that the machine is not allowed to answer the phone during business hours. A few slip throughm but few indeed. Also, no dropping someone into voice mail without first asking themif they *want* to leave a VM, and even then, I insist upon getting essential message information- name, phone, what they're calling about.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Ed, do you not have a fax number for the place? Fax them a brief letter - "Call me!"

 

[wsuffa]

I think it should be left to each business to decide how best to implement their customer support systems. Those that treat customers badly will go out of business and those that do actually support their customers will do well. There is no need to implement a government solution

Is it "Talk like a Conservative" week?

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.

And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.

Everyone loses when you skip the IVR.

Depends.

You ever try an evil airline IVR standing in a noisy airport trying to rebook or protect one's self on another flight after yours canceled? I have. It's not pretty. It costs me a LOT of time, and it costs multiple callbacks.

You gotta at least give me the OPTION of speaking to a real human.

 

[ScottM]

Is it "Talk like a Conservative" week?

I thought Ed was already doing that since he was asking government to solve his business problem. He was sounding like a automobile or finance company CEO.

 

[wsuffa]

I thought Ed was already doing that since he was asking government to solve his business problem. He was sounding like a automobile or finance company CEO.

Ah, maybe one of Daley's friends?

 

[PilotAlan]

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.
And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.
Everyone loses when you skip the IVR.

No, take the gazillion dollars you paid for the IVR and have HUMANS answer the phone.

IF you're going to have an IVR, make SURE that one option is to get a human.
What happens when I call the IVR and my question does not apply to the option you present? What if I don't know what option you want me to press?
And for the love of God, make sure that info I enter actually gets to the rep.
I left my bank because I couldn't get a human on the phone, and when I finally did they always asked for all information I had to enter just to be able to get past the entry prompts!

And one more thing, don't set it up to where if I MUST enter information just to be able to get to someone. One company called me at work and left an urgent message. I didn't have my account information, and couldn't even get past the entry prompts without it. I moved my business elsewhere.

 

[fgcason]

The problem is that it still takes the same amount of time, except now you've got a representative asking you the same questions the IVR was asking to determine what department you need to go to.

IMNSHO, if a business has so many departments that it takes a game of 50 push the button submenus to get to someone, then get hung up on or put on hold until a week after the sun burns out, then find out you're talking to the wrong person because the right person isn't an option, they're too big for their own britches. And that goes double for after getting through all the stuff IF you get hold of a human (doubtful) that the human asks for the exact information you've fed into the computer voice. As a side note, the disembodied computer voice and waiting makes you feel like you're just a useless nothing idiot peasant they don't want to or have to deal with. It's the computerized equivalent of a street bum peeing on your head.

And it costs the company money, because that rep could be helping someone else with an issue he's paid to do. Costing the company money in turn costs you money.

The one place that answers on the first ring with an actual real live breathing human is often the cheapest source for stuff I need and that includes shipping costs. They're usually between 10% and 30% less than the next guy for the same exact item...except they can always get variations of items that are completely unavailable from their competition. For the items they are more expensive or break even, I still call them for what I need simply because they are human and treat me as such. I'd pay them 10% more just to get that kind of treatment.
It's to the point that I will go snoop through someone elses stock locally for the right fit or whatever then go outside in their parking lot and flip my cellphone open and call halfway across the country then wait for 2-3 days for delivery on something I need immediately.
They have quite a following of customers for the same reasons I do business with them. They're making an absolute killing simply because they treat their customers like people.

 

[SkyHog]

BTW, if you want a surefire way to skip the voice recognition prompts, lean in close, I have a secret for you:

Scream obscenities into the phone. Be sure to include the f word a few times.

I first noticed this in Jesse's apartment in Minnesota. I was trying to get ahold of Northwest airlines, and I got stuck in their web of questions.

"GIVE ME A ****ING REPRESENTATIVE, NOW!"

"Transferring your call to a representative."

And since then, I've noticed it happens with a lot of companies. Give it shot.