Stoopid pilot tricks

[Richard]

I knew a CFI who had just been hired in his first 'real' flying gig. He hops in the company A-36 to make his very first flight for the company. He starts ok but doesn't go anywhere. So he just adds full power. Plane moves forward one inch and stops. He goes to idle and the plane rolls back one inch. He did this several more times with the same results. Now he has a crowd watching.

He shuts down and walks inside to 'use' the restroom. After a minute or two he comes back out, casually kicks the nose chock away and taxis out. But his gig was up because I had followed him into the restroom and all he did was comb his hair and wait an appropriate amount of time before heading out to the ramp.

He was such an arrogant prick everyone was laughing when I said he simply ducked into the restroom as a ruse.

Everyone makes mistakes, it's how one deals with them which is the measure of a man.

 

[Michael]

I had ATC once call me and say "you might get farther if you untie the tail".
So i shut down and jumped out, untied. a little embarrased. How does one miss something like that? Its part of the preflight. But it does happen.

 

[Skip Miller]

Re: Stoopid ATC tricks

I had ATC once call me and say "you might get farther if you untie the tail".
So i shut down and jumped out, untied. a little embarrased. How does one miss something like that? Its part of the preflight. But it does happen.

I, of course, have *never* (cough, cough) done that.

I did call up ground while taxiing out one bright, CAVU Saturday morning and asked if the rotating beacon was on for a reason. There was a moment's hesitation and then "It's not on!"

My mistake, I replied

I don't know if they were just kidding around (the tower guys were really great at that time) or if they did not want a minor goof on the tapes.

-Skip

 

[fgcason]

I watched a guy do that once. He pushed the throttle forward and the plane lurched to the right. Repeat, same results. He shut down, got out, pulled the chock from the right wheel. As he got back on the wing, he noticed he had an audience. He faced the crowd, bowed, got in and taxied away.

Everyone makes mistakes, it's how one deals with them which is the measure of a man.

Exactly. And there's no point in losing sleep over something as trivial as a chock.

 

[Ken Ibold]

I was getting a ride home from a place where I was dropping off my airplane for some work once and an acquaintance agreed to fly over and give me a ride home. He fired it up and then decided to taxi to the runway directly through the ramp area, over unused tiedown ropes, etc. Eventually one wheel got stuck on someone's chock (at their empty tiedown) and he just tried to power over it. There was another guy in the right seat who was also a pilot and he reached over and pulled the mixture (without mentioning it to the PIC) and then got out and removed the chock. The left seater fired it up again ... AND CONTINUED TAXIING THROUGH THE TIEDOWNS. He got stuck again and the scenario repeated.

I wanted to walk home.

 

[ScottM]

There was a Bonanza doing a run up on the ramp one day as I was walking back from my plane, I noticed the PAX's seatbelt was hanging out the door. He started off to the runway before I could signal that anything was wrong. I noticed on take off that it was still outside and banging on the fuselage, so I called him on the CTAF and asked if they were hearing a loud clanging because the seatbelt was hanging out the door. He said he did and would return for landing. Lesson, alway make sure you PAX has their seatbelt on.

 

[mikea]

I had ATC once call me and say "you might get farther if you untie the tail".
So i shut down and jumped out, untied. a little embarrased. How does one miss something like that? Its part of the preflight. But it does happen.

Howbout when you're at the departure line and watch the neighbor in his Dakota land with the tail tiedown rope still attached?

I called him on the CTAF with a "Be advised..." but he didn't answer me.

 

[ScottM]

I called him on the CTAF with a "Be advised..." but he didn't answer me.

Did you stop by and also let him know about his possible radio failure???

 

[Dave Krall CFII]

There was a Bonanza doing a run up on the ramp one day as I was walking back from my plane, I noticed the PAX's seatbelt was hanging out the door. He started off to the runway before I could signal that anything was wrong. I noticed on take off that it was still outside and banging on the fuselage, so I called him on the CTAF and asked if they were hearing a loud clanging because the seatbelt was hanging out the door. He said he did and would return for landing. Lesson, alway make sure you PAX has their seatbelt on.

One of our club's C150s got a lot of pilots because it had a belt with metal trim on the end that would hang out and chatter on the airframe even with the belt buckeled, if not checked and pulled in when closing the door. It wasn't real long but just enough to hang out the doorjamb, so finally tucked it back in on itself under the belt keeper because guys just would miss it a lot and it looked bad flying along flapping if they didn't hear it and correct it.

 

[Michael]

Re: Stoopid ATC tricks

I, of course, have *never* (cough, cough) done that.

I did call up ground while taxiing out one bright, CAVU Saturday morning and asked if the rotating beacon was on for a reason. There was a moment's hesitation and then "It's not on!"

My mistake, I replied

I don't know if they were just kidding around (the tower guys were really great at that time) or if they did not want a minor goof on the tapes.

-Skip

that reminds me of the story about a controller who calls up a cessna on the ramp "be advised, your beacon isnt working. wait..yes it is..no its not, yes it is...."

 

[ejensen]

I watched a guy do that once. He pushed the throttle forward and the plane lurched to the right. Repeat, same results. He shut down, got out, pulled the chock from the right wheel. As he got back on the wing, he noticed he had an audience. He faced the crowd, bowed, got in and taxied away.



Exactly. And there's no point in losing sleep over something as trivial as a chock.

If that was at GJT about 3 years ago that was me. No wait, it was the nose wheel chocked. But I bowed all the same.

 

[fgcason]

If that was at GJT about 3 years ago that was me. No wait, it was the nose wheel chocked. But I bowed all the same.

It was mid 1980's at either Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. We landed at a lot of airports that day but I remember it was one of those two. IIRC it was a Cherokee 140.

I filed that behavior under 'how to save face with style' instead of unceremoniously putting on the dunce hat.

I haven't used it in the plane yet however I have used it a couple times on long rides when taking a header off the motorcycle at the gas pumps.

 

[gmwalk]

I was a student pilot at Rapid City back around 1977. I came out to do my preflight and parked next to my 152 was some type two seat, propeller, Navy training plane. I watched as the two Navy guys just jumped into the plane, started it, and then tried to taxi away. They didn't do a preflight (at least I don't remember them doing one) and the wheel chocks were still in. They proceeded to firewall it. The plane jumped the chocks and went shooting across the tarmac and almost into the grass.

After seing that, first thing I do when I approach a plane is check for chocks and tie downs.

 

[Richard]

The very last thing I do before buckling in is crouch down low and look at the bottom of the plane and the tires.

After shutting the door and buckling in the very first thing I do is unbuckle to get the keys out of my pocket.

 

[tom clark]

we were pulling out of a parking spot over at lake wales fla, after spending a day exploring the town. as we pulled out, the plane pulled a bit to the left and i thought maybe we'd hit a little pot hole. i think we even stopped and hopped out and took a look and noticed nothing unusual. when we got home we found there was 2ft of rope hanging from the left wing tiedown ring! pretty lousy rope if ya ask me! tc

 

[One Short]

We had a fellow in a 172 to 3 touch and goes before someone could get to a radio to let him know the tow bar was still attached to the nose wheel!

 

[deafsound]

After shutting the door and buckling in the very first thing I do is unbuckle to get the keys out of my pocket.

Ha. That sounds famaliar. We must have the same checklist.

 

[gismo]

After shutting the door and buckling in the very first thing I do is unbuckle to get the keys out of my pocket.

Geez, that's one of my favorite tricks. I've even tried to get in the habit of putting the keys in a pocket I can access with the belts on (but I forget to do that as well). The worst instances were in the biplane I used to have where you not only had to unbuckle (5pt harness), but you pretty much had to hoist yourself out of the cockpit as well to get at a pocket in your jeans.

 

[Dave Siciliano]

Yep, same problem. The way I solved it was to get a P-baron. Once inside, no key required. (Still do it in the A-36 though).

Dave

 

[fgcason]

pretty lousy rope if ya ask me! tc

That's why I carry my own rope and screws. Nylon rope that's been out in the sun for 10 years has all the structural integrity of wet noodles.
When I was a ramp rat, we use to go out and pull the ropes to see what would happen. Sometimes when the ropes held we ended up on our butts anyway because the rusted rings snapped off..and more times than not, we weren't pulling that hard either.

-----
Frank park-and-tie-it-down-myself-in-the-grass Cason

 

[Richard]

Yep, same problem. The way I solved it was to get a P-baron. Once inside, no key required. (Still do it in the A-36 though).

Dave

Or just fly nekkid.

 

[gkainz]

Hey there gmwalk - welcome to the forums. While you were in Rapid City in '77, I had departed Custer the year prior to "sail the seven seas in Uncle Sam's Canoe club" ... what were you doing in Rapid? Are you still there?

 

[SkyHog]

My stoopid pilot trick:

One day, somehow, I forgot to retract the last notch of flaps on my Cherokee. When I got back to the hangar, I was getting out of the plane when I saw a fairly attractive young lady a few hangars down. I was snatching a look when I stepped on the flap.

Whoosh! The flap goes all the way down (not being locked in place) and I fall straight down, with my other leg still on the plane.

Split pants, feeling like a split crotch, and a split ego when she comes over to help me up. Yay me.

 

[infotango]

Split pants, feeling like a split crotch, and a split ego when she comes over to help me up. Yay me.

At least you got her attention....

 

[Len Lanetti]

I can think of at least two goofs I've made that were the result of forgetting to do something, fixing that forgotten thing, then feeling rushed and I made another blunder because I was hurrying to "catch up".

It is possible that the fellow in question thought he needed some time to gather his thoughts and not fall into the domino effect that often leads up to a larger issue.

This story kind of reminds of the story where the PIC starts winding the clock after something happens...the SIC is all flustered and starts saying aren't you going to do this, aren't you going to do that and why are you winding the clock? To which the PIC says "I never killed anyone by winding a clock.".

It is hard to screw up just combing your hair. :<)

Len

 

[wbarnhill]

My favorite story involves a fighter landing at GYH, Hornet if I recall correctly. (We get trainers a good bit. They seem to enjoy the 8000x150 rwy). Guy comes in fast and hot, pulls up to the jet center, shuts down and hops out. Struts inside. Well his landing caused the tire on the nosewheel to pop, so the bare wheel is touching the asphalt...and starts melting into it. Comes back out to find his fighter isn't going anywhere. Poor guy has to call his CO and explain the situation. You can still see the divots in the asphalt

(Note: If this story is obviously bunk, feel free to let me know so I can stop mentioning it )

 

[Richard]

I watched as GND directed a flight of four F-18s to taxi onto a taxiway which had a weight limit far below the Hornet's weight. I listened as the lead and GND discussed if they could make a 180 turn, stop, or continue to next turn off. It was decided that if they stopped they would need to be extracted so they continued to the next turn which was some distance. That portion of the main parallel taxiway was OTS after that.

It all started when lead cleared to the left instead of right after landing. Also, GND had let the Hornet influence the decision of the best route to their destination. (It was too hot for them to taxi all the way around so they went for the shortcut.)

 

[Richard]

My stoopid pilot trick:

One day, somehow, I forgot to retract the last notch of flaps on my Cherokee. When I got back to the hangar, I was getting out of the plane when I saw a fairly attractive young lady a few hangars down. I was snatching a look when I stepped on the flap.

Whoosh! The flap goes all the way down (not being locked in place) and I fall straight down, with my other leg still on the plane.

Split pants, feeling like a split crotch, and a split ego when she comes over to help me up. Yay me.

Nick, I saw a friend do that exact same thing. I was standing right there and was mortified when he got splayed like you did but instead of falling to the ground, he regained his footing--sort of--picked up speed as he took a couple more steps and finally took a header to the ground just millimeters short of braining himself on the stabilator.

He came up smiling but when I explained that he had just missed being scalped he turned white. He was sore for a week in those unmentionable parts.

 

[Bill]

OK, my stupid pilot trick:

I fly two Cessnas and an Archer III, and of course the Cessnas have keys, so when you start, the mags are on. I sometimes forget to put the mags on in the Archer (has a panel above the windshield with switches).

Case in point, Friday night, with my safety pilot buddy (and, we rib each other horribly when we find chinks in the other's armour). Battery and alternator on, "clear prop", hit the start, then the electric prime, hold it down for 2-3 seconds, let up, count one thousand one, "should have fired by now." Brent says, "You might want to try this" and reaches up and clicks on the mags. Brrroooommmmm! He belly laughs, I sigh in disgust.

 

[Richard]

I can think of at least two goofs I've made that were the result of forgetting to do something, fixing that forgotten thing, then feeling rushed and I made another blunder because I was hurrying to "catch up".

It is possible that the fellow in question thought he needed some time to gather his thoughts and not fall into the domino effect that often leads up to a larger issue.

This story kind of reminds of the story where the PIC starts winding the clock after something happens...the SIC is all flustered and starts saying aren't you going to do this, aren't you going to do that and why are you winding the clock? To which the PIC says "I never killed anyone by winding a clock.".

It is hard to screw up just combing your hair. :<)

Len

Taking his side, huh?

 

[poadeleted3]

Just after getting my PPL, I was going to take my son Sean flying in a 152. Cathy and I are all excited about the fact that I can finally take the family flying, all fired up, etc. Cathy snapping pics, I'm trying to be Joe Cool, Pilot. Got all strapped in, start run through the engine start checklist, get to the part about turning the key to start.... and can't find the key. Check pockets (where they reside while I'm preflighting). Check the clipboard. Look on the floor. Finally, climb out so I can go through the cabin with a fine tooth comb. Found the key on the ground by the door.

Joe Cool slinks back into plane, goes through the checklist again, and takes off. Sigh.


Fortunately, it was so much fun getting to take Sean flying, and Cathy later in the day, that she forgot to rag on me about that LOL.

 

[Dave Krall CFII]

Just after getting my PPL, I was going to take my son Sean flying in a 152. Cathy and I are all excited about the fact that I can finally take the family flying, all fired up, etc. Cathy snapping pics, I'm trying to be Joe Cool, Pilot. Got all strapped in, start run through the engine start checklist, get to the part about turning the key to start.... and can't find the key. Check pockets (where they reside while I'm preflighting). Check the clipboard. Look on the floor. Finally, climb out so I can go through the cabin with a fine tooth comb. Found the key on the ground by the door.

Joe Cool slinks back into plane, goes through the checklist again, and takes off. Sigh.


Fortunately, it was so much fun getting to take Sean flying, and Cathy later in the day, that she forgot to rag on me about that LOL.

The really Joe Cool, Pilots, open the PIC window and without even looking, remove the keys from the door lock where it has remained hanging since the initiation of the preflight.

 

[Frank Browne]

Fortunately, it was so much fun getting to take Sean flying, and Cathy later in the day, that she forgot to rag on me about that LOL.

That's OK Joe. We'll pick up where Cathy left off. What are friends for?

 

[n20junkie]

The very last thing I do before buckling in is crouch down low and look at the bottom of the plane and the tires.

After shutting the door and buckling in the very first thing I do is unbuckle to get the keys out of my pocket.

I bought one of those remove before flight key chains, its long enough to hang out of my pocket, so that i can save cool points.

"My stoopid pilot trick:

One day, somehow, I forgot to retract the last notch of flaps on my Cherokee. When I got back to the hangar, I was getting out of the plane when I saw a fairly attractive young lady a few hangars down. I was snatching a look when I stepped on the flap.

Whoosh! The flap goes all the way down (not being locked in place) and I fall straight down, with my other leg still on the plane.

Split pants, feeling like a split crotch, and a split ego when she comes over to help me up. Yay me."


That one made me spit up my soda, I can relate.

 

[rfbdorf]

After shutting the door and buckling in the very first thing I do is unbuckle to get the keys out of my pocket.

Hey, I coulda written that, that's my trick!
- Richard

 

[AZAviator]

My dumb and embarassing thing, when soloing as a student: I was at the hold short line doing my run up when I hear this WHAP! BAM! sound, like something hit the plane. I look around to my best ability but can't see any damage. Don't know what the heck it was. I ask for a taxi back, just to be safe. As I am parking, Ground calls me and says the pilot in the plane to my right as I was running up sees what it was... I had left my fuel dipstick on the cowl, and that's what went flinging back. The ramp truck brought it over to me. The guy didn't even know what it was. Boy, did I feel stupid.

 

[kath]

This is great... this is like the pilots' version of the drinking game "I Never".

--Kath

 

[poadeleted1]

Re: Stoopid ATC tricks

that reminds me of the story about a controller who calls up a cessna on the ramp "be advised, your beacon isnt working. wait..yes it is..no its not, yes it is...."

dollars to doughnuts, the controller was a blonde....LOL

 

[AZAviator]

Perhaps we should call this thread the Confessional.

(I never even told my instructor my little story...)

 

[Frank Browne]

Perhaps we should call this thread the Confessional.

(I never even told my instructor my little story...)

Oh man, neither did I! However, I don't plan on "sharing" today either.