Grandmother Sumac
Pre-Flight
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- Jul 27, 2020
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Grandmother Sumac
Years ago I was a writer at a newspaper near an Air Corps training base that taught eager youths to fly a new type of Noisy Cargo Plane. One day I received an envelope containing a whopping great stack of looseleaf onto which a lengthy manifesto had been written in awkward hand using one of those great old industrial chisel-tip permanent markers that smelled of ammonia and lye. The whole newsroom stank of the madness for hours.
The manifesto contained a lengthy introduction of its author, who lived I presume somewhere in the base’s pattern, and how their many infirmities were continually aggravated by the large aircraft passing overhead (Uncle Sam made sure there was at least one of his great birds overhead at all times and in any circumstance in those days); Then there was a pleasant middle bit about Loretta Lynn, for some reason; Then the manifesto ended with the author’s threat to unleash both deer rifle and turkey gun on each of his duralumin enemies.
I shared it with my fellow writers and even a few of the brighter printer’s devils for a merry giggle before giving it over to a representative of the base’s crack Goon Squad. Never did hear what happened after that (such trite bits of nonsense didn’t Used to make it into Sensible publications).
Like I always say, “... nothing new under the sun.”
The manifesto contained a lengthy introduction of its author, who lived I presume somewhere in the base’s pattern, and how their many infirmities were continually aggravated by the large aircraft passing overhead (Uncle Sam made sure there was at least one of his great birds overhead at all times and in any circumstance in those days); Then there was a pleasant middle bit about Loretta Lynn, for some reason; Then the manifesto ended with the author’s threat to unleash both deer rifle and turkey gun on each of his duralumin enemies.
I shared it with my fellow writers and even a few of the brighter printer’s devils for a merry giggle before giving it over to a representative of the base’s crack Goon Squad. Never did hear what happened after that (such trite bits of nonsense didn’t Used to make it into Sensible publications).
Like I always say, “... nothing new under the sun.”