- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,774
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
Display name:
Snorting his way across the USA
Scenario: You're in the office and it's early afternoon. Well it's not your own office, just another company office. You can more or less come and go as you please.
1. Go home. Except home is a one room apartment with poor, sketchy Internet. Posting on the POA is hit and miss, and whoring it up on the PB with photos is out of the question. Plus the AC is only slightly less spotty, and trust me, you need AC. Oh yeah, there is the work thing too and you kind of need some Internet in order to be fully functional. Not necessarily secure Internet, just reliable Internet.
2. Stay at work. Reliable Internet, but, you're at work, camped out on a small conference table in a large room with a dozen or so workstations, but only a couple are occupied. And the little sweetie that displays her butt crack when she squats down to plug in her phone like no Westerner could ever do has already left for an assignment. The rest of the delectables are on the first floor in the admin area.
3. Go to the pub. That means going to a "Western" style Aussie or Brit bar which will have good Internet, but Western (without quotes) prices. And it's early afternoon. If you have dinner plans, you will be wiped by dinner time.
4. Go to a local restaurant. Local restaurants, e.g. the restaurants the locals go to, are generally open air, and can be any combination of eating and drinking you want it to be. They probably won't have Internet, and plus they usually do this kind of stuff in groups, so, in addition to the fact it's odd to be a Westerner to go there in the first place, it's like triple weird for a Westerner to go there alone. I mean it's not like you wouldn't get service and might lose a kidney or something like that, it's just counter cultural.
5. Go to the massage parlor. Heh. Yeah. No PB, no beer, you can get a massage if you want, problem here is that you might run in to your boss as well as some of your coworkers. Remember that the workstations in the war room are mostly unoccupied. Those guys are in the field? Uh huh.
6. Go shopping. No seriously, your man card remains validated. There are some things you just can't send your hoochie to buy, if you know what I mean. Why not do it on the MAN's time. I mean the MAN stuck you in this god awful humid mosquito fest, right?
7. Go to the gym. But you already went to the gym. It's early afternoon and that place is a sauna by now. On the other hand, it's probably as full of hoochies as it will ever be during this point in the day. Except they won't be YOUR hoochies. The reason they are there in the first place is because their wealthy husbands or Western boyfriends can afford to stick them there during the daytime to keep them out of trouble. Besides past noon is beer drinking time, not muscle building time. Plus how will you whore it up on the POA while you're on the treadmill. Come to think about it, that's probably how the last stupid flight from treadmill thread got started. Some drunk geeky guy trying to do cardio mid afternoon.
8. Finish that analysis you were supposed to submit two days ago but didn't because you had a severe case of the runs. And you were hung over too. Between 15 minute intervals to blow off both ends for two days straight plus the late night meeting (drinking) sessions you weren't very productive. Fortunately you were able to defer it by selling the concept of changing global conditions. You can probably ride that excuse through the end of next week.
9. Write a novel. What a novel idea. You have every element you need to write a book - a laptop, a mild case of paranoid delusional schizophrenia, an air conditioned office, an alcohol dependency, an air conditioned office in a lush jungle setting and handwritten signage in broken English. Oh yeah and some time to waste.
10. Seems like with nine things to do there should be a tenth option to make it easy. I'm thinking that a religious conversion to Buddhism might be an option. Those monk dudes seem to be happy wearing bath robes all day long with nothing to do but light incensed candles and shave each other's heads. I'm sure there are pressures to the job but I can't fathom what they are.
1. Go home. Except home is a one room apartment with poor, sketchy Internet. Posting on the POA is hit and miss, and whoring it up on the PB with photos is out of the question. Plus the AC is only slightly less spotty, and trust me, you need AC. Oh yeah, there is the work thing too and you kind of need some Internet in order to be fully functional. Not necessarily secure Internet, just reliable Internet.
2. Stay at work. Reliable Internet, but, you're at work, camped out on a small conference table in a large room with a dozen or so workstations, but only a couple are occupied. And the little sweetie that displays her butt crack when she squats down to plug in her phone like no Westerner could ever do has already left for an assignment. The rest of the delectables are on the first floor in the admin area.
3. Go to the pub. That means going to a "Western" style Aussie or Brit bar which will have good Internet, but Western (without quotes) prices. And it's early afternoon. If you have dinner plans, you will be wiped by dinner time.
4. Go to a local restaurant. Local restaurants, e.g. the restaurants the locals go to, are generally open air, and can be any combination of eating and drinking you want it to be. They probably won't have Internet, and plus they usually do this kind of stuff in groups, so, in addition to the fact it's odd to be a Westerner to go there in the first place, it's like triple weird for a Westerner to go there alone. I mean it's not like you wouldn't get service and might lose a kidney or something like that, it's just counter cultural.
5. Go to the massage parlor. Heh. Yeah. No PB, no beer, you can get a massage if you want, problem here is that you might run in to your boss as well as some of your coworkers. Remember that the workstations in the war room are mostly unoccupied. Those guys are in the field? Uh huh.
6. Go shopping. No seriously, your man card remains validated. There are some things you just can't send your hoochie to buy, if you know what I mean. Why not do it on the MAN's time. I mean the MAN stuck you in this god awful humid mosquito fest, right?
7. Go to the gym. But you already went to the gym. It's early afternoon and that place is a sauna by now. On the other hand, it's probably as full of hoochies as it will ever be during this point in the day. Except they won't be YOUR hoochies. The reason they are there in the first place is because their wealthy husbands or Western boyfriends can afford to stick them there during the daytime to keep them out of trouble. Besides past noon is beer drinking time, not muscle building time. Plus how will you whore it up on the POA while you're on the treadmill. Come to think about it, that's probably how the last stupid flight from treadmill thread got started. Some drunk geeky guy trying to do cardio mid afternoon.
8. Finish that analysis you were supposed to submit two days ago but didn't because you had a severe case of the runs. And you were hung over too. Between 15 minute intervals to blow off both ends for two days straight plus the late night meeting (drinking) sessions you weren't very productive. Fortunately you were able to defer it by selling the concept of changing global conditions. You can probably ride that excuse through the end of next week.
9. Write a novel. What a novel idea. You have every element you need to write a book - a laptop, a mild case of paranoid delusional schizophrenia, an air conditioned office, an alcohol dependency, an air conditioned office in a lush jungle setting and handwritten signage in broken English. Oh yeah and some time to waste.
10. Seems like with nine things to do there should be a tenth option to make it easy. I'm thinking that a religious conversion to Buddhism might be an option. Those monk dudes seem to be happy wearing bath robes all day long with nothing to do but light incensed candles and shave each other's heads. I'm sure there are pressures to the job but I can't fathom what they are.
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