[rant]There is a place for a crock pot, love it[/rant]

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

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Snorting his way across the USA
But then again there is not places for it. Consider this...

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Those are hamburgers. Or would have been. Not my idea.

I don't have a back story for this, other than I was watching random videos of Russian ships blowing up Somali pirates sheerly for the soundtrack.


Consider the smoldering Somali pirate boats as they burn in the open sea. Well that is how I felt about the burgers.

This the man with the master plan, I'm here to turn it out with a mic in my hand

(record scratching followed by electronic techno)

Well here is the thing.

It's not a shortcut. It takes... maybe ten minutes to pan fry burgers in the pan, add ten more for cleanup. Allow an hour block time for firing up the charcoal grill. These things were in the crock pot for the better of five hours.

Ever taken a trip to the Smithsonian in DC and see the mummy exhibits? I will say that the burgers probably had more moisture than King Tut, but not much more and take in to consideration that Tut is in a moisture controlled environment. Or not, I don't know if he's a display item or not. But if you wanted to eat him, or ever contemplated doing so, I have the recipe for you.

Let's reverse back to the late 1980's, cold war era military when MRE's were fully in establishment. Imagine the dried pork patty, to be reconstituted, but you didn't actually reconstitute it with water (ever try to eat a dry sponge?)

I tried to salvage it. I tried to be nice. No, I was nice. I ate it. Them. I was allocated two. I need to eat less. I've been eating too much. I do not want to eat any more. That is a good thing. But it was a painful experience, taste wise. I mean not like eating a dog turd. It tasted better than a dog turd. I'm not sure I can actually fully describe the taste of a dog turd as I have not eaten an actual dog turd, that I can recall.

There was no way out...


Anyway, the take home message is this: Hamburger... grill. Period. No microwave. No crock pot.
 
crockpot hamburgers.........things that make u go 'hhmmmm'
 
Throw some noodles over them and call it stroganov. (sp)
 
Was this a rant or was this a lithium controlled expression of personal relationship angst? First we have the unfortunate license plate frame and now we have an attack on one of the principle Sac meal choices. This is a train wreck in progress.



Train wrecks never end well.
 
Smother with spaghetti sauce, yeah that's the ticket.

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Clark1961 said:
That would be like putting a band-aid on a sucking chest wound after five hours in a crock pot.
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I'm confused, what was in the crockpot, the band-aid, the sucking chest wound or the persons applying/receiving said band aid? :confused2:
 
Timbeck2 said:
I'm confused, what was in the crockpot, the band-aid, the sucking chest wound or the persons applying/receiving said band aid? :confused2:
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It’s perfectly clear, the band-aid goes on the sucking chest wound after five hours in the crock pot.
 
You sir, had a misplaced modifier. But you're in luck, there's a guy on this very forum who knows plain English better than all of us.
 
Looks like someone suffered from a case of "When your only tool is a hammer..." syndrome.
 
So, cooking meat that is meant to be cooked fast and hot, low and slow, ends up in a disaster.
Stop the press.
 
Dude, how do you know those burgers were fresh or frozen when they went into the crock pot? Perhaps they were being rehydrated in there.

Like, what to do with those burgers from the college football game tail gate? You know, the ones that got cooked at 9:30a for the 1p game, but were next to the pulled pork, ribs, hotdogs and pig wings, so they went untouched and sat out drying until you got the tailgate cleaned up at 6pm and everything thrown away except the burger tray was too full and a shame toss so it ended up going home with you and back into the fridge by 9pm. So it's Sunday morning and you have a pile of ground meat hamburger jerky pucks and you need to feed the guys something for the NFL Sunday Ticket / Red Zone (tm) thing you invited them over for. So toss em in the crockpot with some Shiner Bock (tm). And don't forget the buns. And somehow no one got food poisoning.

That never happened, but I was feelin' SacArrowish, so I wrote dis liddl post...
 
Zeldman said:
Crockpot hamburgers......... mmmmmmm......... you don't know what you are missing..!!!
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Hey, just thought of something cool - crockpot CHEESEBURGERS! Just toss the burgers in the crockpot with a couple bricks of Velveeta (tm). Wait until they're swimming in melty cheese, then scoop one or two out and plop it on a bun.

One more: buy a bag of bacon crumbles and add it the crock mix above.

Man, I'm on a roll tonight....
 
Timbeck2 said:
Crock pots are so last century. It's Insta pot baby!
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Yah, we got one for Christmas. It's kind of the antithesis of a slow cooker. For those who are not familiar, it's a programmable pressure cooker. We tried it with country style ribs tonight, they came out quite juicy and tender, better than if they'd spent all day in the slow cooker.

I cook dinner on Tuesday and Saturday, and I don't use either of them. Tuesday, I've got an hour go get 'er done, I tend to do a lot of sautes, like this one: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/214488/lemon-chicken-piccata/, which we serve with pasta. Saturday tends to be a little more leisurely, maybe a risotto or stew or tournedos: https://www.marthastewart.com/352706/tournedos-wrapped-bacon-and-sage . Hard to go wrong with bacon wrapped tenderloin.

I made tournedos last week. It seems like an outrageous luxury at first, but the total cost for the meal came in under $25 for the four of us. You can't go to Chick-fil-a on that kind of money.
 
455 Bravo Uniform said:
Hey, just thought of something cool - crockpot CHEESEBURGERS! Just toss the burgers in the crockpot with a couple bricks of Velveeta (tm). Wait until they're swimming in melty cheese, then scoop one or two out and plop it on a bun.

One more: buy a bag of bacon crumbles and add it the crock mix above.

Man, I'm on a roll tonight....
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Oh it gets worse. Imagine pasta AND cheese in the crock pot. It had the taste and consistency of chimney soot.
 
Two words: cookbook

Okay, that was one word....but it is made from two words: cook and book.

Nothing dangled.
 
FormerHangie said:
Yah, we got one for Christmas. It's kind of the antithesis of a slow cooker. For those who are not familiar, it's a programmable pressure cooker.
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I gave one for Christmas. It's actually a "multi-cooker". It can both pressure cook and slow-cook. And rice cook. And make yogurt.
 
asicer said:
I gave one for Christmas. It's actually a "multi-cooker". It can both pressure cook and slow-cook. And rice cook. And make yogurt.
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For Christmas I gave my wife a combination avocado pitter and yogurt squirter......
 
When I worked fast food in my youth, we would take the over-cooked hamburger patties like that and cut them up and put them in the chili we used for hot dogs and Frito chili pies.
 
Mrs. Steingar likes her crock pot, but I've never warmed to it (pun, pun!). You have to salute in another pot before it can go in the crock pot. If I'm going to do all that I'd just as soon use my cast iron dutch over, sauce in it and then throw the whole kit and caboodle in a low oven.

Can't imagine why anyone would try and cook meat patties in one. Wrong kid of heat.
 
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