[rant]Office BBQ's[rant]

[Sac Arrow]

It's time again. Every quarter or so we shut down the office in the afternoon (sort of) and have a BBQ event/potluck. Company supplies the meat and the beer (the two staples) and staff brings in appetizers and salads and stuff like that.

Typically, drinking begins around noon time and the appetizers go out, then cooking begins at 2:00 or so except for the stuff that is actually BBQ-ing which has been cooking a few hours, for a planned "eat" time (eating the good stuff) around 3:00.

I mean what an awkward, bastard time. It's very late for lunch, and way too early for dinner. Homie don't do breakfast, certainly not if lunch or later will be an excessive eating event, so he just starves uncontrollably until eating time, and then tends to way overeat. Then of course with all that food and drink, the rest of the evening is just gone, and there is little room for dinner.

Anyway, I'm just mentally psyching myself up for the event. I might take the day off, or plan to be out of the office until 3:00 or something like that. Done ranting for now. Thank you, I feel better.

 

[Matthew]

That IS a dumbass time. Almost as bad as when we had our Christmas lunch and the food was an hour and a half late...

So - what's on the meat menu?

 

[frfly172]

Mid afternoon ,work is over for the day,kick back over a few beers. Free food isn't bad either.

 

[Sac Arrow]

That IS a dumbass time. Almost as bad as when we had our Christmas lunch and the food was an hour and a half late...

So - what's on the meat menu?

Carnitas (Mexican pulled pork) and carne asada (Mexican beef steak sliced thinly and marinated.) The carnitas will slow cook early, and the carne asada will be grilled before eating time.

So far the beer procurement looks like a bunch of Modelo and some mixed full flavored beers. I don't drink beer but if I do it's diet beer. We still have a couple bottles of scotch and Irish whiskey in the breakroom so I'll probably drink that.

 

[Matthew]

Carnitas (Mexican pulled pork) and carne asada (Mexican beef steak sliced thinly and marinated.) The carnitas will slow cook early, and the carne asada will be grilled before eating time.

So far the beer procurement looks like a bunch of Modelo and some mixed full flavored beers. I don't drink beer but if I do it's diet beer. We still have a couple bottles of scotch and Irish whiskey in the breakroom so I'll probably drink that.

Whoa, dude. Carnitas AND carne asada? I'm on my way.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Whoa, dude. Carnitas AND carne asada? I'm on my way.

We do have to accomodate our Jewish staff. Not to the point of strict kosher, but carne asada works.

 

[Bob Noel]

Few things worse than a "free" lunch at work and *then* going back to work.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Few things worse than a "free" lunch at work and *then* going back to work.

Trust me, no deliverables are going out tomorrow afternoon.

 

[poadeleted21]

Reminds me of my buddy who scheduled his wedding and reception on the afternoon of the Sunday before Labor Day.

Now what do I do here?

You're in California.
You're smoking it.
It is Pork.
But it's Mexican.

I love Carnitas and Carne Asada as much as the next guy but I don't think I can let that pass as BBQ not even on a technicality.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Reminds me of my buddy who scheduled his wedding and reception on the afternoon of the Sunday before Labor Day.

Now what do I do here?

You're in California.
You're smoking it.
It is Pork.
But it's Mexican.

I love Carnitas and Carne Asada as much as the next guy but I don't think I can let that pass as BBQ not even on a technicality.

1. The event name is BBQ.

2. Okay fine, smoked pork shoulder prepared in the continental United States by white guys. It's BBQ. If you can't consider that BBQ then you're a bigot and a racist. Well okay maybe you aren't a bigot and a racist but the National Barbecue Association should fine you exorbitantly.

 

[JB1842]

Can we have a "Never" option? Or better yet, "After work with only certain people invited" option?

 

[Sac Arrow]

Can we have a "Never" option? Or better yet, "After work with only certain people invited" option?

I debated about including an option for after work, but decided that it would categorically bump it out of the "office event" category. Only certain people are going to show up anyway even everyone is invited.

 

[Matthew]

1. The event name is BBQ.

2. Okay fine, smoked pork shoulder prepared in the continental United States by white guys. It's BBQ. If you can't consider that BBQ then you're a bigot and a racist. Well okay maybe you aren't a bigot and a racist but the National Barbecue Association should fine you exorbitantly.

Actually, it's KCBS that sanctions most BBQ contests.

And their definition of pork:

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Boston Roast, Picnic and/or Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of four (4) pounds at the time of inspection. After trimming, pork shall be cooked whole (bone in or bone out), however, once cooked, it may be separated and returned to the cooker at the cook’s discretion. It may be turned in chopped, pulled, chunked, sliced or a combination of any of those.

It has to be cooked on a fire of wood, wood pellets, or charcoal. Parboiling, Sous-vide, and deep frying is not allowed.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Actually, it's KCBS that sanctions most BBQ contests.

And their definition of pork:

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Boston Roast, Picnic and/or Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of four (4) pounds at the time of inspection. After trimming, pork shall be cooked whole (bone in or bone out), however, once cooked, it may be separated and returned to the cooker at the cook’s discretion. It may be turned in chopped, pulled, chunked, sliced or a combination of any of those.

It has to be cooked on a fire of wood, wood pellets, or charcoal. Parboiling, Sous-vide, and deep frying is not allowed.

Bada f**king bing. There we have it. Neener neener neener Bart.

 

[Matthew]

Bada f**king bing. There we have it. Neener neener neener Bart.

But grilling <> BBQ. The judges see to that, so carne asada doesn't count and it doesn't fall into any of the official categories anyway.


Just sayin'

But sign me up - I love me some carne asada and carnitas!

 

[Sac Arrow]

But grilling <> BBQ. The judges see to that, so carne asada doesn't count and it doesn't fall into any of the official categories anyway.

Agreed, carne asada doesn't count.

 

[poadeleted21]

1. The event name is BBQ.

2. Okay fine, smoked pork shoulder prepared in the continental United States by white guys. It's BBQ. If you can't consider that BBQ then you're a bigot and a racist. Well okay maybe you aren't a bigot and a racist but the National Barbecue Association should fine you exorbitantly.

There's your problem right there. #1 BBQ is not an event.

You have BBQ sauce on BBQ, how the hell do you put BBQ Sauce on an event? is "steak" an event now too?

 

[poadeleted21]

Actually, it's KCBS that sanctions most BBQ contests.

And their definition of pork:

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Boston Roast, Picnic and/or Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of four (4) pounds at the time of inspection. After trimming, pork shall be cooked whole (bone in or bone out), however, once cooked, it may be separated and returned to the cooker at the cook’s discretion. It may be turned in chopped, pulled, chunked, sliced or a combination of any of those.

It has to be cooked on a fire of wood, wood pellets, or charcoal. Parboiling, Sous-vide, and deep frying is not allowed.

No self respecting Memphian would recognize an organization in KC.

THE DEFINITIVE PLACE for BBQ is

"The World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest" in Memphis in May.

It should be noted that it's named "BBQ COOKING Contest" You don't cook or put sauce on events.

No, there's no brisket nor is there any carnitas at THE event.

 

[Sac Arrow]

There's your problem right there. #1 BBQ is not an event.

You have BBQ sauce on BBQ, how the hell do you put BBQ Sauce on an event? is "steak" an event now too?

Of course.

1. Last year the cook got very drunk and the BBQ sauce bottle slipped out of his hand. BBQ sauce did indeed get on the event.

2. You've never said to your girlfriend or wife "Hey baby, let's go steaking?!" meaning "let's go eat out at a steak house."

 

[Matthew]

No self respecting Memphian would recognize an organization in KC.

THE DEFINITIVE PLACE for BBQ is

"The World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest" in Memphis in May.

It should be noted that it's named "BBQ COOKING Contest" You don't cook or put sauce on events.

No, there's no brisket nor is there any carnitas at THE event.

"BBQ cooking contest"? There's a problem. Around the parts,we like to judge on the quality of the BBQ, not the cooking!

...

I think the only BBQ style I haven't had in the last ten years or so has been Memphis. Gotta find me some of that.

 

[Clark1961]

No self respecting Memphian would recognize an organization in KC.

THE DEFINITIVE PLACE for BBQ is

"The World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest" in Memphis in May.

It should be noted that it's named "BBQ COOKING Contest" You don't cook or put sauce on events.

No, there's no brisket nor is there any carnitas at THE event.

There he goes campaigning again during the poll....oops, wrong thread

 

[pilot_dude]

Start mid-morning. You'll be liquored up and fed by 13:00 and then call it a day. It's a win-win

 

[EdFred]

So cake is an event as in Cake Baking Contest?
Pie is an event as in Pie Eating Contest?

Sorry, you fail.

 

[Sac Arrow]

So cake is an event as in Cake Baking Contest?
Pie is an event as in Pie Eating Contest?

Sorry, you fail.

Au contraire mon frere, "Caking" refers to the buildup of attached solids to a surface.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Start mid-morning. You'll be liquored up and fed by 13:00 and then call it a day. It's a win-win

Except when it's time to go clubbing and troll for chicks. You're already spent.

But I'd still take it over mid afternoon.

 

[poadeleted21]

Au contraire mon frere, "Caking" refers to the buildup of attached solids to a surface.

What does this event own? Office BBQ's

 

[Sac Arrow]

What does this event own? Office BBQ's

You got me there.

 

[MAKG1]

Except when it's time to go clubbing and troll for chicks. You're already spent.

But I'd still take it over mid afternoon.

Heh. Our last event was run by our German partners and included sausages, German beer (sorry, no such thing as German diet beer), and a ton of ice cream. And it started at 5 on a Friday with families invited.

I'll eat local carnitas, but not if I have to go back in the cube farm. Coworkers don't like the "sound effects."

 

[Sac Arrow]

Heh. Our last event was run by our German partners and included sausages, German beer (sorry, no such thing as German diet beer), and a ton of ice cream. And it started at 5 on a Friday with families invited.

I'll eat local carnitas, but not if I have to go back in the cube farm. Coworkers don't like the "sound effects."

Yeah but the legal test here is whether slow cooked carnitas constitutes barbecue. Case law has already been cited.

 

[Jthamilton]

Gots to agree, BBQ is all about the smoke and meat, never when to meet!

Replace carnita s with a boston butt with ancho chili rub with some brown sugar slow smoked over fruit wood for 1 and half hour per pound. After the first devouring session sauté some jalapeños with left overs simmer with rotel until moisture is almost gone and you have some darn good tacos! Give it a try!

I didn't get overweight from eating vegetables!!

 

[denverpilot]

Au contraire mon frere, "Caking" refers to the buildup of attached solids to a surface.

Except when processing nuclear materials.

 

[poadeleted21]

Yeah but the legal test here is whether slow cooked carnitas constitutes barbecue. Case law has already been cited.

I got my own BBQ thread now so we can go back on topic.

I typically get paid for coming up with solutions to complex problems but this one is on the house.

Why not have a light snack to hold you over? There has to be a neatly sliced half doughnut in the break room.

 

[denverpilot]

I got my own BBQ thread now so we can go back on topic.



I typically get paid for coming up with solutions to complex problems but this one is on the house.



Why not have a light snack to hold you over? There has to be a neatly sliced half doughnut in the break room.

ROFLMAO!

 

[Hank S]

Point of manners: "barbecue" (bar-b-que; BBQ) is a noun, not a verb. Only untutored Yankees use barbecue to mean "cooking most any food item on a grill." Your proposal of barbecuing eggs and waffles, though, is a first for me!

Proper barbecue requires various pig parts (a half or whole pig is preferred), low heat, smoke and overnight to cook. Sauce is nice, too, sourced in tomatoes and chile peppers (except for folks from SC, unlettered heathen whose sauce starts off as mustard). Beef ribs and/or chicken may occasionally be included with the pork.

What you are describing is a "cook out," best held at normal eating times. Eating may be delayed when the cook out is combined with a "beer bust," but generally by no more than an hour. To do otherwise is rude and uncouth.

 

[EdFred]

Point of manners: "barbecue" (bar-b-que; BBQ) is a noun, not a verb.

Wrong.

Buford T Justice was not a Yankee.

Definitely a verb.

 

[N801BH]

...Company supplies the meat and the beer .......

Then of course with all that food and drink, the rest of the evening is just gone, and there is little room for dinner.

.........

In this day and age of everyone suing everyone, I am shocked an employer would provide alcohol at a company function...

 

[Sac Arrow]

Point of manners: "barbecue" (bar-b-que; BBQ) is a noun, not a verb. Only untutored Yankees use barbecue to mean "cooking most any food item on a grill." Your proposal of barbecuing eggs and waffles, though, is a first for me!

Proper barbecue requires various pig parts (a half or whole pig is preferred), low heat, smoke and overnight to cook. Sauce is nice, too, sourced in tomatoes and chile peppers (except for folks from SC, unlettered heathen whose sauce starts off as mustard). Beef ribs and/or chicken may occasionally be included with the pork.

What you are describing is a "cook out," best held at normal eating times. Eating may be delayed when the cook out is combined with a "beer bust," but generally by no more than an hour. To do otherwise is rude and uncouth.

This is California. We can use any damn word we want as a verb.

But you're absolutely right that it is best held during normal eating hours. I prefer dinner hours myself.

In this day and age of everyone suing everyone, I am shocked an employer would provide alcohol at a company function...

Don't get me started on how much The Man ****es me off. This is sort of our way of saying "F you, The Man!"

 

[Everskyward]

I debated about including an option for after work, but decided that it would categorically bump it out of the "office event" category. Only certain people are going to show up anyway even everyone is invited.

Right, they want to get paid while having their BBQ.

 

[Clark1961]

Right, they want to get paid while having their BBQ.

If they have their BBQ, can they eat it too?

All this typing about BBQ is making me hungry - gotta drive up the hill to Bailey for some Hog Heaven.

 

[Everskyward]

If they have their BBQ, can they eat it too?

All this typing about BBQ is making me hungry - gotta drive up the hill to Bailey for some Hog Heaven.

It's going to be much too warm for BBQ. Or does that only count when you are outdoors?