- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,654
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
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Snorting his way across the USA
I've always liked Arby's. The hot, thin sliced roast beef was the bomb. But here's the thing - that was back in the day when I still ate buns, and even then, I'm pretty sure I hadn't touched an Arby's in twenty years.
The one thing that I remembered liking about Arby's was the Horsey Sauce. It was a light, creamy horseradish sauce that really complimented the roast beef well. Arby's roast beef + horsey sauce = I could go in to debt eating roast beef sandwiches all day long.
The thing is, I haven't had that stuff in twenty years.
Fast forward to, about, one hour and fifty minutes ago. I didn't have a craving about Arby's, and frankly, there is no Arby's within a ten mile radius. Maybe it's five miles. Okay, made me look. 3.2 miles via surface streets. I actually didn't know there was one that close. But that is here nor there. I had a craving for a burger.
Here is the thing though. The Korean Burger Place, which is now presently staffed by two hispanic women and a Vietnamese guy. The latina cook worked there for years. The other latina and the Vietnamese dude worked across the parking lot when the French Vietnamese cafe was still there. I don't know if the Koreans bugged out entirely, or they just own it in the background, but you can still get your bulgogis and your teryakis, and your fried dumplings if you want. The fried dumplings are new.
Here's the thing about Koreans. They like their burgers. That is why in Asia, most places that offer up American style hamburgers are Korean. That is just a side note. Just setting the stage as to why I go to a Korean place for the burgers, when there aren't even Korean girls to ogle. Basically, it's within walking distance. And the burgers are really good.
Back to the Arby's connection. As much as I love the Korean Burger Place, they don't seem to be big on condiments. Back before the Gestapo took over the state and county health departments and you could still eat inside, the best they could offer was squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard. I do not believe they had a drop of mayo on the premises. Well, technically it would be a glob, not a drip I guess. Now this was an issue before, and while I didn't rant about it, I contemplated using potentially outdated packets of mayo, but instead fell back on the break room stuff in the fridge. Well, that was out a couple days ago. Yesterday I reverted to the packets of mayo still sitting in my desk. Today...
...I resorted to searching the shelf with the hundreds of packets of various condiments donated by those that didn't want them. There was spicy mustard in the fridge and I like spicy mustard, but I thought I might get lucky and dig up some Subway mayo packets. I didn't find any, but I did find....
You got it. Horsey Sauce. Two packets. Like, yay. So I hid them in my desk in the same manner that a bear might secure its half eaten prey. I'm not necessarily saying bears have desks, and if they did that's probably the first place the other bears would look, but, anyway, yeah.
I mean, I probably -could- have just eaten the double bacon cheeseburger, lettuce wrapped, two 1/3 lb flame broiled burger patties, just as it was, but dammit to hell man, I need either mustard or mayo. I anxiously ripped the first pack of Horsey Sauce open and applied it to my burger. Honestly, I did not look as I remembered. I thought the stuff was white, not the color and consistency of thick honey. I was not expecting that. But, again, it's been so long. The second pack was the same, so, maybe that is just how it is. And to be honest with you, it didn't taste anything like I remembered it to taste.
Images of the CDC and poison hotline flashed through my head later, so just for peace of mind, I Googled Horsey Sauce. The images depicted a white sauce with a slight texture, not what could be best described as honey mustard.
So if I'm still here tomorrow, then I guess it was harmless and I'm good to go. I mean cabbage rotting in fish oil is technically edible. Otherwise, you will know what happened to me.
The one thing that I remembered liking about Arby's was the Horsey Sauce. It was a light, creamy horseradish sauce that really complimented the roast beef well. Arby's roast beef + horsey sauce = I could go in to debt eating roast beef sandwiches all day long.
The thing is, I haven't had that stuff in twenty years.
Fast forward to, about, one hour and fifty minutes ago. I didn't have a craving about Arby's, and frankly, there is no Arby's within a ten mile radius. Maybe it's five miles. Okay, made me look. 3.2 miles via surface streets. I actually didn't know there was one that close. But that is here nor there. I had a craving for a burger.
Here is the thing though. The Korean Burger Place, which is now presently staffed by two hispanic women and a Vietnamese guy. The latina cook worked there for years. The other latina and the Vietnamese dude worked across the parking lot when the French Vietnamese cafe was still there. I don't know if the Koreans bugged out entirely, or they just own it in the background, but you can still get your bulgogis and your teryakis, and your fried dumplings if you want. The fried dumplings are new.
Here's the thing about Koreans. They like their burgers. That is why in Asia, most places that offer up American style hamburgers are Korean. That is just a side note. Just setting the stage as to why I go to a Korean place for the burgers, when there aren't even Korean girls to ogle. Basically, it's within walking distance. And the burgers are really good.
Back to the Arby's connection. As much as I love the Korean Burger Place, they don't seem to be big on condiments. Back before the Gestapo took over the state and county health departments and you could still eat inside, the best they could offer was squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard. I do not believe they had a drop of mayo on the premises. Well, technically it would be a glob, not a drip I guess. Now this was an issue before, and while I didn't rant about it, I contemplated using potentially outdated packets of mayo, but instead fell back on the break room stuff in the fridge. Well, that was out a couple days ago. Yesterday I reverted to the packets of mayo still sitting in my desk. Today...
...I resorted to searching the shelf with the hundreds of packets of various condiments donated by those that didn't want them. There was spicy mustard in the fridge and I like spicy mustard, but I thought I might get lucky and dig up some Subway mayo packets. I didn't find any, but I did find....
You got it. Horsey Sauce. Two packets. Like, yay. So I hid them in my desk in the same manner that a bear might secure its half eaten prey. I'm not necessarily saying bears have desks, and if they did that's probably the first place the other bears would look, but, anyway, yeah.
I mean, I probably -could- have just eaten the double bacon cheeseburger, lettuce wrapped, two 1/3 lb flame broiled burger patties, just as it was, but dammit to hell man, I need either mustard or mayo. I anxiously ripped the first pack of Horsey Sauce open and applied it to my burger. Honestly, I did not look as I remembered. I thought the stuff was white, not the color and consistency of thick honey. I was not expecting that. But, again, it's been so long. The second pack was the same, so, maybe that is just how it is. And to be honest with you, it didn't taste anything like I remembered it to taste.
Images of the CDC and poison hotline flashed through my head later, so just for peace of mind, I Googled Horsey Sauce. The images depicted a white sauce with a slight texture, not what could be best described as honey mustard.
So if I'm still here tomorrow, then I guess it was harmless and I'm good to go. I mean cabbage rotting in fish oil is technically edible. Otherwise, you will know what happened to me.
